Boyfriend has roadrage
Replies
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I'm not sure why this hasn't been suggested......
Just break up.
:flowerforyou:
QFT0 -
I agree.I'm not sure why this hasn't been suggested......
Just break up.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Assuming it's as serious as you say it is, I'm just wondering why you would continue to date someone who behaves like this. Is this not a red flag for you?
I know..... and I have left him for this reason and the usual "I'll change" begins. I think this is aging me! I love him but I hate him.
He's 58. Going on 12. He's not going to change, and the fact that he has already pulled the "I'm not overreacting. You're UNDERreacting" routine should have made that evident, if the rest of it didn't. The fact that you could even say the words "I hate him," even jokingly ... just get out.0 -
I'm not sure why this hasn't been suggested......
Just break up.
:flowerforyou:
QFT
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My brother-in-law has road rage and I gave my sister this advice early in their relationship: "Tell him that it bothers you enough that you would either like to drive separately or volunteer to drive all the time." I know my brother-in-law well enough to know that he'd prefer to drive with my sister and would prefer to be the one driving. It made him have to decide whether he'd rather blow up at people on the road or figure out some way to cool it...
I offered this but I also offered him chipping in for gas. I drive 30 min to work and back 5 days a week. He works out of his home, therefore does not use gas.
His response "if I'm buying gas, then I'm driving" What an *kitten*!0 -
If you have the ability, stop driving with him.
Slightly different issue (husband wouldn't stop "telling" me how to drive) but when I had it and the next time we went to go somewhere I told him he was taking his own car because he pissed me off too much while we were in the same car together.
He shut up...
ETA: someone beat me to it!0 -
Hello everyone. I'm not really new here.... lurked for a while, created a profile and then lurked some more.... finally got the nerve to post this as I am having a really hard time with it.
My boyfriend is just horrible with his road rage. There have been many times that I asked him to go home after returning from shopping and him going ballistic on someone in another car. This isn't a new topic for us. We have discussed it in great length.
He says he will try to control it. Then he says that I am a pushover for not getting angry at other drivers, seriously? I'm a calm person, driving relaxes me, if someone drives like an idiot, what will my honking and swearing at them resolve? I just blow it off and just steer clear of them.
So what I'm asking is what would you do? I can't expect him to change can I? And do people really change anyway?
What would you do?
Couple of questions:
What does he do when he "goes ballistic"?
Is he like this all of the time or is it just when driving?
I doubt there is much you can do, he has to recognize it as a problem himself.
What he does is hold down the horn (not just beep) and call them names. They can't hear him, it's friggen winter time and our windows are closed, I'm the one blessed by his intense madness. He also drives very close to them then zooms by them and stares them down. I mean, come one. He's 58 years old!!
Only when he's driving but he does complain often about other things.... that'll be another topic
If you hadn't mentioned he was 58 I might have started worrying my husband needed to tell me something :laugh:
Two things that calmed him down *a bit*
1. Not driving with heavy metal playing, he keeps it to techno in the car for the most part now
2. Driving for 4 years on the 405 in LA, eventually he just had to give up...
I know those might not be the most helpful suggestions, but the only other thing I've found that works is telling him off. He knows the only person he's pissing off is me and eventually he figured out that getting so pissed off that he was making me pissed off too wasn't working out well for him.
Oh, and my hubby is a constant b*tcher as well, also no getting rid of that one, I just laugh it off, deep down he's really the world biggest teddy bear, he just can't keep his opinions to himself, ever.0 -
May be you should stop over reacting and find a middle ground.0
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my dad\ used to be like this... one day he got p'd at another driver and chased him down on the highway just to flip him off. I made my dad pull over to the side of the road afterwards and let me out of the car - as I was getting out I flat out told him that if he wanted to kill himself or get himself killed with sh** like that it was fine, but I would never ride in the same car as him for doing it.
It was a while after that till we spoke again, but my mom (who was also in the car) thanked me and told me that the whole incident actually made him look at his own actions and he calmed down a lot after that...
Sometimes it just takes a real live slap like that to get peeps to wake up to what they are doing.0 -
I'm not sure why this hasn't been suggested......
Just break up.
:flowerforyou:
I try.. I posted this response earlier. He keeps saying he'll change.0 -
May be you should stop over reacting and find a middle ground.
Maybe you should get your macho *kitten* out of my thread!0 -
It's easy to be angry at a complete stranger on the road..tell him to pretend it's his mom/friend etc. you would easily shake your head and just think...damn my mom sucks at driving etc. rather than go into a fit of rage wishing you had built in machine guns to take out the stupid drivers that can't get the heck out of the way ...it's the fast lane....move over or get run over...
I so wish it was legal to shoot people who do that.0 -
Here locally a guy flipped a woman off before cutting her off and slamming on his breaks...ish got real at the stop light when she walked up to the car and SHOT HIM....true story!
She's my hero.
lol, your hero is some idiot who shot someone and for sure ended up in jail?0 -
No one's winning with road rage. You're either making your blood pressure go up, or pissing someone off enough that they'll start doing dangerous stuff to get even.
Seriously, there's a reason why I have a truck gun. Road ragers are extremely dangerous, I'm not letting one harm me or my wife.0 -
To put the whole, "why am I with a man who can't control his temper" ---- would you wish your children to be in the same car as this man? Would you wish your children to be around a man who couldn't be trusted enough to control his temper in-so-much that it escalates putting your babies at risk?
I think not.
You can do better than this and you know it. :flowerforyou:0 -
It's easy to be angry at a complete stranger on the road..tell him to pretend it's his mom/friend etc. you would easily shake your head and just think...damn my mom sucks at driving etc. rather than go into a fit of rage wishing you had built in machine guns to take out the stupid drivers that can't get the heck out of the way ...it's the fast lane....move over or get run over...
I so wish it was legal to shoot people who do that.
I want to shoot him!!! Me, the passenger!0 -
Why? You want your BF to change but don't want to change and find a middle ground. This a public forum, can't take the heat don't post.0
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See, I've tried the whole "I'm driving" thing, he tries to reach across the steering wheel to honk at people. It's that point when I punch him. Have I mentioned we have an odd dynamic?0
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Here locally a guy flipped a woman off before cutting her off and slamming on his breaks...ish got real at the stop light when she walked up to the car and SHOT HIM....true story!
She's my hero.
lol, your hero is some idiot who shot someone and for sure ended up in jail?
She shot a roadrager. They all need to be shot!0 -
Why does everyone take driving so seriously? Is anyone really going anywhere THAT important? I always drive 5 under the speed limit. Just leave earlier if you're on some sort of deadline or you're on your way to work. If you're getting off work why rush anyways? You're already off.
because I don't like wasting my life away sitting in a car behind a bunch of idiots driving slow in the fast lane or texting when the light is green instead of driving. Thats what roads are for, driving and getting to where you are going not relaxing and exting all your friends.0 -
Why? You want your BF to change but don't want to change and find a middle ground. This a public forum, can't take the heat don't post.
I'm taking the heat, I told you to get your macho *kitten* off my thread!!
I offered to drive! Read the entire thread big mouth!0 -
nm0
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See, I've tried the whole "I'm driving" thing, he tries to reach across the steering wheel to honk at people. It's that point when I punch him. Have I mentioned we have an odd dynamic?
:laugh: I could relate! He has road rage when I drive too!!! Not as bad though.0 -
A heavy dose of CELEXA!!!!
Or something!0 -
To put the whole, "why am I with a man who can't control his temper" ---- would you wish your children to be in the same car as this man? Would you wish your children to be around a man who couldn't be trusted enough to control his temper in-so-much that it escalates putting your babies at risk?
I think not.
You can do better than this and you know it. :flowerforyou:
Not only that, but what happens when her switches from being abusive at other drivers, and starts bringing it home to her? The cycle of violence is real, and one of the first parts of it for abusers is to attack external things.0 -
I would dump him and in the process loose a lot of scary weight. Road rage is BIG red flag.0
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She shot a roadrager. They all need to be shot!
So it's your boyfriend who overreacts and is irrational, is that right?0 -
Here locally a guy flipped a woman off before cutting her off and slamming on his breaks...ish got real at the stop light when she walked up to the car and SHOT HIM....true story!
She's my hero.
lol, your hero is some idiot who shot someone and for sure ended up in jail?
She shot a roadrager. They all need to be shot!
If all of the idiots lerned to drive the amount of road rage would decrease dramatically.0 -
Just let him know, somebody could take a gun and just shoot at him, if he opens his big mouth...
Dump the guy..0 -
She shot a roadrager. They all need to be shot!
So it's your boyfriend who overreacts and is irrational, is that right?
Yep, you got it.
You must have road rage.... maybe you know one another????0
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