Is chivalry really dead? :(

show previous quotes

Can't have chivalry and equality at the same time, so yes it's dead or at the least almost dead.

Equality is one thing and Chivalry is another.

I love statements that demonstrate a certain ignorance of the subject matter. The chivalric code was based on an assumption of inequality. It was honorable for a man of a certain position to protect and serve the weak. Once you have equality, what is being discussed is mere courtesy among equals.

Based on the Merriam Webster definition of the world "chivalry", I find it ironic that you are accusing the dictionary of being ignorant of the subject matter.

"The system of values (such as loyalty and honor) that knights in the Middle Ages were expected to follow"

So sayeth Webster's.

Also go look up ironic while you're in there.

Bingo

Both of you "gentlemen" need to look earlier in the topic where the M-W definition was already quoted... and included the 2nd possible definition, which you conveniently left out.

And ironic is exactly what I meant, seeing as how you both strive to give off an image of intelligence, yet will conveniently ignore a very valid definition of the word... which is decidedly less than honorable (maybe even chivalrous?) behavior.

[q]From m-w.com:

QUOTE:
chiv·al·ry noun \ˈshi-vəl-rē\
: the system of values (such as loyalty and honor) that knights in the Middle Ages were expected to follow

: an honorable and polite way of behaving especially toward women


I think in the modern context, the second definition is more applicable.[/q]


So you get to cherry pick your definitions but the other two "gentlemen" don't? :huh:



I suggest you look up hypocrisy the next time you open a dictionary.

lol i know it's the first definition, that's the point. the definition is that it's a medieval ideal for gender role behavior. It's not dead but it should be because it's based entirely on misogynist and sexist principles. WHICH I FIND PAINFULLY OBVIOUS JUST BY LOOKING AT THE FIRST DEFINITION. here's another look at the definition of chivalry lol k thanks http://www.wildcat.arizona.edu/article/2013/10/chivalry-degrades-women-promotes-sexism-in-society

show previous quotes

I think it goes back to following the example of my grandfather. He was a very well of man, a self-made successful gentleman. And he delighted in taking care of the bill. He was VERY much an old-school gentleman, and did this as part of his behavior.
I have always tried to emulate this. I feel the practice brings a smile to a woman's face, which is never a bad thing - at least in my mind. It gives me joy.
So is my behavior selfish in nature? Perhaps. It's possible I'm feeding my ego.
But it's appreciated behavior. And I feel good that I'm in a financial position to not have to think twice about it. (And no, it's not Grandpa's money - it's mine. I went out and made my own. )

Just curious; do you cover the bill for male friends as well? And if you do, does it make you feels as good as when you pay for a woman's meal?

I do sometimes, yes.
Honestly? No, it doesnt.
But then again, I'm less worried about their comfort.
And oftentimes, they get me back in the future.
Well, sometimes they do.

I get that it's nice to be able to treat people and I am both the giver and receiver among my friends. Likewise with holding doors, etc.
I find it interesting that some men feel uncomfortable with women paying but not with men.
To me, this seems sexist; maybe a subtle display of power.

For me, I'd much rather have pay equity rather than free meals.

I just want somebody to buy me some tacos, ok?

Not sure why it matters in this conversation, but I'm female.

lol i know it's the first definition, that's the point. the definition is that it's a medieval ideal for gender role behavior. It's not dead but it should be because it's based entirely on misogynist and sexist principles. WHICH I FIND PAINFULLY OBVIOUS JUST BY LOOKING AT THE FIRST DEFINITION. here's another look at the definition of chivalry lol k thanks http://www.wildcat.arizona.edu/article/2013/10/chivalry-degrades-women-promotes-sexism-in-society

Yeah since we no longer practice feudalism

I don't think the idea of honor and being polite are in any way misogynistic. I don't care if the "idea" of it came during a time that was misogynistic, that does not negate it's value. However, I admit to being a lot older than you and raised in a much different society where being polite was a virtue. I think the current trend of complete and total self-involvement definitely indicates that living in a "polite" society is certainly on it's death bed.

One can only hope.

show previous quotes

"Chivalrous" behavior is considered courteous behavior where I live.

Simply put, if a man doesn't behave that way (here), it's a reflection of his upbringing. When he does, it shows that he wasn't "raised by wolves."

It implies that his parents invested time in teaching him right from wrong and how to be considerate of another's feelings.

Now, whether he REALLY IS a good guy or not would remain to be seen.

I actually feel a great deal of sympathy for men who get their "hands slapped" for opening a car door or picking up a check.
The vast majority of the time, when guys behave that way, it's has nothing to do with trying to with trying to be disrespectful. He's just trying to show you that he can be taken in public.

Please note: I'm not saying that a woman should always be a "free loader."

So where you come from it's a classist designator and people who lapse in the case of manners considered acceptable to you are seen as lesser human beings.
Fantastic, a pretty good example of why even "common courtesy" is often just a hodge-podge of passive aggression and condescension.

show previous quotes

I don't think the idea of honor and being polite are in any way misogynistic. I don't care if the "idea" of it came during a time that was misogynistic, that does not negate it's value. However, I admit to being a lot older than you and raised in a much different society where being polite was a virtue. I think the current trend of complete and total self-involvement definitely indicates that living in a "polite" society is certainly on it's death bed.

Lot of truth here.

show previous quotes

One can only hope.

I guess people think they deserve a pat on the back for behaving politely to women, it can't just be expected. sure, the "good old days" are gone.... I agree... one can only hope that they are gone...

show previous quotes

One can only hope.

I guess people think they deserve a pat on the back for behaving politely to women, it can't just be expected. sure, the "good old days" are gone.... I agree... one can only hope that they are gone...