Give people REALLY bad advice!!!

JasonT1973
JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
I have been going through the forums today and there is ALOT of bad advice.

I KNOW some of it is humor but some of it I think people actually believe!

Lets start a thread of seriously BAD ADVICE!! =)


I'll start us off: You should only eat 777 calories because 7 is a lucky number and 7777 calories would KILL you.
«13456789

Replies

  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    eat clean
    the paleo diet is valid science
    carbs are bad
    deprive yourself of the foods you love in order to lose weight
    try crossfit
    only lift those pink 3lb weights
    cauliflower is a great substitute for real foods
    everyone is different
    what works for one person might not work for another
    if your stomach is upset, you are allergic to gluten
    protein is overrated
    running is better for you than lifting weights

    (the above is a list of advice that you find on MFP, but which i consider to be bad)
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Make sure you always lick knives clean.
    Test how hot coffee is with your tongue.
    Get married.
  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
    Make sure you always lick knives clean.
    Test how hot coffee is with your tongue.
    Get married.

    LMAO!!!
  • Fiercely_Me
    Fiercely_Me Posts: 481 Member
    Soda and artificial sugar are demons. You will NOT loose weight consuming any of it.. If you want to loose weight, drink two gallons of water a day to flush out the fat. You will loose 10 pounds a day. Good luck with your weight loose journey!!



    ETA: I just saw a study in Get Swole magazine that 67% of people who drink soda get cancer. Don't do it!!
  • jdm_taco
    jdm_taco Posts: 999 Member
    eat clean
    the paleo diet is valid science
    carbs are bad
    deprive yourself of the foods you love in order to lose weight
    try crossfit
    only lift those pink 3lb weights
    cauliflower is a great substitute for real foods
    everyone is different
    what works for one person might not work for another
    if your stomach is upset, you are allergic to gluten
    protein is overrated
    running is better for you than lifting weights

    (the above is a list of advice that you find on MFP, but which i consider to be bad)


    lmao!!!
  • joe2626
    joe2626 Posts: 123 Member
    If bread gets stuck in the toaster, use a metal fork to coax it out.

    ...and if that doesn't work, take said fork and ram it into the mains power supply.





    Enjoy your toast.
  • eat clean
    the paleo diet is valid science
    carbs are bad
    deprive yourself of the foods you love in order to lose weight
    try crossfit
    only lift those pink 3lb weights
    cauliflower is a great substitute for real foods
    everyone is different
    what works for one person might not work for another
    if your stomach is upset, you are allergic to gluten
    protein is overrated
    running is better for you than lifting weights
    (the above is a list of advice that you find on MFP, but which i consider to be bad)

    riker.gif
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    eat clean
    the paleo diet is valid science
    carbs are bad
    deprive yourself of the foods you love in order to lose weight
    try crossfit
    only lift those pink 3lb weights
    cauliflower is a great substitute for real foods
    everyone is different
    what works for one person might not work for another
    if your stomach is upset, you are allergic to gluten
    protein is overrated
    running is better for you than lifting weights

    (the above is a list of advice that you find on MFP, but which i consider to be bad)

    Did you forget juicing, cleansing and green tea/green coffee/raspberry keystones being good and sugar and artificial sweeteners being the work of the devil?
  • swillybay
    swillybay Posts: 61 Member
    Always spell the word "lose" like this: "loose." It will make you look really smart. Don't lose weight. Loose weight. :tongue:
  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Soda and artificial sugar are demons. You will NOT loose weight consuming any of it.. If you want to loose weight, drink two gallons of water a day to flush out the fat. You will loose 10 pounds a day. Good luck with your weight loose journey!!

    cheers_zpse7965e93.gif
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    don't eat anything 3 hours before bed time



    fill up on water only to feel fuller
  • TribeHokie
    TribeHokie Posts: 711 Member
    Detoxes are legit. If you can do a 40 day water cleanse, you're basically Jesus and will be the master of weight loss.

    Go to UVA.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Sugar makes you fat and addicted
    Artificial sweeteners make you fat and addicted and die from poison
    Organic is more healthy than non-organic
    GMOs are an additive and will KILL YOU
    Click on all of BrainyBurro's threads and you will never be Rick Rolled
    Juicing is an adequate replacement of food for the long term
    Wheat Belly is a legit source of information
    No one has ever lost weight eating junk food
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    you can always believe Dr. Oz because he's a doctor.
  • Dont forgot... WOMEN SHOULD NOT LIFT you will become crazy bulky... think HULK
  • Yell sexual comments at women walking down the street - we secretly love it.
    Natural deodorants work.
    Don't worry about telling racist jokes in public, we totally eradicated racism.
    "Literally" means whatever you want!
    Low-fat cookies are essentially celery.
    GO HARD OR GO HOME.
    Anorexia is a great, fast way to lose weight. You can go back to eating any time you want, and with no long-term health consequences or psychological trauma.
    Women who don't exercise on their periods are whiny. Cramps are a myth.
    Never celebrate your little successes, it's all about the big win.
    "Family Guy" is funny and you should watch it.
  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
    Everyone trying to lose weight needs to go on the HCG diet immediately. It is healthy and beneficial...
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    If your bath water gets cold, always have a plugged in radio nearby to pull into the water to warm it up.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Believe in every thread taunto starts.

    Never listen to Sarauk2sf or Sidesteel or taso42

    Use super glue as a lube for coitus
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
    during 'relations' with a partner, call them by a different name to intensify the experience.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Don't lift heavy if you're a woman because it will make you look like a man

    Never take a cheat day

    Eat clean and you'll lose weight and avoid cancer

    Squats are bad for your knees

    Running will kill all your gainz
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    "don't stop" is always a good safe word.
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    a ghost is the reason you put on weight we all know they lifted the bad food to our mouths and made us eat it
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    ALWAYS post your relationship and family problems on MFP!!! Post every single details about it too!
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    "don't stop" is always a good safe word.

    "harder, faster, longer"
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
    Make sure you always lick knives clean.
    Test how hot coffee is with your tongue.
    Get married.


    That about sums up the worst advice possible!!!!!!! AHAHA
  • Groovyca2022
    Groovyca2022 Posts: 21,378 Member
    Always post how many calories you burn during sex..then eat back those cals.
  • Hestion
    Hestion Posts: 740 Member
    Ladies be sure to always tell us all about your TOM
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    If you're a woman, go to India



    (if you didn't get it then you should read more news)
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    eat clean
    the paleo diet is valid science
    carbs are bad
    deprive yourself of the foods you love in order to lose weight
    try crossfit
    only lift those pink 3lb weights
    cauliflower is a great substitute for real foods
    everyone is different
    what works for one person might not work for another
    if your stomach is upset, you are allergic to gluten
    protein is overrated
    running is better for you than lifting weights

    (the above is a list of advice that you find on MFP, but which i consider to be bad)
    You forgot the "drink the magic urine drops while starving yourself and you will lose weight safely"