Why all the negativity???Where is the Motivation?

Amen sister. I agree, lately there is a lot of sarcasm, and general snottiness. Just because someone asks for tips on eating, because they are new, or struggling to fix an issue, or disagree with a tactic, it doesn't give the replying person the right to be condescending in their answer. If your sick of newbie questions or repetitive ones, or even common sense ones, don't answer it or let the next "expert" handle it hopefully with some diplomacy. I think the "fun" boards and the cavalier attitude there tends to bleed into the other boards where people are seriously looking for help, not a snappy, "well Duh", sort of reply. I never ask a question on the main boards anymore and rely on my friends on my list, or a group I've joined, or the search engine on here for those very reasons.

I want the "bullies" to stick around. This place is far more entertaining because of it.

unfortunately thats really all the forum is good for, entertainment.

I've got a serious question. if you are thinking that an internet forum is not for you, then why post that you are thinking of staying away from the boards? Seems a bit dramatic and unnecessary, in my opinion.

Also, I recommend that if these forums are too much for you to handle that 1) it may be you needing to not focus so much on the supposed tone of said disagreement/post and 2) don't go on other forums, like for gaming. They make MFP look so tame.

And finally...disagreeing =/= negativity.


For anyone wondering why this particular 'mean person thread' was created:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1099829-learn-what-it-means-to-eat-clean?page=3

It's not the disagreeing... I'm all for constructive criticism. There are nice ways of doing it... I'm talking about the ones that want to just say how stupid you or your idea or your opinion is. The ones that want to post a negative mean comment on everything that is put out there. There are comments that are meant to be helpful in disagreement but there are also people just set on making people feel stupid... I was ready for negative comments on this as well. Like " well if you don't like it then get off MFP" things along that nature. I'm just not a negative person and I was just raised to be nice to others and not to ever be rude or disrespectful. Everyone was not raised that way sadly.

There are people like this everywhere (and I mean actual jerks, not just people who disagree with you on a message board).

You will not change them.

Learn to ignore them and let it go.

Well I got some positive on page one then all the sarcasm from then on :ohwell: ...... can't blame a girl for trying... I knew I was fighting a losing battle and you can't argue with arrogance. I'm out.

Calling a fad diet stupid is bad, but calling people having a differing opinion arrogant is ok?

Can someone please tell me where the rule book is so I can read up on the rules?

Amen sister. I agree, lately there is a lot of sarcasm, and general snottiness. Just because someone asks for tips on eating, because they are new, or struggling to fix an issue, or disagree with a tactic, it doesn't give the replying person the right to be condescending in their answer. If your sick of newbie questions or repetitive ones, or even common sense ones, don't answer it or let the next "expert" handle it hopefully with some diplomacy. I think the "fun" boards and the cavalier attitude there tends to bleed into the other boards where people are seriously looking for help, not a snappy, "well Duh", sort of reply. I never ask a question on the main boards anymore and rely on my friends on my list, or a group I've joined, or the search engine on here for those very reasons.

Agreed.

I absolutely agree with you. There are ways of expressing negative opinions that are tactful. Many of the MFP participants know how to do this. Not all of them practice it.

I've only read the first page of this topic, but all I know is this(well, it's not all I know :P):

There are ways to treat people, and there are ways not to treat people.

Sarcasm, even though everyone 'speaks' it(a ton of friends on Facebook have 'Sarcasm' as a language), is literally used to try to make a person feel stupid and then makes the person using sarcasm feel all giddy on the inside. Basically, the person using sarcasm is getting pleasure from someone else's pain. I don't know about you, but that sounds like sadism, to me. Of course, sadism without physical pain and -sexual- pleasure. But to me, it's very sadistic-like.

I'm Pagan, and the thing I've learned in life, and the thing that most of the books I've read say:

If it doesn't help you or someone else positively, don't waste the energy.

If someone posts a fad diet, instead of saying things like 'Oh yeah that'll work! Good luck' (sarcasm) or just saying 'fad diets are dumb', you could instead be telling them points as to why this wouldn't work, in a kind manner that actually makes it look like you care about this person's health, even if you could care less. Why use your energy to type up a message that is unkind and sarcastic, when you could fill it with actual information and tips?

If you're going to use energy to reply to a post, don't waste it with negativity or sarcasm.

Be kind!

Just in case you weren't aware of this feature, when you go to the message boards section, there is a button called search and you can type in a keyword/phrase (ex: rude/mean/butthurt) and you can see the threads that have already been created on the topic. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/992167-some-of-you-are-just-plain-rude?hl=rude

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1033717-rant-why-is-everyone-so-mean?hl=mean+people&page=3#posts-15856061

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/976527-when-people-offer-advice-stop-being-rude-and-degrading?hl=rude

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/920791-mfp-not-helping-or-showing-support-just-being-rude?hl=rude&page=15#posts-13981890

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/900646-being-rude-is-not-giving-support?hl=rude&page=3#posts-13625845

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/855369-seeing-a-lot-of-rude-comments-about-1200-cal?hl=rude#posts-12874305

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819763-rude-mean-people-on-here?hl=rude&page=16#posts-12297324

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/799446-rudeness-on-forums?hl=rude&page=2#posts-11939451

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/774191-what-s-up-with-all-the-rude-sarcastic-people-here?hl=rude&page=4#posts-11507301

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819763-rude-mean-people-on-here?hl=mean+people

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1092526-bullies-meanies-and-police-oh-my?hl=bully

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/789026-mean-people?hl=mean+people&page=2#posts-11759423

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/883246-mean-people-waste-the-internet?hl=mean+people#posts-13325677

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1088600-dear-mean-people-of-mfp?hl=mean+people

^BINGO! - honestly OP, you try and explaining to every new poster the same thing OVER AND OVER... there is a search button. So if anyone has a questions, you can type it into search, and find answers instead of creating a NEW thread, for the same thing.

Find your few supportive friends, and leave the rest behind. It's what we all do here.

I've only read the first page of this topic, but all I know is this(well, it's not all I know :P):

There are ways to treat people, and there are ways not to treat people.

Sarcasm, even though everyone 'speaks' it(a ton of friends on Facebook have 'Sarcasm' as a language), is literally used to try to make a person feel stupid and then makes the person using sarcasm feel all giddy on the inside. Basically, the person using sarcasm is getting pleasure from someone else's pain. I don't know about you, but that sounds like sadism, to me. Of course, sadism without physical pain and -sexual- pleasure. But to me, it's very sadistic-like.

I'm Pagan, and the thing I've learned in life, and the thing that most of the books I've read say:

If it doesn't help you or someone else positively, don't waste the energy.

If someone posts a fad diet, instead of saying things like 'Oh yeah that'll work! Good luck' (sarcasm) or just saying 'fad diets are dumb', you could instead be telling them points as to why this wouldn't work, in a kind manner that actually makes it look like you care about this person's health, even if you could care less. Why use your energy to type up a message that is unkind and sarcastic, when you could fill it with actual information and tips?

If you're going to use energy to reply to a post, don't waste it with negativity or sarcasm.

Be kind!

Yeah, that sounds like sadism, because it is sadism. If someone is doing that, they are a sadist. If someone is sarcastic and it hurt your feelings because a.) it hit home that you did something ignorant, foolish, etc. or b.) you're just sensitive, neither means someone is getting pleasure from your hurt feelings.

This sounds more like you're speaking from personal experience if using sarcastic language makes you giddy; perhaps you need to take another look at the words you're using.

Personally, I would never presume to tell other people how I think they should phrase their answers or what tone they should or shouldn't take.

*That* is real arrogance.

I'm seriously considering staying out of the message board. I read to see how other's may be dealing with certain situations or for some helpful hints with things but I have decided that people are just mean!!! Talk about cyber bullying. Making people feel completely stupid with the stuff they post is form of bullying~:" "indirect bullying", at least in some instances, such as name calling, the silent treatment, arguing others into submission, manipulation, gossip/false gossip, lies, rumors/false rumors, staring, giggling, laughing at the victim, saying certain words that trigger a reaction from a past event, and mocking.". Most of the people on here probably have or have had problems with self esteem and are looking for support and encouragement. They don't need people with their negative arrogant thoughts knocking them in the dirt with every little post. They get enough of that with the society as a whole. I am completely sick at the way people treat other people, especially on a site that is suppose to be for motivational purposes.... Sorry for the total rant... i'm climbing down off my soapbox now and bracing myself for the expected negativity this may draw.:yawn:

Sadly, Gabbygirl if you look back through the replies on this thread and many similar threads, you will find that the people that you perceive as the bully's are the ones that post on here a lot.

Maybe, it can be because they see the same questions time after time, which certainly is no excuse at all.

I hope you do not stay off the message boards or other people that are new do not feel they are being intimidated in any way.

You will find, in general, if you have a weight/food/exercise issue that those same people can give you lots of good advice.

You will also find that you can make some helpful and motivational friends, should you choose.

The internet sadly (or not) can be a place where people can type things to strangers without worry or consequence.

Congrats on your weight loss so far x