Why is there SO MUCH negativity here?!

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Replies

  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    I roll my eyes at every 'welcome to the internet' response. *****es, I grew up with the internet. Its changed, and has become an integral part of peoples lives now - as such, normal social guidelines need to start being acknowledged. This is the only board I frequent that still has members saying 'errr its the internet' as an excuse for being a jerk.

    Maybe as a general rule of thumb... If you wouldn't say it irl, then its probably mean.

    Go look for the "nice" on Twitter then where there are no rules, no language filters, no guidelines or moderators. I'm sure all those people are conforming to your normal social guidelines.
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
    Supporting is not telling people what they want to here, but telling people what they need to hear...
  • KeViN_v2pt0
    KeViN_v2pt0 Posts: 375 Member
    Oh, look, another "people are mean" thread.

    Let's see.... a calorie deficit is required to lose weight. A deficit is negative. Thereby explaining all of the negativity.

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  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    I roll my eyes at every 'welcome to the internet' response. *****es, I grew up with the internet. Its changed, and has become an integral part of peoples lives now - as such, normal social guidelines need to start being acknowledged. This is the only board I frequent that still has members saying 'errr its the internet' as an excuse for being a jerk.

    Maybe as a general rule of thumb... If you wouldn't say it irl, then its probably mean.

    you missed the growing up part.


    Pro tip - us "Old Folks" (some of us have actually been on the internet since the 80's - you know, before they added pictures for the kids) actually speak online EXACTLY the way we would in person. Some of us hold back online. You're welcome.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Honestly, OP, threads like this seem much more negative and divisive than the average paleo/sugar/vegan/etc. thread. Like others have said, debate can be healthy. Blind support isn't really support at all. Some people respond better to tough love. And so on.

    If you post a thread and you get 20 positive responses and 3 that you deem negative (I suspect our definitions of negative are very very different, but I digress), and you choose to focus on those "negative" posts, and then you go off to start a new thread to rant about all the negativity, then you are taking one small negative thing and magnifying it into a lot more negativity. Instead, why not focus on the responses that were helpful to you?

    To me the gifs, snark, and sarcasm make things interesting and fun. I don't respond well to sugar-coating, and if that's all there was in this community I'd be very unhappy here. For you maybe the opposite is true. There's nothing wrong with that (except that my way is right. :wink: ) On the internet, just like in life, you have to take what helps you and ignore the rest.


    TL;DR: don't be this chick:

    addams_zpsb8f8af61.gif
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I roll my eyes at every 'welcome to the internet' response. *****es, I grew up with the internet. Its changed, and has become an integral part of peoples lives now - as such, normal social guidelines need to start being acknowledged. This is the only board I frequent that still has members saying 'errr its the internet' as an excuse for being a jerk.

    Maybe as a general rule of thumb... If you wouldn't say it irl, then its probably mean.

    So what you're saying is that even though the people who have been on the internet since before the "normal" people have their own culture, methods of communicating, and understood rules/etiquette, they should change all of that because the new people coming in don't like it? That seems like the opposite of what should happen to me.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    Isn't this supposed to be a place of support?

    No
  • Chevy_Quest
    Chevy_Quest Posts: 2,012 Member
    The people that really reached inside themselves and learned how to get fit and healthy often write posts thanking the "mean" people that they encountered when they were new to the forums. These people had the ability to "look at the big picture", swallow some pride and read.

    Then, they started to see more positive information, make friends, join groups (which are generally super positive), and "craft" their experience here. As this went on... the negative people were ignored, or in some cases were appreciated for their cutting edge, humor, and wit.
  • KnM0107
    KnM0107 Posts: 355 Member
    There will always be negativity, just like in RL. This place is no different than any other forum. I try to read posts without giving it a personality. They are just words. Take the advice you feel will help you and leave the rest behind. You can also put people on ignore and you won't have to see it all.
  • LuLuChick78
    LuLuChick78 Posts: 439 Member
    Honestly, OP, threads like this seem much more negative and divisive than the average paleo/sugar/vegan/etc. thread. Like others have said, debate can be healthy. Blind support isn't really support at all. Some people respond better to tough love. And so on.

    If you post a thread and you get 20 positive responses and 3 that you deem negative (I suspect our definitions of negative are very very different, but I digress), and you choose to focus on those "negative" posts, and then you go off to start a new thread to rant about all the negativity, then you are taking one small negative thing and magnifying it into a lot more negativity. Instead, why not focus on the responses that were helpful to you?

    To me the gifs, snark, and sarcasm make things interesting and fun. I don't respond well to sugar-coating, and if that's all there was in this community I'd be very unhappy here. For you maybe the opposite is true. There's nothing wrong with that (except that my way is right. :wink: ) On the internet, just like in life, you have to take what helps you and ignore the rest.


    TL;DR: don't be this chick:

    addams_zpsb8f8af61.gif

    :flowerforyou: :drinker: I may have to send you a friend request because of that...
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    WE'RE ALL HERE FOR THE SAME REASON!!!!!!
  • GGDaddy
    GGDaddy Posts: 289 Member
    .
  • ChristineinMA
    ChristineinMA Posts: 312 Member
    Fat and angry, duh.

    And don't forget hungry
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    I roll my eyes at every 'welcome to the internet' response. *****es, I grew up with the internet. Its changed, and has become an integral part of peoples lives now - as such, normal social guidelines need to start being acknowledged. This is the only board I frequent that still has members saying 'errr its the internet' as an excuse for being a jerk.

    Maybe as a general rule of thumb... If you wouldn't say it irl, then its probably mean.

    you missed the growing up part.


    Pro tip - us "Old Folks" (some of us have actually been on the internet since the 80's - you know, before they added pictures for the kids) actually speak online EXACTLY the way we would in person. Some of us hold back online. You're welcome.

    telixscreen.gif

    1337 haxxors n ur bbs stealing all ur internetz.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Fat and angry, duh.

    And don't forget hungry

    And this isn't negative right?
  • autihill
    autihill Posts: 23 Member
    they HANGRY


    ^Can I get an AMEN? LOL :laugh:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Fat and angry, duh.

    And don't forget hungry

    And this isn't negative right?
    It's not the least bit nasty or insulting.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I roll my eyes at every 'welcome to the internet' response. *****es, I grew up with the internet. Its changed, and has become an integral part of peoples lives now - as such, normal social guidelines need to start being acknowledged. This is the only board I frequent that still has members saying 'errr its the internet' as an excuse for being a jerk.

    Maybe as a general rule of thumb... If you wouldn't say it irl, then its probably mean.
    http://24.media.tumblr.com/45d2908b7a1d2b789b18f786954f0bc3/tumblr_mjbipyzkBC1qdqrpco1_1280.png

    FAIL...
    1306235605_men_in_black_putting_on_glasses_fail.gif
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    they HANGRY


    ^Can I get an AMEN? LOL :laugh:

    And you bring such a ray of positivity to the thread... right? :flowerforyou:
  • smc864
    smc864 Posts: 570 Member
    Les MFPerables

    There was a time when posters were kind
    When their tone was soft
    And their words encouraging
    There was a time when cardio was fine
    And MFP was a song
    And MFP friends were inviting
    Then it all…went…wrong

    I dreamed a dream in bandwidth gone by
    When motivation was high
    And logging on worth doing
    I dreamed the MFP site would never die
    I dreamed the Mods would be forgiving
    Then I was a noob and unafraid
    And strikes were made and used and wasted
    There was no reason to be made

    No post untrolled
    No joke unwasted
    But the bullies come at night
    With their mean words soft as thunder
    As they tear your hope apart
    And turn your gurney to shame
    MFP filled my days with endless distraction
    It took my productivity in real life
    But it was gone when I deactivate
    And still I dream I’ll recreate
    That we’ll live our days online
    But there are dreams that cannot be
    And there are threads we cannot weather
    I had a dream my MFP experience would be
    So different from this hell I’m logging
    So different now from what it seemed
    Now your thread has killed
    The dream I dreamed

    now-life-has-killed-the-dream-i-dreamed.gif

    You're my hero. :flowerforyou:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    This is the only board I frequent that still has members saying 'errr its the internet' as an excuse for being a jerk.

    I've been alive longer than the Internet and was probably on message boards and in chat rooms before you were born (starting with Prodigy bulletin boards back in the 1990s) and these boards, by leaps and bounds, are more polite and reasonable than any I have ever seen.
  • smc864
    smc864 Posts: 570 Member
    First Law Of MFP Forums states that as DERP increases, Negativity must also increase.
    Second Law of MFP Forums states that as negativity increases, butthurt also increases.

    LMAO
  • jasonsdragon
    jasonsdragon Posts: 21 Member
    negativity like alot of things are relative.....I don't think that most people intend to come across that way. I agree with some of the posts that state everyone has and is entitiled to thier opinion and if someone asks a question they are going to get the persons opinion. I was a critical care RN and flight nurse for more than 25 years and because of that I have a good working knowledge of what is right and wrong based on science however I also know that NOT everything works for EVERYONE, with the exception of a few. "A body in motion tends to stay in motion, a body at rest will stay at rest" therefore you as a human NEED to move. the second exception that applies to EVERYONE is if you eat more calories than you burn you will gain weight. so the best weight loss methods tend to be the ones that encourage healthy choices and pushing yourself away from the table when you KNOW you have had enough
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    This is the only board I frequent that still has members saying 'errr its the internet' as an excuse for being a jerk.

    I've been alive longer than the Internet and was probably on message boards and in chat rooms before you were born (starting with Prodigy bulletin boards back in the 1990s) and these boards, by leaps and bounds, are more polite and reasonable than any I have ever seen.

    Ditto... Omg Prodigy MBs and chat rooms!! :laugh:
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Mean people thread! Ha! Top center square! I haven't read the whole thread, so if no one else has called it, I got BINGO! :laugh:
  • flumi_f
    flumi_f Posts: 1,888 Member
    I think, because people are hungry....

    My 5:2 friends get to eat 5 days a week and are much mellower ;-) I really do think, we just feel less deprived.

    I know, I'm asking for it :wink:
  • valandario
    valandario Posts: 30 Member
    Well being new here, having foolishly dared to comment on another post and getting myself a new one ripped (learnt something though, that the NHS in the UK are teaching people incorrectly mainly) i'm going to dare to comment again. I'm happy with the most recent new one that was ripped though, no need to replace it just yet.

    To the Op and all others saying that the nasty comments are unsupportive and people could at least sugarcoat things.

    Sugarcoating is fattening. They are being nice by saving you those calories.
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
    This is the only board I frequent that still has members saying 'errr its the internet' as an excuse for being a jerk.

    I've been alive longer than the Internet and was probably on message boards and in chat rooms before you were born (starting with Prodigy bulletin boards back in the 1990s) and these boards, by leaps and bounds, are more polite and reasonable than any I have ever seen.

    /agree...


    long live the BBS... oh wait... damn
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    I roll my eyes at every 'welcome to the internet' response. *****es, I grew up with the internet. Its changed, and has become an integral part of peoples lives now - as such, normal social guidelines need to start being acknowledged. This is the only board I frequent that still has members saying 'errr its the internet' as an excuse for being a jerk.

    Maybe as a general rule of thumb... If you wouldn't say it irl, then its probably mean.

    you missed the growing up part.


    Pro tip - us "Old Folks" (some of us have actually been on the internet since the 80's - you know, before they added pictures for the kids) actually speak online EXACTLY the way we would in person. Some of us hold back online. You're welcome.

    Love it!!!! "....before they added pictures for the kids..."

    :laugh:


    This is totally me, for sure. I speak the same way online as I would in person, and I remember doing reports in science class on the new "information superhighway" that would be coming as a "world-wide web" of networks was being developed!

    Take that kiddos!

    119854_o.gif
  • bsuew
    bsuew Posts: 628 Member
    For what it's worth I totally agree with you! What works for one doesn't work for all.
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