my hubby paying me to lose weight
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Really? First of all, when you're married it should be joint funds. Second, you will need at least that just to buy a new wardrobe.
Who says it has to be joint funds??? YOU? Who are you??
My husband and I have our own accounts and a joint account merely for paying household bills. We enjoy being able to solely control the money that we make on our own.
obviously your marriage is a sham
Obviously we have been oblivious for the last 20 years. Hmmm.0 -
I want a sexy older lady to pay me to gain muscle:)
Perhaps a slightly different twist on 'Adopt-a-Noob?'0 -
Really? First of all, when you're married it should be joint funds. Second, you will need at least that just to buy a new wardrobe.
Who says it has to be joint funds??? YOU? Who are you??
My husband and I have our own accounts and a joint account merely for paying household bills. We enjoy being able to solely control the money that we make on our own.
It is joint funds, assuming you are lawfully married in the U.S. How you choose to store the funds makes no difference other than geography.
Sorry, but that differs depending on what State you reside in.
Just because 2 people are married doesn't mean what is his is also mine. That is so wrong. I can't believe the selfishness I am reading in this thread.
If we were to divorce today, I would not ask him for a dime of what is in his account. That is his business and his alone.
The only thing we have set up is the beneficiary if the other should pass away. Then the other person gets ownership of that account.0 -
I want a sexy older lady to pay me to gain muscle:)
Perhaps a slightly different twist on 'Adopt-a-Noob?'
:laugh:0 -
Am I really the only one who finds this creepy?
Seconded.0 -
I was quite overweight when I was young and my Dad use the money trick as a extrensic motivater for me to lose weight. It would have worked apart from the fact I used the money I made to buy junk food after school :O0
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No, you're not!0
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Nope you're not the only one to find it a little odd.
Is the incentive just so he can help his wife or is it a selfish thing on his part because he doesn't like the fact she's gained some weight.0 -
I've heard about this before, usually a £1 or $1 for every lb. I read a story not to long ago, where the husband had paid her £1 for every lb, bought her new clothes, and then when she'd lost 9st, he bought her a ring with 9 diamonds in it. To me, that was just his way of supporting and encouraging her, and showing how proud he was of her achievement. :flowerforyou:
I don't think it's creepy if a spouse/parent/relative knows the person is struggling to lose weight and is offering an incentive to the "loser". I think the OP will recieve around $750 if she were to lose all her weight, is that not just his way of maybe offering her money to buy new clothes, etc.. with the added incentive?0 -
My MIL told me if I would lose the weight I had needed to lose, at the time my goal was 130 and currently at 120, but anyways, she said if I did it, she would give me $300.00 for new clothes. LOL I lost the weight, not for the money but I lost the weight and still haven't seen a penny. She had the nerve to tell me that she said it because she didn't believe I'd actually lose the weight so she thought she would never have to actually depart with that much money. Needless to say, I have never seen that money she promised me lol, good thing I didn't really expect to have that money and didn't do it for that money, honestly didn't really think about it till this thread title lol. I'm happy and healthy and that's worth more to me then the money.
You should have gotten it in writing
Although I still don't think it wouldn't have been a valid contract. But still you could have waved it in her face. :laugh: 0 -
i find it creepy that people find it creepy! he is trying to help her by offering a visible motivator. if you are into teaching, or psychology, you might know that offering things that we can see and use are better motivators than self determination. (in other words, external motivators are good to enhance internal motivation)
yes, he is saying that she needs to loose weight. if its a fact and she is not trying to loose weight because of anorexia, there is nothing wrong in her husband being honest with her. i was skinny before, then i gained weight, when i hit obesity level, my husband started telling me that i should start loosing some weight to a healthy level. its annoying to hear at first, but it is better if your husband is the one "delivering the bitter pill".
yes, his money is her money too, but still getting it as a prize you won for the hard work and self control is still a great motivator. you go girl!0 -
After all is said and done, I think that if you are asking the question then there is some part of you that is uncomfortable. If you agree with my assessment, talk to your hubby about it. Make sure he offered for all the right reasons, and if his answers are acceptable, then just go with it. You could always buy HIM something with the money afterwards if you wanted.
To the people who find it offensive: your SO probably knows you well enough at this point to NEVER offer such a deal.
To the people who find it creepy: I hope that you are never offered such a proposition, and that your SO knows such a thing creeps you out.
To the stay at home people: you contribute financially. By saying you don't makes it sound like you don't have any worth and you ARE worth a lot. (And not just money-wise)
To the people who are confused by this thread. It has been derailed many times so don't feel bad0 -
After all is said and done, I think that if you are asking the question then there is some part of you that is uncomfortable. If you agree with my assessment, talk to your hubby about it. Make sure he offered for all the right reasons, and if his answers are acceptable, then just go with it. You could always buy HIM something with the money afterwards if you wanted.
To the people who find it offensive: your SO probably knows you well enough at this point to NEVER offer such a deal.
To the people who find it creepy: I hope that you are never offered such a proposition, and that your SO knows such a thing creeps you out.
To the stay at home people: you contribute financially. By saying you don't makes it sound like you don't have any worth and you ARE worth a lot. (And not just money-wise)
To the people who are confused by this thread. It has been derailed many times so don't feel bad
The op never asked a question about it. Read the op again... She was just sharing what her and her husband were doing. She seemed excited about it and was still excited and optimistic in her later post on page 7.0 -
Thanks again for all the POSITIVE feedback!! You make me
I have the best husband in the world!!!!! 
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The op never asked a question about it. Read the op again... She was just sharing what her and her husband were doing. She seemed excited about it and was still excited and optimistic in her later post on page 7.
Damn, I was gonna throw out a bet of SEVEN.... now, you've gone and brought her back on page 19 :bigsmile:0 -
My husband and I have our own accounts and a joint account merely for paying household bills. We enjoy being able to solely control the money that we make on our own.
Well duh. Can't pay for sex out of a joint account.
Splitting the bill while dating prevents future prostitution, kids.0 -
The op never asked a question about it. Read the op again... She was just sharing what her and her husband were doing. She seemed excited about it and was still excited and optimistic in her later post on page 7.
Damn, I was gonna throw out a bet of SEVEN.... now, you've gone and brought her back on page 19 :bigsmile:
And This is what I meant by things getting derailed a lot =P But I think the advice stands for others who have expressed squimishness. Talking to your SO is a good thing :happy:
So shoulda gone back to the first post before saying that.0 -
Really? First of all, when you're married it should be joint funds. Second, you will need at least that just to buy a new wardrobe.
Who says it has to be joint funds??? YOU? Who are you??
My husband and I have our own accounts and a joint account merely for paying household bills. We enjoy being able to solely control the money that we make on our own.
It is joint funds, assuming you are lawfully married in the U.S. How you choose to store the funds makes no difference other than geography.
Sorry, but that differs depending on what State you reside in.
Just because 2 people are married doesn't mean what is his is also mine. That is so wrong. I can't believe the selfishness I am reading in this thread.
If we were to divorce today, I would not ask him for a dime of what is in his account. That is his business and his alone.
The only thing we have set up is the beneficiary if the other should pass away. Then the other person gets ownership of that account.
It actually doesn't differ depending on what state you are in. The differences lie in how automatic certain divisions are, but not in the basic concept that lawful marriage makes you one person for financial purposes.
What you might want in the event of divorce doesn't change the nature of the legal relationship anymore than what practices you have during the marriage changes those things. Nor, does it mean that he wouldn't decide, in the event of divorce, to pursue his share of your account (or that his new love interest might convince him to pursue).0 -
Come, join us in 2014 where women often pay for dates and adding a teabag to hot water doesn't change the water's chemistry.
umm...NOwho in the hell is anyone to judge how to motivate someone. everyone is different in what they respond to. if she feels she will be motivated more to keep on track by a promise her husband made then so be it. and while most marriages the money is equal im getting the feeling the money he pays her is hers to do with as she wishes, not something that they have to sit down and figure out finances to see if it is feasible.
and for the record, all men pay for sex. just not all transactions are of the monetary persuasion
Ummm, yes men do pay for sex. You go out on dates and the man pays, he is paying for what he is going to get at some point later.
Marriage is the oldest form of prostitution.
I pay for dates in my household and don't hold the belief that his money is our money and my money is our money. His money is HIS. My money is MINE.
We both contribute to our household.
It still doesn't take away from the fact that Marriage is the oldest and only legal form of prostitution.
You are ... not very smart.
My husband and I are both very smart. Just because we don't have a joint account doesn't mean we don't share with one another. Our bond to one another has nothing to do with money as some of these comments I have read make it sound.
I don't need his money and he doesn't need mine. That is not the reason we are together as a couple. Our needs for each other are much more deep than depending on each other for financial status.
I find that just dumb and completely selfish for women to say whats his is mine. I would never do that.
To feel how I feel and for us to have our relationship set up in a way that works for us does not make me dumb or not smart.
It makes me (us) very smart to know that we won't have the fights and arguments that many couples have over money that leads to divorce.
We are at 20 years together and going strong.0 -
Am I really the only one who finds this creepy?
No, you're not.0 -
Thanks again for all the POSITIVE feedback!! You make me I have the best husband in the world!!!!!
:drinker:0 -
I would really find it offensive if that happened to me. I would feel like he's at such point that he'd rather pay me to get thinner and prettier. Your loved one should love you no matter what, and honestly, I'm doing this for myself not for anyone else. My family helped me with money, they bought me running shoes, gym outfits, a HRM, healthy foods, and new clothes if the old ones didn't fit, but this doesn't mean they've got to pay me only IF I lose weight. That's absurd... no one should get paid for such things.0
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Am I really the only one who finds this creepy?
No, I also find it a strange imbalance of power in a marriage for a man to pay his wife to do something, no matter what it is. It's like the man is the adult and the woman is a child who needs a man's guidance and approval.0 -
Thanks again for all the POSITIVE feedback!! You make me I have the best husband in the world!!!!!
I am sure you do.
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One thing I don't understand is why people think it is rude that the husband would want her to lose weight. Why would we all be on here if we didn't recognise that ourselves? So why do people get defensive when other people say/think the same thing?!0
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That isn't what people are taking issue with.One thing I don't understand is why people think it is rude that the husband would want her to lose weight.0 -
:glasses: This is AWESOME. I'm forwarding this to my huband! And hell no it is not creepy, you're MARRIED, you can operate those setups how ever you want, if someone doesnt like it or approve, A.) screw em' & B.) its only simple jealousy someone isnt paying them for loosing weight!! Good Luck! 0
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My comment had nothing to do with how you devide your money in your marriage.
Come, join us in 2014 where women often pay for dates and adding a teabag to hot water doesn't change the water's chemistry.
umm...NOwho in the hell is anyone to judge how to motivate someone. everyone is different in what they respond to. if she feels she will be motivated more to keep on track by a promise her husband made then so be it. and while most marriages the money is equal im getting the feeling the money he pays her is hers to do with as she wishes, not something that they have to sit down and figure out finances to see if it is feasible.
and for the record, all men pay for sex. just not all transactions are of the monetary persuasion
Ummm, yes men do pay for sex. You go out on dates and the man pays, he is paying for what he is going to get at some point later.
Marriage is the oldest form of prostitution.
I pay for dates in my household and don't hold the belief that his money is our money and my money is our money. His money is HIS. My money is MINE.
We both contribute to our household.
It still doesn't take away from the fact that Marriage is the oldest and only legal form of prostitution.
You are ... not very smart.
My husband and I are both very smart. Just because we don't have a joint account doesn't mean we don't share with one another. Our bond to one another has nothing to do with money as some of these comments I have read make it sound.
I don't need his money and he doesn't need mine. That is not the reason we are together as a couple. Our needs for each other are much more deep than depending on each other for financial status.
I find that just dumb and completely selfish for women to say whats his is mine. I would never do that.
To feel how I feel and for us to have our relationship set up in a way that works for us does not make me dumb or not smart.
It makes me (us) very smart to know that we won't have the fights and arguments that many couples have over money that leads to divorce.
We are at 20 years together and going strong.
Thus, your reply proves my point.0 -
I don't understand how people think this is creepy. I mean, if they weren't together and MARRIED it would be a little different.
He's supportive and motivating. And just because gender roles come into play, it's found to be 'creepy'.
What if it was the other way around? She was paying him? No one would bat a lash at that.0
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