Boyfriend & Boobies
Replies
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You do know that love is a choice, not an emotion? It is a choice that committed couples make every day. Day after day. It really is a wonderful thing to not be at the mercy of people's whims.
cant it be both, or is that beneath yall?
Love being a choice means it is both, by definition. :ohwell:
but you just said it was one or the other.
Maybe committed couples who fall in love and fully feel that emotion, make a decision together to nurture that emotion and evolve together so they will have a successful relationship.
I feel like love is an emotion and relationships are a decision.
So for the OP, her man loves her and they have decided to continue their relationship - just as they will decide what they think of the boobs/no boobs when they cross that bridge.
In the meantime, she should not allow this fear to keep her from trying her best, because the fear is not based on imminent pain or suffering, so i wish the best for them both.-0 -
You are introducing a sentiment that no one here has expressed, so I'm not sure why you think it's relevent.
and yet if a woman takes issues with a man's small penis it's okay for her to walk away from that instead of just love him anyway?Yes they are her's
and Yes she has to do what's right.
But that doesn't mean he is or has to be okay with it. He is entitled to his opinion and tastes.
I can tell you right now if my boyfriend got fat like- seriously fat- it would be over. I'm just completely not attracted to that type of life style behavior and body type.
If her boyfriend is disrespectful to her or leaves her because she loses her boobs as she loses weight, she probably is better off without him, anyway.
This 100%
Way too much jump on the "love covers everything" band wagon. The reality is it doesn't.
If you don't find a certain thing attractive- it doesn't make you shallow- it makes you know what you like. No this is not a hard line- there is without a doubt a wide gray swath of what is acceptable on each side and what someone is willing to accept- but everyone has a point where they would no longer be attractive things wouldn't be so hot to trot.
That's a reality. I'm at least adult enough to admit that I could never be attracted to certain things. That isn't shallow- it's reality.
Where did I say it was OK for a woman to ridicule or leave a man she claims she loves over something like that? Where did I say I would do so or have done so?
If you can find that quote from me, I might take this last post seriously.
good point. considering they never said that you said any of that. Love seeing people ready to fight about anything. Ohh yippee skippy! so exciting!!! I get to be offended! -does dance-
On the topic at hand, I am also adult enough to admit there are some physical attributes that are deal breakers for me. Inactive lifestyle? Out of shape? Refuse to exercise? Average or smaller in certain departments?
Cant do it. Im out. Cause without attraction, we are just friends. And Im not dating someone I feel just 'friendly' toward.
If I really loved my boobs, and I lost them in a weight loss incident, and my husband dearly missed them and wanted them back, i would find a way to get them back. Cause it would be important to both of us for me to feel desired and sexy and beautiful.
Love most certainly is NOT enough. It has to be balanced with sexual attraction, chemistry, similar life paths, common sense, mutual respect, complimentary perspectives, respect for responsibilities and where you are both steering your lives.
If your husband was in love with your long beautiful hair and you knew that was his favorite part - would you say screw him and chop it all off in a pixie cut? no let's hope you dont surprise him after work like that.
Same thing, if you know your husband is madly in love with your cleavage, then you can explain to him that your health has to come first and if your boobies suffer and it still bothers him, then you will work together to see what you can do.
Okay, I'm going to chime in on a serious note here, because this has become a pretty serious discussion and for a noob you are one harsh chick.
My husband absolutely LOVES my long hair. Hates short hair on women. Hates it. I keep it long for him.
Now, I was diagnosed with brain cancer this year. I was able to keep my hair when I had my craniotomy and tumor resection.
HOWEVER. When my tumor grows back (and it will, eventually), I will have to have radiation. My hair will fall out. I won't have the long hair my husband loves. We can't compromise on that and find some way for me to keep it for him, I'll lose it.
Guess what? He's going to stay with me anyway. Even when I don't have hair, the long hair he really likes.
Know why? Because he loves ME. Not my hair, ME. And that my dear, is what true, long-term love is all about.
Im not a noob, but thanks for thinking that people who are new cant participate as well as others. I remade my account cause I used to be here and didnt use this place and now im doing a race with a bunch of my bf's friends on here this summer, so im back.
I said that you wouldnt chop off your hair just because you felt like it, and didnt tell your hubs even though you know he really loves it. This is not the same as going through medical procedures over time to save your life.
I dont think that should have to be specified because common sense says that if you were losing your hair because of cancer therapy, your husband would, im hoping, know about it - and I specifically said 'surprise him'.
My mother is fighting the same battles, I wish you lots of love and care and support from your friends and family.
My hair reference was to your point about health coming first and boobs going away not being important. You said that if it was important to him, the woman should find a way to fix it. A breast enhancement runs in the $7000-$10,000 range and is not covered by insurance. Most people can't afford to hand out that kind of cash for a breast job. So if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
If he loves her, it won't matter.0 -
Lots of crazy up in here quick!
0 -
You are introducing a sentiment that no one here has expressed, so I'm not sure why you think it's relevent.
and yet if a woman takes issues with a man's small penis it's okay for her to walk away from that instead of just love him anyway?Yes they are her's
and Yes she has to do what's right.
But that doesn't mean he is or has to be okay with it. He is entitled to his opinion and tastes.
I can tell you right now if my boyfriend got fat like- seriously fat- it would be over. I'm just completely not attracted to that type of life style behavior and body type.
If her boyfriend is disrespectful to her or leaves her because she loses her boobs as she loses weight, she probably is better off without him, anyway.
This 100%
Way too much jump on the "love covers everything" band wagon. The reality is it doesn't.
If you don't find a certain thing attractive- it doesn't make you shallow- it makes you know what you like. No this is not a hard line- there is without a doubt a wide gray swath of what is acceptable on each side and what someone is willing to accept- but everyone has a point where they would no longer be attractive things wouldn't be so hot to trot.
That's a reality. I'm at least adult enough to admit that I could never be attracted to certain things. That isn't shallow- it's reality.
Where did I say it was OK for a woman to ridicule or leave a man she claims she loves over something like that? Where did I say I would do so or have done so?
If you can find that quote from me, I might take this last post seriously.
good point. considering they never said that you said any of that. Love seeing people ready to fight about anything. Ohh yippee skippy! so exciting!!! I get to be offended! -does dance-
On the topic at hand, I am also adult enough to admit there are some physical attributes that are deal breakers for me. Inactive lifestyle? Out of shape? Refuse to exercise? Average or smaller in certain departments?
Cant do it. Im out. Cause without attraction, we are just friends. And Im not dating someone I feel just 'friendly' toward.
If I really loved my boobs, and I lost them in a weight loss incident, and my husband dearly missed them and wanted them back, i would find a way to get them back. Cause it would be important to both of us for me to feel desired and sexy and beautiful.
Love most certainly is NOT enough. It has to be balanced with sexual attraction, chemistry, similar life paths, common sense, mutual respect, complimentary perspectives, respect for responsibilities and where you are both steering your lives.
If your husband was in love with your long beautiful hair and you knew that was his favorite part - would you say screw him and chop it all off in a pixie cut? no let's hope you dont surprise him after work like that.
Same thing, if you know your husband is madly in love with your cleavage, then you can explain to him that your health has to come first and if your boobies suffer and it still bothers him, then you will work together to see what you can do.
Okay, I'm going to chime in on a serious note here, because this has become a pretty serious discussion and for a noob you are one harsh chick.
My husband absolutely LOVES my long hair. Hates short hair on women. Hates it. I keep it long for him.
Now, I was diagnosed with brain cancer this year. I was able to keep my hair when I had my craniotomy and tumor resection.
HOWEVER. When my tumor grows back (and it will, eventually), I will have to have radiation. My hair will fall out. I won't have the long hair my husband loves. We can't compromise on that and find some way for me to keep it for him, I'll lose it.
Guess what? He's going to stay with me anyway. Even when I don't have hair, the long hair he really likes.
Know why? Because he loves ME. Not my hair, ME. And that my dear, is what true, long-term love is all about.
Im not a noob, but thanks for thinking that people who are new cant participate as well as others. I remade my account cause I used to be here and didnt use this place and now im doing a race with a bunch of my bf's friends on here this summer, so im back.
I said that you wouldnt chop off your hair just because you felt like it, and didnt tell your hubs even though you know he really loves it. This is not the same as going through medical procedures over time to save your life.
I dont think that should have to be specified because common sense says that if you were losing your hair because of cancer therapy, your husband would, im hoping, know about it - and I specifically said 'surprise him'.
My mother is fighting the same battles, I wish you lots of love and care and support from your friends and family.
First of all, I don't think the person who made the comment about new people meant to insinuate that new people can't participate "as well" as others. (Although a lot of new people act like it's the first time they've ever been on a forum). Either way, most people in a lot of places tend to assume that those who are new may not be aware of how discussions here go...or that the blunt/straight forward tone of some may be misinterpreted...as in the situation of you assuming that she was making assumptions at your abilities to participate in a forum. We try to ease people into things around here...as I would have thought someone who used to be here would have realized.
Second - You said that her hair loss due to her medical condition wouldn't be a "surprise" to him. As far as I know, most people who lose weight are aware that certain body parts will shrink...not to mention the fact that unless they are getting lipo done, it isn't going to be a "surprise" either when things start getting smaller. In fact, someone's hair loss due to chemo would be much more faster/extreme than someone losing weight (granted, I'm assuming they aren't going through any surgeries or drastic measures).0 -
You are introducing a sentiment that no one here has expressed, so I'm not sure why you think it's relevent.
and yet if a woman takes issues with a man's small penis it's okay for her to walk away from that instead of just love him anyway?Yes they are her's
and Yes she has to do what's right.
But that doesn't mean he is or has to be okay with it. He is entitled to his opinion and tastes.
I can tell you right now if my boyfriend got fat like- seriously fat- it would be over. I'm just completely not attracted to that type of life style behavior and body type.
If her boyfriend is disrespectful to her or leaves her because she loses her boobs as she loses weight, she probably is better off without him, anyway.
This 100%
Way too much jump on the "love covers everything" band wagon. The reality is it doesn't.
If you don't find a certain thing attractive- it doesn't make you shallow- it makes you know what you like. No this is not a hard line- there is without a doubt a wide gray swath of what is acceptable on each side and what someone is willing to accept- but everyone has a point where they would no longer be attractive things wouldn't be so hot to trot.
That's a reality. I'm at least adult enough to admit that I could never be attracted to certain things. That isn't shallow- it's reality.
Where did I say it was OK for a woman to ridicule or leave a man she claims she loves over something like that? Where did I say I would do so or have done so?
If you can find that quote from me, I might take this last post seriously.
good point. considering they never said that you said any of that. Love seeing people ready to fight about anything. Ohh yippee skippy! so exciting!!! I get to be offended! -does dance-
On the topic at hand, I am also adult enough to admit there are some physical attributes that are deal breakers for me. Inactive lifestyle? Out of shape? Refuse to exercise? Average or smaller in certain departments?
Cant do it. Im out. Cause without attraction, we are just friends. And Im not dating someone I feel just 'friendly' toward.
If I really loved my boobs, and I lost them in a weight loss incident, and my husband dearly missed them and wanted them back, i would find a way to get them back. Cause it would be important to both of us for me to feel desired and sexy and beautiful.
Love most certainly is NOT enough. It has to be balanced with sexual attraction, chemistry, similar life paths, common sense, mutual respect, complimentary perspectives, respect for responsibilities and where you are both steering your lives.
If your husband was in love with your long beautiful hair and you knew that was his favorite part - would you say screw him and chop it all off in a pixie cut? no let's hope you dont surprise him after work like that.
Same thing, if you know your husband is madly in love with your cleavage, then you can explain to him that your health has to come first and if your boobies suffer and it still bothers him, then you will work together to see what you can do.
Okay, I'm going to chime in on a serious note here, because this has become a pretty serious discussion and for a noob you are one harsh chick.
My husband absolutely LOVES my long hair. Hates short hair on women. Hates it. I keep it long for him.
Now, I was diagnosed with brain cancer this year. I was able to keep my hair when I had my craniotomy and tumor resection.
HOWEVER. When my tumor grows back (and it will, eventually), I will have to have radiation. My hair will fall out. I won't have the long hair my husband loves. We can't compromise on that and find some way for me to keep it for him, I'll lose it.
Guess what? He's going to stay with me anyway. Even when I don't have hair, the long hair he really likes.
Know why? Because he loves ME. Not my hair, ME. And that my dear, is what true, long-term love is all about.
Im not a noob, but thanks for thinking that people who are new cant participate as well as others. I remade my account cause I used to be here and didnt use this place and now im doing a race with a bunch of my bf's friends on here this summer, so im back.
I said that you wouldnt chop off your hair just because you felt like it, and didnt tell your hubs even though you know he really loves it. This is not the same as going through medical procedures over time to save your life.
I dont think that should have to be specified because common sense says that if you were losing your hair because of cancer therapy, your husband would, im hoping, know about it - and I specifically said 'surprise him'.
My mother is fighting the same battles, I wish you lots of love and care and support from your friends and family.
My hair reference was to your point about health coming first and boobs going away not being important. You said that if it was important to him, the woman should find a way to fix it. A breast enhancement runs in the $7000-$10,000 range and is not covered by insurance. Most people can't afford to hand out that kind of cash for a breast job. So if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
If he loves her, it won't matter.
If he loves her, no it wont matter. Sometimes breast enhancement IS covered. I also said that if it was important, they would figure something out together.
but if it really hurts HER and her self esteem, then plastic surgery COULD BE an option that might help.
As far as I know, anyone who leaves their wife because cancer took her breasts - is going to be spending eternity in a very special level of hell.0 -
If your husband was in love with your long beautiful hair and you knew that was his favorite part - would you say screw him and chop it all off in a pixie cut? no let's hope you dont surprise him after work like that.
^ this was not referring to cancer.
obviously
This is referring to someone who purposefully ignores what their SO loves and brashly destroys it without a care for his opinion.
The OP doesnt want to do that and was asking for advice.
My advice is to go for gold and discuss the boobs/no boobs with her husband.
How that is offensive or implies that she doesnt love herself or her man or that one of them is shallow, I will never understand.0 -
If he loves her, no it wont matter. Sometimes breast enhancement IS covered. I also said that if it was important, they would figure something out together.
but if it really hurts HER and her self esteem, then plastic surgery COULD BE an option that might help.
As far as I know, anyone who leaves their wife because cancer took her breats - is going to be spending eternity in a very special level of hell.
push up bra's or surgery- one's just a more fixed solution. no shame either way.
Also- medical conditions and leaving or staying through those is a totally different ball of wax. And I am inclined to agree- leaving on terms of severe medical illness isn't a reason to walk away- but I know it happens.0 -
So if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
the same as it has been from the start. they'll figure it out TOGETHER.0 -
wow.0
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THISSo if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
the same as it has been from the start. they'll figure it out TOGETHER.
wtf kind of question is that?
what if something on him eventually sags?
GUESS WHAT? WE ALL SAG EVENTUALLY.
JFC0 -
THISSo if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
the same as it has been from the start. they'll figure it out TOGETHER.
wtf kind of question is that?
what if something on him eventually sags?
GUESS WHAT? WE ALL SAG EVENTUALLY.
JFC
0 -
what if something on him eventually sags?
Apparently, you just leave him because he isn't up to your standards anymore.0 -
what if something on him eventually sags?
Apparently, you just leave him because he isn't up to your standards anymore.
:huh:
ETA: It's amazing how different the above question seems when it is fully quoted instead of nitpicked and the answer replaced with one that totally changes the whole point of the original quote.0 -
You know what's funny- is the hair comment came up- and I was thinking about it- I had a half shaved head when I met mine.
And it's continually been "short" our entire 3.5 year relationship- of varying lengths.
He's a long hair dude - long and red- is his "type" but I'm neither of those things- and pretty much as long as my butt's good- the hair is a side thing.
I cut it and dye it at will- it's an accessory- like my shoes- and I honestly don't care what he thinks- because there are ways to manipulate it- and he doesn't mind as much as he used to think. I cut/shave without asking and when he shows up a week later- there it is. I think he likes the fact I don't keep it the same and since I have a good stylist- it works and it makes me smile- and if I'm smiling- he's smiling.
Which just goes to show- finding someone who works with the person you and has the same kind 'gray area' is more important than the details it seems.0 -
what if something on him eventually sags?
Apparently, you just leave him because he isn't up to your standards anymore.
:huh:
that's why i was beating my head against a wall. cause everything has to be so black and white. It cant be simply that every couple is different and should communicate. Its that it's all or nothing, love or not, attracted or not, no grey area allowed. that's neither fair nor reasonable in an emotion-based discussion.
the answer to this original question is clear.
You might lose some boob. So talk to your man. Tell him that youre concerned that if you do this - you will feel really great about your body but you might lose some boob. Ask him to have your back anyway and you promise to keep communication open as you shrink in size and increase your health and happiness. And let him know that you are working on increasing your strength too, just in case that helps.
For all she knows, he may not notice any change by the time she gets to a place where she wants to stop.0 -
I wasn't nitpicking. I was making a sarcastic comment about things said earlier in the thread.what if something on him eventually sags?
Apparently, you just leave him because he isn't up to your standards anymore.
:huh:
ETA: It's amazing how different the above question seems when it is fully quoted instead of nitpicked and the answer replaced with one that totally changes the whole point of the original quote.0 -
So if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
the same as it has been from the start. they'll figure it out TOGETHER.
the answer should be: if he loves her, it won't matter. Just as, if she loves him, and he loses some physical attribute she likes, it won't matter.
We all lose our looks in the end.0 -
I wasn't nitpicking. I was making a sarcastic comment about things said earlier in the thread.what if something on him eventually sags?
Apparently, you just leave him because he isn't up to your standards anymore.
:huh:
ETA: It's amazing how different the above question seems when it is fully quoted instead of nitpicked and the answer replaced with one that totally changes the whole point of the original quote.
BECAUSE HELPFUL.0 -
So if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
the same as it has been from the start. they'll figure it out TOGETHER.
the answer should be: if he loves her, it won't matter. Just as, if she loves him, and he loses some physical attribute she likes, it won't matter.
We all lose our looks in the end.
"If you loved me, you'd ____________"
is the most manipulative selfish sentence ever invented by a woman, and I apologize on behalf of my gender.0 -
So if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
the same as it has been from the start. they'll figure it out TOGETHER.
the answer should be: if he loves her, it won't matter. Just as, if she loves him, and he loses some physical attribute she likes, it won't matter.
We all lose our looks in the end.
"If you loved me, you'd ____________"
is the most manipulative selfish sentence ever invented by a woman, and I apologize on behalf of my gender.
that really makes no logical sense in context with what I said. it wasn't manipulative. People don't get married when they're young and then just cut the cord when they get old and gray. That's not what love is about.0 -
So if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
the same as it has been from the start. they'll figure it out TOGETHER.
the answer should be: if he loves her, it won't matter. Just as, if she loves him, and he loses some physical attribute she likes, it won't matter.
We all lose our looks in the end.
"If you loved me, you'd ____________"
is the most manipulative selfish sentence ever invented by a woman, and I apologize on behalf of my gender.
Oh, no need.
In this thread I learned penis size matter more than love or looks. And here I've always been told it was wallet size.
Well, I guess I better go plan that surgery.0 -
what if something on him eventually sags?
Apparently, you just leave him because he isn't up to your standards anymore.
:huh:
ETA: It's amazing how different the above question seems when it is fully quoted instead of nitpicked and the answer replaced with one that totally changes the whole point of the original quote.
Well, actually it makes perfect sense in light of some comments made earlier in this thread.0 -
In this thread I learned penis size matter more than love or looks. And here I've always been told it was wallet size.
Well, I guess I better go plan that surgery.
Careful. Too big is scary! (At least it was when I was 16 ...)0 -
They're your boobs not his. Take care of your body.....He'll be ok if you end up with smaller boobs.
ehhhhhhhh That's not 100% true.
Yes they are her's
and Yes she has to do what's right.
But that doesn't mean he is or has to be okay with it. He is entitled to his opinion and tastes.
I can tell you right now if my boyfriend got fat like- seriously fat- it would be over. I'm just completely not attracted to that type of life style behavior and body type.
I can barely stand how he is now because he is the epitome of skinny fat-he is massively squishy- but he has some really amazing qualities that makes me want to be with him- but I honestly hate what his body looks like. It's awful. And guess what- that's my choice and my decision to stay or go based on that.
Well at least you aren't shallow. That's true love right there.
:laugh: :drinker: Sounds like a winner!!0 -
You do know that love is a choice, not an emotion? It is a choice that committed couples make every day. Day after day. It really is a wonderful thing to not be at the mercy of people's whims.
cant it be both, or is that beneath yall?
Love being a choice means it is both, by definition. :ohwell:
but you just said it was one or the other.
Maybe committed couples who fall in love and fully feel that emotion, make a decision together to nurture that emotion and evolve together so they will have a successful relationship.
I feel like love is an emotion and relationships are a decision.
So for the OP, her man loves her and they have decided to continue their relationship - just as they will decide what they think of the boobs/no boobs when they cross that bridge.
In the meantime, she should not allow this fear to keep her from trying her best, because the fear is not based on imminent pain or suffering, so i wish the best for them both.-
I think you misinterpreted what I said. But I'm not invested enough in this conversation to elaborate. :drinker:0 -
So if he really liked her boobs, she lost weight, and they are saggy now, and they can't afford the fix, what's your answer?
That's my question.
the same as it has been from the start. they'll figure it out TOGETHER.
the answer should be: if he loves her, it won't matter. Just as, if she loves him, and he loses some physical attribute she likes, it won't matter.
We all lose our looks in the end.
"If you loved me, you'd ____________"
is the most manipulative selfish sentence ever invented by a woman, and I apologize on behalf of my gender.
Oh, no need.
In this thread I learned penis size matter more than love or looks. And here I've always been told it was wallet size.
Well, I guess I better go plan that surgery.
That and not being squishy fat. You're not squishy fat, are you??0 -
It's simple...men like sex. If he dislikes your smaller, firmer, perkier boobies, then utilize your new found strength & STAMINA to convince him otherwise. Problem solved.0
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i lost 63 pounds a while back, and am trying to lose another 20, and my boobs are only half the size now, but it was worth it
0 -
Lots of crazy up in here quick!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :flowerforyou:0 -
Oh, no need.
In this thread I learned penis size matter more than love or looks. And here I've always been told it was wallet size.
Well, I guess I better go plan that surgery.
Clearly, it's both. :laugh:0
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