School bullies picking on my son.....any advice??

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Replies

  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    A loud parent is a good parent. Never worry about making waves. Protect your child. While I understand the inclincation to confront the kids who are actually bullying your son, addressing the issue with the school and even requesting that they get the parents to come in to talk together would be your best move.

    Lastly, talk to your son. Ask questions. Some kids have incredible resiliency and can shake this kind of stuff off. Others are affected greatly by bullying. Be sure he knows he can talk to you at any time about anything. Do some research about child resiliency and see if there is anything you can learn to help him build his up.

    I tend to think that leads to entitlement issues and an expectation that your parents will always come to the rescue. Life isn't nice or caring or fair.
  • IronPhyllida
    IronPhyllida Posts: 533 Member
    Hi - hope this doesnt sound controversial but confronting the kids directly will only make it tougher for your kid during the next break. I'm afraid you're going to have to advise your child to man up and fight back.
    I'm saying this from personal experience, I was bullied when I was a kid and having parents get involved as in speaking to the kids directly only made it worse in the playground.
    PM me if you see fit.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member
    Same advice I gave my son when he was being bullied: "lose your temper and punch them in the face".

    The school I attended from age 11 to 16 had an appalling culture of bullying and the acceptance of bullying. Both between the pupils and from some of the teachers towards the children.

    The way to make it stop is to be prepared to stand up for yourself and fight back. Bullies much prefer a soft target and it's well worth taking a few knocks along the way to keep your self-respect.
  • jlarocco5
    jlarocco5 Posts: 1 Member
    If you really wanna eff it up than get the school administration involved. They make awful decisions 100% of the time.
  • Brown523
    Brown523 Posts: 112 Member
    What you need to do is put your son into some type of martial arts so he can defend himself.

    I agree with this whole heartedly! The problem with kids today is they are not taught to stand up for themselves.
  • paleojoe
    paleojoe Posts: 442 Member
    What you need to do is put your son into some type of martial arts so he can defend himself.

    I agree with this whole heartedly! The problem with kids today is they are not taught to stand up for themselves.

    Yep... my song just turned 3 and we are signing him up.
  • paleojoe
    paleojoe Posts: 442 Member
    A loud parent is a good parent. Never worry about making waves. Protect your child. While I understand the inclincation to confront the kids who are actually bullying your son, addressing the issue with the school and even requesting that they get the parents to come in to talk together would be your best move.

    Lastly, talk to your son. Ask questions. Some kids have incredible resiliency and can shake this kind of stuff off. Others are affected greatly by bullying. Be sure he knows he can talk to you at any time about anything. Do some research about child resiliency and see if there is anything you can learn to help him build his up.

    I tend to think that leads to entitlement issues and an expectation that your parents will always come to the rescue. Life isn't nice or caring or fair.

    How so? Do you have kids?
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
    A loud parent is a good parent. Never worry about making waves. Protect your child. While I understand the inclincation to confront the kids who are actually bullying your son, addressing the issue with the school and even requesting that they get the parents to come in to talk together would be your best move.

    Lastly, talk to your son. Ask questions. Some kids have incredible resiliency and can shake this kind of stuff off. Others are affected greatly by bullying. Be sure he knows he can talk to you at any time about anything. Do some research about child resiliency and see if there is anything you can learn to help him build his up.

    I tend to think that leads to entitlement issues and an expectation that your parents will always come to the rescue. Life isn't nice or caring or fair.

    I don't think that sticking up for your child, and sitting them down and explaining things to them leads to entitlement issues. Especially when the OP stated her child was 6.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    A loud parent is a good parent. Never worry about making waves. Protect your child. While I understand the inclincation to confront the kids who are actually bullying your son, addressing the issue with the school and even requesting that they get the parents to come in to talk together would be your best move.

    Lastly, talk to your son. Ask questions. Some kids have incredible resiliency and can shake this kind of stuff off. Others are affected greatly by bullying. Be sure he knows he can talk to you at any time about anything. Do some research about child resiliency and see if there is anything you can learn to help him build his up.

    I tend to think that leads to entitlement issues and an expectation that your parents will always come to the rescue. Life isn't nice or caring or fair.

    How so?

    If the parent is always protecting them or their to catch them when they fall, how can they learn to protect themselves or get up and dust themselves off.
  • flywithgeorge
    flywithgeorge Posts: 62 Member
    Have you ever seen this Youtube video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isfn4OxCPQs
    Not to advocate violence but I wonder if the bully is still a bully
  • SailorKnightWing
    SailorKnightWing Posts: 875 Member
    The problem with teaching your child to fight back is that bullies are very good at hiding the abuse they dole out, while a child who defends himself is not. With almost no variance, once a bullied child fights back he's the one to get in trouble while the bully himself gets off Scott Free. Bullies know exactly what they're doing and how to not get caught. If a teacher or principal doesn't believe the child, arm him with a recording device of some kind. Teach him how to use it discretely. Don't let the school deny this is happening.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    A loud parent is a good parent. Never worry about making waves. Protect your child. While I understand the inclincation to confront the kids who are actually bullying your son, addressing the issue with the school and even requesting that they get the parents to come in to talk together would be your best move.

    Lastly, talk to your son. Ask questions. Some kids have incredible resiliency and can shake this kind of stuff off. Others are affected greatly by bullying. Be sure he knows he can talk to you at any time about anything. Do some research about child resiliency and see if there is anything you can learn to help him build his up.

    I tend to think that leads to entitlement issues and an expectation that your parents will always come to the rescue. Life isn't nice or caring or fair.

    I don't think that sticking up for your child, and sitting them down and explaining things to them leads to entitlement issues. Especially when the OP stated her child was 6.

    Talking to your child is one thing, and yes I read the OP. Protecting/being loud/making waves is another in my opinion.
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
    You wouldn't protect your 6 year old child from bullies? Youd just tell them to "suck it up"?
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    I dont' have any children, but I have seen my sister-in-law (she is in high school now) end up having to go through some bullying. My mother-in-law documented and photographed everything (what happened to her was web-based so she printed out all the stuff both in word document and by screen shots) and basically said that if the school wouldnt' do anything then she would be taking it to the police and pressing charges. She was willing to go as far as to the press for help if it came down to that. Luckily it was nipped in the butt, and a lot of other kids came out and were talking about what had happened to them. Needless to say, the child who was doing the bullying was dealt with accordingly.

    Just stand your ground on this and be willing to go as far you need to to ensure the safety of your child.
    Your sister in law threatened to call the cops on a child over "web based teasing" and you are PROUD of it.


    WHAT KIND OF ****ING DISGUSTING MONSTER ARE YOU.

    Is there an ignore button on this site? Be assured, if there is I am putting you on it immediately.

    edit: you are on my ignore list. Do not try to respond to this, it won't work.

    You do know that Cyber-bullying is against the law now, don't you?
    Where have you been the last couple of years? Do you not watch the news and see the stories of kids committing suicide over the nasty threats that some of these kids are posting and texting to other kids?
    If the school and the parents do not put a stop to it, then taking it to the authorities is sometimes required.

    ETA Feel free to put me on ignore as well, and continue to keep your head in the sand.
  • TheLung
    TheLung Posts: 58
    We had a problem and the school did nothing. So I informed the school he would be taking a Martial Arts and if it happens again he has permission to defend himself and if it continues I would be contacting the news. We never had another issue.

    He is now a Senior Brown Belt in Hap Ki Do and I highly suggest some form of Martial Arts.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    You wouldn't protect your 6 year old child from bullies? Youd just tell them to "suck it up"?

    I think, even from a young age, kids can and should be taught to protect themselves. That doesn't necessarily mean teaching them how to fight.
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
    My niece and nephew were bullied. My niece wont stand up for herself . Sis in law asked my opinion. I told my nephew to knock the bullys damn teeth out if he ever hit him again. I explained that he would be suspended for defending himself for two days. But his teachers and principal pick on him as well (he has aspergers).

    I also said on the days he was suspended, i would take him bowling. My mom always taught me not to start a fight, but if someone hit me i had better lay them out.
  • paleojoe
    paleojoe Posts: 442 Member
    A loud parent is a good parent. Never worry about making waves. Protect your child. While I understand the inclincation to confront the kids who are actually bullying your son, addressing the issue with the school and even requesting that they get the parents to come in to talk together would be your best move.

    Lastly, talk to your son. Ask questions. Some kids have incredible resiliency and can shake this kind of stuff off. Others are affected greatly by bullying. Be sure he knows he can talk to you at any time about anything. Do some research about child resiliency and see if there is anything you can learn to help him build his up.

    I tend to think that leads to entitlement issues and an expectation that your parents will always come to the rescue. Life isn't nice or caring or fair.

    I don't think that sticking up for your child, and sitting them down and explaining things to them leads to entitlement issues. Especially when the OP stated her child was 6.

    Talking to your child is one thing, and yes I read the OP. Protecting/being loud/making waves is another in my opinion.

    So protecting your child, being loud, making waves leads to entitlement... how so?
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    A loud parent is a good parent. Never worry about making waves. Protect your child. While I understand the inclincation to confront the kids who are actually bullying your son, addressing the issue with the school and even requesting that they get the parents to come in to talk together would be your best move.

    Lastly, talk to your son. Ask questions. Some kids have incredible resiliency and can shake this kind of stuff off. Others are affected greatly by bullying. Be sure he knows he can talk to you at any time about anything. Do some research about child resiliency and see if there is anything you can learn to help him build his up.

    I tend to think that leads to entitlement issues and an expectation that your parents will always come to the rescue. Life isn't nice or caring or fair.

    I don't think that sticking up for your child, and sitting them down and explaining things to them leads to entitlement issues. Especially when the OP stated her child was 6.

    Talking to your child is one thing, and yes I read the OP. Protecting/being loud/making waves is another in my opinion.
    yep...being loud or making waves will get you nowhere and possibly make it worse for the child.
  • blownsi
    blownsi Posts: 3 Member
    One thing I do know for certain is that if you want your kid to get beat-up then go to the principal. The bully will most definately take out any punishment he receives on your son. Right now the bully has many victims but give him a reason and your son will become his #1 target.

    I also agree with the martial arts not because it will teach him to fight but because he will learn self respect. He will learn how to defend himself if he needs to but more importantly the bullies will learn that he is not a victim. They will move on to a weaker target.

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