Fat-positive Feminism and Weight Loss
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what an interesting discussion, always wondered about this. i dont judge anyone for their size nd i HATE people judging me for mine, like thinking i am lazy, stupid, selfish or anything else just because i am obese. I am not these things. I am unhealthy though. lots of people claim 'health at every size' and if they r saying they are fit and well, then good for them. But I know myself, and this is just me, I have high blood pressure, terrible pains in my joints and back, get breathless really easy, chaffing, sleep apnoea and respiritory problems. And I have it on medical advice that this is all weight related. So i can only speak for myself.
I get a lot of hate off people, shouting at me even in the streets for my weight. Part of me wants to stamp that out because they should be respectful and kind. But part of me wants to address it by losing weight. Because I HATE it, can't take it, and this is one way to stop it.0 -
Herein lies the problem. You say you're not satisfied with less pay, yet you want to have your cake and eat it, too!! You have to choose: Earn a little money and have a loving family, or earn a lot of money and not have time to have a family because you work your *kitten* off. You can't have everything!!! I reiterate ; spoiled brat syndrome. Men have to work extremely hard for the 'pay increase' that they supposedly get (really, they just work more hours) and they have to sacrifice family time FOR that. Women should expect the same treatment, not better treatment.
Haha, okay. Way to belittle working moms. You're the reason why we need feminism, creating a false choice between "a loving family" and "earn a lot of money/working your *kitten* off." Gotta love the moralizing that has at its heart the super-gross implication that women are supposed to be responsible entirely responsible for child-raising. Last I heard that was a responsibility for both the mom and the dad, so why do you think the moms are the only ones who are supposed to be making and accepting that sacrifice?
Once again, my words were "Earn less money AND have a loving family, or earn a lot of money and not have time to have a family because you work your *kitten* off." .
Right there in black and white, so twisting words will not work too well when other people can see what I wrote.
Dads cannot work full time and spend ALL their time with their kids unless they work part time, so why should mothers get to work full time AND spend all their time with their children? It is impossible, so why should (as the poster I was replying to said) women have both when men can't have both either? You can't have your cake and eat it, please read properly before you reply next time.0 -
Herein lies the problem. You say you're not satisfied with less pay, yet you want to have your cake and eat it, too!! You have to choose: Earn a little money and have a loving family, or earn a lot of money and not have time to have a family because you work your *kitten* off. You can't have everything!!! I reiterate ; spoiled brat syndrome. Men have to work extremely hard for the 'pay increase' that they supposedly get (really, they just work more hours) and they have to sacrifice family time FOR that. Women should expect the same treatment, not better treatment.
Haha, okay. Way to belittle working moms. You're the reason why we need feminism, creating a false choice between "a loving family" and "earn a lot of money/working your *kitten* off." Gotta love the moralizing that has at its heart the super-gross implication that women are supposed to be responsible entirely responsible for child-raising. Last I heard that was a responsibility for both the mom and the dad, so why do you think the moms are the only ones who are supposed to be making and accepting that sacrifice?
Once again, my words were "Earn less money AND have a loving family, or earn a lot of money and not have time to have a family because you work your *kitten* off." .
Uh, just because you capitalize the AND doesn't mean there isn't a big OR in your sentence. It's the OR that makes it a choice. And I chose one from from the left side of the OR and one thing from the right. Try again, dear.0 -
Uh, just because you capitalize the AND doesn't mean there isn't a big OR in your sentence. It's the OR that makes it a choice. And I chose one from from the left side of the OR and one thing from the right. Try again, dear.
You honestly don't understand that you can't work 50+ hours a week (which is what is necessary to be a CEO, and then some) , and spend the same amount of time with your family? It is either less money and more family time, or more money and less family time.
It isn't rocket science.
I'm not saying men shouldn't raise children, I'm saying the men that DO have high flying careers do not raise their children. Why should it be different for women?
The post I am replying to is right there, you only have to read it to realise what I am referring to.0 -
I have not read all of this but FOR ANYONE HAVING A GO AT WORKING MOTHERS-
My mother worked long and hard when I was growing up. She did it to support us and also because she wanted to do things outside the home. She is not only a wonderful mother but a wonderful WOMAN and I admire her so much, for everything she does, and I admire how hard she worked to raise 7 children while also working. We are a VERY loving family, she was very present in all of my childhood, I never felt I missed out becuase she worked. She was in fact a real role model to us. I am not having a go at stay at home mothers, I am not commenting on them. I am commenting on working mothers... they can be just as good mothers as anyone other kind, sometimes better.
My mother earnt money, but this did not compromise her role a mother. She is wonderful. I totally disagree with anyone saying you cant have a loving family if you work. Motherhood is full time whether you work or not, so she actually had 2 jobs. As I say, love her so much.0 -
I have not read all of this but FOR ANYONE HAVING A GO AT WORKING MOTHERS-
No one is, quite the opposite, so please read all before replying to it.
You shouldn't have to pick between money and a family, but since these ladies are complaining they don't earn MORE money because of family, I am saying you are always going to have to sacrifice a piece of one. You can't have 100% + 100% because that is impossible, and to be a 'CEO' or whatever else, 100% is needed. You cannot have everything you want in life, you have to decide which is more important to you. And as women do we have that choice? Yes. Thus, no inequality.0 -
It's OK, I am quite sure what I said still stands, it is my sincerely held beleifs, maybe no one was questioning, but good to put it out there, how am so proud of my mother and everything. These wonderful, wonderful women!I have not read all of this but FOR ANYONE HAVING A GO AT WORKING MOTHERS-
No one is, quite the opposite, so please read all before replying to it.0 -
It's OK, I am quite sure what I said still stands, it is my sincerely held beleifs, maybe no one was questioning, but good to put it out there, how am so proud of my mother and everything. These wonderful, wonderful women!I have not read all of this but FOR ANYONE HAVING A GO AT WORKING MOTHERS-
No one is, quite the opposite, so please read all before replying to it.
For the record, I agree, and both my mother and grandmother were working mothers. I never said otherwise, but sometimes people twist words to suits their own agenda, it is unfortunate.0 -
I'm usually a lurker here, don't often comment. I just wanted to say thank you to the original op for starting this discussion and thank you to all you strong feminist women out there of all shapes and sizes for the thoughtful commentary. I'm a petite, fit person who has never been overweight, the only time I've ever weighed more than 125 lb was when I got to 138 nine months pregnant. I was aware of my own negative self-talk and self-image, but these comments really helped put it in perspective. The one thing that seems to be helpful to me is to focus on what is healthy and makes me feel good rather than focus on what others see. That is the mantra I repeat to myself, but it is definitely easier said than done.0
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No inequality? Wow, as a man, it is great to find out that you women don't have sexism to deal with anymore at all. I hope racism, homophobia, ablism etc will soon be entirely eradicated in the same way. That's a real weight off my shoulders.0
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Hi there! I consider myself fat-positive (although not a feminist, I do hold some feminist ideals)
And I think the whole fat-positive thing is about being happy with yourself no matter what size you are BUT if you are unhappy then go for it! You can still be fat-positive by supporting other people
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No inequality? Wow, as a man, it is great to find out that you women don't have sexism to deal with anymore at all. I hope racism, homophobia, ablism etc will soon be entirely eradicated in the same way. That's a real weight off my shoulders.
Yeah, we're living in a post-everything society. Welcome to the future.
I like to imagine the equivalent of "I'm not a feminist at ALL. But..."
It goes something like this:
"I do not believe in the equality of all races."
"I am kind of a homophobe."
...
Brother Clayton Bigsby, anyone?0 -
So loving your body as it is makes you a feminist eh?
By this definition the bald, 500 lb men wearing a barely noticeable underwear at the beach are all feminist.
No, no, you have it wrong. Only women can use being a feminist as an excuse to be fat.
Those guys are just fat men.
/feminist rhetoric
Great, the MRAs have found this site <sarcasm>0 -
In to read later0
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No inequality? Wow, as a man, it is great to find out that you women don't have sexism to deal with anymore at all. I hope racism, homophobia, ablism etc will soon be entirely eradicated in the same way. That's a real weight off my shoulders.
Yeah, we're living in a post-everything society. Welcome to the future.
I like to imagine the equivalent of "I'm not a feminist at ALL. But..."
It goes something like this:
"I do not believe in the equality of all races."
"I am kind of a homophobe."
...
Brother Clayton Bigsby, anyone?
Ha ha, it truelly is wonderful living in this enlightened society
I think there is an interesting point about the different ways that men and women are 'punished' by society for being obese. To be sure, BOTH encounter it, but slightly differently. I would say women get the worse deal because women are much more judged on their appearence, like their whole worthwhile is based on it some crap. I do think there are some bad stuff about being an obese man. like people assume you won't be offended or sensitive about it or anything. But women have it worse. Women kind of always have it harder because it is an extra barrier to overcome, people's attitudes and assessment of you. Ohdear, it looks like equality hasn't arrived after all
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This is ridiculous. Fat acceptance, or whatever you want to call it, is not a feminist issue. Girls being forced to marry and bear children before they're into their teens is a feminist issue. Girls being denied access to education is a feminist issue. Women being stoned for being raped is a feminist issue. Women who are criticized for working after having children, or for NOT working after having children, is a feminist issue. Any time a woman is denied a basic civil right based on her gender is a feminist issue. Choosing to be overweight is NOT a feminist issue. Get your priorities straight.
Societal pressure to look a certain way for females is most definitely a feminist issue. We can't go topless legally in most places. There are debates about whether or not we can breast feed in public. The "ideal image" for females is to be small, quiet, and submissive to the male gaze, the male will. People exist who actually think it's unhygienic for us to not shave our armpits, while nobody second-guesses a man if he walks around with enough hair under there to make a little coat for a sheared sheep. How does weight not tie into that? Female bodies have social laws exerted over them all the time. Shave, cover up, wear makeup, be slim (but with the butt and boobs of a fatter girl), be light-skinned, be this, be that. Even overweight female to male trans* people have reported a completely more positive change in how they are treated as a fat male vs when they were perceived as a fat female. Not every feminist issue is related to a concrete law or right. Sexism is not just something that exists in neat little blocks. It spans throughout our entire culture and seeps into everything we do, see, and hear.
Well said! Like a previous poster I'm quoting and highlighting just in case anyone missed.0 -
I think this is a whole to each and their own topic? I love my fat self and I have also loved my skinny self, but at the same time I love loosing weight and setting/completing goals. I don't think being a feminist has anything to really do with choosing to be more fit or not, I'm not loosing weight for a man let alone for society. I'm doing it for health reasons (diabetes is huge in my family). Women and men just have to learn to be happy with who they are fat or not. If youre not happy then change something to make yourself happy. I wouldn't say I'm fat positive, I'm people positive def - good for you if your being who you really are and are happy doing it. (as long as its legal
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This. Especially in the 3rd to last paragraph. "spoiled brat syndrome" I'm old enough to remember when women could NOT work outside the home, when we had no choice but to have kids or there was something wrong with us, not being able to buy something on credit w/o my husband and having jokes made by the male bank worker when my husband put me on HIS bank account. When I turned 21 someone shook my hand and said, "Happy Birthday! Your free white and 21. It's just to damn bad your a woman" and the men there laughed. Most of you complaining have absolutely no idea what your talking about. I reference this woman's very well informed post.
Yes - and there was a time when women couldn't vote.
Were we spoiled when we asked for more????
I think the technical term would be "uppity." Some people confuse constructive progress for resolution.0 -
Hello all,
I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.
Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?
Thanks for your thoughts!
Maybe it's time to just 'be' and worry about labels later. Whether your desire to lose weight stems from society's pressures or your desire to get healthy, I think it's more important that you are YOU-positive. 0 -
Yes - and there was a time when women couldn't vote.
Were we spoiled when we asked for more????
No, but we are now.
That time has passed!
It's time to be grateful for what we HAVE achieved, which is quite a lot, not beg for an easy ride in every other aspect. We aren't victims, and we CAN do things for ourselves, so why should everyone else pick up the pieces? If all you 'feminists' truly did believe in feminism, you wouldn't need to campaign for all these things, you would just sort it for yourself, not expect everyone else to do it for you.But the mere fact that women CHOOSE to have children should not prevent them from having equal opportunity to rise in status.
Herein lies the problem. You say you're not satisfied with less pay, yet you want to have your cake and eat it, too!! You have to choose: Earn a little money and have a loving family, or earn a lot of money and not have time to have a family because you work your *kitten* off. You can't have everything!!! I reiterate ; spoiled brat syndrome. Men have to work extremely hard for the 'pay increase' that they supposedly get (really, they just work more hours) and they have to sacrifice family time FOR that. Women should expect the same treatment, not better treatment.How about mammograms? Wellness check ups? Cervical check ups? Procedures that weren't - until recently - offered under the same costs in an insurance plan? Or that many of the nations providers for such services are currently under fire? (Planned Parenthood, for example.)
Since I am not American I cannot answer the specifics on this, and hopefully someone can. As for Planned Parenthood - As a 'feminist' you should be in control of your body, meaning the government has no say in it - fair enough. That also means taking care not to get pregnant if you don't want to, and don't expect the government to foot the bill for YOUR birth control or YOUR irresponsibility. I am talking purely financially here, because this is not turning into an abortion debate on my account.That being said, a woman who goes to report sexual assault is often branded a liar. Or called into question because she's previously had sex. (I'm 32 years old. I've had lots of sex. LOOOTTSSS of sex. That doesn't mean I want to be assaulted.) One in every 3 women will be sexually assaulted, often more than once.
For that - as proved - you can blame other women that DO take the seriousness away and lie about these things. That isn't mens fault, or the governments fault, it is the fault of women that lie. Women need to take responsibility to be in charge of what they do, and when they LIE about something so bad, the consequence will fall on genuine women.But I am called one. No woman should be. No man should be.
No one here called you a slut, and nothing referenced has said anything about anyone being a slut. The only people that get branded as sluts are people that openly look for attention regarding to their sexual lives. If you slept with a million men, your decision, but why feel the need to tell anyone else? It's meant to be personal. You can't expect the world to go easy on you just because you think it is ok, that's a very naive view. If feminism now means the power to sleep with a fifty, ten, or a hundred men, then our ancestors wasted a lot of time.
Anyway, I think I have made my point for today, and that is, most sane women don't want the government, men or anyone else to take care of and make excuses for the hard parts of their lives for them, we will do it ourselves. True feminism is not wanting everyone to pander to you and your ideals, and let you do whatever you want, and feminism also isn't an excuse to do ANYTHING you want, and lose all decorum. It often is used as one, and it is things like this that make me detest what 'feminism' now is. True feminists that fought for EQUAL rights that we HAVE today would be turning in their graves to think of what victims women want to be now.
I..I...wut?
I'm just speechless. I need to go lay down. :sick:
Wanted to just quote clips but too nauseated to think right now.0
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