Lock Up Yo Husbands!

Apparently I am attracted to shiny objects in the shape of wedding rings because I am single and horny

How yew do'in?:glasses:

On an unrelated noted, I'm selling fake wedding rings...

I will need one to snag the OP.

Just make sure it out shine's my neighbors and you're in!

So you're only worried about size?

Tch. So shallow.

Shine my dear. Size doesn't matter if you know how to work it.

Yes this is truly about polish. if i'm honest though i'd prefer big and polished if given the option.

Simple. Look her dead in the eye the next time she says anything or even bring it up yourself and say, "I don't want a husband. I want a sugar daddy. So unless your man is secretly rolling in gold coins and has gold bricks holding up his shelves, no worries." And walk away.

In this vein look her dead in the eye and say "No I'm aiming a little higher, I plan to be a trophy wife and I can already see how he keeps you," Then look her up and down REALLY slow. And then just stare. Make her look away first. Like a dog.

HA! That's even BETTER!

Ooh! Or

if i'm honest though i'd prefer big and polished if given the option.

Someone provides the big, you do the polishing.

Lollll, man, I'd have more lights on that side of the house.

I think your on to something!

Be careful though. She may think you are adding the lights so you can see her husband better while you spy on him!

I was instructed by my wife to avoid redheads at all costs. Y'all are dangerous.

Well I see that yo ulive in Nebraska. I'm pretty sure there isn't much going on in Nebraska so husband humping might be a good time filler. You could also look into cow tipping, tornado dodging and corn husking. All of these are alternatives to husband humping.

Lollll, man, I'd have more lights on that side of the house.

I think your on to something!

Just nothing but red lights on that side of the house.

LMAO....ROXANNE !!!! You don't have to put on the red light!!! DYING OF LAUGHTER @ MY DESK.

Yes, I have a super crazy neighbor lady who like to do yard work late at night with a spot light.

In September my hubby, and I had an "incident" with her.

We have a common ground with a small stream between our houses. She apparently did not like that a tree on my side of the common ground hung over her side. She came on to our property without our knowledge, cut down my honeysuckle bush in order to make enough room to get behind my fence to get a ladder against the tree. She then proceeded to cut down the offending branches a long with her boyfriend, and his friend.
I was cooking dinner, and going over my sons homework with him when I hear screaming (mind you it was dark outside). I thought great she is out there fighting with her boyfriend on the front lawn again! Then she screamed again. At that point I knew something was wrong. I peaked my head out of the door, and asked if she was OK. She responded with F@#K NO! I'm hurt call an ambulance!. I yelled for my husband to go over to our neighbors she needs help! I turned off the stove, picked up my phone dialed 911 on my way out of the house.
Instead of finding them in her yard, I found them on the side of my house with my husband, and her boyfriend on our property! Her boyfriend, and friend had pulled a branch back for her to cut it with a hand saw. They lost their grip, and it snapped back on to her leg splitting it open from ankle to knee! The ambulance came, and took her to the hospital.The next day I saw her boyfriend who said she had to get a ton of stitches, but she is OK, and home resting.
One week later she sends her boyfriend over to ask my husband for our Homeowners Ins. He told him I will send my wife over when she comes home to talk with her, because he does not know what to do. I went over later after two more times of her boyfriend coming over before I could get off of work, and told her that I was not going to give her my Homeowners ins. info. I told her :
A) the tree is on common ground to get a hold of the Homeowners Assco., and get their info.
you were trespassing on my property, and you destroyed my property to get to the tree. I told her I should be making a report with the Police on you, but I did not b/c we're neighbors, and I wanted to keep the peace.
C) AND THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT....YOU WERE UP A TREE AT NIGHT TRYING TO CUT DOWN BRANCHES!!

She started screaming that she is going to get my info through her lawyer b/c we sued her 3 years earlier when a tree from her yard fell on our house, and that I was a stupid, fat B@#%H. I turned around a walked away, and told her to have her lawyer send me a letter. Have not heard from her since, but she has been outside at night working in her garden!

You guys have it twisted, red heads are the best. Fighting mad they are sexy.