Harming children to make yourself feel good?

This topic is strongly worded on purpose - partly for fun, and also because I'm tired of having to run interference with food pushers.

My kids are allowed sweets and treats in moderation - but the next person to sneak one of my kids a cookie behind my back may be force fed a full length video of my five year old crying after he gets his backside handed to him at his next wrestling tournament.

Because eating a cookie will make him lose the tournament?

One cookie? No. Too many cookies? Yes, especially if he misses a weight cut off and has to wrestle up a class.

Are you managing your child's weight for competitive purposes as a 5 year old?

No. I'm just trying to keep them healthy. Sports/exercise are a part of keeping them healthy, and sports just aren't as fun if you lose all the time.

Holy crap, he's freakin' 5!!!
What a great way to turn your kid off from sports.

My son wrestled from elementary school thru high school, and was a state place winner his Jr year. He cut weight one year- his Senior year, after he had torn his ACL wrestling in a national level tournament over the summer between Jr and Sr year. He lost 50lbs to go from heavyweight to the 215 class. He did that on his own, with our support of course. All thru middle and high school we lifted weights together and did things that would help his performance, but it was never forced on him. Sometimes he needed a little motivation to hit the weight room but when he was out muscling kids on the mat, he saw how it paid off. .

We never made him cut weight to win matches as a kid. I saw all kinds of parents making their kids run laps in their winter coats at 6am to cut 1/4lb, yelling and screaming at them about how they were going to lose if they didn't make weight. Guess what? They lost anyway because their heart wasn't in it, they were tired, hungry, and scared of disappointing their parents. I hated seeing that. I was glad my kid was a big boy and was solidly in the middle of the heavy classes. All the other kids in his weight groups would find each other and hang out, share their food and snacks, and had a generally better time.

As far as 5 year olds wrestling goes- I have news for you- they ALL cry when they lose! It has nothing to do with how many cookies they had. They cry. It's so cute watching the little ones. You have to make it fun for them. If they have a passion for the sport they will let you know, and as they get older and the competition is harder, then you can think about them dropping a lb or 2 to get into a lower class, but not dropping 10lbs to get from 120 to 110 or something like that.

My parents were really strict about "bad foods", I just ended up eating a lot of junk when I wasn't around them (pre-teens & teens) and I got fat anyway because I had an unhealthy relationship with food. Forbidden fruits are that much sweeter, right? Anyway, just teach your kids about sometimes foods, and if grandmama or auntie sneak them too many treats ask them how they feel (probably sick to their stomach) and make it a lesson instead of a taboo.

This topic is strongly worded on purpose - partly for fun, and also because I'm tired of having to run interference with food pushers.

My kids are allowed sweets and treats in moderation - but the next person to sneak one of my kids a cookie behind my back may be force fed a full length video of my five year old crying after he gets his backside handed to him at his next wrestling tournament.

The fact that your 5 year old child cries long enough to make a full length video after losing a sporting event is very concerning. I would deal with that issue before worrying about a few cookies.

I have two boys who have grown up being fed a combination of fresh vegetables and fruits, lean meat, cheese, yoghurts, home made bread, lots of baked goods with appropriate frosting, occasional fast food and chocolates and sweets. They are now tall, strong young men who have never been overweight and can make their own healthy food choices. Seriously, Grandma feeding them a bar of chocolate or buying them doughnuts did not do them any harm at all, they grew up regarding all food as normal, nothing was prohibited. My sister-in-law banned all sweets and cakes, her two girls both developed very poor eating habits once their diet was under their own control, both now have problems with their weight and both have an unhealthy relationship with food. I think if you ban things and make a huge fuss then you just make them more attractive.

Youre a beautiful mother this is how I want to model food and weight for my son. My Mom was like your SIL...I struggle.

Hmmmm? So in a sense my Mom harmed me more than eating a piece of cake at Grandma's. Not to beat up my Mom she did the best she could with her limited education and wanted the best for her kids.

just quoting all of this because it's a really important point.

For clarity:

Neither of my children is cutting weight, and both have healthy diets.
Wrestling is their choice - I do not care which sport(s) they play, as long as they play hard, have fun, and stay healthy.
Overfeeding/overindulging children is not a kindness - it's a weakness - and it is harmful to them.

I stand by my earlier statement that you are projecting and blaming others for your own issues. If the sports were just for fun, you wouldn't have a five-year-old freaking out about losing a match. Your children are clearly getting the message that their value is defined by winning a match. Perhaps you should seek out a hobby or interest of your own, then your poor kids can have fun at sports without having to worry about winning to prop up Mommy's self-worth.

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QFT.

Grandparents and aunties especially, and friends and relatives everywhere - please, please, please, please, please ask parents first BEFORE offering children sweets and treats!!!!! And NEVER sneak them treats when parents say no.

Of course you're not harming them on purpose, but a diet with too many cookies, cakes, candy and sweets is never good for anyone, especially children, especially when they are busy - and there are a lot of "special visits" during the holidays, so your offer might be a child's sixth cookie for the day.

Kids don't yet have the ability to make considered choices about their nutrition; their parents do. If you're going around Mom and Dad to feed them high calorie, nutritionally void food - you're getting your own, warm, fuzzy, heart warming smile, "thank you," and, "I love you," AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.

Strong words stir a strong response...

As you say... the children don't understand.... they wont understand why they cant have it either and the upset they feel will only make them want it more... especially when they see their cousins or anyone else getting said sweets..
Are you not already teaching them being fat is the worst thing that will happen to them in their life and something to hate about oneself and something to be scared of?
You could educate your child not control it. You can teach your child the difference between a sometimes food and a most of the time food.
Every child is an individual... just as every adult is.. help them find the balance where they can still feel special because they have a naughty granny who sneaks them a treat every now and then and the healthy foods that help fuel your body and give you the ability to stay strong and play longer..
You are also within ur rights to say loud and clear.....yes but only 1 not free range which teaches the child moderation and keeps granny/aunty/naughty child harming ppl in check...which is what your so concerned about...not ur child but rather..being in control?

I don't have kids, but if I did and someone fed my child something after I specifically asked them not to, I would tell their child who Santa really is and remind them to ask you where babies come from.

HHahahahahahhahha

AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.

Lol wow, exaggerate much?

No. I'm just trying to keep them healthy. Sports/exercise are a part of keeping them healthy, and sports just aren't as fun if you lose all the time.
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Someone must have forgotten to tell my son that. Hejust finished up his first season playing pee-wee football. His team won a grand total of 1 game. He had a blast! He had a couple of morning games, and when I woke up on those Saturdays, he was up fully dressed andready to go, - pads and all.
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Exactly- like I said in my earlier post, kids that age don't care about winning. They want to be with their friends and have fun.

I'm handing out mini christmas cabbages (brussel sprouts) to kids now.. (that'll teach em):laugh:

I'd be 100% okay with getting those for Christmas. I love me some sprouts!

I don't have kids, but if I did and someone fed my child something after I specifically asked them not to, I would tell their child who Santa really is and remind them to ask you where babies come from.

So, to stay with what the OP said (calling out grandparents and aunties)....you'd say this to your nieces and nephews?

Reading this thread it seems a lot of people have a severe lack of perspective.

I just want to roll this thread... i want this title off my topics.
It's just a creepy title and a thread full of odd.

Someone... anyone... please help roll this!

Does anyone else want to go find the OP's kids and give them entire packages of cookies?

I do!!!

NO!!!!

Does anyone else want to go find the OP's kids and give them entire packages of cookies?

I do!!!

You bring cookies, I'll bring chocolate milk and pixie sticks.