Holy sexism, batman!

1.) don't go about walking when you are several drinks in
2.) don't walk about like you are a victim (head down no eye contact)

We smell your fear, ladies... We smell it because we're savage and sexist animals who prey on the weaklings.

body language says volumes... there is a reason certain people get messed with more than others.

Truth. Head up, shoulders square, and walk with a purpose. That says "Don't fk with me."

Head down, slowly sauntering, avoiding contact.... "I'm a helpless little girl... come n get me!"

But you know darned good and well that doesn't absolve men of the responsibility to treat them with human dignity, that's the difference!

Calling out to a girl saying she's sexy or whatever harms her dignity? If it does she's definitely got some other issues going on

What exactly are you including in "or whatever", because that's where the harm comes in. The other is just rude, not harmful.

True story. I mean, saying "you're sexy" and saying "b*tch I'ma tap that *kitten*" is a little different... but still. Agreed.

Yes. One would get ignored, whereas the other one is vomit-inducing.

Ignored?! You would IGNORE me?! That's vomit-inducingly rude :sad: :sad:

Unless we as a gender are going to start refusing the perks that come with men finding us physically attractive (a drink sent over by the gentleman over there, anyone?), it seems disingenuous to be outraged when the attention we get isn't the kind we want or that benefits us in some way. That doesn't mean that catcalls and having things shouted at us is ok, it's simply the bad side of the same coin.

If you're serious that we have to accept that sort of behavior in exchange for having "a drink sent over by the gentleman over there", then oh my god yes, we should totally refuse.

If I don't have money to pay my own way, I don't go out. Why on earth would it be a man's obligation to pay for my drinks? (note, taking turns paying for going out to dinner and such is not what I'm talking about).

No, my point is that we as women seem to have no problem with men only taking into the account the physical when it works in our favor, then scream about being objectified when the attention is unwanted. I never see women complaining about getting free upgrades or getting out of speeding tickets because the other party thought they were attractive. The knife cuts both ways.

I've always been able to pay my own way and I don't believe that it's a man's obligation to pay for anything (just ask my husband), but that doesn't mean I'm oblivious to the fact that men are doing nice things for me because of the way I look and not because of my Master's degree. I doubt we're going to see a big feminist movement demanding those practices end, because we justify things we like as acceptable practices in courtship.

1.) don't go about walking when you are several drinks in
2.) don't walk about like you are a victim (head down no eye contact)

We smell your fear, ladies... We smell it because we're savage and sexist animals who prey on the weaklings.

body language says volumes... there is a reason certain people get messed with more than others.

Truth. Head up, shoulders square, and walk with a purpose. That says "Don't fk with me."

Head down, slowly sauntering, avoiding contact.... "I'm a helpless little girl... come n get me!"

But you know darned good and well that doesn't absolve men of the responsibility to treat them with human dignity, that's the difference!

agreed- just because I know what I am and am confident doesn't mean it's ALLOWABLE/ACCEPTABLE for them to be doing that- it just mitigates part of the issue.

I have become accustomed to men buying me things and actually do expect it when I go out single. However i do not consider it a trade off for being treated shabbily. I feel men are capable of treating me with respect AND buying me drinks. I have a lot of faith in them.

also- I would never nope nope nope.
People buy me things if we are on a date- because THEY ASKED for my company- I don't black and white date/paying not paying- but If a guy asked me out- I would expect him to pay. I never expect people to pay for me just because I'm single and out and about- I'm not a 5 year old little girl. I'm a grown *kitten* woman- I pay for my own things- heads off a LOT of problems. To much qid pro quo- drinks lead to expectations that often get turned into butt hurt feelings which wind up in ackward places.

I can't STOP someone from sending a drink over- but I never expect it and I don't appreciate people walking up and asking if they can buy me a drink just to start a conversation- that's just... meh- so lame.

Unless we as a gender are going to start refusing the perks that come with men finding us physically attractive (a drink sent over by the gentleman over there, anyone?), it seems disingenuous to be outraged when the attention we get isn't the kind we want or that benefits us in some way. That doesn't mean that catcalls and having things shouted at us is ok, it's simply the bad side of the same coin.

If you're serious that we have to accept that sort of behavior in exchange for having "a drink sent over by the gentleman over there", then oh my god yes, we should totally refuse.

If I don't have money to pay my own way, I don't go out. Why on earth would it be a man's obligation to pay for my drinks? (note, taking turns paying for going out to dinner and such is not what I'm talking about).

No, my point is that we as women seem to have no problem with men only taking into the account the physical when it works in our favor, then scream about being objectified when the attention is unwanted. I never see women complaining about getting free upgrades or getting out of speeding tickets because the other party thought they were attractive. The knife cuts both ways.

I've always been able to pay my own way and I don't believe that it's a man's obligation to pay for anything (just ask my husband), but that doesn't mean I'm oblivious to the fact that men are doing nice things for me because of the way I look and not because of my Master's degree. I doubt we're going to see a big feminist movement demanding those practices end, because we justify things we like as acceptable practices in courtship.

Ya keep saying "we as women" like we're this monolithic thing that behaves identically. Not all men behave in a sexist, douchey way, so I don't make statements about "all men".

Getting free upgrades or getting out of speeding tickets because the other party thought they were attractive is repugnant to me as well. If it isn't to you, well, I really don't think we have any common ground to discuss this further.

Unless we as a gender are going to start refusing the perks that come with men finding us physically attractive (a drink sent over by the gentleman over there, anyone?), it seems disingenuous to be outraged when the attention we get isn't the kind we want or that benefits us in some way. That doesn't mean that catcalls and having things shouted at us is ok, it's simply the bad side of the same coin.

If you're serious that we have to accept that sort of behavior in exchange for having "a drink sent over by the gentleman over there", then oh my god yes, we should totally refuse.

If I don't have money to pay my own way, I don't go out. Why on earth would it be a man's obligation to pay for my drinks? (note, taking turns paying for going out to dinner and such is not what I'm talking about).

No, my point is that we as women seem to have no problem with men only taking into the account the physical when it works in our favor, then scream about being objectified when the attention is unwanted. I never see women complaining about getting free upgrades or getting out of speeding tickets because the other party thought they were attractive. The knife cuts both ways.

I've always been able to pay my own way and I don't believe that it's a man's obligation to pay for anything (just ask my husband), but that doesn't mean I'm oblivious to the fact that men are doing nice things for me because of the way I look and not because of my Master's degree. I doubt we're going to see a big feminist movement demanding those practices end, because we justify things we like as acceptable practices in courtship.

Ya keep saying "we as women" like we're this monolithic thing that behaves identically. Not all men behave in a sexist, douchey way, so I don't make statements about "all men".

Getting free upgrades or getting out of speeding tickets because the other party thought they were attractive is repugnant to me as well. If it isn't to you, well, I really don't think we have any common ground to discuss this further.

Please... you're telling me you'd be like "no officer please give me the ticket" lol

If he told me he was going to tear it up because he liked my tits, you bet your life I would. I would also get his badge number and report him.

I don't mean you, but these guys did apparently do it to the OP at night when she was walking alone. Not cool and getting into scary territory, yes, imho. I don't mean they were definitely scary guys, but there's no need to do it then. C'mon guys. Use some common sense.

Perhaps, like OP, these guys had been drinking. Ergo, common sense wasn't a particularly strong option.

I'm not "excusing" their behavior - partly because I don't know what was said - but there's a bit of a difference between pointedly trying to harass OP and simply not being able to censor oneself.

I agree. The problem for me is that I still have to be on heightened alert around them, and so it's not something I enjoy. But I don't automatically assume they mean to do harm. Just that they might mean to, so I get to worry. Sucks!

Wow, this is still going! I approve. :drinker:

I'm here for ya, sweet-cheeks.

"Sweet cheeks" how sexually demeaning of you to speak to her that way. Are you feeling rapey?

Like I said before, sarcastic and hateful.

No just showing that you can call her sweet cheeks, but your saying a male doing it irl means he wants to be demeaning....

So, are you saying you didn't get the satirical use then?

True story. I mean, saying "you're sexy" and saying "b*tch I'ma tap that *kitten*" is a little different... but still. Agreed.

Yes. One would get ignored, whereas the other one is vomit-inducing.

Ignored?! You would IGNORE me?! That's vomit-inducingly rude :sad: :sad:

True story. I mean, saying "you're sexy" and saying "b*tch I'ma tap that *kitten*" is a little different... but still. Agreed.

Yes. One would get ignored, whereas the other one is vomit-inducing.

Ignored?! You would IGNORE me?! That's vomit-inducingly rude :sad: :sad:

I know you're joking, but I have had men get threatening and confrontational when I ignored them after they said something to me. (For the record, the first time this happened I was fourteen and the guy was probably in his 40s. He told a friend and me that we were pretty, then got mad when we ignored him. Wound up following us for several city blocks, saying increasingly violent and obscene things, and we had to run to a gas station and call the cops. So it's no surprise that this is a touchy subject for me.)

Women tend to be paranoid and hypersensitive, if you're male, just walking on the same street at night with an alone female can get you harassed by police.

Feminists fill women's head with phoney and bogus rape statistics such as the classic 1 in 4 women will be raped, and who gets stereotyped as being a potential rapist in every scenario possible? MEN.

You literally can not say or do anything to a woman these days, no matter how friendly lest you are charged with some BS harassment lawsuit because she just feels subjectively 'threatened' in some way. These are all symptoms of a hate movement called feminism.

Yeah, you're not helping the male cause here, buddy.

Women tend to be paranoid and hypersensitive, if you're male, just walking on the same street at night with an alone female can get you harassed by police.

Feminists fill women's head with phoney and bogus rape statistics such as the classic 1 in 4 women will be raped, and who gets stereotyped as being a potential rapist in every scenario possible? MEN.

You literally can not say or do anything to a woman these days, no matter how friendly lest you are charged with some BS harassment lawsuit because she just feels subjectively 'threatened' in some way. These are all symptoms of a hate movement called feminism.

Women tend to be paranoid and hypersensitive, if you're male, just walking on the same street at night with an alone female can get you harassed by police.

Feminists fill women's head with phoney and bogus rape statistics such as the classic 1 in 4 women will be raped, and who gets stereotyped as being a potential rapist in every scenario possible? MEN.

You literally can not say or do anything to a woman these days, no matter how friendly lest you are charged with some BS harassment lawsuit because she just feels subjectively 'threatened' in some way. These are all symptoms of a hate movement called feminism.

What a dumb post