How disgusting is this...

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  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
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    As for the OP, I have to say and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but I would not respond positively to you were you my healthcare provider. I have had physicians and nurses in the past who I knew were disgusted by me. They didn't have to outright say it but it was evident in the manner in which they provided care. All it did was make me more resentful and determined to rebel. Some people may respond positively to that sort of treatment but I do not. I don't want anyone making excuses for me or to even letme make excuses for myself . But I can appreciate and receive constructive feedback delivered without judgement. That is why I get along much better with my nurse than my nutritionist. And just because I've lost almost 100 lbs I don't feel that gives me license to to look down on other people who are at a different point in their journey or have yet to start. Just something to consider as you will most likely have patients who cover a wide spectrum in the level of care they need and respond to.

    yes... cause posting on a forum = how one gives quality of pt care.
    The fact that you were "disgusted" enough to come on here and post says quite a bit. You say you were obese and lost weight and it sounds like you have a case of all the fat in your *kitten* went to your head. The woman said she is done with the same and extreme measures to lose weight but it also says she still walks her dog a mile every day and while she doesn't detail her diet she said she eats some foods that aren't as great and some that are.... so I don't know what the big deal is. Seems you completely missed that part.
  • artslady96
    artslady96 Posts: 132 Member
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    Honestly, the puritanical judgement others have passed on this woman based on one blog post is disgusting. People are highly complex, far too complex to judge based on one article regardless of its depth. She alludes to an emotionally poor childhood, but we know only some highlights and not all the specific events that occurred during it. Moreover, she doesn't blame her doctors for her weight problems; in fact, she seems to fully understand that it is her poor eating habits and lack of exercise--whether compelled by her demonic past, low self-esteem, or something else--that causes her weight issue. She rebukes her doctors and society merely for seeing her ONLY as an obese individual and nothing else. As someone who was disregarded by an endocrinologist for her weight only to be later diagnosed by another one with two hormonal imbalances whose symptoms include weight issues, I understand her frustration.

    If anything, her blog post is sad. It is sad that she FEELS compelled to eat for comfort rather than confront her demons by coming to terms with the abuse; understanding its impact on her self-esteem, actions, and behaviors; and then empowering herself to become a more positive individual without using extra or unhealthy foods. It is sad that she sees so little value in herself that she does not see herself as a worthwhile endeavor on a regular basis. But, it seems like she has a lot of mental issues to confront before she is in a safe enough place to tackle her weight issue. And that she recognizes this yet cannot bring herself to begin the emotional journey of healing is a sign of true mental illness, sad, and worthy of our compassion and not disgust.

    Until you have walked a mile in someone's shoes, one shouldn't judge her so harshly. And, as someone who grapples with self-image as well as being sexually and emotionally abused as a child/adolescent, I ask you to feel blessed that you cannot understand her and just leave her be, whether you agree with her choices or not.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
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    bump for later
  • AngelicxAnnihilation
    AngelicxAnnihilation Posts: 336 Member
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    A lot of that really hit home for me. If that is a book I think I'm going to pick it up.. Thanks op..

    I don't really think it's disgusting, it's hard to have to continually make sacrifices as child, have it continue into adulthood and then to make more. Maybe at this point she was content with the way her life was with no change and she just wasn't ready to make a healthy lifestyle for her self.. Maybe she hasn't heard of MFP?
  • SrJoben
    SrJoben Posts: 484 Member
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    The author of the essay is taking society's slightly neurotic obsession with being thin as an excuse to retreat into her own completely neurotic obsession with being fat. She turns a simple physical state into a badge of identity and honor.

    Lines about not wanting to deny the abused little girl she was anything cross the line from evidence of psychological damage to fetishistic self pity. She is a grown woman now. She should make responsible choices rather than resorting to whiny "Think of the children" arguments and applying them to herself.

    She says things like this: "There’s always a former Miss Lonelyheart, a thirtysomething virgin who — after a gastric bypass or militant adherence to the Paleo diet — has shed half her body weight and is finally ready for Mr. Right. I’ve no doubt that they really do feel healthier and happier, and honestly (truly) good for them. I just wish that the entirety of their lives weren’t reduced to a single achievement."

    Just look at that last sentence. She thinks that weight is such a huge deal that people view weight loss as the main achievement of their lives. NO ONE THINKS LIKE THIS. Except her because she is completely obsessed with weight.

    There is not a single remotely rational or healthy sentiment expressed in this entire essay. She is a very sick woman.
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
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    Just want to point out that she is simply implying that she is done trying to fit in and be what people expect her to be. Instead, she will eat her grilled cheese and bacon when she pleases, and do as she enjoys. She states that she takes a mile long walk, and that she does have her healthy meals. Just that she isn't focused and fixated because she is truely happy with herself as she is. That's not disgusting.

    Also, she notes that she is more worried about her test numbers (blood, bp, etc.) then the scale numbers. It is possible to have a higher weight AND maintain healthy blood results and all that. I have fantastic blood pressure, no medical problems what so ever. I plan to lose weight because I want to buy cuter clothes that I like and not spend 100s of dollars, but I'm not doing it for any one but me. She is choosing to be her because that makes her happy.

    So, it's not disgusting. Disgusting is "I don't care what I eat, how I eat, when I eat, and I don't care if I become diabetic and have a heart attack."

    Also, helps to consider that she has a lot of emotional scarring and ADMITS that she has emotional eatting problems that she has looked at. What she isn't wanting is someone to say "You can't be happy because you're fat." She clearly is happy, and ok with her the way she is. Honestly, I'd say that is more important than meeting anyones goal weight for you other than your own.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
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    As for the article, I'm not a fan of her style. She switches between multiple voices, never making it clear exactly which one she is using:
    -Despair
    -Sarcasm
    -Social criticism
    -Defiance
    -Factual history

    I ended with no clear idea of who she is.

    I'm glad you wrote this - I had an extremely hard time following the article and I though it was just me.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    How disgusting is it to place judgement on someone based on an article containing a tiny snippet of her life.
  • soldier4242
    soldier4242 Posts: 1,368 Member
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    OP, you're training to be a PA? I feel sorry for your patients. Empathy is an important quality in a health care professional.
    Personally I would my my PA to be honest with me rather than tell me what I want to hear. If I were to actively choose to just be obese because it is easier than working hard and being healthy I would want anyone who is serious about being in the health care profession to tell me that is a stupid idea.

    Sure I have the right to go ahead and be fat but a health care professional should tell me not to do that and if they did otherwise they would be remiss in their responsibilities. I used to be a CMT before I got in to IT. I have told plenty of fat people that if they don't start to exercise and eat right it will have a negative impact on their health.
  • peeaanuut
    peeaanuut Posts: 359 Member
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    Now OKRA. thats disgusting. Seriously. NAAASSSTTTYYYY!!!!
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
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    to the numerous posts above on this part of the author.... her is my reply


    The therapist wants her patient (the author) to get down to a weight which won't lead to additional health complications. I'm confident that the therapist realizes the author has a lot of body image issues, based on their personal conversations and her medical/education/real life exp helped her diagnosis her pt. It's not like the therapist wants her to lose weight so the therapist doesn't have to look at her jiggling when she talks ffs. The therapist wants the author to lose weight so she will have fewer emotionally charged body image issues.

    I don't think she has to be skinny, and in fact, the pursuit of skinny will bring quite a few more psychological issues with it. I'm just saying don't be obese to just be obese and a person who is ignorant to the reason you are fat, don't deny that you have a problem and don't blame others for your own ****ty decisions.

    Which the author is clearly doing.
  • peeaanuut
    peeaanuut Posts: 359 Member
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    OP, you're training to be a PA? I feel sorry for your patients. Empathy is an important quality in a health care professional.
    Personally I would my my PA to be honest with me rather than tell me what I want to hear. If I were to actively choose to just be obese because it is easier than working hard and being healthy I would want anyone who is serious about being in the health care profession to tell me that is a stupid idea.

    Sure I have the right to go ahead and be fat but a health care professional should tell me not to do that and if they did otherwise they would be remiss in their responsibilities. I used to be a CMT before I got in to IT. I have told plenty of fat people that if they don't start to exercise and eat right it will have a negative impact on their health.

    there is a difference between your doctor letting you know that you are unhealthy and should take steps to better yourself and just coming out and saying, well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
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    Sorry dude...My first reactions are 1.) Very well written 2.) Very sad. Someone who is at the end of her rope of doesn't know what to do.

    Been there before. It sucks. Doesn't mean a year from know she won't snap out of it and start making changes.
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    bump to read later
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
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    there is a difference between your doctor letting you know that you are unhealthy and should take steps to better yourself and just coming out and saying, well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill.

    well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill

    smh....

    cause thats what medical providers do????
  • DragonSquatter
    DragonSquatter Posts: 957 Member
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    to the numerous posts above on this part of the author.... her is my reply


    The therapist wants her patient (the author) to get down to a weight which won't lead to additional health complications. I'm confident that the therapist realizes the author has a lot of body image issues, based on their personal conversations and her medical/education/real life exp helped her diagnosis her pt. It's not like the therapist wants her to lose weight so the therapist doesn't have to look at her jiggling when she talks ffs. The therapist wants the author to lose weight so she will have fewer emotionally charged body image issues.

    I don't think she has to be skinny, and in fact, the pursuit of skinny will bring quite a few more psychological issues with it. I'm just saying don't be obese to just be obese and a person who is ignorant to the reason you are fat, don't deny that you have a problem and don't blame others for your own ****ty decisions.

    Which the author is clearly doing.

    This is how I read this thread also.

    For those thinking the OP referred to the woman's body as "disgusting," I think you blew right past the actual point he was trying to make that it's her decisions and lack of self-responsibility that he finds abhorrent NOT HER BODY. Admittedly, the use of the word "disgusting" probably was not the best choice to convey this idea.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    Just want to point out that she is simply implying that she is done trying to fit in and be what people expect her to be. Instead, she will eat her grilled cheese and bacon when she pleases, and do as she enjoys. She states that she takes a mile long walk, and that she does have her healthy meals. Just that she isn't focused and fixated because she is truely happy with herself as she is. That's not disgusting.

    Also, she notes that she is more worried about her test numbers (blood, bp, etc.) then the scale numbers. It is possible to have a higher weight AND maintain healthy blood results and all that. I have fantastic blood pressure, no medical problems what so ever. I plan to lose weight because I want to buy cuter clothes that I like and not spend 100s of dollars, but I'm not doing it for any one but me. She is choosing to be her because that makes her happy.

    So, it's not disgusting. Disgusting is "I don't care what I eat, how I eat, when I eat, and I don't care if I become diabetic and have a heart attack."

    Also, helps to consider that she has a lot of emotional scarring and ADMITS that she has emotional eatting problems that she has looked at. What she isn't wanting is someone to say "You can't be happy because you're fat." She clearly is happy, and ok with her the way she is. Honestly, I'd say that is more important than meeting anyones goal weight for you other than your own.

    perfectly said. i'm glad i'm not the only one who read it that way.
  • peeaanuut
    peeaanuut Posts: 359 Member
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    there is a difference between your doctor letting you know that you are unhealthy and should take steps to better yourself and just coming out and saying, well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill.

    well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill

    smh....

    cause thats what medical providers do????


    its what you did. your first reaction was that she is disgusting and then you posted it. And I was replying to the post about a doctor being honest. They were saying that telling someone they are disgusting is honest and what a doctor should do. I was disagreeing with it.
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
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    to the numerous posts above on this part of the author.... her is my reply


    The therapist wants her patient (the author) to get down to a weight which won't lead to additional health complications. I'm confident that the therapist realizes the author has a lot of body image issues, based on their personal conversations and her medical/education/real life exp helped her diagnosis her pt. It's not like the therapist wants her to lose weight so the therapist doesn't have to look at her jiggling when she talks ffs. The therapist wants the author to lose weight so she will have fewer emotionally charged body image issues.

    I don't think she has to be skinny, and in fact, the pursuit of skinny will bring quite a few more psychological issues with it. I'm just saying don't be obese to just be obese and a person who is ignorant to the reason you are fat, don't deny that you have a problem and don't blame others for your own ****ty decisions.

    Which the author is clearly doing.

    This is how I read this thread also.

    For those thinking the OP referred to the woman's body as "disgusting," I think you blew right past the actual point he was trying to make that it's her decisions and lack of self-responsibility that he finds abhorrent. Admittedly, the use of the word "disgusting" probably was not the best choice to convey this idea.
    ]

    Look at me, im the bad guy! lol the baddest guy you'll ever see!

    thanks for seeing it bro, but they want me to be the bad guy...


    Imagine the author... the fragile shell of a person she is now, diagnosed with anything related to obesity to pile on her. how will this help her as a human?
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
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    there is a difference between your doctor letting you know that you are unhealthy and should take steps to better yourself and just coming out and saying, well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill.

    well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill

    smh....

    cause thats what medical providers do????


    its what you did. your first reaction was that she is disgusting and then you posted it. And I was replying to the post about a doctor being honest. They were saying that telling someone they are disgusting is honest and what a doctor should do. I was disagreeing with it.

    first things first..

    1. she isnt in my office or in front of me.
    2. if she was, her view of me is already tainted before i even open my mouth.

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