Do not eat sandwiches
Replies
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Got a PM Asking where I got my information for this thread from.
I replied that most of the sources were in the thread and many were supplied by the King of Science.
This is the 100%, no joke, copy pasted reply
Really this is what I get when I ask for you information. YOU TELL ME TO READ A 16 PAGE BLOG AND LOOK FOR SOME OTHER USER THANKS DON'T BOTHER TO RECONSIDER AND HAVE CHANGE OF HEART...THANKS FOR NOTHING. YOUR YOUR GOING TO SHOW CARE AND CONCERN FOR THE COMMUNITY AND POST WARNINGS AND FDA FINDING BE PREPARED TO HELP THE INDIVIDUAL THAT ASK FOR INFORMATION AS WELL
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I'd rather eat a different kind of sandwich...0
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I'd rather eat a different kind of sandwich...
Do tell...0 -
I'd rather eat a different kind of sandwich...
Do tell...
Yeah you better cause my minds going in a million different directions and all of them are pretty gross directions. Is salad involved?0 -
This made my day!!0
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As a representative of Sandwich Corp, I am disheartened by much of what I have read here today. We, and sandwiches, have always been there for you. Through your elementary school days, on picnic's, late at night when you couldn't even find a friend, we were just a trip to the kitchen away. For you to turn on us, through the hate filled propaganda spewed by this "mutant" person, I am just . . . well, when you find yourself with hunger pangs, and only bread and meat in the house (or a suitable spread) - we will once again be there fo you.
We will never turn our backs on you. We love you all, and we know you love us in return.
This has been a public service announcement by Sandwich Corp.
Do not let SandwichCorp appeal to your sentimentality!
Yes, they were there for you- peering over your shoulder as you shamefully scoffed a ham and Swiss in front of your computer
They were there for your children- whispering in their ears over their Pb&J, teaching them that culinary evolution is a lie!
They were there for your parents- feeding them cabbage and brisket and teaching them to commit hate crimes against celiacs.
SandwichCorp was there for you- LIKE HITLER WAS THERE FOR THE NAZIS!
That is a little bit over the top. . .
We have never recommended putting cabbage and brisket together.
That's interesting.
Because in this quote from 1941, your then president Lucifer Onepercent said
"You guys should totally eat cabbage and brisket sandwiches. It will be f*ckin awesome"
The quote, taken in its entirety reads:
"I would never say something as improbable as, you guys should eat cabbage and brisket sandwiches. It will be f*ckin awesome, when we can strike this intestinal abomination from existence."
Come back, we welcome you with open arms, and all the condiments your heart desires.
Most sincerely,
Sandwich Corp
EDITED TO ADD: SHOW NO MERCY (Sorry do not know how to make it smaller to fit screen....it has a sammich virus)0 -
Oh god thanks..good to know, I will not eat the sandwich in front of me.... I will mix instead chocolate cookies with pickles,jam,honey,nutella,chips and hotdogs...that should help me kill any sandwiches left inside me!
:laugh:0 -
Oh god thanks..good to know, I will not eat the sandwich in front of me.... I will mix instead chocolate cookies with pickles,jam,honey,nutella,chips and hotdogs...that should help me kill any sandwiches left inside me!
:laugh:
your intestines will implode if you eat that combo0 -
Oh god thanks..good to know, I will not eat the sandwich in front of me.... I will mix instead chocolate cookies with pickles,jam,honey,nutella,chips and hotdogs...that should help me kill any sandwiches left inside me!
:laugh:
your intestines will implode if you eat that combo
That should kill the sandwiches right good!0 -
I got sandwiched the other day. I curled up on the floor my shower in a fetal position and cried for an hour, but I've had trouble moving on since.0
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I agree...that's why I had a dunkaccino and a chocolate cake donut from DD this morning for breakfast. Safe!Guys we need to blow the lid open on the sandwich industry0 -
Got a PM Asking where I got my information for this thread from.
I replied that most of the sources were in the thread and many were supplied by the King of Science.
This is the 100%, no joke, copy pasted reply
Really this is what I get when I ask for you information. YOU TELL ME TO READ A 16 PAGE BLOG AND LOOK FOR SOME OTHER USER THANKS DON'T BOTHER TO RECONSIDER AND HAVE CHANGE OF HEART...THANKS FOR NOTHING. YOUR YOUR GOING TO SHOW CARE AND CONCERN FOR THE COMMUNITY AND POST WARNINGS AND FDA FINDING BE PREPARED TO HELP THE INDIVIDUAL THAT ASK FOR INFORMATION AS WELL
Well, I happen to agree. The King of Science should not hide his bushel under an basket, he should take his rightful place as KING OF THIS THREAD (of which, naturally, you are the QUEEN) and his knowledge should be spread far and wide (and even hither and yon) across the land so that more peasants can avoid the 'food within a food' plague which has swept this small burg. Perhaps a decree written with a quill pen on several rolls of parchment paper could then be scanned and posted on this very website, so that all the innocent citizens begging for information could subsequently become enlightened. I recommend that this decree should be written in all caps to designate its importance and make it easier for said naves comprehend.
What say ye?
The science king is a solitary man, he wishes to stay and watch his subjects from afar. He is, however, looking for a new squire. Are you interested?0 -
I'd rather eat a different kind of sandwich...
Do tell...
Oooooh, a Mister Universe sandwich! Hi Mister Universe!0 -
Got a PM Asking where I got my information for this thread from.
I replied that most of the sources were in the thread and many were supplied by the King of Science.
This is the 100%, no joke, copy pasted reply
Really this is what I get when I ask for you information. YOU TELL ME TO READ A 16 PAGE BLOG AND LOOK FOR SOME OTHER USER THANKS DON'T BOTHER TO RECONSIDER AND HAVE CHANGE OF HEART...THANKS FOR NOTHING. YOUR YOUR GOING TO SHOW CARE AND CONCERN FOR THE COMMUNITY AND POST WARNINGS AND FDA FINDING BE PREPARED TO HELP THE INDIVIDUAL THAT ASK FOR INFORMATION AS WELL
Well, I happen to agree. The King of Science should not hide his bushel under an basket, he should take his rightful place as KING OF THIS THREAD (of which, naturally, you are the QUEEN) and his knowledge should be spread far and wide (and even hither and yon) across the land so that more peasants can avoid the 'food within a food' plague which has swept this small burg. Perhaps a decree written with a quill pen on several rolls of parchment paper could then be scanned and posted on this very website, so that all the innocent citizens begging for information could subsequently become enlightened. I recommend that this decree should be written in all caps to designate its importance and make it easier for said naves comprehend.
What say ye?
The science king is a solitary man, he wishes to stay and watch his subjects from afar. He is, however, looking for a new squire. Are you interested?
Why is the science monarchy always headed by a man? Getting damn sick of it I think it's time for a queen. They were going to vote for Madame Curie, but she had to go and get all irradiated. Then they were going to vote for Rosalind Franklin, but damn Watson & Crick stole her scepter. I'm just tired of the same old male patriarchy driven science. Now with the science king all it's about is sandwiches and super colliders...boring!0 -
Well I, for one, welcome our new sandwich overlords.0
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This thread has been awesome!!!!0
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Baaaa... English is not my first lang and I have difficulty understanding what you meant!!What about sandwiches we make ourselves at home ? ;-)
Are you really making them for yourself?? Where art the hand that play thine strings, puppet? Sandwich corp just wants you to think that you're making the sandwich for yourself
Eating sandwiches has destroyed her ability to understand our language, at this point we cannot warn her of the serious dangers... It is too late for her. :frown:0 -
Got a PM Asking where I got my information for this thread from.
I replied that most of the sources were in the thread and many were supplied by the King of Science.
This is the 100%, no joke, copy pasted reply
Really this is what I get when I ask for you information. YOU TELL ME TO READ A 16 PAGE BLOG AND LOOK FOR SOME OTHER USER THANKS DON'T BOTHER TO RECONSIDER AND HAVE CHANGE OF HEART...THANKS FOR NOTHING. YOUR YOUR GOING TO SHOW CARE AND CONCERN FOR THE COMMUNITY AND POST WARNINGS AND FDA FINDING BE PREPARED TO HELP THE INDIVIDUAL THAT ASK FOR INFORMATION AS WELL
The only legitimate explanation is: Heroin Sandwiches0 -
What about tortilla wraps? Can I eat those?
Wraps may be OK.
Remember the Evil Earl of Sandwich focuses his dread powers by using two slices of bread.
Never consume a bread like food that has multiple layers. Souvlaki, Tortilla wraps and Rotis will be safe so long as there is only one flour based item and it is rolled in the shape considered by the majority of the galaxy's Bro-Scientist to be healthful: the cylinder. On this basis don't be deceived by the Earl and Sandwich Corp into eating similar but evil items such as quesadillas which contain two tortillas in layers.
Remember you are always safest consuming wholesome whey isolates in shake form.0 -
Did someone say sammich?
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how can i tell people to go make me a sammich if i dont eat said sammich afterwards? it would be insulting0
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Did you try to steal my sammich?
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Wait. Are you saying sammiches are bad?
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how can i tell people to go make me a sammich if i dont eat said sammich afterwards? it would be insulting
If they make the sandwich then you will have revealed one of the Dark Earl's minions hidden among us. Immediately slaughter them smoke and air cure their filthy carcass.
Down with the Earl of Sandwich0 -
This has been an hour at work well-spent. You've helped to create a database to which I can refer when I receive random friend requests and need to filter them.
And I learned a lot.
OP, you would be my hero if you didn't hate cats.0 -
Should I stop exposing my plants to radiation and hydrogen monoxide? How am I going to stop them and me being exposed to all that carbon dioxide in the air though?
Also, look into the dangers of oxygen. A 50-50 mix of oxygen and any fuel in the air, even icing sugar, is highly explosive. It also makes metals rust and makes apples turn brown and basically oxidises anything it can get it's pernicious little atoms into.... have you been investigating this? I think we should all stop breathing. I mean *everyone* who breathes dies.....
As I have postulated, plant foods should not be included in your diet.
Oxygen is a chemical, already by that virtue it is extremely dangerous. You know what comes before Oxygen on the periodic table? NITROGEN! The chemical responsible for 'the bends'! Coincidence? I think not
but how do I give up breathing? When I try, I get breathing withdrawal symptoms that start with feeling really terrible and having this desperate desire to breathe again, followed by loss of consciousness. So going cold turkey from it is obviously not working.... is there any way I can wean myself off it slowly?
You need to allow yourself to pass out. This allow your body to reset itself an adjust to living without oxygen
Thank you kindly for this extremely helpful advice. Right after reading it, I did just what you said. In fact, I went one step further and made sure that when I passed out, my face would fall onto a roll of cling-film, to ensure that I didn't fall back into breathing again after losing consciousness (I've heard that's quite common)... I had originally thought of having my face fall into a bowl of water, then I remembered that it was made of the deadly dihydrogen monoxide so had to axe that plan.... anyway, I did that, and first went unconscious, then I dropped dead, and then my fairy godmother appeared out of nowhere and reanimated my lifeless corpse, and now I no longer breathe at all, so thankfully no more deadly, explosive oxygen is getting into my system. All I want to eat now are brains. Yummy, juicy, delicious brains.... totally natural and non-toxic brains.
My problem now is, I need to know where I can find a good supply of human brains that are free from oxygen, dihydrogen monoxide and sandwiches. Most people are addicted to those things and I fear that if I eat their brains, it might trigger cravings for these things, so I think it's better if I stick to eating brains from people who avoid those things, just to be on the safe side0 -
Not sure if the author of this post is a troll or just dumb. :noway:
Theoretically, if you couldn't tell, the intellectual failure might lie elsewhere.
:laugh:0 -
Should I stop exposing my plants to radiation and hydrogen monoxide? How am I going to stop them and me being exposed to all that carbon dioxide in the air though?
Also, look into the dangers of oxygen. A 50-50 mix of oxygen and any fuel in the air, even icing sugar, is highly explosive. It also makes metals rust and makes apples turn brown and basically oxidises anything it can get it's pernicious little atoms into.... have you been investigating this? I think we should all stop breathing. I mean *everyone* who breathes dies.....
As I have postulated, plant foods should not be included in your diet.
Oxygen is a chemical, already by that virtue it is extremely dangerous. You know what comes before Oxygen on the periodic table? NITROGEN! The chemical responsible for 'the bends'! Coincidence? I think not
but how do I give up breathing? When I try, I get breathing withdrawal symptoms that start with feeling really terrible and having this desperate desire to breathe again, followed by loss of consciousness. So going cold turkey from it is obviously not working.... is there any way I can wean myself off it slowly?
You need to allow yourself to pass out. This allow your body to reset itself an adjust to living without oxygen
Thank you kindly for this extremely helpful advice. Right after reading it, I did just what you said. In fact, I went one step further and made sure that when I passed out, my face would fall onto a roll of cling-film, to ensure that I didn't fall back into breathing again after losing consciousness (I've heard that's quite common)... I had originally thought of having my face fall into a bowl of water, then I remembered that it was made of the deadly dihydrogen monoxide so had to axe that plan.... anyway, I did that, and first went unconscious, then I dropped dead, and then my fairy godmother appeared out of nowhere and reanimated my lifeless corpse, and now I no longer breathe at all, so thankfully no more deadly, explosive oxygen is getting into my system. All I want to eat now are brains. Yummy, juicy, delicious brains.... totally natural and non-toxic brains.
My problem now is, I need to know where I can find a good supply of human brains that are free from oxygen, dihydrogen monoxide and sandwiches. Most people are addicted to those things and I fear that if I eat their brains, it might trigger cravings for these things, so I think it's better if I stick to eating brains from people who avoid those things, just to be on the safe side
You should feed off the brains if the people who don't understand this thread, their brains have nothing in them0 -
make up has all of that and more.0
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make up has all of that and more.
Haha! 20 pages and they just keep adding to it!0
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