Harming children to make yourself feel good?

FindingMyPerfection

So, today...my 3 year old is having a pancake for breakfast. And after he gets done with school (where he will ONLY eat a pb&j sandwich and fruit), he is gonna have french fries. And at some point he will have a fruit snack with his gummy vitamin. After dinner (probably pizza bites or fish sticks) he's gonna have a cookie. Oh, and yogurt, applesauce, some more fruit, some 'juice' (water with a touch of 100% juice for flavor), and who know what else. Guess what: he's in the top 95% of the height and weight scales, and is healthy as an ox.

Maybe for that, he will have another cookie.

Not that I care, but you do realize that being in the 95% of height and weight means your kid is bigger than 95% of the kids out there?

The only time to worry is if their height is on the low and and weight is on the high end or visa versa. If they are both around the same it is perfectly healthy!

TR0berts

or . . . . you as a parent could teach your child a bit of self control and . . . wait for it . . . .EXERCISE! :noway: believe it or not food isn't evil- even sugar filled delicious food


and yes I am the mother of 2 kids (3.5 and 5)

:huh: You want parents to... parent? GTFO.

ldrosophila

I will say that as someone who was raised from a strict health-nut mother (no sugar, no white flour, no chocolate) I attribute that to some of the reasons behind my morbid obesity. I did not have a weight problem until I reached puberty and started having more independence and access to the forbidden foods, and by the time I graduated high school I was binging and drinking nothing but sodas.

I believe if my mother had practiced moderation and not been under the belief "no bad food, Ever!" my relationship with food may have been better and I would have learned earlier that a little bit of everything is fine instead of trying to learn it as an adult.

Lets all repeat this there is no such thing as good food or bad food...food is only one thing healthful and all should be included in a way that emphasizes variety, moderation, and choices to ensure a healthy body.

PS-denying those treats from others is embarrassing to the child and sets it up that there is somehow something forbidden and taboo about this food. Instead of it just being a treat that you get when you go to Grandma's.

Cheeky_and_Geeky

So I recently took my 2 year old to the dentist to get a check up. He was pleasantly surprised that she didn't have any cavities. He said he sees more & more toddlers with cavities in the recent years. Does she get junk food & juice? Absolutely. Everything in moderation & she brushes her teeth 3X day. She's also in the bottom 25% in weight & height but she's always been tiny. I give her a variety of food options at every meal. I never force her to eat, only give her lots of options. Does she waste a ton of food? Absolutely. That's just the way it is. At least now I don't eat her leftovers!

nainai0585

Grandparents and aunties especially, and friends and relatives everywhere - please, please, please, please, please ask parents first BEFORE offering children sweets and treats!!!!! And NEVER sneak them treats when parents say no.

Of course you're not harming them on purpose, but a diet with too many cookies, cakes, candy and sweets is never good for anyone, especially children, especially when they are busy - and there are a lot of "special visits" during the holidays, so your offer might be a child's sixth cookie for the day.

Kids don't yet have the ability to make considered choices about their nutrition; their parents do. If you're going around Mom and Dad to feed them high calorie, nutritionally void food - you're getting your own, warm, fuzzy, heart warming smile, "thank you," and, "I love you," AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.

As a parent with 2 children, 1 with ADHD and another showing tendencies towards it (but is far too young for testing and medication IMO), I cannot agree more with this post!! PLEASE don't give my children treats or even food without asking first, and if they can't have it, I am more then willing to bring it home and give it to them at a better time.

britteliz1

I'm not a parent, but I'm concerned about people criticizing children for eating sweets every now and again.

I have a six year old niece who's skinny as a rail and anytime she has a snack, women in our family are always teasing her about how fat she's going to get. THAT's the kind of stuff that has lasting effects on children.

nainai0585

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/commenters who are misunderstanding the original post, commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

The reason for the edit is the poster below - he/she falls in the misunderstanding category

rml_16

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.

nainai0585

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.

Good for you.

greenhudler

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

Exactly.

rml_16

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.

Good for you.

You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.

I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?

Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.

callie006

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

Exactly.

While I agree about the OP being blown way out of proportion, and I also agree that asking parents of young children before giving them food is a good idea (see my agreement waaay up thread), I think the inflammatory title of the post skewed the discussion away from this much less controversial point. That title seems as if it were meant to stir up something.

neandermagnon

I am not so worried that my kids would be on their sixth cookie, but that someone may give them an allergen. My kids are lucky they are not allergic to anything but my niece was 6 months old and someone at a holiday party thought it was a good idea to "sneak her a taste" of a peanut butter cup. Needless to say it was a fun holiday night spent at the ER for their family. Turns out she is allergic to peanuts. You just never know so better safe than sorry.

^^^ this

my 3 year old daughter's allergic to certain foods, and will vomit approximately 30 mins after eating them then break out in hives. It's not severe enough for her to have to go to A&E, but if she vomits on someone's carpet because they gave her food without checking with me first, then I'm not going to be much inclined to help them clean the carpet, and I'll be busy comforting my child and giving her her allergy medicine. So the allergen issue is a big deal (and life threatening for some kids), plus it's just plain disrespectful to go against a parent's wishes with their child.

That said, I do not agree with the OP in relation to treat foods being given to kids being harmful to the child (though yes it should be with the parents' say so). Having six cookies in a day won't harm a child (unless they're allergic or similar). If my kids go to a party, then I want them to enjoy the food as much as anyone else, including cookies and sweets and whatever, and as for the little one and her allergies, well she already restricted in what she can eat, so no point putting further restrictions on her. She likes to be able to enjoy the same foods as everyone else. Just like with adults, it's what they do in the normal day to day life that makes the difference in terms of health, not one off occasions like parties. They eat a healthy balanced diet so a few cookies or sweets at a party won't do them any harm.

chandanista

nainai0585

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.

Good for you.

You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.

I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?

Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.

Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.

Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?

btwinkles

Hysterical!!!!! LMBO!!

Flab2fitfi

I agree with checking with the parents before offering food to a child. You might not know them well enough and there could be an allergy or intollorance. For example , my youngest has to avoid sulfate , which means no dried fruits for the most part. I don't however get mad if my parents give my kids ice cream or a nice biscuit (cookie) I know they always have healthy options available as well as treats. Though healthy food that we don't usually have at home can be a treat too.

I think to say that all treats are harmful is a bit harsh. Though I do think a parents wish needs to be respected. The only harm is if the said 'treat' could kill or make that kid sick.

I have two who cant have milk and at a recent party someone thought it would be ok to give my daughter a chocolate bar. Felt like leaving her with them for the next 48 hours while she was sick.

FredDoyle

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/commenters who are misunderstanding the original post, commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

The reason for the edit is the poster below - he/she falls in the misunderstanding category

Soccer moms unite!

UsedToBeHusky

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.

Good for you.

You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.

I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?

Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.

Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.

Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?

Actually, I don't disagree with the OP.

I do, however, disagree with the OP's sensationalistic rationale that the children will be harmed if they eat something that a parent has not given them permission to eat.

I am a parent. I have set rules, and I have had family members break them. It's crappy, but it's not an overly big deal, and the OP is kind of crappy for turning this mole hill into a mountain.

rml_16

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.

Good for you.

You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.

I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?

Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.

Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.

Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?

So you are the only one who understood the OP?