The thread where people give really bad running advice!

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  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    Always answer your phone, you may miss an important call.
  • 1_JR_1
    1_JR_1 Posts: 179
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    Wear a S&M mask to your races. It reduces drag, thereby shaving valuable minutes off of your finish time.
  • Stoshew71
    Stoshew71 Posts: 6,553 Member
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    Make sure you start off with a really fast pace. It will intimadate everyone behind you when you sprint that first half mile.
  • vmclach
    vmclach Posts: 670 Member
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    make sure to take laxatives the night before a big race! Don't want to have bathroom problems in the morning!
  • TigerBite
    TigerBite Posts: 611 Member
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    Your first ever fitness/running goal should be to complete a marathon ...
  • Springfield1970
    Springfield1970 Posts: 1,945 Member
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    Ladies with weak pelvic floors! Never wear black running pants. Make sure you wear a colour that highlights every drop of wee so that everyone can share with you. Particularly so the race photographer can document it for the whole internet world to see (yep. For real).
  • mlb929
    mlb929 Posts: 1,974 Member
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    Make sure at all winter races, in the rain, cold, wind to have your children waiting at several spots along the course - best if a marathon so they are particularly miserable for close to four hours.
  • CarlKRobbo
    CarlKRobbo Posts: 390 Member
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    If you find yourself need to relieve yourself mid race, wait until you are either in front of the camera's, or in front of the in-laws...
  • aliencheesecake
    aliencheesecake Posts: 570 Member
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    For practice, go up behind a street cop, smack them on the *kitten*, and run away.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Look down at your feet to make sure you are striking correctly.
  • 1_JR_1
    1_JR_1 Posts: 179
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    People love running with dogs, so bring all of yours.... especially to the REALLY large races. You'll make lots and lots of friends.
  • allisoncook87
    allisoncook87 Posts: 160 Member
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    This whole thing is cracking me up!
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    Trip people so you can win.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Couch to 5k runners should repeat Week 4 until they feel ready for the 20 minute run.
  • CarlKRobbo
    CarlKRobbo Posts: 390 Member
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    Run on all fours... It works for cheetahs...
  • RunBrew
    RunBrew Posts: 220 Member
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    Running at anything slower than race-pace isn't making you faster.
    Go all out, or don't run.
  • 1_JR_1
    1_JR_1 Posts: 179
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    For the women...... stopping in the middle of the race course to pee is perfectly acceptable behavior as long as you don't leave your used toilet paper on the road.
  • brandiuntz
    brandiuntz Posts: 2,717 Member
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    Headphones for music are so last year. Wear Bluetooth speakers so everyone can listen to your inspirational music!
  • CarlKRobbo
    CarlKRobbo Posts: 390 Member
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    Jump the gun. Take shourtcut's - as many as possible, it's fine no one will ever know...
  • itsfruitcake
    itsfruitcake Posts: 146 Member
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    You can measure the temperature by looking outside through your window and then dress according to what it looks like. Don't bother checking the actual weather forecast.

    (I do this all the freaking time though and end up with way too much or little to wear, duh :laugh:)

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