As a guy I wanted to know what it was like as a woman...

You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating

But i get the point

if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.

Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well

But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites

I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me

if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.

So, you are saying that there are just as many crappy people in real life as there is online? Call me skeptical. The comfort of the internet is a prime spot for wierdos. Real life holds you accountable a bit more. Yes, there are good people in both. Harder to spot them on the internet.

I'm saying people are more bold to act that way online. Take that same guy(s) sending those pervy messages and put him in a grocery store, for example... do you really think he's going to walk up to her and say "hey baby, let's go get nasty?" No, because, most likely, he'll get smacked or pepper sprayed, etc. But, its the same people, be it online or in real life. I mean, unless they are a computer generated program, they are still real people behind the screens.

I'm just going to leave this right here. This will answer every question a man will have when it comes to online dating.

http://incelrage.com/

That butthurt guy with no avi really needs to check this out.

Bad link.

You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating

But i get the point

if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.

Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well

But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites

I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me

if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.

So, you are saying that there are just as many crappy people in real life as there is online? Call me skeptical. The comfort of the internet is a prime spot for wierdos. Real life holds you accountable a bit more. Yes, there are good people in both. Harder to spot them on the internet.

I'm saying people are more bold to act that way online. Take that same guy(s) sending those pervy messages and put him in a grocery store, for example... do you really think he's going to walk up to her and say "hey baby, let's go get nasty?" No, because, most likely, he'll get smacked or pepper sprayed, etc. But, its the same people, be it online or in real life. I mean, unless they are a computer generated program, they are still real people behind the screens.

I agree. Obviously it is the same people online or in real life. I'm just saying it would be harder to find "one of the good ones" online because even if it was someone you were interested, they are more apt to say different things or act differently due to the comfort of anonymity. That's it. Not trying to judge.

I didn't think you were judging, just giving your thoughts on the matter. That said, I think anyone in real life or online can say anything to get what they want.

I think it goes both ways.

I've done online dating (met my husband on E-Harmony) and had weird experiences and outright aggressive sexual messages, but I have also known guys who had the same thing.

i know of one guy who went on one (1) date with a woman and she became obsessed with him. Sending him text messages daily with stuff like "it's cold today sweetie wear a sweater" She barely knew him and he certainly hadn't decided to make her his exclusive girlfriend.

Crazy exists online and in real life. Always has. It doesn't matter where you go to meet people you will encounter the same things

I'm just going to leave this right here. This will answer every question a man will have when it comes to online dating.

http://incelrage.com/

That butthurt guy with no avi really needs to check this out.

Bad link.

Chrome sent me to its cached copy. Not really worth your time. Salient points:
- women are more likely to respond to, and tolerate piggishness from, handsome men
- veiled racism and barely veiled sexism

Gender role reversal exercise:

Imagine as a guy that you have an overflowing inbox from the most unattractive women you can imagine. Then imagine that the majority of them have dead-end jobs, emotion problems, physical limitations, lack motivation, live at home with their parents, and are generally not on your level physically, intellectually or emotionally. So you get messages every single day from women you would NEVER consider hitting on. Some of the women are harassing you and saying ugly things to you because you don't respond. And don't try politely telling them you aren't interested because they will demand a reason why not. If you actually give them a reason why you aren't interested, even if it's polite, you will receive sudden insults and threats. So you block them. You block all of them.

If by some miracle there is a remotely attractive girl who messages you something nice rather than some back-handed insult ("You're too pretty to play world of warcraft!" <-- INSULTING!), you have to decide if you trust them enough to risk your safety meeting them in person. Giving out your phone number can, and has, resulted in stalkers. You are physically more venerable so you have to make sure if you are meeting that it's a safe place and if you feel unsafe during the night that you can make a quick escape. And don't count on this date being free as A LOT of people are saying we're all equal now, even though there's a much bigger safety risk for you to meet a stranger than for them. If you do let them pay, be prepared for them to try to have sex with you. At the very least this person who has just paid for your meal will expect a kiss whether you like them or not or ever want to see them again or not. You will be called cold and heartless and a mooch if you don't offer them anything. Pressure's on.

So are you having a good time yet? Do you like all the attention you're getting- even though a large portion of it is negative? Is finding love worth risking your safety to meet strangers from the internet? Are you willing to pay to go on a date with someone you don't know if you'll like? Are you willing to trade a free night out for some form of physical affection even though you might not like the person AT ALL by the end of the night?

I'm not saying guys have it easy, but if you think women have it easy, you're sadly mistaken. Dating is difficult on both ends.

This is why I said the opinions of people who married their college sweetheart decades ago don't really carry a lot of water to people dating online in 2014. If anything it's condescending.

I do think people who married their high school or college sweetheart are a bit out of touch with the reality of dating AFTER college. It is a whole different world.

However, the idea of meeting someone somewhere other than online is not out of date. It still happens. It is still possible. People still have social lives that put them into contact with other people.

Like I said, I've done the online thing and the old-fashioned thing. The online thing (for me) never led to a second date, while the men I've met in person have nearly all turned into long-term relationships. I've met people at grocery stores and gas stations and book stores. I wasn't looking and in fact most of those occurred while I was seeing someone already, so while they were nice for the ego, obviously that was the end of it. But it does happen.

Heck, some guy in the parking lot of the grocery store last week started a conversation with me based solely on the fact that I had reusable shopping bags. I don't think he was hitting on me, but had that been his intention (and he hadn't been old enough to be my father ...) it probably would have worked. He wasn't creepy about it.

There's nothing wrong with online dating and I wish you all luck with it. But to insinuate that it is the only option is sad. We do leave our houses and there are real people out there.

I found the OP's story disturbing. I figured a few weirdos, but I was surprised at the sheer "weirdo volume." Anyway, you may dismiss my following comment because "I'm out of the pool," but I'll say it anyway. I met my wife the old-fashioned way. She lived within a block a way at college and went to the same church and we've been married 15 years. So, I've thought about that and it turns out that factors influencing who you meet and who you become attracted to, romance, has an established scientific component, which is proximity. You fall in love with people who are nearest to you. See, e.g., http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_attraction and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_attraction. I say maximize your chances by using the science. And use the situations that are part of your ordinary routine: neighbors, classmates, coworkers, workers at the company down the hall, people you see at the cafe, church, volunteer organization, hobby, yes, even the gym. why not? Ok, the old 37 year old married dude will shut up now.

With online dating you expand the pool so your options aren't limited to the girl down the street. That's using science. Glad things worked out for you. Congratulations. Not everyone is so lucky.

This is why I said the opinions of people who married their college sweetheart decades ago don't really carry a lot of water to people dating online in 2014. If anything it's condescending.

Why is it condescending? Do people not go to College anymore? Why do married people not have a right to express their opinion about dating? We actually dated at one time, and since we are married now, how we did it apparently worked for us.
If someone is looking for success in finding a mate for life, then talking to the people who HAVE been successful in doing that, would be a GOOD thing.

There are pros and cons to both dating IRL and dating online. There is no one right way. When you are in college, that is the easiest time to find someone you connect with. Nothing has changed with that today. In fact, with the internet added in, it makes dating in college even better. You have many more ways to connect with them than before.

Now for those who are older, divorced, have kids, full time jobs, etc, finding someone to date is much harder. Dating at work can be dangerous, and unless you go to church, or have friends to set you up, your options are limited. Finding someone online is certainly a viable option.You just have to be much more careful.

The advice of "marry the girl down the street" is out of touch. Maybe I live in a bad part of town and the girl down the street is a tranny hooker. It worked for him, great. That doesn't mean it applies to anyone else.

It's basically the same as wealthy people saying "I don't understand why the poor just don't get well paying jobs?"

So you recommend finding someone to date and marry in college? Well damn, I already graduated. Guess I'll die alone.

Again, this is why I don't care to hear dating advice from people who've been married for years. You do not get it.

Did you miss my last paragraph?

BTW, as stated before, I DID meet my husband online. I have been thru dating at several times in my life. I never married the 'boy down the street', but some people have.
What exactly do I not GET?

This is like telling those who have reached goal weight on here that they don't GET what it is like being overweight, so their opinions and advice don't count.