Need to Lose 100 LBS -Robins Thread !

I want to apologize to everyone. I know I haven't been very active on here. I jump on to read and get motivated but haven't offered much support in return. I really don't know what my problem is. Even though I haven't been sleeping well I get up ready to tackle the day but the longer the day goes on the more emotional I become and the more drained I feel. By the time I get home all I want to do is throw a blanket over my head and hide. I also noticed a lot more negative self-talk. I would think if it was depression I would just be depressed all the time but I am fine throughout the first part of the day. BUT I have logged my food and exercise for two days and am hoping I can find some peace in working on myself again. I just hope this ends soon.

@michelle--I agree with kelley that sleep can definitely affect mood. Try to get more shut-eye (this insomniac knows that's easier said than done! :ohwell: ). Also, you don't ever need to apologize for not commenting--there's no rule that you have to give advice, comments, etc. Sometimes just seeing what others are going through helps us just as much as getting their 2 cents. I know I go through periods when I'm so busy grading I just can't get to personals--it's all good. :flowerforyou:

@kelley--I'm sure the 2 cruises will be well worth it!

AFM--Okay, so I really need to rant about my crazy MIL. Most of you know the back-story, but for those who are new, here's the short version. MIL is meddlesome and lonely. She's already driven away her youngest grandson and his family, had an "intervention" for my BIL b/c she decided he was bi-polar, fought with my SIL all summer by meddling in her marriage. It was really just a matter of time before my husband and I were in her cross-hairs.

Right before Thanksgiving she called and left a message that she wanted to talk to me about Christmas. When I responded, she began a whole diatribe about how my husband is going to die b/c he smokes and drinks and is "living in a world of pain" due to resentments about his childhood. She even went so far as to lie to me and say he TOLD HER this. Even if my husband wanted to share something like that, he would NEVER share it with her b/c she blows everything out of proportion and creates drama wherever she goes.

My DH didn't respond right away b/c he was angry, and then even when he was no longer angry, he knew she would start a fight when he did finally talk to her. Of course that's exactly what happened. He asked her to NOT drag me into the middle of her drama and basically told her to mind her own business and she went off on him. He responded by telling her to stop calling (she calls constantly) unless she needs something b/c he's sick of her negativity and drama. That was about a month ago and it has been so peaceful to not have to deal with her--I know that's mean to say, but it's the truth.

Anyways, when I was writing out xmas cards I asked DH what he wanted me to do about his mom. He wanted to send her a card and a check (she's always strapped for cash), but I told him I wanted him to fill out the card b/c I didn't want her to misinterpret it as coming from me (b/c I don't want to get in the middle of their fight). So he filled out the card (he kept it light--something like "Merry Christmas--take a friend to dinner") and I addressed it and sent it off to her.

Cut to today. We receive a Christmas card addressed to both of us. The check is inside with VOID written across it. Inside is a note. TO ME! "I am so sorry Karen that you thought I was criticizing you or your qualities as a wife. I've always been supportive of you. I spoke only regarding [my son's] health and well-being. Anything else was your interpretation. [His] RANT at me clearly demonstrates his need for counseling. Disowning his own mother, really? Mother's love is totally unconditional! I'll always love [my son] and you Karen. Thank you for the check, but no thank you--it would be better put to use getting [my son] some help. Love you both, always, Mom."

:explode: :mad: :grumble: :noway: There truly are not enough graphics to convey how ridiculous this is!! Please be assured, I heard my husband's "rant" at her. Did he raise his voice? Yes. Was it b/c she was--as usual--refusing to listen to what he was trying to tell her about not meddling? Yes. It was not a rant--it was literally a 2 minute phone call from start to finish. He tried to tell her not to drag me into her drama and she refused to acknowledge that she had done anything wrong. He then yelled OVER her protestations to not call unless she needs something and hung up on her.

Just to be clear, my husband is pretty soft-spoken most of the time. I've heard him yell at work but only when someone is doing something stupid and dangerous--like starting an engine when his hand is up inside it. I've heard him yell AT his mom maybe one or two other times in almost 24 years. He certainly biotches about her to me and his siblings more often, but he tries very hard to be nice to her, even when she doesn't deserve it. He doesn't yell at me and rarely even loses his temper--I would like to think it's b/c I'm perfect, but he deserves some credit. He is NOT depressed and doesn't need counseling, so how do we deal with a woman who has decided to diagnose him (with no degrees to qualify her) and refuses to entertain the idea that she's off the mark here?

Do I respond? I don't understand why she wrote the note to me. I NEVER said I thought she was criticizing my traits as a wife and I know my husband never said that either b/c I heard his phone call to her. Obviously, this is as fabricated as her belief that he's depressed. I also find it ironic that the ONE THING her son asked her to do--LEAVE KAREN OUT OF THIS--she ignores and writes me this crazy note. A note that she knows he will see b/c she addressed the envelope to both of us. I feel like the note to me implies that she thinks I'm keeping her son from her, and if I don't respond, I'm somehow confirming that to her.

They say you can't argue with crazy, but a part of me wants to set her straight. If I knew we would never have contact with her again, I honestly wouldn't even care what she thinks of me. However, if this blows over I don't want her holding it against me down the road. What do you guys think?

Happy New Year. :frown:

Skinny ....... Wow, you make my life seem pretty boring…


Personally, I wouldn't respond. If you do, I think it will just feed into her delusion. She was looking for attention and if you give it to her, you'll keep her busy for ages.

I'm glad I was able to jump on this thread before the new year! My Challenge for January is to eat clean, get back into the routime of exercising, juicing and to journal. Pretty much it's about Mind, Body and Soul! What a why to start off the new year and try to get that mind set going.

As a newbie to this thread I want to say Happy New Year and I look forward to the challenge!!

Stacey

@Karen~Just when you thought you had a break from the MIL drama. Like Kris and Kaye said, I definitely wouldn't feed into it - I think she is just looking for attention at this point. I remember you mentioning she suggested counseling to your parents. I think you and DH just need to ignore her and move forward, she is a piece of work! Hugs to you and DH for showing restraint and having the patience to deal with her up until now, I know its a tough situation.

Well, after a couple of glasses of wine I'm sleepy - its after midnight on the east coast, I hope that counts for making it until midnight! :laugh:

Karen -- Wow! I agree with what you have already heard and decided...just leave it be. I can't believe she's trying to drag your mother into this too! Sorry you have to deal with this. I, luckily, do not, but my best friend has a mother that is bi-polar and a mother in law that sways in and out of the "crazy" pool.

I got a Fitbit One tonight. :flowerforyou: My husband made a trip to Best Buy to get a new computer and printer and I asked him to price the Fitbits there. It fell in line with all the other places to buy them, so he picked it up too. I got it basically before we laid on the couch and watched two movies, so tomorrow will be my first official day with it. Happy New Year to me!

Tonight was suppose to be going to the gym and getting in some C25K. I had read somewhere that my gym was open until 6 -- nope...closed at 5, so didn't get that in. And when I looked at the temp gauge in my van, it read -11 and was super windy out...no doing it outside either.

I too will be resetting my ticker tomorrow to get a fresh, honest start. I'm a bit afraid! :sick: Happy New Year to you all! Looking forward to a wonderful 2014 with you.

Tracy

Happy new years all! I'm exhausted but not from intentionally staying up for the new year after a looong and busy shift in the ER I finally came home to enjoy my kiddies who did want to go bed And now I am up bright and early with my 2 year old who does not know the concept of "sleeping in" lol. New Years goal: to keep up at a steady pace become a healthy weight and maintain it, and keep a confidence in my self that no one can bring down. I will do my best to not let anyone get in the way if my relationship with me.

@skinnyjeans I hope things have gotten a bit better. I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I know how it can get your blood boiling even thinking about it days later. Do your best to realize that you have your family to love and cherish that does not need any negative influence to affect.

Well to start the new year off right- I'll go work out!

Happy New Year everybody!...and here's to a New You!! :drinker: :flowerforyou: Let me start with some gratitude. Thanks to everyone for the insights, inspiration, and just putting yourselves out here for us to see. The idea of putting this super personal information out really engenders accountability and inspiration!!!

Lauriek70 and skinnyjeanzbo: Thanks for being teachers, and working towards healthier versions of yourselves! I'm new to being a teacher and trying to keep all the professional and personal components of my life together. It's an inspiration to see that you just add what you've graded or have to grade right along with your goals and successes!

Skinnyjeanzbo: I like reading your posts broken down into what you do at the gym and the other stats. Keep on it!

RobinsEgg: Thanks for making this message board, and for the "one thing at a time" and "food logging" advice. I totally believe that it is easier to make small changes one at a time, to build up to great success later! In fact, I think food logging should be where I first begin to build habits. Before joining this site, I did log food for three weeks and it did help me really take a look at my food intake and make appropriate adjustments!

Grandmakaye44: I'm sorry for your loss to your community and church family, this too shall pass. Thanks for opening up your pound gaining -that will come off, you can get that back off sister!- and for all the hopes, prayers, and uplifting you've given to us. P.S. "Onward and downward" is a cute mantra!

Naceto- Thanks for the encouragement you've given and the reminder that success starts here!!

JNettie73- Thanks for the advice and well-wishes!

Wednesday-wishes: I wish that from this day forward, I stop procrastinating and then making excuses as to why I'm so inactive/couch-"potatoey" at times, and just stay busy! I wish that I attain, and maintain the attitudes that "smooth and steady wins the race" and that "Rome wasn't built in a day". My health goals and work towards them need to be considered a daily (not here-and there) work-in-progress until it becomes just my lifestyle in the end-if there is an end!! I wish that I'll be so busy this year that I won't even have time to consider eating out of boredom. I wish that that busy feeling doesn't convert into stress, but just a factual sense that I have stuff to do, and then I do it. I wish not to be a stress eater and not have or cause myself undue stress because I will "aim small" to "miss small". I wish to receive a real feeling of accomplishment for each and every pound I begin to lose and for each healthy meal I prepare, for each glass of water I drink and each moment I devote to going to the gym and/or exercise!! I wish for great things for me, and for great things for you all!!

Best of luck in reaching everyone's goals for optimal health from me to you!

Wednesday Wish: I wish everyone a year of success on their weight loss journey. I wish for everyone to find strength to the hurdles they encounter along the way.

It's the 1st of the month so that means measurement and progress pictures for me. I have not done the progress pictures yet. A lot of my measurements remained the same. I am ok with that because I saw a significant decrease in the bust, waist and hips. Here are my measurements for the month.

Starting: Last Month: Current:
Neck: 16.3 15.5 15.5
Left arm: 17 16.5 16 (.5 in loss)
Right arm: 16.5 16 16
Bust: 51 51 49.5 (1.5 in loss!!!)
Waist: 50 49.5 47.5 (2 in loss!!!)
Hips: 54.5 53 51.5 (1.5 in loss!!!)
Right thigh: 32 31 31
Left thigh: 31 30 30

I am up approximately 2 lbs today from yesterday however my sodium was through the roof yesterday :blushing: yesterday so I think that has a lot to do with it.

Do you all remember how I bought Brian his weight set for Christmas? Well he has put them in my art/workout room (which I don't mind) but has not touched them since moving them in there. :noway: It is not like he doesn't have the time either, he is on vacation this week. If he has time to sit on the couch, play xbox and eat cookies and candy he certainly has time to lift some weights. I brought it up in conversation and asked if he planned on using them. His response was yes but he isn't ready to use them yet. I love my husband dearly but I know that translates to I intend to use them "one day". Which truly means, most likely he will never touch them. So every day I have been pushing the issue right before I work out. I know I shouldn't nag him. It's so wrong on so many levels and I would be furious if he did it to me. But I can't help myself. I want him to get healthier too. I want him around for a long time. Anyhow my nagging paid off. Twice this week he joined me for a portion of my Gilad workouts. He did the ones that used weights and skipped the cardio portions. Yesterday he asked me how long cardio was and showed up in my room at the end of my workout for the weight portion of it! It's not much but it is a start for him. Yippie!!!! :happy:

Karen - So sorry to hear that you have to have open heart surgery. I wish you peace of mind from now until then. the best of luck when your surgery day arrives and a speedy recovery. Just think, once the fix the problem you will feel so much better!

Skinnyjeans - My hubby and I are the same way. Neither one of us like to go out on NYE. I just don't trust all the potential drunk drivers on the road and would rather not risk our lives. We stayed in last night as well. We watched **** Clarks NYE party, had champagne at midnight, then called it a night. It was a perfect evening. We have a New Year Day party to go to today at a friend's house which should be fun!
UGH. I cannot believe your MIL did that. My initial reaction is to do exactly what I would do with my crazy MIL - ignore and don't respond. As I read some of your thoughts I began to think about it. You have every right to defend yourself and set her straight. But I don't know if it will do any good. If you reach out to her and let her know your feelings about the implications of the note be prepared for her to become defensive, twist things around on you and make you out to be paranoid or overly sensitive. Before deciding what to do I would think about what would happen if you respond to her. It may or may not open up a new can of worms. What does your husband think you should do regarding the note? Take comfort in knowing you both were the better people reaching out to her and sending her a generous gift.

Newlings - I agree with Robin's advice 100%.

Don't try to do everything at once - diet, exercise, change your whole life. Start with one, and stick with it for a month , then add another activity and do that for another month until you have your habits built up. Logging your food is one of the most important habits to build. You will need to do this after you are done losing weight and are on maintenance - it is the gatekeeper between you and gaining weight back.

I would like to add a few points that I find helpful.
~When logging be sure you log everything no matter how insignificant or how "bad" you think it may be. If you eat that cookie or handful of chips log it. If you use 1 tbsp to cook something in log it.
~Be completely honest with yourself when logging your foods. In the long run it helps when you go back and reflect on your choices.
~Rather than estimating how much of something you are eating measure it out using measuring spoons, measuring cups and a digital scale. This will give you a closer calorie count to what you are eating rather than an estimate.
~Don't deprive yourself of foods you are craving. If you crave something it is ok to eat it. But the key is to eat in moderation.
~Reflect often on your progress. Look for those NSV (non-scale victories)
~Most of all - have fun with it. This is something you are doing for YOU!!! Enjoy it.

Robin - Sounds like you are starting to turn things around and take control of your life. Good for you! That is an excellent attitude to have. I wish you the best of luck!!!

Tom - Great quote!
Brooklyn (Bayridge) is the home of my birthplace! I have so many fond memories of there. I live about an hour away from there now. I would like to start running come Spring. Maybe, if I am up to it, I will meet up and join you guys if that is ok. It would be great getting to meet you all in person! :happy:

Kah - When my brother was in the army he went to Panama Canal. The pictures were gorgeous from there. I hope you enjoy the cruise! Visiting Alaska is on my bucket list.

Kesha12 - Welcome. Feel free to add me if you want to build your support team. That goes for everyone else as well.

Lauren - Congrats on the combined loss. That certainly is something to celebrate! I think that is a good attitude to have regarding the influx of people at the gym. I understand how frustrating that must be having to wait for a machine. I get so upset when I read some of the views MFP users have towards newbies. I always try to remember at one point in time I was new and looking for support. That is why I always try to support anyone looking for it.

Eml298 and Stacey - Welcome!!!

Madeline - Congrats on the loss!