Not interested in my husband anymore

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  • mlrd2010
    mlrd2010 Posts: 33
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    I think it's healthy in a boring marriage to explore with other people in the bedroom :D I think you should talk to him about that and see if he's ok with it, or cheat if you know he won't be. Sounds bad yea but if you like the relationship you two have and just not the sex life than I think it's a good solution at least until you're satisfied.
    If you don't want to do that than either continue being unsatisfied, get a divorce, or try new things in the bedroom.

    I do not see a long lasting marriage, or any relationship for that matter, anywhere in your future.
    This and STD's in their future

    Inorite?? Wow.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    I didn't have time to read through all the pages, but I'll just add my .02 cents. Years ago I was married and went through this. With that said, it was a physical response to an emotional change. In my case, the "ex" was passive aggressive and did some things that hurt me to the core. Even though I didn't realize it at the time, the trust eroded away. I couldn't be vulnerable with him anymore and I ended a 15 yr marriage.

    Buried resentment will kill intimacy quicker than anything.

    Seek counseling. If you can't talk to him about it, then sort it out with someone unbiased. It's not fair to remain silent and let it fester. Not fair to him or yourself. "Faking it" only catches up with you at some point.

    this is absolutely correct
  • skinnybunny_x
    skinnybunny_x Posts: 449
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    You're a sicko.

    That comparison is totally bogus. A toddler won't feel the emotional pain of that shot for years to come.

    Do the right thing and uphold the vows you made before God. He deserves to know the truth, and not be forced to live a lie.
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
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    Speaking as a woman who has been married for several years - he is my King, I appreciate everything he does for me ... from taking out the trash, to cheering me up when I'm down, I never fantasize about other men, and I crave sex on a daily basis. I find your initial post pathetic, selfish, and reeking of insecurity. If your husband is as as great as he seems, and you still can't truly connect with him on an emotional or physical level, you need to seek professional help. Seriously, something is damaged within yourself.

    I realize I'm not the "norm", and before someone accuses me of any chauvinist way of thinking, I want to totally squash that. I'd definitely consider myself a feminist, and I'm an awesome wife/lover because I WANT to be. It's a choice I make every day. And mlrd, you are fully capable of making that same decision, you simply don't want to.

    I will tell you straight up girl ... you may not have to worry about this for too much longer, because chances are your husband is so unhappy he has already considered leaving you.

    P.S. - Your husband ceases to be your "BFF" when you go behind his back and post personal **** on the internet about your marriage.

    I also ponder if you have male friends on here that you're sharing more with than your husband?


    MEH I'm Queen in my house.
  • mlrd2010
    mlrd2010 Posts: 33
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    You're a sicko.

    That comparison is totally bogus. A toddler won't feel the emotional pain of that shot for years to come.

    Do the right thing and uphold the vows you made before God. He deserves to know the truth, and not be forced to live a lie.

    Wow. I'm essentially agreeing with you, and you still feel the need to attack me. What a hateful person you are. I have problems like everyone else. It's not your or my place to judge others when they're trying to fix it.

    I hope you learn empathy and kindness one day. Until then, enjoy your inner ugliness.
  • CeleryStalker
    CeleryStalker Posts: 665 Member
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    Do the right thing and uphold the vows you made before God. He deserves to know the truth, and not be forced to live a lie.

    What vow did she make that said she couldn't anonymously ask for help preserving her marriage?
  • Rottnme
    Rottnme Posts: 167 Member
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    Don't worry so much about hurting his feelings, worry about being open and letting him work through this with you. It's not going to be easy but it needs to be done now. If you can't communicate, it's not going to work.

    I agree with this. He's just so amazing to me all the time, it kills me to think of saying things that will hurt him, even though I know it can help. Like holding your toddler down for a shot, you know? It'll be for the best, but it hurts the heart to bring pain to those you love, no matter what the reason is.

    You do it for the end goal, not for today. It's a slippery slope you're on and though you don't know it yet, you're BOTH already sliding because one can't slide without the other and vice versa. The only way to stop is with each others help, together.
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    sell him on ebay?
  • mlrd2010
    mlrd2010 Posts: 33
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    sell him on ebay?

    Already tried. It's illegal, apparently.
  • angelamangus1
    angelamangus1 Posts: 164 Member
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    tumblr_inline_mrwhqtavEn1qz4rgp.gif

    HAHAHA... I am in for this!
  • mrslcoop
    mrslcoop Posts: 317 Member
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    Speaking as a woman who has been married for several years - he is my King, I appreciate everything he does for me ... from taking out the trash, to cheering me up when I'm down, I never fantasize about other men, and I crave sex on a daily basis. I find your initial post pathetic, selfish, and reeking of insecurity. If your husband is as as great as he seems, and you still can't truly connect with him on an emotional or physical level, you need to seek professional help. Seriously, something is damaged within yourself.

    I realize I'm not the "norm", and before someone accuses me of any chauvinist way of thinking, I want to totally squash that. I'd definitely consider myself a feminist, and I'm an awesome wife/lover because I WANT to be. It's a choice I make every day. And mlrd, you are fully capable of making that same decision, you simply don't want to.

    I will tell you straight up girl ... you may not have to worry about this for too much longer, because chances are your husband is so unhappy he has already considered leaving you.

    P.S. - Your husband ceases to be your "BFF" when you go behind his back and post personal **** on the internet about your marriage.

    I also ponder if you have male friends on here that you're sharing more with than your husband?

    I second all of this...
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Don't worry so much about hurting his feelings, worry about being open and letting him work through this with you. It's not going to be easy but it needs to be done now. If you can't communicate, it's not going to work.

    I agree with this. He's just so amazing to me all the time, it kills me to think of saying things that will hurt him, even though I know it can help. Like holding your toddler down for a shot, you know? It'll be for the best, but it hurts the heart to bring pain to those you love, no matter what the reason is.

    So I think you have your answer. Talk to your husband.
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
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    I haven't read all of the responses, and I probably won't because I'm a wildwoman like that.

    You stated that it's been a few months, I can tell you that in the span of a long marriage that amount of time is a blip. If you were attracted to him before, and aren't now, the change is in you. So, I'd recommend counseling, individual at first until you get down to what it is that's causing the problem.

    Think long and hard over whether this is something you want to bring up. You'll want to be damned sure that the reason that you aren't attracted to him is because of his weight BEFORE even considering bringing it up with him. You could do serious damage otherwise. Big time. This is going to take some soul searching and maybe counseling. If his weight is the problem, you need to work with someone together to find a way to have that discussion without causing harm. It's a big deal. Unlike a toddler getting a shot, it could hurt for a VERY long time afterward. You want to make sure that you have the root of the problem first.
  • mlrd2010
    mlrd2010 Posts: 33
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    Don't worry so much about hurting his feelings, worry about being open and letting him work through this with you. It's not going to be easy but it needs to be done now. If you can't communicate, it's not going to work.

    I agree with this. He's just so amazing to me all the time, it kills me to think of saying things that will hurt him, even though I know it can help. Like holding your toddler down for a shot, you know? It'll be for the best, but it hurts the heart to bring pain to those you love, no matter what the reason is.

    So I think you have your answer. Talk to your husband.

    Ok. So what do I say? I don't want to hurt him at all.
  • erikamadden84
    erikamadden84 Posts: 12 Member
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    Cheat on your husband with your husband.... Have you ever seen Little Fockers? It actually works. Make more you and him time. Just remember that intimacy is a HUGE peice of a marriage. If it is gone, you can ALWAYS get it back. You have to want for things to work. You also might want to let him know. Since you guys are BFF I am so sure he will be willing to work with you on it. If that doesnt work, just add alcohol.
  • Mr_Excitement
    Mr_Excitement Posts: 833 Member
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    I don't know your husband, but I think most of the men I know would drop their spare weight pretty fast if their wife/girlfriend told them it was making them uninterested in sex. I know I would.

    This is the sort of thing that needs to be communicated. Delicately, maybe-- or with a laugh, I don't know. But it is something you ought to talk about, imho.
  • skinnybunny_x
    skinnybunny_x Posts: 449
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    sell him on ebay?

    Already tried. It's illegal, apparently.

    Yet I'm ugly on the inside. Sure.
  • mlrd2010
    mlrd2010 Posts: 33
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    Cheat on your husband with your husband.... Have you ever seen Little Fockers? It actually works. Make more you and him time. Just remember that intimacy is a HUGE peice of a marriage. If it is gone, you can ALWAYS get it back. You have to want for things to work. You also might want to let him know. Since you guys are BFF I am so sure he will be willing to work with you on it. If that doesnt work, just add alcohol.


    Lol, that might actually work. We don't drink, but I do know what scene you're talking about :laugh:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I haven't read all of the responses, and I probably won't because I'm a wildwoman like that.

    You stated that it's been a few months, I can tell you that in the span of a long marriage that amount of time is a blip. If you were attracted to him before, and aren't now, the change is in you. So, I'd recommend counseling, individual at first until you get down to what it is that's causing the problem.

    Think long and hard over whether this is something you want to bring up. You'll want to be damned sure that the reason that you aren't attracted to him is because of his weight BEFORE even considering bringing it up with him. You could do serious damage otherwise. Big time. This is going to take some soul searching and maybe counseling. If his weight is the problem, you need to work with someone together to find a way to have that discussion without causing harm. It's a big deal.

    *Hug* Thank you for confirming that I am not being ridiculous.


    It is funny how many people on here are being so self-righteous considering how MFP is like a relationship graveyard.
  • mlrd2010
    mlrd2010 Posts: 33
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    sell him on ebay?

    Already tried. It's illegal, apparently.

    Yet I'm ugly on the inside. Sure.

    AND has no sense of humor, apparently. It was a joke. I joked back. Please tell me how terrible I am for the ability to keep in good spirits during a trying time in my life. Go ahead. I'll wait.
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