Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?

For myself, I love the gym! I usually only go to the classes (kickboxing, yoga, zumba, etc) and get on the elliptical, bike, or treadmill. BUT I never go into the weight-lifting room. I really want to, but the truth is, I don't know how to lift weights. I don't know technique or what works out what muscle. I'm also too intimidated by all the people in the weight room knowing exactly what they're doing.. I'm scared they'll look at me try and then laugh. I wanna hire a personal trainer to teach but I'm tight on money So, overall, I love the gym! Just some parts of it has me a bit intimidated. :ohwell:

I get why people feel the need to tell/remind those that are nervous about the gym that the other people there aren't watching you and don't care about you. I know that's true. But the fact is that as a woman you grow up being told that everyone IS watching you and you should also be watching everyone else. "Honey, cross your legs your slip's showing and someone will see it." "Dear, you can't wear that shirt, it shows your bra straps and someone will see it." "Why is she wearing that dress, it makes her look so fat." To learn/unlearn that everyone in the world isn't out hunting for your bra straps can honestly be pretty difficult if you were raised to believe in the scrutiny of others, which sadly many of us ladies have been raised this way.

As a side, having been raised this way, I sometimes *do* find myself watching and judging others ("Oh my god that girls' skirt doesn't even come down to her crotch!" "She should NOT be wearing leggings.") This makes the problem worse because when I judge others it reinforces the idea that others are judging me. When I stop judging others I also stop thinking about how they are judging me.

They key to getting to the gym to get a good workout at any fitness/knowledge level is a simple-- it only involves unlearning decades of ingrained beliefs. And then on top of that the guys come along and judge you for feeling judged at the gym-- highly counter-productive.

I hated the gym because when I went, which was only twice, it was a bunch of skinny women staring at me, the fat one. Plus, that gym sucked anyway and only tried it because of the free 'childcare.'

I'd rather just work out at home...at least until I am one of the skinny *****y chicks, yet I won't be staring and judging others.

Out of curiosity, what did they do that made you think they were staring at or judging you? I guess I've never been to the gym and seen what you have described and my gym has a very wide variety of body types that frequent, so there are plenty of fit people and also plenty of other people who are on their journey.

I go to a no-frills sort of place - Charter Fitness, and it is very much normal people in their sweatshirts lifting and running and whatnot (there is one guy, who comes in and brings his elderly grandmom to walk on the treadmill, its so cute), but there are a lot of gyms here in Chicago with people who are there to scope out other people and be judgey - especially in some of the more high end hoods. One gym near me, Planet Fitness has a sign that says "no gymtimidation" and that is exactly it - when you go in and see super thin, fit women who are only in a bra top and shorts mastering their downward facing dog or in the step class barely breaking a sweat while you flail in an uncoordinated sweaty mess. As a person over 200 lbs its so discouraging to be the fat girl in a faded t -shirt and beat up sweats surrounded by girls who have thigh gap.

In regard to the weights - the free weights especially, there are a lot of guys over there in my gym. It seems to be a guy domain. I know that inherently they do not care what I am doing when I venture over there to do my bicep curls or reverse lunges or whatever, but its a mental wall of testosterone that you have to push through.

Mostly I'm over this - I found the right gym for me. The people who are there are there to workout and are very encouraging - there is no side eye or body shaming or people working out in bra tops or super tight muscle shirts preening. But going to the wrong gym can really scar a person.

This is all in your head mostly but even if people are judging, they have a right to think whatever they want to think. It's a free country. People are allowed to preen if they want and wear sports bra's if they want... At some gyms this is standard fair... I guess if that makes you uncomfortable then you should fine one where people don't do this which you have... People wearing less clothing doesn't necessarily mean they are "obnoxious" or judging you. Sounds like you are judging people just because they are confident, wear form fitting attire and enjoy looking in the mirror. Personally I find nothing offensive about any of the above because I do it myself. Due to your insecurities you are the judging everyone who is in shape and confident as a judgmental person.

If no one has ever said anything to you then you cannot assume what they are thinking. People look those who are thin and in shape up and down as well. Everyone gets looked at in the gym; it doesn't mean that it only happens to you just because you are overweight.

I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.