I feel sorry for the new year resolutioners..

I would highly recommend checking out a thread where the OP is actually receptive and willing to take the advice they are asking for. It is a very different situation than when someone posts a thread asking for opinions on a ludicrous diet or practice and gets upset when the responses are rightfully less than positive. But, again, it's hard to know this when you are not active in the community or offering any of the "support" you lament no one provides.

This.

I think people should get a supportive attitude from others if they are trying... period. Regardless if they started December 1st, January 1st, or June 11th.

Yes, a lot of people will fail. Not just those who start on January 1st either. Statistically, most obese people who lose weight will gain it back, but that doesn't mean that as an obese person I should just not even try, rather, I should do my best to beat the odds, to one of that small percentage who succeed.

Most New Years resolutions fail, whether they are weight loss related or something else entirely, does that mean resolving to change things in the coming year is a bad thing? No. Does that mean that people shouldn't try to make 2014 better than 2013? No. I think we should always strive to do better tomorrow than we did today, even if today was awesome!

I am not waiting for New Years to start, but I do have some specific goals for the New Year that are different than my goals in 2013.

I have waited for certain events to start losing weight. For example my family took in a friend who became homeless and his 11 year old daughter for a year. He had horrible eating habits... and that with the added stress resulted in me going back to old unhealthy habits. For the last 3 months he was with us, I felt pretty much disgusted with it and mentally was ready to change, but I also knew that my chances of success with someone putting pizza, ice cream, cookies, cupcakes, fatty cuts of beef, hamburgers, mexican food, etc. etc. etc. in my face all the time was pretty slim, and likely to be discouraging. So all I really did in that last 3 months was increase the amount of veggies I was eating, and do a little walking. I determined in my mind to begin in earnest the day after he moved out. And I did, and since that time I've lost 47 pounds, and have no intention of stopping.

All that to say, if someone feels they will have more success after the holidays are done, who am I to argue? I don't know their situation? I don't know their emotional state or the level of their commitment once they start.

I would rather be supportive of 10 people, even if 9 end up failing, than to be rude and unsupportive of them and be part of the reason they failed.

No one here says to anybody, "Oh, I see you started January 1, you're SOOOOO gonna fail."

This is just a general statement, and not a judgement call about anyone:

Perhaps fewer Resolutioners would quit if more of them were getting support from people who are already on their way to achieving their fitness goals. When you're just starting out, this *kitten* is tough. Coming here and seeing so much negativity and lack of faith in their success will probably be more detrimental to their journey than helpful.

It's not the responsibility of this forum to ensure all newbies succeed 100% of the time, but being more encouraging -- and less sure they won't stick around -- might help.

I would highly recommend checking out a thread where the OP is actually receptive and willing to take the advice they are asking for. It is a very different situation than when someone posts a thread asking for opinions on a ludicrous diet or practice and gets upset when the responses are rightfully less than positive. But, again, it's hard to know this when you are not active in the community or offering any of the "support" you lament no one provides.

Totally agree with you.

I was a member of the site for a while before I ventured into the forums. When I first poked around, I knew nothing of IIFYM, TDEE or anything like that. What I "knew" was a lot of out-dated mythology (breakfast is the most important meal of the day! 1200 cals is totally maintanable! don't eat back exercise cals!). At first I fell into the "wow, people are mean" camp. But then I actually did a lot of reading and a lot of searching, and a lot of paying attention. I realized people were not being mean, they were being factual, and helping others out with their knowledge (most of which has come from their success). When I see someone that has lost over 100lbs, I tend to think they might know what they're talking about.
A lot of new members (again, not all) do not take the time to listen to the advice and support being given. They come in with a plan and an idea that they want to do, and anyone that debates or disputes that plan and idea is instantly labeled as being mean or unsupportive.
It's a two way street, if you ask a question you need to be prepared for all answres, whether they are the answers you want or not, and you need to be open to new ideas in order to succeed.


Edited 'cause I can't spell

I find planning is best. I never start anything unless it's a Monday or the first of the month. I will be restarting with a new account in the new year. I'm still going now. Still dieting, still losing, but definitely start fresh at new year. If they try and failed, at least they tried.

See, there is the problem. Viewing what one is doing as "dieting" and needing a specific start and end time. How about choosing to eat differently (healthily).... wait for it..... for forever? No start date, no end date, just a sustainable enjoyable healthy eating plan that works for life. That's what I'm doing and it's the only thing that finally makes sense. Losing weight effortlessly is so much easier than worrying about every stupid thing like "did I drink enough water", "I need to eat a 10 cup salad so I won't struggle with hunger", "I'm hungry but it's 8pm so I don't dare eat", "oh no the scale isn't saying I lost five pounds this week-I'm plateauing!" et al. I have no end date for my lifestyle and if I stop I will get sick/fat once again. No thanks.

I haven't read the negative posts, I usually don't. Don't need that crap. Yes, its true, a very high percentage will fail because they are not Committed to a lifestyle change, but a "Its January I should" Those that mean it Can and WILL Succeed.

I wish I could help every person with this struggle! Obesity is so bad in America, there is more to life than bad food.

While I am sire that you think that your 9 posts here qualifies you to take the moral high ground, some of us actually dedicate dozens of hours per week helping people around here.

So unless you're willing to educate yourself and share that knowledge with others on a regular basis, you've no room to judge others.

This is the truth. I don't post much but I've read the forums for a long time and there are the same core group of people who consistently share their knowledge and information with grace and intelligence. And less often, with impatience or "meanness." Way too often, the OP will argue with the science, find excuses for why it will not work for them, or generally moan about the information shared. It's not a surprise that those trying to help get worn down and frustrated by the excuse-giving contingent. But if the OP listens and shows a willingness to learn, there is celebration and support all the way around. And 99% of the time, those who share are right and the OP returns to thank all the "mean" people.

It's kind of an awesome thing to watch happening.

And to the OP getting psyched to start a Jan 1 life change, why don't you continue to make that your public proclamation while sneakily starting to make those changes now? You can trick yourself into making progress even before you start, and really, who doesn't like to see that forward progress?

This thread has proved my point exactly.
Only a handful of decent people here.
I think on January 1st I will add as many resoulutioners as possible and support them, encourage them and try to keep them going.
Not going to keep wasting my time on shallow narrow minded people.

You can start or fail any day of the year. If they choose to wait and start at a later date. Good for them. If they wake up one day or are half way through a slice of triple chocolate cake and start right that second. Good for them. Either way, they should be treat the same.

Dear OP, look at your post history and count how many of your posts are "supporting other people." (answer: 0%)

Many of the people you're criticizing have spent countless hours of their own time helping other people and have posted hundreds or thousands of supportive posts.

Perhaps you should at least make an attempt to set an example before attacking everyone who has been doing it for months or years.

This thread has proved my point exactly.
Only a handful of decent people here.
I think on January 1st I will add as many resoulutioners as possible and support them, encourage them and try to keep them going.
Not going to keep wasting my time on shallow narrow minded people.

You can start or fail any day of the year. If they choose to wait and start at a later date. Good for them. If they wake up one day or are half way through a slice of triple chocolate cake and start right that second. Good for them. Either way, they should be treat the same.

I see you only joined 2 months ago and have not experienced the resolutioner rush yet. Why don't you you spend a few months helping them all and then report back on how you feel next year? Or is that too hard to do from up on your high horse?

Is this the new variation on the 'why is everyone so mean?' thread?

Even worse. It's "I'm outraged on behalf of hypothetical people because of what I imagine other people will think about them in the future."

As someone that started Dec 26th of last year I found MFP on New Years Day, I would have failed if it had not been for the so called judgmental people you are criticizing. When I started I did all the things I had always done to diet, drastic deficit, get rid of all the good food and I was miserable!

Being a lurker and watching the advice given even though most wasn't taken from the original poster, I learned a lot and I thank all of you judgmental mean people cause you have shown me that I can eat good food, not starve and be miserable and lose weight!

If the New Year resolutioners are ready to make a change they will, if they aren't they won't. But I do want to thank all of you that give your time to post over and over again, because it does help!

Most New Years resolutions fail, whether they are weight loss related or something else entirely, does that mean resolving to change things in the coming year is a bad thing? No. Does that mean that people shouldn't try to make 2014 better than 2013? No. I think we should always strive to do better tomorrow than we did today, even if today was awesome!

Yes, strive to do better TOMORROW, not three weeks from now. Putting it off for whatever reason means you're not mentally ready. Temptation is always everywhere. My co-workers to this day continue to put slices of cake on my desk and try to get me to quit my diet and even go so far as to tell me that I can just throw it up afterwards. Should I stop dieting until I get a new job? No, I just tell them no thank you and go back to work. At the end of the day, you are the reason you fail or suceed, no one else.