Has self love gone too far?

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  • shell_mc
    shell_mc Posts: 109 Member
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    I don't consider it 'self love gone too far'. I think there are many women (myself included) that measure self worth based on what they see in the mirror. Loving yourself shouldn't be conditional on what the scale says. Ever.

    I think what bothers me about this 'movement' is that it justifies an unhealthy lifestyle. 'I love myself so it's ok for me to weigh 300 pounds and be 50% body fat' isn't any healthier a mindset than saying, 'I love myself so it's ok for me to use this heroin.' Obesity is unhealthy and shouldn't be 'glamorized' any more than it should be ridiculed.

    I hope that made sense. Good for this woman for being confident and loving herself. We can all learn a lesson from that.
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
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    Only when I find myself crying afterwards.
  • kateistoned
    kateistoned Posts: 116
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    You can't judge someones health by solely looking at their weight. There are a ton of super skinny people who are unhealthy and a ton of obese people who are healthy.

    No one should feel ashamed of their body or weight. Even if you are obese (and even if you are unhealthy), you shouldn't hate yourself or feel disgusted with yourself - that's what I believe the self-love movement is about. No one deserves to be ashamed of themselves, regardless of size.

    I think the body love is about self-acceptance. If a person chooses to love themselves at a higher weight, that is their personal choice and I applaud them for embracing what they believe is beautiful. I think that often society's "fat judgement" hides behind a veil of being worried about a person's health. You just can't judge a person's health or how much self-love they should have by their appearance - fat, thin and everywhere in between.
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
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    If loving yourself is taking pictures of yourself in your underwear on a train with gobs of jiggly fat hanging over your panties then yes, it's gone too far.
  • sobriquet84
    sobriquet84 Posts: 607 Member
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    i'm of the mindset that if you are genuinly comfortable with yourself, then you don't have to go to extraordinary lengths to prove it to the world.

    Very true.

    If I saw someone dressed (or rather undressed) like that in public, brave is not the word that would come to mind, crazy would be the word.

    STOP THE BOAT!

    Wait a minute!

    I didn't even look at the article, but are you saying a woman who dresses to show off what she is proud of is crazy???

    yes.

    2013-09-17-tumblr_inline_mt8dyxLwqO1qkifb8.jpg
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    Self love is the only love I get. It can.never go too far.


    hi whierd
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    No it hasn't.

    It should go further.

    People put too much importance on their physical looks. A 300 lb woman shouldn't be anymore shameful than the plethora of underweight, scantily clad chicks I see in any fashion magazine.

    Btw, I'm fit and proud of my body. Would even appear scantly clad in professional fashion magazine if ever asked (doubt it).
    But I would not just wake up and go on a bus in my underwear just because I feel I'm beautiful.

    If her message is "every body is beautiful, no matter what it looks like", does that imply that everyone should commute in their underwear? Try picturing this for a minute.

    That is an extremely strange conclusion to make. I don't see how she is saying that at all. If she was just taking selfies in the mirror with writing all over her I doubt it would have garnered the same attention. Doing it publicly just ensures people will talk about it. In no way do I see her say or imply anywhere that those who feel beautiful should commute in their underwear.
  • jvbrooks
    jvbrooks Posts: 82 Member
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    I never like it when people talk about how being obese is "bad for your health." People do unhealthy things all the time -- what other people do -- whether they smoke or drink or eat in excess -- really is no one's business but their own.
  • JaneAero
    JaneAero Posts: 94 Member
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    I think she is a brave woman for her public strip off, its challenging peoples views of those who can show flesh and those that cant. Its the same with women being told hide your bingo wings in short sleeves or cover your varicose veins with trousers, ermm excuse me if its a hot day i will do what I like thank you very much social media. In a similar vein there used to be a thing on twitter in support of breast cancer where women would post pictures of themselves in their bra, being possessed of a beautiful set of bazookas myself & no shrinking violet either, I posted a picture wearing a red plunge bra which would give Jessica Rabbit a run for her money, was I brave? no... but I think I might have been the only 53 year old woman doing it and what was good enough for them was good enough for me. The funny thing was the men who were attracted by bra and bazookas but probably repulsed by my age, it made me laugh
  • ILoveBreakfast671
    ILoveBreakfast671 Posts: 76 Member
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    Would not smash.
  • sobriquet84
    sobriquet84 Posts: 607 Member
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    Would not smash.

    but she's batschit crazy. i hear those can be the fun ones.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    I never like it when people talk about how being obese is "bad for your health." People do unhealthy things all the time -- what other people do -- whether they smoke or drink or eat in excess -- really is no one's business but their own.

    I not only agree with this mindset, but the logic behind the assumption that obesity = poor health automatically is extremely faulty. When I got bloodwork done as an obese person my doctor told me my cholesterol and blood sugar levels were better than most people with normal BMIs. In my example my good health may have had something to do with my age, but the point remains that obesity is never an absolute indicator of health. Instead, obesity is a marker for increased risk for certain health conditions, such as excessive alcohol consumption or cigarette smoking is. It's a shame that many cannot logically make this connection because of their personal prejudices toward overweight individuals.
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
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    Above posters were right, she's still making a point that a woman's self worth is based on her appearance.
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
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    What I, er, *love* about the whole weight issue is the assumption that a thin person is automatically healthy and an overweight person is not...I was acquainted with (we were Toastmasters together) two woman one of whom was a "perfect size 8" at 5'4" and an overweight woman of the same height (dunno her wt, don't care) the "thin" woman's cholesterol, BP, etc were "off the charts" high, she had bone density "issues," the overweight woman's cholesterol, BP, "sugar," etc. were within normal ranges, no problem with bone density...they were both in the same age range was well.

    "Thin" does not automatically = "healthy" and "fat" does not automatically = "unhealthy"

    If we'd stop putting labels on people, I think the world would be a lot better off.
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
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    I am of two minds on this:
    1. I applaud her self confidence. Especially when I think of all the young, beautiful, TINY girls I know who have self esteem issues because of their perceived imperfections.
    2. However, I don't think the way she is showing her 'self love' is appropriate. She comes off as nutty. Wandering around in public covered with black marker and little else? That kind of thing just makes people uncomfortable. As one of the commenters said on the article, it's like Miley rubbing her butt into a married man's crotch with her tongue hanging out. It just looks tacky.
  • lucystacy71
    lucystacy71 Posts: 290 Member
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    There was a time I was a nice healty weight, but I was still very unsatisfied with my appearance. I felt my butt was always too big, my legs too short, my waist too long, etc. The sad truth was I didn't love myself. I didn't even like myself. When I first started here and really begin to try and lose the weight I had gained, I soon figured out that the first step was to love myself. I had to love the true me, even with all my flaws and shortcomings. It didn't matter how I looked - but I had to love myself enough to make the big changes in my life to improve my health and quality of living. I still struggle at times with self-image and I'm not sure I'll ever feel completely confident, but I'm working towards it.

    With all that being said, it is hard at times being obese in society. People automatically assume that your lazy or you just eat too much. In my case, the weight gain came from an undiagnosed medical condition that I'm now working to control. You feel unloved and even unworthy of love - but that's not just true of those people who are overweight. People at any weight can be victims of undue prejudices and feelings of unworthiness.
  • ST99000722
    ST99000722 Posts: 204 Member
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    bump to read later
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I think it's more about body image than saying it's ok to be unhealthy. As they say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and Beauty is different for everyone. Unfortunately society says fat is ugly, thin is beauty. Yes there are health issues and we all have the choice to be healthy or not, but, as you've done yourself, you're assuming she's unhealthy because she's overweight. She may eat healthily and exercise most days, but may eat as many calories as she burns.

    She weighs 311 lbs. She is not healthy. There is no need for assuming anything.

    Society doesn't say morbid obesity is ugly. Biology says it.

    There's a difference between carrying a few extra pounds and still loving yourself and carrying a few hundred extra pounds and being in denial about it.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Above posters were right, she's still making a point that a woman's self worth is based on her appearance.

    Are you suggesting that one's appearance is not even a component of their self worth?

    Because if that were the case, then no one would care about their appearance. The fashion industry, beauty aid industry, cosmetic surgery industry, and several others would be completely worthless. I don't think she is saying that beauty is the only thing that creates self-worth, but that it is a big part of creating one's self-esteem. And this is actually a good thing because if she learns to value her self-image, then in time, she will learn how to take better care of it.

    Do you know why I got obese? Because I was a 5'11" and 170 lbs and my friends were all 5'6" and 120 lbs and I thought that I was supposed to look like them, and once I abandoned the thought that it was actually attainable for me, I stopped caring about appearance in general. Not because I loved and valued my body, but because I hated it.

    Her public proclammation of "self-love" isn't about acceptance. Me deciding that if I couldn't be as thin as my friends, then why care, was fat acceptance.
  • ILoveBreakfast671
    ILoveBreakfast671 Posts: 76 Member
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    I think it's more about body image than saying it's ok to be unhealthy. As they say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and Beauty is different for everyone. Unfortunately society says fat is ugly, thin is beauty. Yes there are health issues and we all have the choice to be healthy or not, but, as you've done yourself, you're assuming she's unhealthy because she's overweight. She may eat healthily and exercise most days, but may eat as many calories as she burns.

    She weighs 311 lbs. She is not healthy. There is no need for assuming anything.

    Society doesn't say morbid obesity is ugly. Biology says it.

    There's a difference between carrying a few extra pounds and still loving yourself and carrying a few hundred extra pounds and being in denial about it.

    You are absolutely correct.

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