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Question for the ladies

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  • Posts: 604 Member
    Why not just ask him out instead of beating around the bush?

    Well, cause I don't want to make our friendship awkward, and this way I can put it off as though I'm just curious, ya know? And if he says me, then more power to me!
  • Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Well, cause I don't want to make our friendship awkward, and this way I can put it off as though I'm just curious, ya know? And if he says me, then more power to me!

    No, you're putting him in the same awkward position that you are trying to avoid. You don't want to ask him out and get rejected and make things awkward, so you're essentially putting him in a position to where he has to out himself and hope that YOU are receptive to it.

    You don't have to directly say "Hey, wanna go out on a date?" Say something like "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a bite/come over and watch a movie...you know just you and me?"
  • Posts: 7,166 Member
    He totally already knows. If his friends know and his sister knows. He knows. Ask him out.
  • Posts: 3,452 Member
    I'm also friends with his sister. Do you think I should ask her? She knows I'm interested in him, but she said she wouldn't tell him.

    Have her find out whether he's interested in you or someone else.
  • Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Have her find out whether he's interested in you or someone else.

    Oh dear lord.
  • Posts: 7,166 Member
    JUST ASK HIM OUT!

    JUST ASK HIM OUT!

    JUST ASK HIM OUT!

    JUST ASK HIM OUT!

    JUST ASK HIM OUT!
  • Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Oh dear lord.

    What's your problem? She said she wanted to be as indirect as possible. If he's straight up uninterested she won't have to waste her time and she will not have made the friendship awkward.
  • Posts: 14,025 Member
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    What's your problem? She said she wanted to be as indirect as possible. If he's straight up uninterested she won't have to waste her time and she will not have made the friendship awkward.

    If you don't see the problem, then it is a waste of time explaining it to you.
  • Posts: 14,025 Member
    JUST ASK HIM OUT!

    JUST ASK HIM OUT!

    JUST ASK HIM OUT!

    JUST ASK HIM OUT!

    JUST ASK HIM OUT!

    This. Why play games?
  • Posts: 604 Member
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    What's your problem? She said she wanted to be as indirect as possible. If he's straight up uninterested she won't have to waste her time and she will not have made the friendship awkward.

    I think you are right. I think it's kinda weird for the GIRL to ask the GUY out. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?
  • Posts: 458 Member
    Why would you look like a tramp if you let him know you liked him?
  • Posts: 753 Member
    Depends on a lot of things. Sometime just saw we should hang out sometimes and see what he says. Or if he is friends with one of my good friends have them talk to him.
  • Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I think you are right. I think it's kinda weird fir the GIRL to ask the GUY out. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

    It's 2013 not 1950.
  • Posts: 604 Member
    Why would you look like a tramp if you let him know you liked him?

    Well, I don't think I would look like a tramp if I told him at all. But, I see how many other girls are crushing on him, and I don't want to be added to his "cute girls who have a crush on me" collection. If he knows, I want to be sure he is genuinely interested in me. Does that make sense? (also the only reason why I think I have a chance are people are noticing that we talk a lot and etc.--so this in not a hopeless endeavor)
  • Posts: 604 Member
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    It's 2013 not 1950.

    Well, he is rather into tradition (he is quite a gentleman) so I don't know how he'd take it. And it rubs my the wrong way too...
  • Posts: 458 Member
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    Well, I don't think I would look like a tramp if I told him at all. But, I see how many other girls are crushing on him, and I don't want to be added to his "cute girls who have a crush on me" collection. If he knows, I want to be sure he is genuinely interested in me. Does that make sense? (also the only reason why I think I have a chance are people are noticing that we talk a lot and etc.--so this in not a hopeless endeavor)

    Well I'd say if he hasn't asked you out yet, you might be in the friend zone but maybe he's just slow to warm up? In that case I'd play it cool and not be like all the girls that fall to his feet. Make him fall at yours, patience :wink:
  • Posts: 604 Member
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    Well I'd say if he hasn't asked you out yet, you might be in the friend zone but maybe he's just slow to warm up? In that case I'd play it cool and not be like all the girls that fall to his feet. Make him fall at yours, patience :wink:

    That's what I've been trying the past 6 months haha. Probably the best solution though :) Thanks!
  • Posts: 458 Member
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    That's what I've been trying the past 6 months haha. Probably the best solution though :) Thanks!

    Just be real, be you. If its meant to be it'll happen and if not there's plenty of fish in the sea. Good luck!
  • Posts: 1,625 Member
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    That's what I've been trying the past 6 months haha. Probably the best solution though :) Thanks!

    Working well for you then? :huh: Seriously either a) ask him out - he can only say yes or no! b) Don't ask him out - he'll never get the chance to say yes or no.
  • Posts: 2,467 Member
    Just say "hey, I like you. Let's do the sex"

    Works everytime.

    yeah-bone em girl!
  • Posts: 9,307 Member
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    I think you are right. I think it's kinda weird fir the GIRL to ask the GUY out. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

    So true,just make sure he knows you will have dinner ready and laundry done when he gets home and all is good. :smile:
  • Posts: 604 Member
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    So true,just make sure he knows you will have dinner ready and laundry done when he gets home and all is good. :smile:

    ... sarcasm?
  • Posts: 9,307 Member
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    ... sarcasm?

    Of course...just pointing out that when ladies cite tradition as the reason they refuse to put themselves in risk of rejection and insist a guy must they seem to shy away from the other traditions of the era.
  • Posts: 1,625 Member
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    Of course...just pointing out that when ladies cite tradition as the reason they refuse to put themselves in risk of rejection and insist a guy must they seem to shy away from the other traditions of the era.

    Pfft I'm all for men opening doors for me, pulling my seat out, paying for everything, doing all the DIY, gardening, motor maintance, & anything else I can think of. Possibly why I'm still single :grumble:

    OP ask the man out! Or risk becoming a spinster like me :sad:
  • Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Of course...just pointing out that when ladies cite tradition as the reason they refuse to put themselves in risk of rejection and insist a guy must they seem to shy away from the other traditions of the era.

    It's not about putting the guy at risk of rejection. It's about the fact that men with balls will go after what they want, specially after being given a subtle green light. I have never had time for men who don't go after what they want. If I have to do the asking he must not want me enough.
    Ps dinner is ready and the second load is in the dryer.
  • Posts: 1,893 Member
    Maybe he is just shy, too. Are you really willing to not get a chance just because you are trying to stick to a way far gone tradition? Just tell him you are wanting to try out a new recipe soon and are hoping he can come by and try it out for you since he seems like such an honest guy.
  • Posts: 418 Member
    Just simply tell him you find him attractive and you would like to go on a date. Continue by saying that you realize you are good friends and if he thinks exploring where things would be a bad idea that you understand but would still like to remain friends. If he really is a friend he will get past it and you guys can move on as friends. Don't "FRIENDZONE" yourself forever and hold onto something that isn't there because you don't have the courage to at least ask and find out.
  • Posts: 604 Member
    Maybe he is just shy, too. Are you really willing to not get a chance just because you are trying to stick to a way far gone tradition? Just tell him you are wanting to try out a new recipe soon and are hoping he can come by and try it out for you since he seems like such an honest guy.
    Haha that's actually a really good idea :P
  • Posts: 604 Member
    Just simply tell him you find him attractive and you would like to go on a date. Continue by saying that you realize you are good friends and if he thinks exploring where things would be a bad idea that you understand but would still like to remain friends. If he really is a friend he will get past it and you guys can move on as friends. Don't "FRIENDZONE" yourself forever and hold onto something that isn't there because you don't have the courage to at least ask and find out.

    I guess my main objection for asking him out or just blatantly telling him I like him is that he already has all of these other girls who are majorly interested. I don't want to be grouped together with them. His ego has become big enough already. That's why I thought I could either ask his sister, or just ask him who he was interested in. Does that make sense?
  • Posts: 7,166 Member
    How old are you OP?

    Tell him you like him. You are better than the "other girls". If he's not interested, great, move on. No more wondering.
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