Harming children to make yourself feel good?
Replies
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You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.
I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
Good for you.
I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?
Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.0 -
While I agree about the OP being blown way out of proportion, and I also agree that asking parents of young children before giving them food is a good idea (see my agreement waaay up thread), I think the inflammatory title of the post skewed the discussion away from this much less controversial point. That title seems as if it were meant to stir up something.
Exactly.The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.0 -
I am not so worried that my kids would be on their sixth cookie, but that someone may give them an allergen. My kids are lucky they are not allergic to anything but my niece was 6 months old and someone at a holiday party thought it was a good idea to "sneak her a taste" of a peanut butter cup. Needless to say it was a fun holiday night spent at the ER for their family. Turns out she is allergic to peanuts. You just never know so better safe than sorry.
^^^ this
my 3 year old daughter's allergic to certain foods, and will vomit approximately 30 mins after eating them then break out in hives. It's not severe enough for her to have to go to A&E, but if she vomits on someone's carpet because they gave her food without checking with me first, then I'm not going to be much inclined to help them clean the carpet, and I'll be busy comforting my child and giving her her allergy medicine. So the allergen issue is a big deal (and life threatening for some kids), plus it's just plain disrespectful to go against a parent's wishes with their child.
That said, I do not agree with the OP in relation to treat foods being given to kids being harmful to the child (though yes it should be with the parents' say so). Having six cookies in a day won't harm a child (unless they're allergic or similar). If my kids go to a party, then I want them to enjoy the food as much as anyone else, including cookies and sweets and whatever, and as for the little one and her allergies, well she already restricted in what she can eat, so no point putting further restrictions on her. She likes to be able to enjoy the same foods as everyone else. Just like with adults, it's what they do in the normal day to day life that makes the difference in terms of health, not one off occasions like parties. They eat a healthy balanced diet so a few cookies or sweets at a party won't do them any harm.0 -
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Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.
I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
Good for you.
I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?
Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.
Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?0 -
Hysterical!!!!! LMBO!!0 -
I agree with checking with the parents before offering food to a child. You might not know them well enough and there could be an allergy or intollorance. For example , my youngest has to avoid sulfate , which means no dried fruits for the most part. I don't however get mad if my parents give my kids ice cream or a nice biscuit (cookie) I know they always have healthy options available as well as treats. Though healthy food that we don't usually have at home can be a treat too.
I think to say that all treats are harmful is a bit harsh. Though I do think a parents wish needs to be respected. The only harm is if the said 'treat' could kill or make that kid sick.
I have two who cant have milk and at a recent party someone thought it would be ok to give my daughter a chocolate bar. Felt like leaving her with them for the next 48 hours while she was sick.0 -
Soccer moms unite!Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/commenters who are misunderstanding the original post, commenting.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
The reason for the edit is the poster below - he/she falls in the misunderstanding category0 -
Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.
I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
Good for you.
I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?
Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.
Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?
Actually, I don't disagree with the OP.
I do, however, disagree with the OP's sensationalistic rationale that the children will be harmed if they eat something that a parent has not given them permission to eat.
I am a parent. I have set rules, and I have had family members break them. It's crappy, but it's not an overly big deal, and the OP is kind of crappy for turning this mole hill into a mountain.0 -
So you are the only one who understood the OP?
Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.
I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
Good for you.
I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?
Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.
Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?0 -
My father's mother and grandmother did this to me, fed me candy bars, cookies, whatever I wanted that was loaded with sugar, because they had a grudge against my mother. But it's me who is paying the price and I feel like I have an addiction to sugar and have battled with my weight all my life. People really don't realize the damage they can do to children.
You poor thing! They completely ruined your life and took away all of your willpower!
/sarcasm. Get a grip.0 -
This might be allowed...
Do I even want to know what a "formed beef chunk" is?0 -
damn, I should of jumped in ealier..late to show..0
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This content has been removed.
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Some of these threads.....:noway:0
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Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.
I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
Good for you.
I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?
Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.
Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?
Actually, I don't disagree with the OP.
I do, however, disagree with the OP's sensationalistic rationale that the children will be harmed if they eat something that a parent has not given them permission to eat.
I am a parent. I have set rules, and I have had family members break them. It's crappy, but it's not an overly big deal, and the OP is kind of crappy for turning this mole hill into a mountain.
I don't believe she is implying that the children will be harmed by the treats - which is where A LOT of people misunderstood her - she is simply saying to not give the child a treat just to make yourself fell better.
Yes, the title is misleading and probably not the one she intended or the one she thought would cause such a slew of misunderstanding.0 -
I don't believe she is implying that the children will be harmed by the treats - which is where A LOT of people misunderstood her - she is simply saying to not give the child a treat just to make yourself fell better.
Yes, the title is misleading and probably not the one she intended or the one she thought would cause such a slew of misunderstanding.
Directly from the OP:If you're going around Mom and Dad to feed them high calorie, nutritionally void food - you're getting your own, warm, fuzzy, heart warming smile, "thank you," and, "I love you," AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.0 -
Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.
I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
Good for you.
I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?
Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.
Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?
Actually, I don't disagree with the OP.
I do, however, disagree with the OP's sensationalistic rationale that the children will be harmed if they eat something that a parent has not given them permission to eat.
I am a parent. I have set rules, and I have had family members break them. It's crappy, but it's not an overly big deal, and the OP is kind of crappy for turning this mole hill into a mountain.
I don't believe she is implying that the children will be harmed by the treats - which is where A LOT of people misunderstood her - she is simply saying to not give the child a treat just to make yourself fell better.
Yes, the title is misleading and probably not the one she intended or the one she thought would cause such a slew of misunderstanding.
The OP said the following in the very last sentence of her post:in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.
The meaning of her post is pretty clear. It's not just in the title. She summed herself up with this statement. It's pretty accusatory and straight-forward... and ridiculously over-dramatic.0 -
People I don't want to be around during the holidays (or any other time): sugar Nazis.
It's one thing to not let your kids eat candy every day. It's entirely another to tell your kids' grandparents and aunts and uncle not to give them a freaking cookie at Christmas. Unless your kid has an allergy, I think you should get over it.
this x a million0 -
Grandparents and aunties especially, and friends and relatives everywhere - please, please, please, please, please ask parents first BEFORE offering children sweets and treats!!!!! And NEVER sneak them treats when parents say no.
Of course you're not harming them on purpose, but a diet with too many cookies, cakes, candy and sweets is never good for anyone, especially children, especially when they are busy - and there are a lot of "special visits" during the holidays, so your offer might be a child's sixth cookie for the day.
Kids don't yet have the ability to make considered choices about their nutrition; their parents do. If you're going around Mom and Dad to feed them high calorie, nutritionally void food - you're getting your own, warm, fuzzy, heart warming smile, "thank you," and, "I love you," AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.
Okay, the topic sentence is pretty sensational. LOLz at that.
If it's a day or two "special visit" and the child doesn't have sensitivities, 6 cookies might not be a big deal.
One thing that would bother me (and did) is that some parents have custody agreements where a parent may have a child for an extended period of time (over the summer, a week or more over the holidays, etc) and during that time don't provide the child with food with nutritional value, or have it on hand, but allow the child to eat nothing but "empty calories".
Some people really are that extreme and that's not a good thing.0 -
why do I have the feeling that OP hands out carrot sticks at Halloween....0
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Grandparents and aunties especially, and friends and relatives everywhere - please, please, please, please, please ask parents first BEFORE offering children sweets and treats!!!!! And NEVER sneak them treats when parents say no.
To be perfectly frank, I would be disappointed if my children's grandparents didn't spoil my kids a bit, behind my back and against my wishes.0 -
So you are the only one who understood the OP?
Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.
I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
Good for you.
I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?
Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.
Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?
No of course not, but myself and a very select few seem to be able to read between the lines and understand the meaning of the post without going off on a tangent and becoming trolls or attacking the post and the poster.
We understand this:
1) ASK THE PARENT FIRST before giving the child a treat or other food product. WHY? Dietary restrictions, religious or cultural restrictions, medications, allergies, etc.
2) DON'T GIVE FOOD TO A CHILD JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER. Why? Because your need to 'feel better about yourself by feeding the child WITHOUT ASKING THE PARENT' could either cause some type of adverse reaction to the child OR could potentially kill them (take SEVERE allergies as an example).
Common people, this is not rocket science, its common sense. Just ask the parent if its ok, in most cases it is, in others its not. Don't take it as an attack to your person, but simple as a parent putting their child's BEST INTEREST first before your moral gratitude.0 -
Grandparents and aunties especially, and friends and relatives everywhere - please, please, please, please, please ask parents first BEFORE offering children sweets and treats!!!!! And NEVER sneak them treats when parents say no.
To be perfectly frank, I would be disappointed if my children's grandparents didn't spoil my kids a bit, behind my back and against my wishes.
That's my plan! Now if my kids would just cooperate and gimme grandbehbehs!!!0 -
No of course not, but myself and a very select few seem to be able to read between the lines and understand the meaning of the post without going off on a tangent and becoming trolls or attacking the post and the poster.
So most of us read what she actually wrote (see excerpts above) and a few others "read between the lines," and the rest of us don't actually understand the OP? But the people who read what she didn't actually write understand the OP?
I got ya.
Shame on me for, you know, reading what she wrote and assuming she meant it. You're just so much smarter than the rest of us. :flowerforyou:0 -
So you are the only one who understood the OP?
Allow me to break my simple, 2 sentence comment for you into small portions:
You accused people who disagreed with the OP of not being parents.
I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
Good for you.
I point out that at least one of the people disagreeing with the OP is a parent and this is your answer?
Make up your mind. It matters or it doesn't. You don't get to have it both ways.
Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.
- As you can see, childless people, trolls, AND people misunderstanding the OP are commenting and attacking the OP (you obviously fall into the MISUNDERSTANDING category since you clearly misunderstood me not once, but twice.
The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.
- Since there where SO FEW commenters who actually understood what the OP was trying to say (those people may only fill 1 to 2 pages) I felt it was necessary to CLARIFY what he/she was trying to tell all those people who DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ARE TROLLS/CHILDLESS PEOPLE who have NEVER experienced having to care for children for long periods of time.
Do you finally understand or should I break this down more for you?
No of course not, but myself and a very select few seem to be able to read between the lines and understand the meaning of the post without going off on a tangent and becoming trolls or attacking the post and the poster.
We understand this:
1) ASK THE PARENT FIRST before giving the child a treat or other food product. WHY? Dietary restrictions, religious or cultural restrictions, medications, allergies, etc.
2) DON'T GIVE FOOD TO A CHILD JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER. Why? Because your need to 'feel better about yourself by feeding the child WITHOUT ASKING THE PARENT' could either cause some type of adverse reaction to the child OR could potentially kill them (take SEVERE allergies as an example).
Common people, this is not rocket science, its common sense. Just ask the parent if its ok, in most cases it is, in others its not. Don't take it as an attack to your person, but simple as a parent putting their child's BEST INTEREST first before your moral gratitude.
Sorry... but I have tendency to believe that people mean what they say, and say what they mean.
The point of her post was to be inflammatory, generate controversy, and attract the general nonsense that comes when someone feels it necessary to use the forums to impose their own perspective on other people's behavior.0 -
I thought this was going to be a post about munchausen syndrome by proxy. Because, harming children? Seriously?0
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Just want to see how this goes.0
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I don't believe she is implying that the children will be harmed by the treats - which is where A LOT of people misunderstood her - she is simply saying to not give the child a treat just to make yourself fell better.
Yes, the title is misleading and probably not the one she intended or the one she thought would cause such a slew of misunderstanding.
Directly from the OP:If you're going around Mom and Dad to feed them high calorie, nutritionally void food - you're getting your own, warm, fuzzy, heart warming smile, "thank you," and, "I love you," AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.
By going behind the parents back, you could potentially kill the child due to severe allergies (some are unknown at the time, like the earlier post of the 6 month old who was fed a peanut butter cup and suffered a severe allergy attack, causing the parents to spend the night in the ER). There can also be the adverse effect of the extreme sugar rush in some children, or terrible stomach aches. What about the religious or cultural restrictions that do not allow certain foods to be consumed? Are you aware of all the medication or dietary restrictions the child has, certain foods/ingredients may not be allowed due to their effect on the medication or the child's doctor has stated that the child cannot consume anything with that product in it.
You may very well be harming the child just to make yourself feel better that you had given them something to eat.0 -
Harming children always makes me feel good.0
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