In love with a guy who is engaged!

Seajolly
Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
in Chit-Chat
Looking for a little advice. I met a guy while at work, and we really hit it off. We are very close friends, and seem to have everything in common. We get along better than anyone I've ever met in my life, and quickly became good friends. We talk a lot outside of work, and even text each other on the weekends and nights and holidays. I now consider him one of my best friends. Only problem is, he is engaged. And to my defense, we flirted and I fell for him before he ever told me he was engaged.

I flirt quite a lot with this guy, and he flirts right back to me. He also confides things in me that he says he can't tell his fiance because she won't understand, or she just doesn't "get it" like I do. He invited me to the movies one night when his fiance was staying late at work. He hasn't tried anything, and I haven't either, but there is a ton of flirting going on here and also deep conversations. I honestly feel like if I had met this guy and he was single, we would be together in a heartbeat and I feel like this is the guy I should marry. But he is engaged!

This job is coming to an end, and I feel like it's now or never. I feel like if I don't say something to him, I will live with regret for the rest of my life and always wonder "what if?". I feel that the worst thing that could happen is he never talks to me again and marries his fiance. And then the best thing that could happen is that he doesn't.

Thoughts? Opinions? Advice for me?
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Replies

  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
    Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

    There are other guys in this world, I promise.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    Back off. A decent person would.
  • zacksnana
    zacksnana Posts: 3,230 Member
    If you end up engaged to him he will just find a "new best friend" and will tell her you "just don't get him".

    Move on and be glad he is someone elses problem.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    This isn't your decision to make for him. He asked her to marry him for a reason. If he wanted to be with you, he had a chance before he was engaged. You're young, you're cute, someone else will come along.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    hello beautiful
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    Move on.
  • KenziesFrenzies
    KenziesFrenzies Posts: 1,014 Member
    Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

    There are other guys in this world, I promise.

    What? He's not married, she wouldn't BE a freaking "home wrecker."

    People get out of engagements ALL THE TIME. Get engaged to someone, then they meet someone else, etc. etc.

    The way I see it, there isn't a ring on his finger, anything could happen still.
    Tell him how you feel, be completely honest about it, and if he feels the same way, he'll have some serious thinking to do. If he keeps playing you along, while remaining engaged to be married, he's a d-bag playing around with your feelings and you need to get away.

    And if he marries his fiance... Do not pursue!
  • dlashawn5
    dlashawn5 Posts: 28 Member
    My mama always told me "you get back what you give out" Don't mess with that man, he made his decision. Let it go and move on!
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    hmmm honestly tell him how you feel and then leave it at that



    if its meant to be it will be
  • lsorci919
    lsorci919 Posts: 772 Member
    Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

    There are other guys in this world, I promise.


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  • SmileCozYouCan
    SmileCozYouCan Posts: 315 Member
    I agree about backing off. Its only being respectful.
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
    Go for it.
    You're pretty cute and that's all that really matters in the end anyway, right?

    Right?
  • WhiskyMania
    WhiskyMania Posts: 27 Member
    He's engaged, which part of that don't you understand. Stop being such a naive little girl, he's probably trying to shag numerous other girls too, he's a snake.
  • sklarbodds
    sklarbodds Posts: 608 Member
    Posts like these are usually trolls...but I'll answer anyway.

    GTFO.

    There, that was easy. If he feels the same way about you he would do the right thing and break off the engagement and be with you. (Important note, I said he would break off the engagement BEFORE asking you out).

    If he asks you out or makes a move before he's broken it off, he will do the same to you.

    If he goes through with the marriage, then he doesn't really feel the same way about you.

    Either way, your job here is to back the ____ off and let what will happen to happen.
  • thatonegirlwiththestuff
    thatonegirlwiththestuff Posts: 1,171 Member
    Walk away.
    /thread
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    You really have to ask?
    And to the person who said it's ok if he's not married yet wow! Would hate to be your partner
  • molonlabe762
    molonlabe762 Posts: 411 Member
    Dont be a home wrecker...move on. How would you feel if you were the fiance in this situation?
  • fallenoaks50
    fallenoaks50 Posts: 84
    He sounds like a douche. I would never hook up with someone who treated women like that. Even if he dumps his fiance, he was still a douche to her and would likely do the same to you at some point.
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
    If you end up engaged to him he will just find a "new best friend" and will tell her you "just don't get him".

    Move on and be glad he is someone elses problem.

    This one sounds like good advice.
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
    If he'll flirt around with you while he's engaged to someone else, do you really want to be involved with him? Sounds like someone with commitment issues to me.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    "it's now or never...."



    Ummm... Never.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    I think you should tell him how you feel, and back off. If he feels the same way you do-then so be it but you would have to back off to let that play out. Otherwise, it all seems like wishful thinking on your part. And I do agree with other posters in saying: There is a chance he's just that kind of guy and likes the side connections on top of the main squeeze he's got at home. So I'd beware if I were you.
  • yelliezx
    yelliezx Posts: 633 Member
    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiance behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    Move on. I know it will hurt, but it is the right thing to do.:flowerforyou:
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
    Dance at his bachelor's party.
    You can be his last "fling."
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
    Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

    There are other guys in this world, I promise.

    What? He's not married, she wouldn't BE a freaking "home wrecker."

    People get out of engagements ALL THE TIME. Get engaged to someone, then they meet someone else, etc. etc.

    The way I see it, there isn't a ring on his finger, anything could happen still.
    Tell him how you feel, be completely honest about it, and if he feels the same way, he'll have some serious thinking to do. If he keeps playing you along, while remaining engaged to be married, he's a d-bag playing around with your feelings and you need to get away.

    And if he marries his fiance... Do not pursue!

    If they live together then she would be a home wrecker...

    That is absolutely ridiculous to pursue an engaged person because they click...he asked this girl to MARRY him, he's not just dating some other chick...by the time you get engaged you are pretty freaking serious about this other person.

    OP you need to back off out of respect for his fiancee...if they break up then fair game and more power to you, but do not be the reason they break up.
  • loubidy
    loubidy Posts: 440 Member
    Don't be that girl!!! Please move on..
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    Wait, he can tell you things that he can't tell his fiancee? And you believed it? Trust when I say as a guy, if he hasn't left his fiancee for you by now, then he just isn't that into you. Sorry.

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  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    This is an easy one.

    Find out where they are going to be one night and show up. See how he acts. You will for sure know where you stand then.
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)

    WOW. Calling this rude would be an understatement.
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