Question for the ladies

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Replies

  • Sarahs2576
    Sarahs2576 Posts: 418 Member
    Just simply tell him you find him attractive and you would like to go on a date. Continue by saying that you realize you are good friends and if he thinks exploring where things would be a bad idea that you understand but would still like to remain friends. If he really is a friend he will get past it and you guys can move on as friends. Don't "FRIENDZONE" yourself forever and hold onto something that isn't there because you don't have the courage to at least ask and find out.

    I guess my main objection for asking him out or just blatantly telling him I like him is that he already has all of these other girls who are majorly interested. I don't want to be grouped together with them. His ego has become big enough already. That's why I thought I could either ask his sister, or just ask him who he was interested in. Does that make sense?

    Oh no....no no no.....don't ask his sister. If anything ask him. If he replies you are his type then you're in...if he doesn't don't get discouraged, he might feel shy about saying anything because of the friend issue but either way use it as your opportunity to ask if he ever considered the 2 of you seeing where things can go. If he says no then you make the choice if you want to remain his friend or not. DO NOT be his buddy unless you ONLY want to be his buddy.
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    How old are you OP?

    Tell him you like him. You are better than the "other girls". If he's not interested, great, move on. No more wondering.

    I'm a freshman in College... and don't you think he'd find that arrogant?
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    Just simply tell him you find him attractive and you would like to go on a date. Continue by saying that you realize you are good friends and if he thinks exploring where things would be a bad idea that you understand but would still like to remain friends. If he really is a friend he will get past it and you guys can move on as friends. Don't "FRIENDZONE" yourself forever and hold onto something that isn't there because you don't have the courage to at least ask and find out.

    I guess my main objection for asking him out or just blatantly telling him I like him is that he already has all of these other girls who are majorly interested. I don't want to be grouped together with them. His ego has become big enough already. That's why I thought I could either ask his sister, or just ask him who he was interested in. Does that make sense?

    Oh no....no no no.....don't ask his sister. If anything ask him. If he replies you are his type then you're in...if he doesn't don't get discouraged, he might feel shy about saying anything because of the friend issue but either way use it as your opportunity to ask if he ever considered the 2 of you seeing where things can go. If he says no then you make the choice if you want to remain his friend or not. DO NOT be his buddy unless you ONLY want to be his buddy.

    What if his sister is a pretty good friend knows I like him. Does that change anything?
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    Just simply tell him you find him attractive and you would like to go on a date. Continue by saying that you realize you are good friends and if he thinks exploring where things would be a bad idea that you understand but would still like to remain friends. If he really is a friend he will get past it and you guys can move on as friends. Don't "FRIENDZONE" yourself forever and hold onto something that isn't there because you don't have the courage to at least ask and find out.

    I guess my main objection for asking him out or just blatantly telling him I like him is that he already has all of these other girls who are majorly interested. I don't want to be grouped together with them. His ego has become big enough already. That's why I thought I could either ask his sister, or just ask him who he was interested in. Does that make sense?

    If you ask him who he's interested in what do you think the chances are he'll turn round & say you? (this isn't a movie. Men don't do that!) - Also if you ask his sister the same applies. At the end of the day you are all friend's he's not going to think badly of you for asking. I hate to say it but it's going to have to come from you. Seriously, you are over thinking this & tying yourself up in knots.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Just simply tell him you find him attractive and you would like to go on a date. Continue by saying that you realize you are good friends and if he thinks exploring where things would be a bad idea that you understand but would still like to remain friends. If he really is a friend he will get past it and you guys can move on as friends. Don't "FRIENDZONE" yourself forever and hold onto something that isn't there because you don't have the courage to at least ask and find out.

    I guess my main objection for asking him out or just blatantly telling him I like him is that he already has all of these other girls who are majorly interested. I don't want to be grouped together with them. His ego has become big enough already. That's why I thought I could either ask his sister, or just ask him who he was interested in. Does that make sense?

    So the plan to stand out in the crowd is to stand in the shadows?

    Food for thought... are you sure you really want him for who he is as a person or are you looking for "validation" in having a presumably hot and popular guy make a display of going after you?
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I'm also friends with his sister. Do you think I should ask her? She knows I'm interested in him, but she said she wouldn't tell him.

    Have her find out whether he's interested in you or someone else.

    Oh dear lord.

    What's your problem? She said she wanted to be as indirect as possible. If he's straight up uninterested she won't have to waste her time and she will not have made the friendship awkward.

    I think you are right. I think it's kinda weird fir the GIRL to ask the GUY out. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

    It's 2013 not 1950.

    Well, he is rather into tradition (he is quite a gentleman) so I don't know how he'd take it. And it rubs my the wrong way too...

    By that logic, since he is such a traditional gentleman, if he hasn't asked you out by now, then he isn't interested.

    Problem solved!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member

    It's not about putting the guy at risk of rejection. It's about the fact that men with balls will go after what they want, specially after being given a subtle green light. I have never had time for men who don't go after what they want. If I have to do the asking he must not want me enough.
    Ps dinner is ready and the second load is in the dryer.

    Riiiiiiiight.
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    Just simply tell him you find him attractive and you would like to go on a date. Continue by saying that you realize you are good friends and if he thinks exploring where things would be a bad idea that you understand but would still like to remain friends. If he really is a friend he will get past it and you guys can move on as friends. Don't "FRIENDZONE" yourself forever and hold onto something that isn't there because you don't have the courage to at least ask and find out.

    I guess my main objection for asking him out or just blatantly telling him I like him is that he already has all of these other girls who are majorly interested. I don't want to be grouped together with them. His ego has become big enough already. That's why I thought I could either ask his sister, or just ask him who he was interested in. Does that make sense?

    So the plan to stand out in the crowd is to stand in the shadows?

    Food for thought... are you sure you really want him for who he is as a person or are you looking for "validation" in having a presumably hot and popular guy make a display of going after you?

    I'm just visualising a Heath Ledger singing to Julia Stiles from the bleachers type moment.
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    I'm also friends with his sister. Do you think I should ask her? She knows I'm interested in him, but she said she wouldn't tell him.

    Have her find out whether he's interested in you or someone else.

    Oh dear lord.

    What's your problem? She said she wanted to be as indirect as possible. If he's straight up uninterested she won't have to waste her time and she will not have made the friendship awkward.

    I think you are right. I think it's kinda weird fir the GIRL to ask the GUY out. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

    It's 2013 not 1950.

    Well, he is rather into tradition (he is quite a gentleman) so I don't know how he'd take it. And it rubs my the wrong way too...

    By that logic, since he is such a traditional gentleman, if he hasn't asked you out by now, then he isn't interested.

    Problem solved!

    What if he is a shy gentleman?
  • I would say go for it and flat out ask
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    Just simply tell him you find him attractive and you would like to go on a date. Continue by saying that you realize you are good friends and if he thinks exploring where things would be a bad idea that you understand but would still like to remain friends. If he really is a friend he will get past it and you guys can move on as friends. Don't "FRIENDZONE" yourself forever and hold onto something that isn't there because you don't have the courage to at least ask and find out.

    I guess my main objection for asking him out or just blatantly telling him I like him is that he already has all of these other girls who are majorly interested. I don't want to be grouped together with them. His ego has become big enough already. That's why I thought I could either ask his sister, or just ask him who he was interested in. Does that make sense?

    So the plan to stand out in the crowd is to stand in the shadows?

    Food for thought... are you sure you really want him for who he is as a person or are you looking for "validation" in having a presumably hot and popular guy make a display of going after you?

    I noticed and was interested in him before he was popular. No... I don't want to stand in the shadows, but I also don't want to be begging at his feet.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I'm also friends with his sister. Do you think I should ask her? She knows I'm interested in him, but she said she wouldn't tell him.

    Have her find out whether he's interested in you or someone else.

    Oh dear lord.

    What's your problem? She said she wanted to be as indirect as possible. If he's straight up uninterested she won't have to waste her time and she will not have made the friendship awkward.

    I think you are right. I think it's kinda weird fir the GIRL to ask the GUY out. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

    It's 2013 not 1950.

    Well, he is rather into tradition (he is quite a gentleman) so I don't know how he'd take it. And it rubs my the wrong way too...

    By that logic, since he is such a traditional gentleman, if he hasn't asked you out by now, then he isn't interested.

    Problem solved!

    What if he is a shy gentleman?

    Then he is uncrackable, since you can never ask him out.
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    Okay guys, how about this. I ask his sister whom I know very well if she told him. If she did, I'll ask her what he said. If he said he was interested in me, then I would approach him. Sound like a plan?
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Okay guys, how about this. I ask his sister whom I know very well if she told him. If she did, I'll ask her what he said. If he said he was interested in me, then I would approach him. Sound like a plan?

    If his sister told him you're interested and he didn't make a move, wouldn't that mean he isn't interested?
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    Okay guys, how about this. I ask his sister whom I know very well if she told him. If she did, I'll ask her what he said. If he said he was interested in me, then I would approach him. Sound like a plan?

    If his sister told him you're interested and he didn't make a move, wouldn't that mean he isn't interested?

    not if he is not sure if he's ready, or I'm ready. We are both still in school, maybe he doesn't want to start anything till we graduate from College? And I don't know if I could wait that long to know how he feels.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    Ask him if he wants to hang out sometime? Then I try to get to know him, see where it goes. If I feel like he likes he back I would tell him. If I'm not sure, I usually let him take the lead. I've never really had a situation where I couldn't figure out if a guy liked me but if I really wanted to know I would just ask him.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Okay guys, how about this. I ask his sister whom I know very well if she told him. If she did, I'll ask her what he said. If he said he was interested in me, then I would approach him. Sound like a plan?

    If his sister told him you're interested and he didn't make a move, wouldn't that mean he isn't interested?

    not if he is not sure if he's ready, or I'm ready. We are both still in school, maybe he doesn't want to start anything till we graduate from College? And I don't know if I could wait that long to know how he feels.

    Yeaaaaaah. Guys tend not to overcomplicate things like that.
  • missmelt
    missmelt Posts: 923 Member
    Just say "hey, I like you. Let's do the sex"

    Works everytime.


    so true!!! I wish guys would just come out and say it.

    Im a very forward person I think being honest is the best way to be.
  • I'm just blunt... And I'd say it...

    But I understand where you're at.

    If you had his sister ask, she'd have to ask a round about way.. Like "you and xxx would make a cute couple" and see his reply.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I love you, Amy Pond.
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    Okay guys, how about this. I ask his sister whom I know very well if she told him. If she did, I'll ask her what he said. If he said he was interested in me, then I would approach him. Sound like a plan?

    If his sister told him you're interested and he didn't make a move, wouldn't that mean he isn't interested?

    not if he is not sure if he's ready, or I'm ready. We are both still in school, maybe he doesn't want to start anything till we graduate from College? And I don't know if I could wait that long to know how he feels.

    Yeaaaaaah. Guys tend not to overcomplicate things like that.

    Maybe he's rather secretive... and shy?
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    I'm just blunt... And I'd say it...

    But I understand where you're at.

    If you had his sister ask, she'd have to ask a round about way.. Like "you and xxx would make a cute couple" and see his reply.

    so you think I should ask her??? maybe?
  • Dunkirk
    Dunkirk Posts: 465 Member
    Watch the movie "Legally Blonde" together, do the 'bend and snap' right after, and see if you get a reaction :-)
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Write him a note
    do-you-like-me-no-or-no_large.jpg
  • I think both people in general complicate things to a great degree when it comes to these things, because we have about a million and one other things we think about, including our self esteem. That's why I am going to be sensitive and not just tell you to go and tell him, as sometimes that is just not what someone is comfortable doing, unless you are then I would say it really uncomplicates some things.

    However, I would try to just focus on how you feel, and try to read him, be expressive and see if he is giving you the confidence to tell him, hey you may get rejected but in all honesty it's a relief as opposed to overthinking it all the time.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Okay guys, how about this. I ask his sister whom I know very well if she told him. If she did, I'll ask her what he said. If he said he was interested in me, then I would approach him. Sound like a plan?

    If his sister told him you're interested and he didn't make a move, wouldn't that mean he isn't interested?

    not if he is not sure if he's ready, or I'm ready. We are both still in school, maybe he doesn't want to start anything till we graduate from College? And I don't know if I could wait that long to know how he feels.

    Yeaaaaaah. Guys tend not to overcomplicate things like that.

    Maybe he's rather secretive... and shy?

    I am shy as well. If I know a girl I like likes me back, even I'd go for it. And yes, I do like when a girl lets me know she's interested before I pursue anything.
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    Okay guys, how about this. I ask his sister whom I know very well if she told him. If she did, I'll ask her what he said. If he said he was interested in me, then I would approach him. Sound like a plan?

    If his sister told him you're interested and he didn't make a move, wouldn't that mean he isn't interested?

    not if he is not sure if he's ready, or I'm ready. We are both still in school, maybe he doesn't want to start anything till we graduate from College? And I don't know if I could wait that long to know how he feels.

    Yeaaaaaah. Guys tend not to overcomplicate things like that.

    Maybe he's rather secretive... and shy?

    I am shy as well. If I know a girl I like likes me back, even I'd go for it. And yes, I do like when a girl lets me know she's interested before I pursue anything.

    Okay, so do you approve of my plan? :laugh:
  • Carissa145
    Carissa145 Posts: 604 Member
    I think both people in general complicate things to a great degree when it comes to these things, because we have about a million and one other things we think about, including our self esteem. That's why I am going to be sensitive and not just tell you to go and tell him, as sometimes that is just not what someone is comfortable doing, unless you are then I would say it really uncomplicates some things.

    However, I would try to just focus on how you feel, and try to read him, be expressive and see if he is giving you the confidence to tell him, hey you may get rejected but in all honesty it's a relief as opposed to overthinking it all the time.

    Great point! thanks!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Okay guys, how about this. I ask his sister whom I know very well if she told him. If she did, I'll ask her what he said. If he said he was interested in me, then I would approach him. Sound like a plan?

    If his sister told him you're interested and he didn't make a move, wouldn't that mean he isn't interested?

    not if he is not sure if he's ready, or I'm ready. We are both still in school, maybe he doesn't want to start anything till we graduate from College? And I don't know if I could wait that long to know how he feels.

    Yeaaaaaah. Guys tend not to overcomplicate things like that.

    Maybe he's rather secretive... and shy?

    I am shy as well. If I know a girl I like likes me back, even I'd go for it. And yes, I do like when a girl lets me know she's interested before I pursue anything.

    Okay, so do you approve of my plan? :laugh:

    To ask his sister? No. I think that is usual girl game playing and things are best when direct.
  • I'm just blunt... And I'd say it...

    But I understand where you're at.

    If you had his sister ask, she'd have to ask a round about way.. Like "you and xxx would make a cute couple" and see his reply.

    so you think I should ask her??? maybe?

    If I weren't going to flat out say "I like you, so ***** you're mine..." Then yes, that's how id do it.

    If he blushes or agrees with her, then ask him out or maybe he'll ask you out. Or she can say "I think she likes you" if he says he likes you.