In love with a guy who is engaged!

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Replies

  • gmhaggie06
    gmhaggie06 Posts: 207
    Engaged doesn't mean ANYTHING, go for it! If I had to worry about my wife loving someone else I wouldn't have married her. All engaged means is that he's "planning" on marrying someone, he's not locked down yet! Maybe you'll both fall in love any marry each other one day, then it will have been totally worth it!
  • a_stronger_me13
    a_stronger_me13 Posts: 812 Member
    I feel like you throw the word love around pretty loosely.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)

    WOW. Calling this rude would be an understatement.

    Not rude. FACT.
  • jooles48
    jooles48 Posts: 14
    He already knows how you feel based on how you act with him, he is still engaged, he has made his decision time for you to make yours. Walk away.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)

    WOW. Calling this rude would be an understatement.

    Not rude. FACT.

    Not really, she is not doing anything wrong here. He is the one engaged, not her. It is not girls like this that should make anyone sick, it is guys like him that give the rest of the men out there a bad name.
  • KenziesFrenzies
    KenziesFrenzies Posts: 1,014 Member
    Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

    There are other guys in this world, I promise.

    What? He's not married, she wouldn't BE a freaking "home wrecker."

    People get out of engagements ALL THE TIME. Get engaged to someone, then they meet someone else, etc. etc.

    The way I see it, there isn't a ring on his finger, anything could happen still.
    Tell him how you feel, be completely honest about it, and if he feels the same way, he'll have some serious thinking to do. If he keeps playing you along, while remaining engaged to be married, he's a d-bag playing around with your feelings and you need to get away.

    And if he marries his fiance... Do not pursue!

    If they live together then she would be a home wrecker...

    That is absolutely ridiculous to pursue an engaged person because they click...he asked this girl to MARRY him, he's not just dating some other chick...by the time you get engaged you are pretty freaking serious about this other person.

    OP you need to back off out of respect for his fiancee...if they break up then fair game and more power to you, but do not be the reason they break up.

    We don't know if they live together.

    And it's not ridiculous to pursue an engaged person; who's to say that you won't meet the love of your life after you've already agreed to marry someone else?

    If I was the guy in this scenario, and found myself loving the OP more than my fiance, it wouldn't be fair to the fiance to marry her when my heart belonged to someone else. That'd be the true d*ck move, if you ask me.

    If he wants to be with her, he will be, and if he doesn't.. he'll marry his fiance. But either way, I think she should make her feelings known.
  • Soccermavrick
    Soccermavrick Posts: 405 Member
    So you want him to cheat with you, then dump the girl that he is engaged to??? I have a hard time seeing this end well. He might be flirting, wrong yes, but that might just be him. Thinking that it could go somewhere..... He told you that he was engaged, that to me is a clear sign that he was putting up a border. Would he cross it, maybe, but will he end it to leave her for you to live happily ever after, extremely doubtful.

    If he is a friend leave it at that, if not, leave it alone.
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
    ok here's my take....

    the guy obviously isn't scared around women....he's engaged to one and very easily made friends with you...

    he's NOT shy....

    so the fact that he hasn't addressed any "connection/attraction/feelings in that way" at this point means...he's probably not feeling it like you are....

    and he's happy where he is...with a great fiance and a kick *kitten* BFF who happens to be a girl.

    perhaps you should take that hint and walk away before someone *you* gets hurt.

    don't assume he's too shy to express what you are feeling and so obviously he must be too.
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    Thanks for all of the responses. Some are a little harsh, but totally expected.

    For the record: I haven't tried anything with him out of respect for his fiance.

    Also, to the person who said he made his choice by asking her to marry him, not me, well I met him after he was engaged so how does that work? Do people not think that you can be engaged and realize that you made the wrong choice about who to ask to marry, because maybe you hadn't met that right person yet? Yes, no, maybe?
  • jxchambe
    jxchambe Posts: 49 Member
    Bump....I want o see how this plays out.

    But dont do it....dumb.
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
    If it don't work out.....let's talk. I married but, seriously...what harm can come from it?

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  • abickford82
    abickford82 Posts: 207
    He may not belong to someone yet, but let them be happy. Find someone else to crush on, easy peasy.
  • yelliezx
    yelliezx Posts: 633 Member
    He is a complete loser for doing this to his poor fiancee and this... girl is completely wrong for encouraging an engaged man. I'll rephrase that. PEOPLE like that make me sick.
    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)

    WOW. Calling this rude would be an understatement.

    Not rude. FACT.

    Not really, she is not doing anything wrong here. He is the one engaged, not her. It is not girls like this that should make anyone sick, it is guys like him that give the rest of the men out there a bad name.
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
    This guys is obviously not ready to be in a serious monogamous relationship.
  • eugovogue
    eugovogue Posts: 75
    Why would you elect to be with a guy who is clearly emotionally cheating on his fiancé? People show you who they are and if you don't believe them then tread carefully. What he's doing to her he could do to you.

    Also--if you were the finance, how would you feel to know your man had a lady friend he hasn't told you about who he confides in. Don't do this to a fellow woman. What you do is already done to you. Karma.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    Thanks for all of the responses. Some are a little harsh, but totally expected.

    For the record: I haven't tried anything with him out of respect for his fiance.

    Also, to the person who said he made his choice by asking her to marry him, not me, well I met him after he was engaged so how does that work? Do people not think that you can be engaged and realize that you made the wrong choice about who to ask to marry, because maybe you hadn't met that right person yet? Yes, no, maybe?

    That was me and I apologize. From the sound of your OP it seemed as though he was recently engaged. And yes, people can realize they made the wrong choice, but influencing that decision isn't a good idea.
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
    Posts like these are usually trolls...but I'll answer anyway.

    GTFO.

    There, that was easy. If he feels the same way about you he would do the right thing and break off the engagement and be with you. (Important note, I said he would break off the engagement BEFORE asking you out).

    If he asks you out or makes a move before he's broken it off, he will do the same to you.

    If he goes through with the marriage, then he doesn't really feel the same way about you.

    Either way, your job here is to back the ____ off and let what will happen to happen.

    All of this.
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)

    WOW. Calling this rude would be an understatement.

    Not rude. FACT.

    Not really, she is not doing anything wrong here. He is the one engaged, not her. It is not girls like this that should make anyone sick, it is guys like him that give the rest of the men out there a bad name.

    I think they're both in the wrong...he is definitely a douche for flirting with her while he's engaged, but she steps into the wrong by knowing he's engaged and still flirting and texting him back...

    It needs to be like "Hey ____ I like you and feel like we click, but you're engaged and I'm not one to break up a relationship. If you find yourself completely single and available then call me up and we'll see where it goes from there" and then she needs to stop the contact until he calls her telling her he ended his engagement.
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    I feel like you throw the word love around pretty loosely.

    How's that? I didn't lay out the details about how I feel about him. Didn't elaborate. So how can you judge this?
  • MissSaturday
    MissSaturday Posts: 784 Member
    if he still didn't break off his engagement , means that he wants to use you like a disposable glass. leave the f@cker alone..
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

    There are other guys in this world, I promise.

    What? He's not married, she wouldn't BE a freaking "home wrecker."

    People get out of engagements ALL THE TIME. Get engaged to someone, then they meet someone else, etc. etc.

    The way I see it, there isn't a ring on his finger, anything could happen still.
    Tell him how you feel, be completely honest about it, and if he feels the same way, he'll have some serious thinking to do. If he keeps playing you along, while remaining engaged to be married, he's a d-bag playing around with your feelings and you need to get away.

    And if he marries his fiance... Do not pursue!

    Good advice. The other thing I'm thinking about is that if you don't try will you regret it for years to come? What's the harm in letting him know how you feel and listening to what he has to say. Maybe he is" the one". Have they set a date? How serious an engagement is this?
    Some ladies on here are also giving you a few warnings. Be cautious as you don't want to be played either. Some guys are very good at the game, and to them the game is sXX.
  • fallenoaks50
    fallenoaks50 Posts: 84
    Thanks for all of the responses. Some are a little harsh, but totally expected.

    For the record: I haven't tried anything with him out of respect for his fiance.

    Also, to the person who said he made his choice by asking her to marry him, not me, well I met him after he was engaged so how does that work? Do people not think that you can be engaged and realize that you made the wrong choice about who to ask to marry, because maybe you hadn't met that right person yet? Yes, no, maybe?

    Sure, but wouldn't he have dumped her by now if that was the case?
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    He's dishonest.
    Run.
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
    Not to be rude, if he wanted you, he would have told you and would have broken up his engagement. I don't think you are a home-wrecker perse, but you are definitely setting yourself up to be the "other woman" and he could potentially just string you along until either he finds another mistress, or you get tired of being used

    Plus, if he does break up with her and go for you, who is to say he can't fall in love with another woman while you two are together?
  • smelius22
    smelius22 Posts: 334 Member
    Move along, trollop.
  • DeadliftAddict
    DeadliftAddict Posts: 746 Member
    They are not married yet. You could be saving him from a big mistake. Then again you might not be. I say tell him how you feel. Then the ball is in his court. If he feels the same way and breaks it off with her for you great. If he says he doesn't feel the same and stops talking to you that's great too. You will know that he knows how you feel and not have to wonder anymore about this later on in life. Be warned though. If he doesn't feel the same way after telling him. Back the hell off and leave him alone or you will be more hurt in the end.
  • loubidy
    loubidy Posts: 440 Member
    Thanks for all of the responses. Some are a little harsh, but totally expected.

    For the record: I haven't tried anything with him out of respect for his fiance.

    Also, to the person who said he made his choice by asking her to marry him, not me, well I met him after he was engaged so how does that work? Do people not think that you can be engaged and realize that you made the wrong choice about who to ask to marry, because maybe you hadn't met that right person yet? Yes, no, maybe?

    I think they can, yes. HOWEVER he's had long enough now to act if he did. Boy best friends are the best friends so if you really get on well with him just leave it and keep your friend.
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
    If they do it with you, they will do it to you. Think about how you would feel if he was best friends and flirting with someone else, while with you. Chances are that you're not his only "best friend".

    You need to move on from this guy and quickly. Good men are out there.
  • nohaynicknamesdisponibles
    nohaynicknamesdisponibles Posts: 94 Member
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  • rachelamber_x
    rachelamber_x Posts: 104 Member
    Next time he starts flirting with you tell him to stop and say it feels wrong because he is engaged. That would make him think about whether it is harmless flirting or whether he actually has feelings for you.
    Then its up to him what to do about it.
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