Not interested in my husband anymore

You're a sicko.

That comparison is totally bogus. A toddler won't feel the emotional pain of that shot for years to come.

Do the right thing and uphold the vows you made before God. He deserves to know the truth, and not be forced to live a lie.

Don't worry so much about hurting his feelings, worry about being open and letting him work through this with you. It's not going to be easy but it needs to be done now. If you can't communicate, it's not going to work.

I agree with this. He's just so amazing to me all the time, it kills me to think of saying things that will hurt him, even though I know it can help. Like holding your toddler down for a shot, you know? It'll be for the best, but it hurts the heart to bring pain to those you love, no matter what the reason is.

You do it for the end goal, not for today. It's a slippery slope you're on and though you don't know it yet, you're BOTH already sliding because one can't slide without the other and vice versa. The only way to stop is with each others help, together.

Speaking as a woman who has been married for several years - he is my King, I appreciate everything he does for me ... from taking out the trash, to cheering me up when I'm down, I never fantasize about other men, and I crave sex on a daily basis. I find your initial post pathetic, selfish, and reeking of insecurity. If your husband is as as great as he seems, and you still can't truly connect with him on an emotional or physical level, you need to seek professional help. Seriously, something is damaged within yourself.

I realize I'm not the "norm", and before someone accuses me of any chauvinist way of thinking, I want to totally squash that. I'd definitely consider myself a feminist, and I'm an awesome wife/lover because I WANT to be. It's a choice I make every day. And mlrd, you are fully capable of making that same decision, you simply don't want to.

I will tell you straight up girl ... you may not have to worry about this for too much longer, because chances are your husband is so unhappy he has already considered leaving you.

P.S. - Your husband ceases to be your "BFF" when you go behind his back and post personal **** on the internet about your marriage.

I also ponder if you have male friends on here that you're sharing more with than your husband?

I second all of this...

I haven't read all of the responses, and I probably won't because I'm a wildwoman like that.

You stated that it's been a few months, I can tell you that in the span of a long marriage that amount of time is a blip. If you were attracted to him before, and aren't now, the change is in you. So, I'd recommend counseling, individual at first until you get down to what it is that's causing the problem.

Think long and hard over whether this is something you want to bring up. You'll want to be damned sure that the reason that you aren't attracted to him is because of his weight BEFORE even considering bringing it up with him. You could do serious damage otherwise. Big time. This is going to take some soul searching and maybe counseling. If his weight is the problem, you need to work with someone together to find a way to have that discussion without causing harm. It's a big deal. Unlike a toddler getting a shot, it could hurt for a VERY long time afterward. You want to make sure that you have the root of the problem first.

Cheat on your husband with your husband.... Have you ever seen Little Fockers? It actually works. Make more you and him time. Just remember that intimacy is a HUGE peice of a marriage. If it is gone, you can ALWAYS get it back. You have to want for things to work. You also might want to let him know. Since you guys are BFF I am so sure he will be willing to work with you on it. If that doesnt work, just add alcohol.

sell him on ebay?

Already tried. It's illegal, apparently.

Yet I'm ugly on the inside. Sure.

I haven't read all of the responses, and I probably won't because I'm a wildwoman like that.

You stated that it's been a few months, I can tell you that in the span of a long marriage that amount of time is a blip. If you were attracted to him before, and aren't now, the change is in you. So, I'd recommend counseling, individual at first until you get down to what it is that's causing the problem.

Think long and hard over whether this is something you want to bring up. You'll want to be damned sure that the reason that you aren't attracted to him is because of his weight BEFORE even considering bringing it up with him. You could do serious damage otherwise. Big time. This is going to take some soul searching and maybe counseling. If his weight is the problem, you need to work with someone together to find a way to have that discussion without causing harm. It's a big deal.

*Hug* Thank you for confirming that I am not being ridiculous.


It is funny how many people on here are being so self-righteous considering how MFP is like a relationship graveyard.

You're a sicko.

That comparison is totally bogus. A toddler won't feel the emotional pain of that shot for years to come.

Do the right thing and uphold the vows you made before God. He deserves to know the truth, and not be forced to live a lie.

Like the smallpox scar? Cause that lasts forever. (don't worry about the reference it might be too old for you to get)

No matter how great you believe your relationship is...you've shown you do not have open and honest communication about Everything.
Hate to say this, but your relationship is not fabulous, outstanding, honoring, or anything other than friends living together.


Love is a gift for which you give 100% freely and not to be expected in return from another. Either they receive it, honor and respect it with equal in return, or you get coal in your stocking. You have to be able to communicate about anything with control on emotional impact of your words.

You are lacking in the core of all of this. If not, then there would be no reason for this post. There would be no reason why you have not talked with him about it.

Respect. Honor. Return.

sell him on ebay?

Already tried. It's illegal, apparently.

Yet I'm ugly on the inside. Sure.

At this point, I think a bunch of us are wondering if there is anything inside.

You're a sicko.

That comparison is totally bogus. A toddler won't feel the emotional pain of that shot for years to come.

Do the right thing and uphold the vows you made before God. He deserves to know the truth, and not be forced to live a lie.

This is where I think your age is a factor that is not doing you any favors. Things become less black and white as you grow up, and if you haven't had your kid go through getting shots, you can't really even comment on that. My first daughter got her shots as a baby and she screamed at the top of her lungs during the shot, and then for four hours after. Not just crying, but piercing shrieks that tylenol wouldn't ease. She wasn't in medical danger, but she did react to the shot.

That was the worst 6 hours I've endured. Did I get gun shy the next time I took her? Yes because I couldn't bear inflicting that sort of pain on her again. But interestingly enough, the second time she didn't react the same way. Why? Because I asked my doctor, and my friends what I could do the next time around to make it better.

It doesn't have to be a one to one relationship between the real life and the analogy that the OP has drawn... the essence is: she cares about her husband and doesn't want to hurt him. She is afraid and hopes theres a way she can fix it without inflicting that pain. Just like I asked for help from others that had gone through what I went through, she is doing the same. She is trying to skip the first shot, and go straight to the second one.

Yes the OP needs to talk to her spouse, but hopefully she can wade through the BS Fit-Slinging posts and find the ones that actually have helpful tips to make that talk the best one possible.

Don't worry so much about hurting his feelings, worry about being open and letting him work through this with you. It's not going to be easy but it needs to be done now. If you can't communicate, it's not going to work.

I agree with this. He's just so amazing to me all the time, it kills me to think of saying things that will hurt him, even though I know it can help. Like holding your toddler down for a shot, you know? It'll be for the best, but it hurts the heart to bring pain to those you love, no matter what the reason is.

So I think you have your answer. Talk to your husband.

Ok. So what do I say? I don't want to hurt him at all.

You sit down, look him in the eye, and say this:

"Honey, you know how sometimes a dog barks all night and keeps you awake? But if you punish the dog for it, he might not bark later when someone is trying to break into your house.

Also, you're fat."