In love with a guy who is engaged!

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Replies

  • dietcoke29
    dietcoke29 Posts: 38 Member
    It sounds like he's testing the waters because he's getting cold feet. Don't think your anything special to him. His ego just wants to know he can get it. I can't believe people are saying he's not married yet. There are plenty of people who don't believe in marriage but are committed to each other. A piece of paper shouldn't be the reason why you keep your pants on. Hell we all know if someone wants to cheat they will their title doesn't mean Anything...
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I wouldn't want a relationship with a guy who behaved like that, honestly. The whole "but my fiancee doesn't get me like you do" line sounds super shady, and I'm betting he didn't tell her he went to the movies with you.
  • RoseGoldDinosaur
    RoseGoldDinosaur Posts: 133 Member
    Anyone who is engaged is off limits. Period.

    If he doesn't treat his fiancé with more respect than to flirt with other girls, why would you think he'd treat you better?

    People are giving you blunt advice because this is an extremely simple situation.
    He's just not that into you. If he were, he'd be engaged to you.
    He's obviously just not that into his fiancé either. If he were, he wouldn't be flirting with other women.
  • Pass the popcorn
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    Anyone who is engaged is off limits. Period.

    If he doesn't treat his fiancé with more respect than to flirt with other girls, why would you think he'd treat you better?

    People are giving you blunt advice because this is an extremely simple situation.
    He's just not that into you. If he were, he'd be engaged to you.
    He's obviously just not that into his fiancé either. If he were, he wouldn't be flirting with other women.

    :drinker: YES
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

    Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

    How long have you even known this guy?

    6 months.
  • smelius22
    smelius22 Posts: 334 Member
    Anyone who is engaged is off limits. Period.

    If he doesn't treat his fiancé with more respect than to flirt with other girls, why would you think he'd treat you better?

    ******People are giving you blunt advice because this is an extremely simple situation.******
    He's just not that into you. If he were, he'd be engaged to you.
    He's obviously just not that into his fiancé either. If he were, he wouldn't be flirting with other women.

    THANK YOU
  • ksuetorres
    ksuetorres Posts: 139 Member
    If you want a guy who flirts outrageously while he's engaged to someone else -- go for it. Break them up (you'll certainly be doing HER a favor!), and you can both go off and be the kind of people you really are, no pretenses. Of course, it won't be long before you don't "get" him any more, and some cute little thing will be pouring on the charm and listening sympathetically to his problems with YOU. With any luck, by then you will have discovered another shiny piece of tinsel hanging from a branch and you'll be flirting your head off too, and wondering what's the "right" thing to do....
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    The fact that you're considering wrecking another couple suggests that you need to get a little distance from this man to clear your head. I think you need to just get away from this guy and this situation. I'm not trying to sound judgmental. I just think you're losing yourself. Ask yourself if you really want to wreck someone else's engagement. And ask yourself how you would feel if someone did that to you. Forget all this talk of missed opportunities and unanswered questions. Don't do it because you're going to loathe yourself for it later.
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
    Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

    Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

    How long have you even known this guy?


    6 months.

    6 months and you think he could be the one you marry?

    I'm not trying to be mean, but do you get a lot of attention from guys normally or is this kind of a first?
  • LishLash79
    LishLash79 Posts: 562 Member
    hes not married.. I say go for it.. just my opinion.. you will regret not telling him . .. even if it does not work out and he does not feel the same way.. you will 100% regret not telling him..

    you are not being a home wrecker.. he is not married. ;) and if he does feel this way too, its better he face it now then after hes married.


    GO FOR IT!!!
  • pineapple1989
    pineapple1989 Posts: 195 Member
    If this couple are not right for each other then it will fall apart in its own time regardless of your input, these things generally do. So could you just stay in touch, maybe through social media or something, to see what happens to them? If they break it off then you would be free to tell him how you feel without feeling guilty about breaking up a couple, if they don't then maybe they really were meant for each other, and in the meantime it leaves you free to meet Mr Right, maybe somebody in a less complicated situation!
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    He ain't married yet dear. Do the damn thing!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,344 Member
    hes not married.. I say go for it.. just my opinion.. you will regret not telling him . .. even if it does not work out and he does not feel the same way.. you will 100% regret not telling him..

    you are not being a home wrecker.. he is not married. ;) and if he does feel this way too, its better he face it now then after hes married.


    GO FOR IT!!!

    i agree with this.

    if she's wrecking their relationship just by being honest then the relationship was already wrecked to begin with. just because she says something doesnt mean the guy will comply, or are some of the people in this thread so sexist that they really believe that a guy can't turn down any woman who's interested in him?
  • ashleybreanna13
    ashleybreanna13 Posts: 250 Member
    Hi seajolly!

    I would just like to say, woman to woman, I've been in this sitch recently.
    I worked with a guy that every part of us was clicking. Problem was... I had someone, he had someone.
    He was considering moving in with his GF and did, yet we still texted.
    Then things got boring. I never thought they would, as talking to him was so exciting. I think it was a "fling" in my mind, but if I could go back, I would never have given him the time of day. I realized that it's not okay 1) on my part as I had someone and 2) I didnt know HER. What would she do if she read some of those texts? It would have crushed her. And no faithful, loving woman deserves that.

    Dont ruin their engagement. She is probably planning their wedding and is thrilled to be doing so. And chances are, he is excited too. Some guys get scared like little dogs trapped in a corner, and they act out. You are who he's acting out on. I'm sorry honey.

    You will love yourself so much more for moving on and letting him go. You will find someone someday and the "story of how you met" will be much cuter to tell your kids than "He was engaged to someone else and we talked behind her back..."

    Please move on girl. You'll thank yourself later, I promise :)

    Ps. posting stuff on MFP threads is like swimming in a pool of sharks and dolphins... you're going to get a lot of attacks. Be careful when reading some of the other posts... dont let the negativity bring you down :)
  • creativerick
    creativerick Posts: 270 Member
    Based off info given, it's reasonable to believe the guy views her as a female BFF and opie is the one who caught feelings. If it's been 6 months and he hasn't even tried to kiss you or broken up with his fiancé ...

    HE IS NOT THAT INTO YOU.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,328 Member
    I wouldn't want a relationship with a guy who behaved like that, honestly.

    this, over and over.

    even if his engagement does end, and hes all yours for the taking....dont think that he wont do the same thing to you.
  • lsorci919
    lsorci919 Posts: 772 Member
    Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

    Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

    How long have you even known this guy?

    6 months.

    Then my advice is walk away! He has been engaged to this other woman for probably longer then 6 months and hasn't changed his mind about getting married to her. If he was really doubting marrying her then I do believe he would have made that clear.

    second
    put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself how you would feel about the situation if you were her.
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
    Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

    Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

    I stopped reading here. You posted asking for advice - do not get upset when you get it. Secondly, it sounds like you have made up and your mind and want affirmation. No affirmation from me either. I say get out........wait, I'm sure I'm just jumping to conclusions as well.

    /exits thread
  • I think he's playing you :/ if he had seriously strong feelings for you he would have broken it off with his fiancé, I would tell him how you feel and it would be best not to be alone with each other until he thinks what he wants, I know he's not married but he is still in a serious relationship and to take this any further would be horrible for the other girl, if he genuinely thinks u both have a spark he will call of his engagement and keep his distance until he figures out his head...but I suspect he may try take what he wants and leave u heartbroken,
    Could also be just a fear of settling down if his other half is putting pressure to marry soon :/

    Whatever u decide good luck and always remember that there is someone for everyone x
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