How disgusting is this...
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this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
Beautifully written. Heart-felt and sad. Not disgusting at all. You are a very narrow-minded person for thinking this is disgusting. Did someone say you are studying to be a PA? Perhaps you should rethink your field of study. You have to be compassionate in the healthcare industry. You sir, are NOT compassionate by any means.
absolutely laughable.
my job is to get the sick better not to make sure they are ok with childhood issues. compassion on a forum? get outta here.0 -
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The author of the essay is taking society's slightly neurotic obsession with being thin as an excuse to retreat into her own completely neurotic obsession with being fat. She turns a simple physical state into a badge of identity and honor.
Lines about not wanting to deny the abused little girl she was anything cross the line from evidence of psychological damage to fetishistic self pity. She is a grown woman now. She should make responsible choices rather than resorting to whiny "Think of the children" arguments and applying them to herself.
She says things like this: "There’s always a former Miss Lonelyheart, a thirtysomething virgin who — after a gastric bypass or militant adherence to the Paleo diet — has shed half her body weight and is finally ready for Mr. Right. I’ve no doubt that they really do feel healthier and happier, and honestly (truly) good for them. I just wish that the entirety of their lives weren’t reduced to a single achievement."
Just look at that last sentence. She thinks that weight is such a huge deal that people view weight loss as the main achievement of their lives. NO ONE THINKS LIKE THIS. Except her because she is completely obsessed with weight.
There is not a single remotely rational or healthy sentiment expressed in this entire essay. She is a very sick woman.
^^^ this0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
Beautifully written. Heart-felt and sad. Not disgusting at all. You are a very narrow-minded person for thinking this is disgusting. Did someone say you are studying to be a PA? Perhaps you should rethink your field of study. You have to be compassionate in the healthcare industry. You sir, are NOT compassionate by any means.
absolutely laughable.
my job is to get the sick better not to make sure they are ok with childhood issues. compassion on a forum? get outta here.
My sister is 9 months away from her Psychiatric NP license. She is all about healing the sick. Perhaps you should take a couple more psychology classes to getting a better understanding of the way people act/react to life events.0 -
She says it's great that people who lose weight feel good about themselves, but that their lives should not be summed up by one accomplishment. I agree...but I have worked harder to lose this weight than I have at any other goal in my life. I have other accomplishments, and in their context I am proud of those things.
This... sort of!
This is not the hardest thing I have ever worked for or done. It is one of the best, though. I love knowing I did something awesome when I get dressed every morning. I'm still in awe of what I've accomplished. I think it's awesome I just graduated junior college and got into my dream school, but I don't think about it every day. I think about my weight loss every day. I relish all of the things I can do.
Also, it requires little effort to talk about my weight loss. It speaks for itself. For other accomplishments, I have to tell others and hope they care.0 -
Something that I read the other day that the author of this article may or may not identify with.
After all, there's two sides to every penny. With her acceptance there must come a side of remorse.TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES.
If you were going to take a walk in my shoes, then I do not envy you.
For you would be stuck in a maze with no exit, trapped within walls that would even make the greatest escape artists claustrophobic.
And at your feet you would see that the ‘shoes’ you wear are not even there, for you walk bare across shatter glass, cutting you deep by each step you take. Reflections of these broken fragments show you in what you once believed in, now destroyed by a series of unfortunate events acting a hammer.
If you were going to take a walk in my shoes, I suggest that you bring a flashlight, but I doubt that it will help. As the darkness that surrounds you is no where comparative to the darkness you would feel within, consuming at your heart.
I promise you, you would not last a second in my shoes. Not with the demons that walk beside me everyday. If you were going to take a walk in my shoes, I would not allow you. No one deserves this pain I feel inside.0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
Beautifully written. Heart-felt and sad. Not disgusting at all. You are a very narrow-minded person for thinking this is disgusting. Did someone say you are studying to be a PA? Perhaps you should rethink your field of study. You have to be compassionate in the healthcare industry. You sir, are NOT compassionate by any means.
absolutely laughable.
my job is to get the sick better not to make sure they are ok with childhood issues. compassion on a forum? get outta here.
My sister is 9 months away from her Psychiatric NP license. She is all about healing the sick. Perhaps you should take a couple more psychology classes to getting a better understanding of the way people act/react to life events.
i am bound for surgery hun. not psychiatric work.
thats like asking your mechanic to be more sensitive with your cars feelings.0 -
I'm afraid I didn't have much sympathy with the writer of the article. She had a bad childhood? So did so many others including myself. I'd probably have considered the childhood she had a trade up from what I had when I was young. To use a bad childhood as an excuse and reason to "rage against the system", to "stick it to the man", for self destructive or for self defeating behaviour isn't something I find admirable in anyone. I firmly believe in using all the rage and anger into being the best you can be in all aspects of your life and that includes being as healthy as it is possible to be.
To be honest reading the article actually made me quite angry. The writer acts as if having a difficult past is a get out of jail free card for current behaviour however misguided or wrong it might be. No it damn aint.0 -
What a beautifully written, heart breaking story. She can choose whatever she wants. Not sure why anyone else would care?
^^^^^^^^^^AGREE...AGREE....AGREE...AGREE...AGREE....AGREE....AGREE...AGREE....^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Would you say the same thing to someone that chose to end their own life?
I mean, by this logic, why is assisted suicide socially unacceptable, but somehow, ignoring the fact that you eat to deal with your emotions is okay and an acceptable choice one can make for themselves.
Lol I think you need to back up for a sec. All we know about the writer's CURRENT eating habits is that she sometimes eats grilled cheese sandwiches and sometimes eats kale. Pretty sure that doesn't give you any insight into whether or not she's eating her emotions.0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
Beautifully written. Heart-felt and sad. Not disgusting at all. You are a very narrow-minded person for thinking this is disgusting. Did someone say you are studying to be a PA? Perhaps you should rethink your field of study. You have to be compassionate in the healthcare industry. You sir, are NOT compassionate by any means.
absolutely laughable.
my job is to get the sick better not to make sure they are ok with childhood issues. compassion on a forum? get outta here.
My sister is 9 months away from her Psychiatric NP license. She is all about healing the sick. Perhaps you should take a couple more psychology classes to getting a better understanding of the way people act/react to life events.
I'm sorry... but how exactly does the OP expressing his opinion on a public forum correlate to him not having compassion.
He did not express his opinion to this woman directly, and any good psychologist knows better than to share their personal opinion with their patients.
Just because his opinion and choice of descriptive word does not match your own does not mean that he is not compassionate. If he had titled his post with "How sad is this..." the whole conversation would have went in an entirely different direction. He is entitled to be disgusted by this woman's entitlement attitude.
"The world was mean to me so I'm entitled to be fat if I want to. Fat makes me feel better."
And because disgust was his immediate reaction, he has been crucified in this thread. It's damn ridiculous if you ask me.0 -
I would say at such a young age - she is still coping with that childhood.
My favorite talk about this... http://on.ted.com/PeterAttia
I am in healthcare. I see the judgements passed on patients - how the staff thinks they'd do something about whatever if it was them. I can tell you they probably wouldn't. I've taken care of so many patients who don't change - regardless of what they need to change. I see lung cancer survivors that still smoke. Emphysema patients wishing for their last cigarette as they are drawing a last breath. Dialysis patients who skip dialysis and still won't be compliant with a renal diet. I had cocaine addicts I saw weekly when they overdid it. They all made their own choices. I've also seen the people through their own personal choices committed risky behavior and ended up in the hospital (no helmet/seatbelt etc). We take care of them the same.
I made a point to not judge. We all have our own crosses to bear and we all have a bad habit we should improve. It doesn't mean we ever will. I gently suggest to my patients what they need to do. I tried to relate to them. I tried to point out the damage they could cause - but not make it into a lecture so I wouldn't be tuned out.
And I understand coming from a childhood so damaging that it takes half your life to overcome enough of it to feel okay with life. She is a broken person coping. It's taken me into my 40's to feel okay to just be me. It may take her just as long. The weight is a side effect of her coping. Fixing the weight will probably just create a situation where she seeks another damaging way to cope.
I once had a room mate that had been obese - and gained control of it. She excelled in her new found energy - and the coping was just displaced into an addiction to crank (her weight loss secret) and OCD housekeeping - literally meltdowns over misplaced wash rags.0 -
It seems that most people here who don't agree with her are viewing her as the doctor or other people would. They don't look at her side of the story and understand the struggle that all that weight has helped her get through. Of course, she won't be healthy the way that we think healthy is; small, controlled weight, not gasping for breath... and we shouldn't define people by the way they look. I wish I can say the same for me, and I think that's something that I'm working on.
For me...that's not the case. From the doctor's standpoint, she should be fine. She is (apparently) keeping an eye on her cholesterol/blood pressure.
What *I* find a problem with is her attitude. A "shield of fat"? Fat providing "distance" from the world? I get that. I understand where those thoughts come from. And I would never judge a person for having those feelings. But the way she is "accepting" these feelings...is sad. Because she's not really accepting herself. It seems more like defiance, not acceptance. Like the rebellious teenager who gets a mohawk simply because his mother is conservative, not because he likes mohawks. There is a HUGE difference in motivation there.
She's been through a lot. That's terrible. I feel for her. If she were on MFP (or at a party, or in my living room) I would sympathize with her...that sucks. That is no way to grow up. And I'm sure she has a lot of things to work through from such a horrific childhood. But I have a hard time when people use situations as a crutch. I have read so many stories of people here who have overcome huge obstacles to get healthy. I know so many people elsewhere who have come from worse situations, and you'd never know - because they learned to be strong from their trials. They went through so much...and then so much more to heal.
She's not healing. She's making her issues a badge of honor.
She blames her body for everything - for people not liking her...for her doctors' attitudes...for everything. So she's decided to take this body and shove it in everyone's faces. Because if it's her choice to be big, then she is not a failure. I'm sorry, but that's wrong. You cannot just decide one day that you love this body you've hated forever. And the comments she makes show that she is not happy with her body. She's just telling everyone she is...
I have a friend who is morbidly obese, and she is one of the sexiest, most vibrant people I know. She is not campaigning for "fat acceptance"...and is not actively trying to lose weight. She is just honestly happy with who she is, and in her own body. I wish she were healthier, but this is her choice. She carries herself with confidence and grace -- and she is beautiful. She doesn't down me for trying to lose weight, and I don't give her a hard time for not jumping on the bandwagon.
That's my other problem with this lady...she is judging those of us who are losing. Saying we are conforming to society, and how terrible that is for us. And talking about how we're 90% likely to gain back what we've lost. She's just as judgmental as she's accusing everyone else of being. Like we're weak for getting healthy.
I don't know. Its just sad to me. And has nothing to do with her size. Just her attitude. :-/
So well said. I completely agree with this. I think that, as women, we feel constantly judged by society and trying to 'measure up to expectations'. When any person has confidence in themselves, regardless of size, it is to be completely applauded. This story however, doesn't speak of confidence. It tells us a heartbreaking story of a woman who needed to stay small and unnoticed as a child, and is rebelling against that as an adult. Unfortunately, the medical professionals in her life are concentrating on the damage they can see, and not on the internal damage.
For TotalSham (OP) - I think people are being a bit harsh on him. From what I can tell, he's disgusted with how her life has lead her to accept that the road she is on will lead her to an unhealthy and shortened life. By her going back and looking up other articles the author has posted, it seems that he does actually want to know the person and understand the full story.0 -
Would you say the same thing to someone that chose to end their own life?
I mean, by this logic, why is assisted suicide socially unacceptable, but somehow, ignoring the fact that you eat to deal with your emotions is okay and an acceptable choice one can make for themselves.
Lol I think you need to back up for a sec. All we know about the writer's CURRENT eating habits is that she sometimes eats grilled cheese sandwiches and sometimes eats kale. Pretty sure that doesn't give you any insight into whether or not she's eating her emotions.
Let me highlight a few finer points of the article that you obviously didn't read or didn't comprehend.I’d packed on the pounds as a neglected child whose father passed out when his rage was spent, whose mother was petrified to move, to wake him. I was a little girl whose dinners always went cold. So I enacted a kid’s version of nourishment, swallowing fistfuls of Cheese-Its and pulling the cheese off left-over pizza. I took that lead-bellied feeling of fullness for actual satisfaction. I binged because I was frenzied with need. If I didn’t sink my teeth into something — anything — I wouldn’t know I was alive.Gaining weight opened me up for heartache in all the expected ways; it also armored me. I was never going to fit in with girls who could hold slumber parties at their houses, girls whose fathers ran out for pizza and sodas (then disappeared to the den), girls who’d expect to be invited back to my house in return. My body sheathed me in distance.
How do you not recognize an eating disorder in these statements?0 -
Agreed....but that's MFP for you....a lot of people here want to crucify anyone who dares to say anything like the OP did.I'm sorry... but how exactly does the OP expressing his opinion on a public forum correlate to him not having compassion.
He did not express his opinion to this woman directly, and any good psychologist knows better than to share their personal opinion with their patients.
Just because his opinion and choice of descriptive word does not match your own does not mean that he is not compassionate. If he had titled his post with "How sad is this..." the whole conversation would have went in an entirely different direction. He is entitled to be disgusted by this woman's entitlement attitude.
"The world was mean to me so I'm entitled to be fat if I want to. Fat makes me feel better."
And because disgust was his immediate reaction, he has been crucified in this thread. It's damn ridiculous if you ask me.
He's made a lot of good points, but unfortunately, a lot of people don't want to hear them....they'd rather stick their heads in the sand...0 -
shes only has healthy blo0d work cause she is 23.... that wont last long id she doesnt change her eating habits.
I have healthy blood work at 43... so it's not just age.0 -
Would you say the same thing to someone that chose to end their own life?
I mean, by this logic, why is assisted suicide socially unacceptable, but somehow, ignoring the fact that you eat to deal with your emotions is okay and an acceptable choice one can make for themselves.
Lol I think you need to back up for a sec. All we know about the writer's CURRENT eating habits is that she sometimes eats grilled cheese sandwiches and sometimes eats kale. Pretty sure that doesn't give you any insight into whether or not she's eating her emotions.
Let me highlight a few finer points of the article that you obviously didn't read or didn't comprehend.I’d packed on the pounds as a neglected child whose father passed out when his rage was spent, whose mother was petrified to move, to wake him. I was a little girl whose dinners always went cold. So I enacted a kid’s version of nourishment, swallowing fistfuls of Cheese-Its and pulling the cheese off left-over pizza. I took that lead-bellied feeling of fullness for actual satisfaction. I binged because I was frenzied with need. If I didn’t sink my teeth into something — anything — I wouldn’t know I was alive.Gaining weight opened me up for heartache in all the expected ways; it also armored me. I was never going to fit in with girls who could hold slumber parties at their houses, girls whose fathers ran out for pizza and sodas (then disappeared to the den), girls who’d expect to be invited back to my house in return. My body sheathed me in distance.
How do you not recognize an eating disorder in these statements?
1) People can overeat and binge without having an eating disorder. Unless she specifically stated that she had BED, I'm not going to assume anything.
2) Even if she did have BED, there are still no clues that she's given about her current life that tell you if she's recovered from it, if she's taking steps to recover for it, or if she's still struggling to live with it.0 -
shes only has healthy blo0d work cause she is 23.... that wont last long id she doesnt change her eating habits.
I have healthy blood work at 43... so it's not just age.
She's also not 23. She's in her 30s. Just need to point that out.0 -
It seems that most people here who don't agree with her are viewing her as the doctor or other people would. They don't look at her side of the story and understand the struggle that all that weight has helped her get through. Of course, she won't be healthy the way that we think healthy is; small, controlled weight, not gasping for breath... and we shouldn't define people by the way they look. I wish I can say the same for me, and I think that's something that I'm working on.
For me...that's not the case. From the doctor's standpoint, she should be fine. She is (apparently) keeping an eye on her cholesterol/blood pressure.
What *I* find a problem with is her attitude. A "shield of fat"? Fat providing "distance" from the world? I get that. I understand where those thoughts come from. And I would never judge a person for having those feelings. But the way she is "accepting" these feelings...is sad. Because she's not really accepting herself. It seems more like defiance, not acceptance. Like the rebellious teenager who gets a mohawk simply because his mother is conservative, not because he likes mohawks. There is a HUGE difference in motivation there.
She's been through a lot. That's terrible. I feel for her. If she were on MFP (or at a party, or in my living room) I would sympathize with her...that sucks. That is no way to grow up. And I'm sure she has a lot of things to work through from such a horrific childhood. But I have a hard time when people use situations as a crutch. I have read so many stories of people here who have overcome huge obstacles to get healthy. I know so many people elsewhere who have come from worse situations, and you'd never know - because they learned to be strong from their trials. They went through so much...and then so much more to heal.
She's not healing. She's making her issues a badge of honor.
She blames her body for everything - for people not liking her...for her doctors' attitudes...for everything. So she's decided to take this body and shove it in everyone's faces. Because if it's her choice to be big, then she is not a failure. I'm sorry, but that's wrong. You cannot just decide one day that you love this body you've hated forever. And the comments she makes show that she is not happy with her body. She's just telling everyone she is...
I have a friend who is morbidly obese, and she is one of the sexiest, most vibrant people I know. She is not campaigning for "fat acceptance"...and is not actively trying to lose weight. She is just honestly happy with who she is, and in her own body. I wish she were healthier, but this is her choice. She carries herself with confidence and grace -- and she is beautiful. She doesn't down me for trying to lose weight, and I don't give her a hard time for not jumping on the bandwagon.
That's my other problem with this lady...she is judging those of us who are losing. Saying we are conforming to society, and how terrible that is for us. And talking about how we're 90% likely to gain back what we've lost. She's just as judgmental as she's accusing everyone else of being. Like we're weak for getting healthy.
I don't know. Its just sad to me. And has nothing to do with her size. Just her attitude. :-/
I have to agree completely with this. On one hand I like the fact that the woman is speaking out against being defined by her weight as I do feel that society tends to do to obese people. If she wants to get out of the "rat race" that losing weight can be, then fine, she's entitled to do so and I agree with her decision, even if it is one I will not take. However, her article sounds very bitter which means she's isn't happy at all. To her anyone who tries to help is against her and judging her. yet she has passed judgement on everyone else. She had made broad generalizations claiming that losing weight becomes that person's sole achievement or the sole achievement they get recognized for. IMO, I disagree with that. Would you say that losing weight is Peter Jackson's sole achievement? No way? or Drew Carey's? Losing weight for me is only one of my achievements.
She has accepted her "fat shield" and that is more sad than disgusting. A fat shield is a way to push people away, to never have a level of intimacy with another. If someone doesn't like her she can just chalk it up to them judging her about her weight not because her abusive father's words could actually be true. I'm not saying his words are true, I'm saying that in her mind she may feel his words are true so she has found a way to block it and redirect it toward the fat. A fat shield prevents people from coming in who need to help her as well. FU skinny therapist, FU team of doctors, FU woot woot lady! lol! It's like she only wants help from people who co-sign her damage and that's not help at all.
Like you, I know some obese ladies who do not care to lose weight, they find men who like big women and live their lives happy. But she doesn't sound happy overall. She sounds like a judgmental hypocrite more than anything. But yeah.0 -
shes only has healthy blo0d work cause she is 23.... that wont last long id she doesnt change her eating habits.
I have healthy blood work at 43... so it's not just age.
there is a bell curve. some last longer than others. also the author became overweight from 7 on.... slightly became thinner at college... and then gained it all back. safe to say 70%+ of her life was obese.
your story can be totally different, which leads to different outcomes.0 -
there are so many fantastic comments here! i want to read them all and i just don't have the time.0
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It seems that most people here who don't agree with her are viewing her as the doctor or other people would. They don't look at her side of the story and understand the struggle that all that weight has helped her get through. Of course, she won't be healthy the way that we think healthy is; small, controlled weight, not gasping for breath... and we shouldn't define people by the way they look. I wish I can say the same for me, and I think that's something that I'm working on.
For me...that's not the case. From the doctor's standpoint, she should be fine. She is (apparently) keeping an eye on her cholesterol/blood pressure.
What *I* find a problem with is her attitude. A "shield of fat"? Fat providing "distance" from the world? I get that. I understand where those thoughts come from. And I would never judge a person for having those feelings. But the way she is "accepting" these feelings...is sad. Because she's not really accepting herself. It seems more like defiance, not acceptance. Like the rebellious teenager who gets a mohawk simply because his mother is conservative, not because he likes mohawks. There is a HUGE difference in motivation there.
She's been through a lot. That's terrible. I feel for her. If she were on MFP (or at a party, or in my living room) I would sympathize with her...that sucks. That is no way to grow up. And I'm sure she has a lot of things to work through from such a horrific childhood. But I have a hard time when people use situations as a crutch. I have read so many stories of people here who have overcome huge obstacles to get healthy. I know so many people elsewhere who have come from worse situations, and you'd never know - because they learned to be strong from their trials. They went through so much...and then so much more to heal.
She's not healing. She's making her issues a badge of honor.
She blames her body for everything - for people not liking her...for her doctors' attitudes...for everything. So she's decided to take this body and shove it in everyone's faces. Because if it's her choice to be big, then she is not a failure. I'm sorry, but that's wrong. You cannot just decide one day that you love this body you've hated forever. And the comments she makes show that she is not happy with her body. She's just telling everyone she is...
I have a friend who is morbidly obese, and she is one of the sexiest, most vibrant people I know. She is not campaigning for "fat acceptance"...and is not actively trying to lose weight. She is just honestly happy with who she is, and in her own body. I wish she were healthier, but this is her choice. She carries herself with confidence and grace -- and she is beautiful. She doesn't down me for trying to lose weight, and I don't give her a hard time for not jumping on the bandwagon.
That's my other problem with this lady...she is judging those of us who are losing. Saying we are conforming to society, and how terrible that is for us. And talking about how we're 90% likely to gain back what we've lost. She's just as judgmental as she's accusing everyone else of being. Like we're weak for getting healthy.
I don't know. Its just sad to me. And has nothing to do with her size. Just her attitude. :-/
I have to agree completely with this. On one hand I like the fact that the woman is speaking out against being defined by her weight as I do feel that society tends to do to obese people. If she wants to get out of the "rat race" that losing weight can be, then fine, she's entitled to do so and I agree with her decision, even if it is one I will not take. However, her article sounds very bitter which means she's isn't happy at all. To her anyone who tries to help is against her and judging her. yet she has passed judgement on everyone else. She had made broad generalizations claiming that losing weight becomes that person's sole achievement or the sole achievement they get recognized for. IMO, I disagree with that. Would you say that losing weight is Peter Jackson's sole achievement? No way? or Drew Carey's? Losing weight for me is only one of my achievements.
She has accepted her "fat shield" and that is more sad than disgusting. A fat shield is a way to push people away, to never have a level of intimacy with another. If someone doesn't like her she can just chalk it up to them judging her about her weight not because her abusive father's words could actually be true. I'm not saying his words are true, I'm saying that in her mind she may feel his words are true so she has found a way to block it and redirect it toward the fat. A fat shield prevents people from coming in who need to help her as well. FU skinny therapist, FU team of doctors, FU woot woot lady! lol! It's like she only wants help from people who co-sign her damage and that's not help at all.
Like you, I know some obese ladies who do not care to lose weight, they find men who like big women and live their lives happy. But she doesn't sound happy overall. She sounds like a judgmental hypocrite more than anything. But yeah.
All of this!0 -
I think people missed the point of the article. The writer is not saying that it is ok to be obese or that she has given up of herself. What she is saying is that her weight does not define her. She is a POWERFUL human being and does not want to be refered to as a number on a scale. When she was in school she wanted to be recongized for her work not her size. She has made other accomplishments in her life and the ONLY thing people see is her size, which should not be important to others. She doesnt want her whole life to revolve around her waist line. I also think she is trying to tell others that she has other issues that have to be resolved like her childhood before she can really concure her weight.
People have a tendenacy to think the only reason people are fat is because they eat too much, especially former fat people which is sad. There are many different reasons people are fat medical problems. family history, self esteem and life experiences. None of us should be judging one another for WHY we are fat but encourage in a positve way. Negativity breads negativity.
In the end i dont think either poster or writer is disgusting but are looking at things from different point of views and should be more open minded.
For all of you who see an insecure person in this article they should really read it again. She is telling you that she is a powerful person who faced a lifetime of abuse. She will not let people that judge her stop her in life. Her life means more to her than just a number on the scale. so to me that is one STRONG PERSON. Good for her!!0 -
I think people missed the point of the article. The writer is not saying that it is ok to be obese or that she has given up of herself. What she is saying is that her weight does not define her. She is a POWERFUL human being and does not want to be refered to as a number on a scale. When she was in school she wanted to be recongized for her work not her size. She has made other accomplishments in her life and the ONLY thing people see is her size, which should not be important to others. She doesnt want her whole life to revolve around her waist line. I also think she is trying to tell others that she has other issues that have to be resolved like her childhood before she can really concure her weight.
People have a tendenacy to think the only reason people are fat is because they eat too much, especially former fat people which is sad. There are many different reasons people are fat medical problems. family history, self esteem and life experiences. None of us should be judging one another for WHY we are fat but encourage in a positve way. Negativity breads negativity.
In the end i dont think either poster or writer is disgusting but are looking at things from different point of views and should be more open minded.
For all of you who see an insecure person in this article they should really read it again. She is telling you that she is a powerful person who faced a lifetime of abuse. She will not let people that judge her stop her in life. Her life means more to her than just a number on the scale. so to me that is one STRONG PERSON. Good for her!!
Bim bam zam. + Fiftybajillion cool points because you get it.0 -
My heart breaks for this woman, especially as someone who, though I had great parents and a much easier upbringing, is all too familiar with being told exactly what she isn't and never will be. I'm very familiar with tip toeing around and apologizing for existing or needing anything. I think most women are familiar with feeling like who or what they are is not enough, or that they have to compromise themselves in order to have friends, a significant other, or any scrap of attention, because they have been told over and over that they don't deserve it. They aren't smart enough, or pretty enough, or special/talented in any way.
That said, being obese is not a personal choice that doesn't affect the people around you. Obesity is a major reason why as a healthy, active, 30 year old, I pay a ridiculous amount for health insurance. It is the main reason our insurance system is crumbling.
In general, our health is not a choice that only affects us. It affects our families, the people we care about, the employers who lose productivity (studies show obese employees call out sick more often), etc.
In my case, obesity, since being overweight has become the norm, has even affected my ability to buy clothing retail, since I am a short/smaller person. Most stores have now adjusted their sizes drastically enough to support the expanding waistlines of our society, that although I have been close to the same measurements for 7 years (and smaller for most of the time before that), I went from fitting into a 4 to having a 0 swim on me.
More to the point, this doesn't seem to me like a victory, it seems like someone who has, in fact, entirely given up on confronting and moving on from their emotional problems and traumatic past. I'm not talking about the weight... The weight, as the author admits, is a symptom of a much larger, more serious root issue, that will eventually be crippling in many ways if it is not dealt with. Getting rid of anyone who makes you take personal responsibility for your issues, and instead using them as a shell to prevent yourself from having to ever deal with the real world or people in it, isn't a victory, it's a defeat.0 -
I do think there is a difference between not letting people judge you and willfully ignoring constructive criticism under the guise of not letting people judge you.0
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I think people missed the point of the article. The writer is not saying that it is ok to be obese or that she has given up of herself. What she is saying is that her weight does not define her. She is a POWERFUL human being and does not want to be refered to as a number on a scale. When she was in school she wanted to be recongized for her work not her size. She has made other accomplishments in her life and the ONLY thing people see is her size, which should not be important to others. She doesnt want her whole life to revolve around her waist line. I also think she is trying to tell others that she has other issues that have to be resolved like her childhood before she can really concure her weight.
People have a tendenacy to think the only reason people are fat is because they eat too much, especially former fat people which is sad. There are many different reasons people are fat medical problems. family history, self esteem and life experiences. None of us should be judging one another for WHY we are fat but encourage in a positve way. Negativity breads negativity.
In the end i dont think either poster or writer is disgusting but are looking at things from different point of views and should be more open minded.
For all of you who see an insecure person in this article they should really read it again. She is telling you that she is a powerful person who faced a lifetime of abuse. She will not let people that judge her stop her in life. Her life means more to her than just a number on the scale. so to me that is one STRONG PERSON. Good for her!!
Exactly. I think people are just projecting their own insecurities and self-loathing onto her, assuming that she is just like them. For some reason, it's really hard to accept that she just might be happy with herself, even if she's--gasp--250 pounds. Importantly, she's not advocating obesity in any way, shape, or form. She's just taking a stand against ALWAYS being defined in terms of her weight.0 -
I'm surprised no one's commented on how absolutely delish the sandwich in the original article looks:
It does look good, mmmmm. That was funny!
I think her whole point is how much people "everyone" including myself focus on the triumph of weight loss as if that alone defines us as a person. Weight loss is a triumph as anyone who is on this campaign knows, but it's not the only thing that makes us who we are. I am going to have to try that sandwich one day. Wonder how many cals it is.0 -
For all of you who see an insecure person in this article they should really read it again. She is telling you that she is a powerful person who faced a lifetime of abuse. She will not let people that judge her stop her in life. Her life means more to her than just a number on the scale. so to me that is one STRONG PERSON. Good for her!!
Normally, I would agree with you, except that she specifically condemns people who celebrate their accomplishment of weight loss. The author seems to have a general disdain for any suggestion or implication that better health is a sensible reason to pursue weight loss. If she has perceived that no one has recognized her accomplishments because of her weight, that is assuredly a false perception that she has created from her own insecurities. You can not tell me that no one has ever told her that she has done a good job on anything other than what is perceived as a health or fitness-related activity. She is the one that focuses on her body because she has a poor body image.
I will say this much, it does seem as if she might be on the road to reconciling her body image issues, but she's not there. And the choices that she makes from this point on are entirely up to her.0 -
Exactly. I think people are just projecting their own insecurities and self-loathing onto her, assuming that she is just like them. For some reason, it's really hard to accept that she just might be happy with herself, even if she's--gasp--250 pounds. Importantly, she's not advocating obesity in any way, shape, or form. She's just taking a stand against ALWAYS being defined in terms of her weight.
I dont think anyone here is shooting her down over being happy. Im all for everyone enjoying life and living it to the fullest. I believe you have one shot at it and enjoy it while you can.
But to say people are projecting onto her is silly. She spelled out her feelings in numerous publications.
To say she is defined by her weight is the rose colored tints she is wearing through her writing. She damned her doctors and therapist for saying she should get healthy.
idk... just my 2 cents0 -
Exactly. I think people are just projecting their own insecurities and self-loathing onto her, assuming that she is just like them. For some reason, it's really hard to accept that she just might be happy with herself, even if she's--gasp--250 pounds. Importantly, she's not advocating obesity in any way, shape, or form. She's just taking a stand against ALWAYS being defined in terms of her weight.
I dont think anyone here is shooting her down over being happy. Im all for everyone enjoying life and living it to the fullest. I believe you have one shot at it and enjoy it while you can.
But to say people are projecting onto her is silly. She spelled out her feelings in numerous publications.
To say she is defined by her weight is the rose colored tints she is wearing through her writing. She damned her doctors and therapist for saying she should get healthy.
idk... just my 2 cents
I don't know, there are a lot of people on here saying that she can't actually be happy with herself and that she's just in denial. Sounds like projection, doesn't it? From their personal experience, they know that they weren't happy being fat, so Laura Bogart can't *really* be happy either.0
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