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    The thread where people give really bad running advice!

    1356789

    Replies

    • Posts: 5,413 Member
      You need to let your feet breathe while running - particularly long races. Don't wear socks - that's why there's mesh on your sneakers!

      One of the best runners I ever knew never wore socks. And wore racing shoes for everything.
    • Posts: 179
      When running in hot, humid conditions the preferred fabric is cotton. It holds your sweat, cooling you better. :wink:
    • Posts: 5,413 Member
      Your running shoes should be a half size too small. They'll weigh less and won't fall off of your feet.

      THIS!
    • Posts: 661 Member
      :laugh: ..All the good one's are taken!
    • Posts: 12,942 Member
      Don't drink any water before or after your run.
    • Posts: 2,037 Member
      The port-a-potties at the race start will always be clean, have short lines, and have plenty of toilet paper, so don't worry about getting your dump out of the way at your hotel room.

      And they'll smell like roses!
    • Posts: 179
      If, while racing, you feel the need to shart yourself, don't stop at the nearest port-a-potty.... that feeling will pass. You'll only be wasting time.
    • Posts: 9,420 Member
      Running shoes last forever.
    • Posts: 2,037 Member
      All your workouts should be HIIT - clearly the best way increase endurance is to exclusively sprint for 20 seconds at a time...
    • Posts: 179
      I've found that women are motivated to run faster when I slap them on the butt while passing.
    • Posts: 9,420 Member
      If you are running on a track, go in the opposite direction as everybody else. You are not a sheep.
    • Posts: 5,481 Member
      Right before your run you should eat a 12 oz. T-bone steak and a heaping of mashed potatoes all smothered in mushroom gravy.

      ETA: Now I'm hungry. :frown:
    • Posts: 670 Member
      If you feel like you are getting injured- you should up your mileage!
    • Posts: 15,694 Member
      Even though they tell you to wear your bib, you don't really have to. You're more than just a number anyway.
    • Posts: 390 Member
      Run Naked. Like Pheobe from friends. Clothes\shoes are for the weak
    • Posts: 1,293 Member
      aww heck, i can't come up with a good one...

      except maybe:

      insist on your right of way, motorized vehicles have to learn to stop for you, whenever you cross the road. :wink:
    • Posts: 5,481 Member
      Where a back pack with a 50 pound weight in it.
    • Posts: 179
      Do your speedwork through the ghetto at night. It's far more productive than running at the track.
    • Posts: 2,037 Member
      Be sure to bring your ipad to all your races. You'll want to stop and post updates at every mile!
    • Posts: 6,553 Member
      Women should not run. They will gain too much muscle in their thighs and calves and will look like men.
    • Posts: 5,481 Member
      Always answer your phone, you may miss an important call.
    • Posts: 179
      Wear a S&M mask to your races. It reduces drag, thereby shaving valuable minutes off of your finish time.
    • Posts: 6,553 Member
      Make sure you start off with a really fast pace. It will intimadate everyone behind you when you sprint that first half mile.
    • Posts: 670 Member
      make sure to take laxatives the night before a big race! Don't want to have bathroom problems in the morning!
    • Posts: 611 Member
      Your first ever fitness/running goal should be to complete a marathon ...
    • Posts: 1,945 Member
      Ladies with weak pelvic floors! Never wear black running pants. Make sure you wear a colour that highlights every drop of wee so that everyone can share with you. Particularly so the race photographer can document it for the whole internet world to see (yep. For real).
    • Posts: 1,974 Member
      Make sure at all winter races, in the rain, cold, wind to have your children waiting at several spots along the course - best if a marathon so they are particularly miserable for close to four hours.
    • Posts: 390 Member
      If you find yourself need to relieve yourself mid race, wait until you are either in front of the camera's, or in front of the in-laws...
    • Posts: 569 Member
      For practice, go up behind a street cop, smack them on the *kitten*, and run away.
    • Posts: 9,420 Member
      Look down at your feet to make sure you are striking correctly.
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