support for Binge Eating Disorder

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Replies

  • malpal0111
    malpal0111 Posts: 48 Member
    I'm so happy to have found a group of people here talking about this issue and supporting one another!!

    I was diagnosed with non-purging bulimia (bingeing and then restrictive dieting/excessive exercise/laxative use to "make up for it") about six years ago. Although I have improved some, I still have a long way to go. Due to the NPB, I've been on a weight rollercoaster for almost ten years, and I am now determined to STOP the madness and take control. I have been on MFP for about 6 weeks now and today had my first true binge since joining. I was feeling really worthless and empty emotionally and I guess I was trying to stuff that emptiness full of ice cream. But it only made me feel all the more empty in the end.

    I need some support and I hope I can help support all of you in your journeys to overcome this beast too.

    I feel like it would be good for me to set some little "baby-step" goals for myself to shoot towards, so here's my first:

    GOAL: NO MORE "punishing" by restricting! If I have a bad day and binge, I will come to this board or sit down with a notebook, get all of those ugly feelings out, FORGIVE myself and MOVE ON! Trying to make up for my binge by starving myself the next day or two is only pushing the rollercoaster uphill for the next crash.

    I'd like to hear what everyone else's current goals are as well so maybe we can help one another acheive them!

    Finally, I love, love, LOVE this! "It's what I do" is such a confident way to assure myself that I AM, indeed changing my behaviors for good, and that I WILL conquer this beast! Thanks so much for this!


    Develop the mantra; "It's What I Do"
    When you don't feel like exercising remind yourself: "It's What I Do"... then do it!
    When you don't want to pass up dessert, remind yourself: "It's What I Do"... then pass it up!
    When you feel too tired to write in your food and exercise journals, remind yourself: "It's What I Do"... then do it!
  • Krymsen
    Krymsen Posts: 72
    Hey!

    No binging today! What I'm doing is not counting fruits and vegs on my cals count untill I can get a better grip on my food. I find if I put to much ristrictions on my food I will binge so I eat as much of fruits and vegs for know then I will work on the other things. Like you guys were saying on step at a time. Tks again for all the surport.

    Melissa
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    On that note, I agree. I am doing that same thing myself. After departing from the trainer/coach I have been having a difficult time holding myself accountable for every little thing. So I needed to take it WAY BACK! For the past 3-4 weeks I have been so frustrated with myself and over this past weekend I made the decision to just cut my focus back and make my goals more attainable for myself right now. For example, I'm having a hard time keeping to the same "formula" the nutrition coach advised. Like my sugars have been out of control and then I don't even want to log and then not logging allows me to lose sight of the big picture which is calories. So now my focus is just calories (for now) to bring me back in the game and to keep me from saying "screw it all" and I know that's not what I want anyhow. Same with exercise, I'm getting mad at myself for not continuing with the strength training on my own and I need to at least do something everyday even if it is just a quick walk. I need to get myself out of the all or nothing mentality with these things right now.

    You will get their Diane. This is called trainer withdrawal. I had it when I had a trainer for 6 months. I hope you come out of your funk sooner than I did. Start with baby steps and do the best you can.

    Molly, this was really helpful this morning to know that what I'm experiencing is something someone else experienced too, so thank you very much for sharing that. :heart:
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Welcome MalPal! Ecuador? That's so cool! Where in the Midwest are you from? I'm glad to see you on the thread and hope we can support each other. My goal for today will be to make sure to get in at least 8 - 8oz cups of water in. I know that I need much more, but it is a start because I'm having a really hard time remembering to drink. My problem is that I dont' like having to go to the bathroom so much so then I don't drink and then I eat instead of drinking and get dehyrated and it becomes a bad cycle. So today I will make sure to get in at LEAST 8 cups. And I'm already at 2 :) I will drink out of an 8oz cup and I find that helps too. If I pour myself too big of a glass it becomes overwhelming and then I don't drink it, or it gets warm and then I don't like it as much. So I'll carry around my little 8oz styrofoam cup at work and get up more often too to go fill it up. I will check in tomorrow with the number of cups I drank. Please someone hold me accountable :)
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Hey!

    No binging today! What I'm doing is not counting fruits and vegs on my cals count untill I can get a better grip on my food. I find if I put to much ristrictions on my food I will binge so I eat as much of fruits and vegs for know then I will work on the other things. Like you guys were saying on step at a time. Tks again for all the surport.

    Melissa

    Great idea!
  • kpnuts23
    kpnuts23 Posts: 960 Member
    Im going to bump this for later

    I too have attacks of the binge and i cannot stop, regardless of how full/sick i feel..

    It usuall starts with a harmless 30cal McVities Biscuit with a cup of tea.. nothing too bad whatsoever.. then i will go overboard with my lunch making more than i will usually eat, followed by a couple of chcolate bars to feed the sugar cravings... and thereafter it is a constant battle with the buiscuit tin and chocolate box.. oh and the icecream tub.. and i cannot stop... so once ive packed that all behind me its time for dinner.. which i will happily have... maybe loading a few more custard creams for good measures. These usually occur over the weekend when im not in my usual work routine and gymming mindset...
    ... i wish they didnt happen as i find sleeping afterwords is soo uncomfortable and i wake up in the morning feeling really tierd, bloated and sick still...

    .. i have been known to be physically sick because of overeating (not out of choice)..

    Thank you for posting this thread and i cannot believe its taken me this long to find... coming up to two years on here...!!! xx
  • Krymsen
    Krymsen Posts: 72
    Hey!

    So day 2 of no binging started pretty good. But I had a mini binge this afternoon but not beating myself up. And I was able to stop myself before it got out of hand. So I'm happy with myself for stopping when I did because I was rdy for way more food. One little problem not a big deal forgive and move on. Yay for me!

    Melissa

    The rest of the day will be great!
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    On that note, I agree. I am doing that same thing myself. After departing from the trainer/coach I have been having a difficult time holding myself accountable for every little thing. So I needed to take it WAY BACK! For the past 3-4 weeks I have been so frustrated with myself and over this past weekend I made the decision to just cut my focus back and make my goals more attainable for myself right now. For example, I'm having a hard time keeping to the same "formula" the nutrition coach advised. Like my sugars have been out of control and then I don't even want to log and then not logging allows me to lose sight of the big picture which is calories. So now my focus is just calories (for now) to bring me back in the game and to keep me from saying "screw it all" and I know that's not what I want anyhow. Same with exercise, I'm getting mad at myself for not continuing with the strength training on my own and I need to at least do something everyday even if it is just a quick walk. I need to get myself out of the all or nothing mentality with these things right now.

    You will get their Diane. This is called trainer withdrawal. I had it when I had a trainer for 6 months. I hope you come out of your funk sooner than I did. Start with baby steps and do the best you can.

    Molly, this was really helpful this morning to know that what I'm experiencing is something someone else experienced too, so thank you very much for sharing that. :heart:

    Oh yes. I never knew of it but I knew what happened. What they do is so much fun and they make it so enjoyable plus the added push is great and than the pat on the backs. What helped me thru it is the people at the gym. Getting to know the peoples and then seeing the benefits of the trainer and saying keep up the good work. Now I am passed it but it took a while. I skipped the gym for a while. I can't give you any advice because if you are like me you stuck with it for as long as you could. I could not afford more.

    I can dream and I tell you if I ever get rich or win some money, I will have a trainer forever. I know now what helps me is logging my exercise and getting pats on the backs. I put my exercise in at the end of the day so I am not tempted to eat them all up. I try not to eat over half of my calories. My goal is to eat none of them! lol! I have not did that yet. I guess I have since I have my calories set lower than they should be. Just never give up trying to push yourself to get to gym, walk, etc. The weather is surpurb this time of year so take advantage of it and just go for a walk. Walking heals the soul!
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    I'm so happy to have found a group of people here talking about this issue and supporting one another!!

    I was diagnosed with non-purging bulimia (bingeing and then restrictive dieting/excessive exercise/laxative use to "make up for it") about six years ago. Although I have improved some, I still have a long way to go. Due to the NPB, I've been on a weight rollercoaster for almost ten years, and I am now determined to STOP the madness and take control. I have been on MFP for about 6 weeks now and today had my first true binge since joining. I was feeling really worthless and empty emotionally and I guess I was trying to stuff that emptiness full of ice cream. But it only made me feel all the more empty in the end.

    I need some support and I hope I can help support all of you in your journeys to overcome this beast too.

    I feel like it would be good for me to set some little "baby-step" goals for myself to shoot towards, so here's my first:

    GOAL: NO MORE "punishing" by restricting! If I have a bad day and binge, I will come to this board or sit down with a notebook, get all of those ugly feelings out, FORGIVE myself and MOVE ON! Trying to make up for my binge by starving myself the next day or two is only pushing the rollercoaster uphill for the next crash.

    I'd like to hear what everyone else's current goals are as well so maybe we can help one another acheive them!

    Finally, I love, love, LOVE this! "It's what I do" is such a confident way to assure myself that I AM, indeed changing my behaviors for good, and that I WILL conquer this beast! Thanks so much for this!


    Develop the mantra; "It's What I Do"
    When you don't feel like exercising remind yourself: "It's What I Do"... then do it!
    When you don't want to pass up dessert, remind yourself: "It's What I Do"... then pass it up!
    When you feel too tired to write in your food and exercise journals, remind yourself: "It's What I Do"... then do it!

    Welcome Malpal!! What a great idea!! and I love the It's What I do mantra too. So much better than Just do it.....:-) My current goal regarding eating is no fried foods or fast foods one in the same for me for the rest of the month. It was suppose to be the whole month but I failed the 1st 2 days but not giving up or in because of 2 mistakes. It is hump day and I passed on Popeyes' chicken special yesterday! So I am doing good so far, no fast (FAT) foods for me since Sunday. My nick name for fast foods is FAT foods. It helps me remember fast foods make us FAT. Ok maybe not 100 percent true for most but it is for me!

    Thanks for sharing and posting! Again wonderful idea!
  • malpal0111
    malpal0111 Posts: 48 Member
    Hey!

    So day 2 of no binging started pretty good. But I had a mini binge this afternoon but not beating myself up. And I was able to stop myself before it got out of hand. So I'm happy with myself for stopping when I did because I was rdy for way more food. One little problem not a big deal forgive and move on. Yay for me!

    Melissa

    The rest of the day will be great!

    Congratulations for stopping! I struggle so much with that. I know I should stop, but it's like hand-to-mouth is on autopilot. Sometimes I stop and put the icecream in the freezer only to go back for it a few minutes later, even though I'm stuffed sick. I guess next time I should put it in the garbage can, OUTSIDE, rather than the freezer. :)

    Thanks to all for the warm welcome!

    Molly, I like the FAT food nickname! All of those little mantras and simple ways to change my thinking (like nicknames) seem to work pretty well for me, and you're just full of great ideas!

    I hope everyone had a healthy day today! I know my day was 10000x better than yesterday!
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Happy to report I met my goal. 8 cups of water, 2 cups of G2 (Gatorade).
  • Krymsen
    Krymsen Posts: 72
    Nicely done you can do it! having a great day so far and very proud of myself from yesterday had a very stressfully day and did not pig out after it, Yay!!!!!!!! I'm learning.

    Good luck to the rest of ya!
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Nicely done yourself Melissa! :flowerforyou:
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    Congrats on water Diane!!

    Congats Melissa on not pigging out under stress!!

    4 days of no FAT foods for me, going on 5!! They say 3 to 4 weeks it is a habit. That is a habit worth reaching for!

    Keep up the good work all and have a wonderful day!
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Congrats Mollie on no FAT. LOL. Yeah, I really like your word for it. Helps me think about it like that too.
  • Krymsen
    Krymsen Posts: 72
    Other day no binging I feel great! 9 lbs down must of been water weight! I have 11 pounds to go to be where I was again. I think I can I think I think I can. My goal is a week no binging here we go!
  • malpal0111
    malpal0111 Posts: 48 Member
    Congratulations to everyone on your successes!

    I had a great day yesterday, then a little slip up today. Nothing monumental, I was able to stop myself before the feeling of total disgust, but I ate mindlessly after work, about double of what the meal should have been. TOM is here and it always gets me!
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Thanks for checking in ladies, it helps me feel not so alone, you know? I lost count of water, I definitely go in 7 and maybe 8. But I did really well w/ no after dinner snacking.
  • Krymsen
    Krymsen Posts: 72
    Hey!

    So I had a mini binge today. What I learned is when I want one thing I should just have a little instead of eating other foods to mask it. Lesson learned the rest of the day will be great. Also was albe to stop myself before it got out of control. Good luck to everyone else.

    Melissa
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Oh Mel I totally get that too. Like I want item X, but that is really high in fat/cals/sugar/sodium, etc...

    So I eat item Y because it is a "healthier" choice.......
    Not Satisfied
    So I eat item Z because it is a "healthier" choice.......
    Still Not Satisfied

    and
    on
    and
    on
    we
    go.......

    Until I've reached 1000+ calories trying to satisfy a craving that would have only been 300 or 400 to begin with. It's a hard thing to figure out because once a while I can get away with substituting. And then there's the times where I really should have just eaten item X to begin with.
  • gillleeman
    gillleeman Posts: 397 Member
    Just checking in, had a better week this week. I read somewhere on here that before someone eats a food they fancy, they enter it into their food diary to see how many calories it takes them over, they find this helps so I gave this a go!! Had KFC tonight which definately took me over, then the head started saying mmmmm something sweet now. Managed to enter KFC into diary and its taken me over 700 cals thoughts of exercising them off in the morning has stopped me going to the cupboard for something sweet.
  • Krymsen
    Krymsen Posts: 72
    Hey!

    Checking in crappy stressfully day, so I binged but not as bad as before I was able to stop myself before it got really crazy. It is getting easyier one day at a time. Tormorrow will be better. Good luck to all you for the weekend. Good news is I'm only 10 pounds away from my goal so I'm getting there slowly.

    Melissa
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    Oh Mel I totally get that too. Like I want item X, but that is really high in fat/cals/sugar/sodium, etc...

    So I eat item Y because it is a "healthier" choice.......
    Not Satisfied
    So I eat item Z because it is a "healthier" choice.......
    Still Not Satisfied

    and
    on
    and
    on
    we
    go.......

    Until I've reached 1000+ calories trying to satisfy a craving that would have only been 300 or 400 to begin with. It's a hard thing to figure out because once a while I can get away with substituting. And then there's the times where I really should have just eaten item X to begin with.

    Another stratgy to consider when you have cravings is having a small portion of what you really want or working a nice portion into your daily plan with the healthier choices. I had been craving item X for weeks and I know my Mom was making one of my favorites for me last weekend. So all week I made sure not to skip any workouts and then on Saturday I worked out 2 hours at the gym to make sure I could have a good portion and do so guilt free. It worked too! Just my 2 cents. Because I have felt bad when I eat all this other stuff and I am still not satisfied and still feel deprived. Deprivation is not good for us. And what I use to do is eat all the healtly stuff trying to replace what I really wanted and then having item X too! Double wammy.

    You are right many times trying to substitute does work. But if you try one thing to substitute and see it did not do it for you, stop and plan for when you can fit in your it X. Hope that made sense. I am up too early because I could not sleep......:-)


    I am still doing good on my no FAT foods!! 7 days for me now! I almost slipped yesterday but I bounced out of it and ordered something else. It was not the healthiest choice but it was not fried and not fast foods......:-)

    Congrats Melissa on staying positive!

    Congrats Gil on putting the brakes on!

    One day at a time ladies and you all keep up the good work! Have a good week!! We can do this!
  • Krymsen
    Krymsen Posts: 72
    Hey!

    Well I blew it today! Thanksgiving got to hate it! And a birthday as well! Cake and pies every where. And stress today I binged bad. Well time to work it off for the rest of the week. I wish I could kick this bad binging. I hope everyone else did better this weekend.

    Melissa
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Not a great weekend food, water, or exercise wise, but not horrible either.

    Woke up with a positive attitude today and it's going to be a good week! I want to see a loss on that scale!
  • Voncreepy2
    Voncreepy2 Posts: 1,450 Member
    Not a great weekend food, water, or exercise wise, but not horrible either.

    Woke up with a positive attitude today and it's going to be a good week! I want to see a loss on that scale!

    You will do it. Believe it. I know where you are coming from. If I get mad at my husband I head straight to the refrigerator. My binging has emotional triggers. I have learned to find my triggers and it has taken me a loooooooong time to get a grip. I still have days. And some days to be honest, I have days I tell myself I don't even care, but then I immediately go throught the guilt of having stuffed my face. Hang in there girl friend. I don't know what the therapist is doing for you, but pay attention how you feel when this happens, write it down even and see if there is a pattern. Hang in there.
  • Krymsen
    Krymsen Posts: 72
    Really great food day no binging, I'm trying to do 5 meals a day. I did have cake and pie for breakfast not a really good idea but I did workout. I'm just so glad I did not binge tomorrow will be the big test because I will be by myself as hubby goes back to work and kids are in school. But I'm planning on going to the gym so very happy for that it has been to long.

    Yay, be pat on my back for that.
  • I have NEVER written on a message board before. I can completely relate to how you feel. Exhausted by this. Yes, I "binge" eat. I am sick of this cylce. I am ashamed of myself. No one I know struggles with this. Having read the other posts, I now know there are others who struggle like I do. I would like to join a support group, to help me overcome this. I eat "perfectly" healthy and correct portions, and EVERY day I say to myself "I will not binge" EVERY day I end up going off the deep end. Pigging out and feeling guilty, ashamed, embarassed and really discouraged. I have gained and lost the same 40 pounds since I was 11 years old. I am SICK and tired of this cycle. How do you stop??? I feel people would be shocked if they saw how much I can eat. I hide this from everyone......it shows up on my body.....I am overweight AGAIN....I think that if I could just lose the 30 lbs. I would finally be able to eat normally, normal portions, healthy foods, no emotional eating and NO more binging. Is this possible?
  • malpal0111
    malpal0111 Posts: 48 Member

    You will do it. Believe it. I know where you are coming from. If I get mad at my husband I head straight to the refrigerator. My binging has emotional triggers. I have learned to find my triggers and it has taken me a loooooooong time to get a grip. I still have days. And some days to be honest, I have days I tell myself I don't even care, but then I immediately go throught the guilt of having stuffed my face. Hang in there girl friend. I don't know what the therapist is doing for you, but pay attention how you feel when this happens, write it down even and see if there is a pattern. Hang in there.

    I am the same way! I got mad at my hubby today and the first thing that came into my mind (after fantasizing about punching him in the nose :) was all of the food I wanted to stuff my face with. I had a long and really busy day, so I still had over 1,000 calories left to eat, so I decided to go get the things I was dreaming about, measure them out and enter them into my food diary until my calories were gone, and then indulge. So far this has avoided a major binge, but it was pure luck that I had that many calories left to indulge with. Once you recognize your triggers, what do you do to stop them from triggering?
    Really great food day no binging, I'm trying to do 5 meals a day. I did have cake and pie for breakfast not a really good idea but I did workout. I'm just so glad I did not binge tomorrow will be the big test because I will be by myself as hubby goes back to work and kids are in school. But I'm planning on going to the gym so very happy for that it has been to long.

    Yay, be pat on my back for that.

    Good for you for getting back to the gym! I have found that working out is my best binge deterrent! If I can get myself to work out when I feel like bingeing, afterwards the urge to binge is usually gone. I can't bring myself to undo all the hard work I just did.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    I have NEVER written on a message board before. I can completely relate to how you feel. Exhausted by this. Yes, I "binge" eat. I am sick of this cylce. I am ashamed of myself. No one I know struggles with this. Having read the other posts, I now know there are others who struggle like I do. I would like to join a support group, to help me overcome this. I eat "perfectly" healthy and correct portions, and EVERY day I say to myself "I will not binge" EVERY day I end up going off the deep end. Pigging out and feeling guilty, ashamed, embarassed and really discouraged. I have gained and lost the same 40 pounds since I was 11 years old. I am SICK and tired of this cycle. How do you stop??? I feel people would be shocked if they saw how much I can eat. I hide this from everyone......it shows up on my body.....I am overweight AGAIN....I think that if I could just lose the 30 lbs. I would finally be able to eat normally, normal portions, healthy foods, no emotional eating and NO more binging. Is this possible?

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are definitely not alone. For us it is a daily struggle and I do find that logging in here and talking with you all helps.
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