A confession to the MFP Police

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  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    I can't speak for anyone but myself, of course, but it seems like the majority of the people who show up on these threads thinking they are about them or the other really knowledgeable people are likely not in the "mean people" variety. You may be straightforward, or funny, or a bit blunt, but I really don't think these threads are about you. I think these are more for those who don't tend to post much in the way of advice or information but just criticisms or mocking in some way of the OP. Can't name names, of course, so I'll just say that I don't think mean people threads are aimed at the majority but a very small but vocal minority.

    Perhaps you're right.

    There are a handful of real *kitten* hats on MFP, I mean the ones that have hijacked success threads, the ones that send PMs telling people that they deserved to get cancer because their diet isn't right, the ones that truly insult people, etc.

    They don't seem to last long though because they break the forum rules which tends to get them banned. Of course the forum rules also get people banned for silly gifs.

    I really wish they would clean it up a bit, and that everyone grow a bit thicker skin so the humor level would improve. Not going to happen though.

    This thread turned out to be pretty mild IMHO. At least so far.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Why can't you name names?

    Because I'm a goody two shoes and I think I'll get a strike or get the thread locked :sad: :brokenheart:

    I'm open to gossipy PM's and naming and shaming. I can keep a secret, honest :bigsmile:

    :laugh:

    Sorry no luck! There isn't anyone on here that I feel strongly enough about to gossip about. If I think someone is kind of a jerk, but they are funny or interesting, I keep them off ignore for the interesting factor. If I can tell that I would probably not want to read something a person says again because I expect it to be offensive but not funny, meaningful, or interesting, I just put 'em on ignore.

    I'd happily name names of the people I don't think are meant to be considered the "mean people" brigade but then you know. Process of elimination.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
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    Why can't you name names?

    Because I'm a goody two shoes and I think I'll get a strike or get the thread locked :sad: :brokenheart:

    I'm open to gossipy PM's and naming and shaming. I can keep a secret, honest :bigsmile:

    :laugh:

    Sorry no luck! There isn't anyone on here that I feel strongly enough about to gossip about. If I think someone is kind of a jerk, but they are funny or interesting, I keep them off ignore for the interesting factor. If I can tell that I would probably not want to read something a person says again because I expect it to be offensive but not funny, meaningful, or interesting, I just put 'em on ignore.

    I'd happily name names of the people I don't think are meant to be considered the "mean people" brigade but then you know. Process of elimination.

    Meanie :angry: :laugh:
  • mjharman
    mjharman Posts: 251 Member
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    GREAT POST! LOVE IT! Thanks! :heart:

    I think it is alright to give HELPFUL advice, but advice that is given in a mean-spirited way, that can be mistaken for BULLYING, and with the "I KNOW WHAT WILL WORK FOR YOU BECAUSE IT WORKED FOR ME" attitude is not needed nor wanted. NOR IS IT HELPFUL.

    Helpful advice is given gently, is merely a suggestion, and is not as "DO IT OR ELSE!"

    Anyway, since beginning this journey, I have not been able to eat those pop tarts...no matter how badly I want them...
    Perhaps when I reach my goal.
  • abtsdiet
    abtsdiet Posts: 39 Member
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    I have mixed feelings about this post. Sometimes " tough love" can be helpful.

    I have not experienced mean people here. But I am sure they are here.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    Hmm. Maybe knowledgeable posters should just stop trying to help. There appears to be a lot of resentment toward their efforts. That's sad.

    Maybe you "Knowledgeable Posters" should open your Doctors Office where people can come to you for your professional educated opinion. Where did you receive your MD Degree and License to Practice?

    Where did you?

    Since you ask, my college degree has nothing to do with the medical field therefore I do not offer any medical type of advice to anyone nor do I ask it of anyone online. I stick to the true professionals (MY DOCTORS).

    Are you aware that a doctor is not a dietician and not the best source of nutritional information?

    I am aware that, as a patient of the Veterans Administration, when asking my doctor these questions he set me up with the dieticians, physical therapist for a physical evaluation, cardiology, podiatry (due to foot disabilities), orthopedics (due to many other disabilities) and the weight management program. With all of the information obtained as a result of these examinations a plan was developed for me. I can assure you that the idiot MFP Police here who insist YOU HAVE TO INCLUDE RUNNING TO LOSE WEIGHT or YOU HAVE TO INCLUIDE WEIGHT LIFTING TO LOSE WEIGHT are clueless of individual situations and limitations. THAT IS FACT.

    Did your doctor suggest having a negative net daily calorie goal? Or confirm starvation mode?



    And you are right, anyone who says any type of exercise is required for weight loss is an idiot.

    To answer the question simply, the food I eat, the exercise I do and all associated information such as calories consumed, micros, calories burned and my weight are all reported daily to the weight management program and forwarded to my doctor. When they have concerns they do call me. They called when my exercise (walking being the only exercise I can do because of severe disabilities to all extremities and other problems) dropped significantly to ask why. When they learned I have a broken foot and was seen by a private doctor they obviously understood and requested the records to review the situation and called me back to tell me to follow the advice given by the private doctor and made me an appointment for reevaluation next week.

    Sounds like a great doctor. I am sure what your doing will work out in the long term.

    Thanks. Five months and 70 lbs. so far and 34 to go. The VA is very good if you ask for help and go through the process.

    This last is the key. There are way too many patients who are non-compliant with their plans. The VA is actually a decent system even though it doesn't match the outside healthcare. Their PACT model is the best thing to happen to healthcare in a long time.
  • reddcat
    reddcat Posts: 314 Member
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    OP, this cracked me up!!! Loved it!! (I did not read the several other pages of responses as I just wanted to enjoy the giggle you gave me).
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    So I have been thinking about this issue for an hour now. In summary, my feelings are: "If you feel the tone of my advice is rude and/or negates the advice I am giving, feel free to ignore it."
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I see a lot of 'boo, hiss, mean people' and "Oh, not those people!/not you!" Well what people? Can we get some clarification?

    I would say that a post whose only contribution seems to be to insult, condescend, belittle, or nitpick at the OP would fall into the Summer's Eve category. These people can be successful, unsuccessful, health nuts, IIFYM, doesn't matter. They overall aren't posting to provide information or help others but for the fun, to argue, inflate their egos, trolling, or as an outlet, or whatever, but it's not to try to help.

    Then there are lots who could probably be more tactful but don't really hurt anyone, just don't inspire the OP to send a FR.

    Then there are those who just try to answer the question and provide excellent information. They are usually successful and you can tell by their pictures.

    Then there are those who offer simple but accurate information and just give the basics to answer the question without much emotion or color. They probably don't get much thought about at all.

    Then there are the unicorn farters who also provide good information. They might not be as much fun but don't get yelled at when providing good information even when in disagreement with others.

    Then there are unicorn farters who tell OP whatever they want to hear and are as harmful as people being mean for the sake of it. I'm actually a strong believer that eating disorders can be partially blamed on the misinformation about how to eat properly and create a culture of all or nothing thinking.

    I'm sure I missed tons of little categories along the way. But you get the gist. And I'm rationalizing typing out this post on this topic since I'm forced living la vida sedentary for a while.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Meanie :angry: :laugh:

    :bigsmile:

    Hey, at least you know now that if you are one of the jerks, you are funny or interesting enough to be not hidden. :laugh:

    (Just joking--I don't think your posts have ever made me think anything negative.)
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options

    I see a lot of 'boo, hiss, mean people' and "Oh, not those people!/not you!" Well what people? Can we get some clarification?

    I would say that a post whose only contribution seems to be to insult, condescend, belittle, or nitpick at the OP would fall into the Summer's Eve category. These people can be successful, unsuccessful, health nuts, IIFYM, doesn't matter. They overall aren't posting to provide information or help others but for the fun, to argue, inflate their egos, trolling, or as an outlet, or whatever, but it's not to try to help.

    Then there are lots who could probably be more tactful but don't really hurt anyone, just don't inspire the OP to send a FR.

    Then there are those who just try to answer the question and provide excellent information. They are usually successful and you can tell by their pictures.

    Then there are those who offer simple but accurate information and just give the basics to answer the question without much emotion or color. They probably don't get much thought about at all.

    Then there are the unicorn farters who also provide good information. They might not be as much fun but don't get yelled at when providing good information even when in disagreement with others.

    Then there are unicorn farters who tell OP whatever they want to hear and are as harmful as people being mean for the sake of it. I'm actually a strong believer that eating disorders can be partially blamed on the misinformation about how to eat properly and create a culture of all or nothing thinking.

    I'm sure I missed tons of little categories along the way. But you get the gist. And I'm rationalizing typing out this post on this topic since I'm forced living la vida sedentary for a while.

    op7oup.jpg
  • Donald_Dozier_50
    Donald_Dozier_50 Posts: 395 Member
    Options
    Hmm. Maybe knowledgeable posters should just stop trying to help. There appears to be a lot of resentment toward their efforts. That's sad.

    Maybe you "Knowledgeable Posters" should open your Doctors Office where people can come to you for your professional educated opinion. Where did you receive your MD Degree and License to Practice?

    Where did you?

    Since you ask, my college degree has nothing to do with the medical field therefore I do not offer any medical type of advice to anyone nor do I ask it of anyone online. I stick to the true professionals (MY DOCTORS).

    Are you aware that a doctor is not a dietician and not the best source of nutritional information?

    I am aware that, as a patient of the Veterans Administration, when asking my doctor these questions he set me up with the dieticians, physical therapist for a physical evaluation, cardiology, podiatry (due to foot disabilities), orthopedics (due to many other disabilities) and the weight management program. With all of the information obtained as a result of these examinations a plan was developed for me. I can assure you that the idiot MFP Police here who insist YOU HAVE TO INCLUDE RUNNING TO LOSE WEIGHT or YOU HAVE TO INCLUIDE WEIGHT LIFTING TO LOSE WEIGHT are clueless of individual situations and limitations. THAT IS FACT.

    Did your doctor suggest having a negative net daily calorie goal? Or confirm starvation mode?



    And you are right, anyone who says any type of exercise is required for weight loss is an idiot.

    To answer the question simply, the food I eat, the exercise I do and all associated information such as calories consumed, micros, calories burned and my weight are all reported daily to the weight management program and forwarded to my doctor. When they have concerns they do call me. They called when my exercise (walking being the only exercise I can do because of severe disabilities to all extremities and other problems) dropped significantly to ask why. When they learned I have a broken foot and was seen by a private doctor they obviously understood and requested the records to review the situation and called me back to tell me to follow the advice given by the private doctor and made me an appointment for reevaluation next week.

    Sounds like a great doctor. I am sure what your doing will work out in the long term.

    Thanks. Five months and 70 lbs. so far and 34 to go. The VA is very good if you ask for help and go through the process.

    This last is the key. There are way too many patients who are non-compliant with their plans. The VA is actually a decent system even though it doesn't match the outside healthcare. Their PACT model is the best thing to happen to healthcare in a long time.

    Confession #12 - I use the VA because it, as a disabled Veteran is free. I do however also have Medicare because I am disabled AND private health insurance......... I also have private doctors for second opinions on anything I have concerns about who have concurred with everything regarding my weight loss plan. I use and trust the VA but as Ronald Regan said, "trust but verify".
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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[/img]

    My eyesight is too poor or your GIF is too small for me to feel properly mocked.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Options

    I see a lot of 'boo, hiss, mean people' and "Oh, not those people!/not you!" Well what people? Can we get some clarification?

    I would say that a post whose only contribution seems to be to insult, condescend, belittle, or nitpick at the OP would fall into the Summer's Eve category. These people can be successful, unsuccessful, health nuts, IIFYM, doesn't matter. They overall aren't posting to provide information or help others but for the fun, to argue, inflate their egos, trolling, or as an outlet, or whatever, but it's not to try to help.

    Then there are lots who could probably be more tactful but don't really hurt anyone, just don't inspire the OP to send a FR.

    Then there are those who just try to answer the question and provide excellent information. They are usually successful and you can tell by their pictures.

    Then there are those who offer simple but accurate information and just give the basics to answer the question without much emotion or color. They probably don't get much thought about at all.

    Then there are the unicorn farters who also provide good information. They might not be as much fun but don't get yelled at when providing good information even when in disagreement with others.

    Then there are unicorn farters who tell OP whatever they want to hear and are as harmful as people being mean for the sake of it. I'm actually a strong believer that eating disorders can be partially blamed on the misinformation about how to eat properly and create a culture of all or nothing thinking.

    I'm sure I missed tons of little categories along the way. But you get the gist. And I'm rationalizing typing out this post on this topic since I'm forced living la vida sedentary for a while.

    I feel shame because I'm probably going to spend the rest of the day thoroughly lodged in the first category. Oh well.

    rainbow-diagram-roygbiv.png
  • marleniap
    marleniap Posts: 120 Member
    Options
    I have no problem with people making suggestions. I know myself, that I didn't start to see weight loss until I logged what I ate. If I suggest a person log if they are not, and that makes me the MFP police, so be it.

    Congrats on your success!

    Thank you! I also have no problems giving and taking suggestions. Taking suggestions and learning different things is how I lost the weight. I am referring to people that are just mean and rude and make fun of other people because they do not know everything or they are trying and doing it all wrong. That's all. There are some mean people on here. And I am positive that you are not one of them!
  • RobynUnfiltered
    RobynUnfiltered Posts: 62 Member
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    All can say is You are a smart person, and thanks for sharing!:flowerforyou:
  • mjterp
    mjterp Posts: 655 Member
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    I LOVE YOU!!!

    I hope your weekend is as amazing as YOU are!!!

    :flowerforyou:
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
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[/img]

    My eyesight is too poor or your GIF is too small for me to feel properly mocked.

    I changed it but I'm on my phone so it took ages to do :heart:
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I feel shame because I'm probably going to spend the rest of the day thoroughly lodged in the first category. Oh well.

    rainbow-diagram-roygbiv.png

    As long as you don't later try to claim that you are never mean and people just don't like to hear that they are wrong, works for me! :flowerforyou:
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    ron_cares.gif

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