A girl who activeley pursues a man with a gf...
Replies
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So let me get this right: He showed you everything and proved to you that he rejected this girl time and time again. He only slept with her AFTER you told him it was over (twice) and this is his fault.....how? Over means over
Arguments and rough patches are not breakups. I have yet to meet a woman who would even listen to this logic. Also, texts received prove nothing. He could have erased his responses. He clearly has a history of being deceitful with her.
He showed her sent texts as well and I don't think he would have enough time to edit all of that to his benefit. "Let me see your phone!" "Hang on, give me 5 minutes, I have some 'apps' to erase..."
And you are right, arguments and rough patches aren't break ups. Saying "Get out! It's over!" is CLEARLY a breakup.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.0 -
Nothing he says to you is genuine. He is weak. Whether he cares about you or not he is not mature enough to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Take the hit, get rid of him and let time heal your heart so you can move on.
The fact that he hid this woman's entire existence from you from the beginning tells you everything you need to know.
Please please please put yourself first. No man or relationship is worth this kind of risk. He will forever keep secrets from you because he does not have the sheer maturity do choose right over wrong.0 -
So let me get this right: He showed you everything and proved to you that he rejected this girl time and time again. He only slept with her AFTER you told him it was over (twice) and this is his fault.....how? Over means over
Arguments and rough patches are not breakups. I have yet to meet a woman who would even listen to this logic. Also, texts received prove nothing. He could have erased his responses. He clearly has a history of being deceitful with her.
He showed her sent texts as well and I don't think he would have enough time to edit all of that to his benefit. "Let me see your phone!" "Hang on, give me 5 minutes, I have some 'apps' to erase..."
And you are right, arguments and rough patches aren't break ups. Saying "Get out! It's over!" is CLEARLY a breakup.
Sheesh!! There are plenty of picture, text, and web browsing cover-up/hiding apps out there, that anyone who is caught with pictures or texts or because of their web browsing history is just crying out for attention because they were abandoned by their 3rd grade teacher during a livestock judging contest at the county fair.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.0 -
16 pages that this has been going on for? :laugh:0
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Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.
I am beginning to see that....0 -
So let me get this right: He showed you everything and proved to you that he rejected this girl time and time again. He only slept with her AFTER you told him it was over (twice) and this is his fault.....how? Over means over
Arguments and rough patches are not breakups. I have yet to meet a woman who would even listen to this logic. Also, texts received prove nothing. He could have erased his responses. He clearly has a history of being deceitful with her.
He showed her sent texts as well and I don't think he would have enough time to edit all of that to his benefit. "Let me see your phone!" "Hang on, give me 5 minutes, I have some 'apps' to erase..."
And you are right, arguments and rough patches aren't break ups. Saying "Get out! It's over!" is CLEARLY a breakup.
Sheesh!! There are plenty of picture, text, and web browsing cover-up/hiding apps out there, that anyone who is caught with pictures or texts or because of their web browsing history is just crying out for attention because they were abandoned by their 3rd grade teacher during a livestock judging contest at the county fair.
I think this thread is the reason that "Friends" episode was so popular.0 -
I really hate multi-quotes. :grumble:Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.
I am beginning to see that....
This is why it is always kind of ridiculous when people post their relationship problems. We never get to hear the other person's side and are forced to just assume things.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.
I am beginning to see that....
This is why it is always kind of ridiculous when people post their relationship problems. We never get to hear the other person's side and are forced to just assume things.
This is very true. In my experience that seems to be the majority of friendships though. I always go by what my friends tell me about a breakup. I don't think I haver ever went to their ex to get their side. It would seem a little awkward. Maybe my friends have been playing me this entire time!!!!0 -
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Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.
I am beginning to see that....
This is why it is always kind of ridiculous when people post their relationship problems. We never get to hear the other person's side and are forced to just assume things.
This is very true. In my experience that seems to be the majority of friendships though. I always go by what my friends tell me about a breakup. I don't think I haver ever went to their ex to get their side. It would seem a little awkward. Maybe my friends have been playing me this entire time!!!!
lol, the worst is when the guy is my original friend, but his girl expects me to take her side because we are the same sex. I obviously am going to be loyal to my close friend and not her. I usually just stop answering my phone for a few days. :laugh:0 -
is seriously the most pathetic person in the world. I found out three days ago that my boyfriend of 5 months lied to me. He had slept with this girl that I didn't even know he knew. Apparently they had been sleeping together before we met and then two times when we were going through rough patches and I told him I was leaving him and then we worked it out- but he never told me about it- a friend finally did. I was sickened. I confronted him. At first he lied and said he didn't know what I was talking about. I've been cheated on before and I won't be with someone I think would be with someone behind my back- but does this qualify? And as I said before, there is no one as pathetic as a girl trying to steal a BF. If they wanted you, they would be with you. Ladies, we are classier than that!! Sorry so heavy for a Tuesday morning, but opinions please
Opinion:
I am sorry your partner cheated on you. Yes, this qualifies as cheating.
But he is the one who cheated on you. Not her. From her side, she was sleeping with him and then he got a girl friend.
Who he has fights with and then goes to her. No doubt he also tells her how much you don't understand him and he is only with you for whatever reason. He is completely untrustworthy.
And he didn't even have the guts to tell you - a friend did! And then he tried to lie to you about it. The guy is obviously a coward. And do you really want to be with a cheating coward?
Be glad you only wasted 5 months with this dumbass and move on.
Buy the friend a drink to say thanks.0 -
Being stuck between the two does get exahusting if you let it.0
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Well he did have sex with her, hardly the actions of a committed man.0
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1. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. A general caution that has nothing to do with your situation.
2. "It's called a breakup because it's broken" should be mandatory reading for gals aged 14-400
3. If a dude is worth getting back together with he'll stay out of compromising situations 'til he can win you back. Lil Miss Homewrecker isn't off the hook either tho'; clearly she was actively trying to get him to betray you. With any luck they'll both get the dreaded Gona-syphil-herp-chlam-aids!
4. Great men and women give their time, talent, and, money to help others. Tired of failed relationships? find places where this sort of giving happens and join up: mentoring programs after school programs & tutoring, homeless outreach, meals on wheels, habitat4humanity, library & reading programs, hospital programs like games and candystripers, Masons/Elks/Shriners/Moose (what's with the critter names?), groups that assist veterans & their families like HonorFlight or HappyHookers or WoundedWarrior Project, toys for tots, salvation army bell ringers/stores/kitchens, goodwill stores, bowling for kids sake, work with AngelTree or organize the making of cards for soldiers or christmas boxes for underprivileged kids ie Navajo Nation gift boxes, volunteer with a blood bank or red cross / red crescent, crisis hotlines & homes for women/children/men, check out the volunteer opps at local performing arts centers. If you don't have money give your time and smile. If you aren't careful, you'll change your love life AND your perspective!
When we quit tolerating DBags we become better people and they have to improve themselves or get left behind. It is simple social evolution.0 -
I can see all three sides of the story. I'm special like that...
I would be sad if I was seeing someone and he got serious with someone else. I'd probably pursue him since we obviously had feelings for each other that I still had, but I'd eventually realize I was just a booty call and move on.
I would be sad if I kicked my boyfriend out and he didn't just lay in the yard waiting for me, but I'd eventually realize I essentially told him I didn't care about him enough to work through the issues and wait for him to sober up.
I would be saddest if I got kicked out when I was wasted then made to feel like I was on trial just because I found a happy place to spend the night where someone wanted me, but I'd eventually realize which friend shared my secret and steal his car.0 -
I would pay money and to see a guy say this to his girl in this situation. Effing hilarious. :laugh:0 -
I can see all three sides of the story. I'm special like that...
I would be sad if I was seeing someone and he got serious with someone else. I'd probably pursue him since we obviously had feelings for each other that I still had, but I'd eventually realize I was just a booty call and move on.
I would be sad if I kicked my boyfriend out and he didn't just lay in the yard waiting for me, but I'd eventually realize I essentially told him I didn't care about him enough to work through the issues and wait for him to sober up.
I would be saddest if I got kicked out when I was wasted then made to feel like I was on trial just because I found a happy place to spend the night where someone wanted me, but I'd eventually realize which friend shared my secret and steal his car.
You are amazing0 -
I can see all three sides of the story. I'm special like that...
I would be sad if I was seeing someone and he got serious with someone else. I'd probably pursue him since we obviously had feelings for each other that I still had, but I'd eventually realize I was just a booty call and move on.
I would be sad if I kicked my boyfriend out and he didn't just lay in the yard waiting for me, but I'd eventually realize I essentially told him I didn't care about him enough to work through the issues and wait for him to sober up.
I would be saddest if I got kicked out when I was wasted then made to feel like I was on trial just because I found a happy place to spend the night where someone wanted me, but I'd eventually realize which friend shared my secret and steal his car.
I wonder how she made him leave and if he paid rent there or shared a lease with her. Because when I pulled that crap during an argument with my ex, he said pretty much said, "Screw that. I'll sleep in another room, but I'm not getting kicked out of my own house. Are you crazy?" We laugh about it now because he was right.0 -
I can see all three sides of the story. I'm special like that...
I would be sad if I was seeing someone and he got serious with someone else. I'd probably pursue him since we obviously had feelings for each other that I still had, but I'd eventually realize I was just a booty call and move on.
I would be sad if I kicked my boyfriend out and he didn't just lay in the yard waiting for me, but I'd eventually realize I essentially told him I didn't care about him enough to work through the issues and wait for him to sober up.
I would be saddest if I got kicked out when I was wasted then made to feel like I was on trial just because I found a happy place to spend the night where someone wanted me, but I'd eventually realize which friend shared my secret and steal his car.
I hope the OP reads this post - there is a lot of truth in it.0 -
Why would you be mad at her, she didnt force your boyfriend to do what he did. I'm not saying its right but there are two sides to every story...he could have been leading her to believe that you were possible and he planned to break it off. I realize that you saw the texts but whose to say he didnt say things over the phone or in person to mislead her. Either way once a cheater always a cheater. You dont deserve that, find someone worth to be with you!0
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I'm sorry but if he really didn't want to contact her or have contact from her he would have either blocked her number or changed his own. He sounds like he likes/gets an ego boost from being in contact with that horrible girl. It is a total 50/50 cheat here. I could never trust him again. How do you know he won't go get wasted and "get talked into" her bed again? I think this is a complete Bull story and you need to cut him loose. A good man won't do this and you can find someone who won't cheat on you girl. Hold out for the Truly Good Guy not the good enough guy. A real man will NOT do this to you.
^^ This0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Look, the fact of the matter is that it makes no difference at all whether the OP, us on the internet, or the guy himself considers his behavior cheating. The reality is that the OP has got herself in the midst of a twisted love triangle in which no one person has behaved appropriately and no one will really win. The only real option is to end the relationship, learn from mistakes made, and move on. No one is really crucifying the dude because OP has been sending out mixed signals. But like you said, he didn't make wise choices either. And the girl, well, she went after what she wanted, even if it wasn't what she needed.
Someone in this situation has to put a stop to it, and since the OP is the one that presented the situation, then the advice to her is to end the relationship. She can't control the other participants in this stupid, drama-filled fiasco. But she can choose to step away from the cycle and save herself some grief. She can't worry about him. He made his choices. She made hers.0 -
Wow way to go not holding the bf responsible! Clearly, its all this evil woman's fault! I mean she must have kidnapped him, tied him up, and forced herself on him! What an evil witch! (edited by grammar police)
THIS!0 -
I really hate multi-quotes. :grumble:Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.
agree... :drinker:0 -
ERROR
I really hate multi-quotes. :grumble:Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.
agree... :drinker:0 -
I'm sorry I don't know the entire situation so I can't tell you exactly what to do but I think of the calories I would be burning while I kicked him to the curb because given what you've told me that's what I would do!!
Good luck finding someone that is so crazy madly in love with you!!!0
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