Can a man and woman be good friends without...?

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Replies

  • IIIIISerenityNowIIIII
    IIIIISerenityNowIIIII Posts: 425 Member
    Nope, not in my experience.

    I used to think men and women could just be friends. I had some very close male friends for years and years before finding out the real reason they were my "friends". Now, I have some male friends but not "close". They are primarily my husband's friends whom I also talk to. I wouldn't invite them over to hang out alone like I would a woman. This is why I don't accept male friend requests on here.
  • smanning1982
    smanning1982 Posts: 210 Member
    All the guy friends I've ever had that I thought I was just going to be friends with, we end up sleeping together :/ the only exception is my female friends husbands. I'll become friends with them and obviously there's never any sexual tention there but I think that's because in my mind I KNOW they are off limits. And, then again, they are my friends by association, not someone I'd call to go hang out with...
  • Murphy0126
    Murphy0126 Posts: 84 Member
    My best friend for a while was a beautiful woman named Molly. We had everything in common, hung out all the time, and things were perfect. I was amazed that we could be such great friends without feelings getting in the way.

    Then, out of nowhere we kissed.

    Now, 2 years later, she's my fiance.

    Soooooo.....ummmm..... I'm going to say a MAYBE to your question, but if you guys get along really well and are both attracted to each other, then no.

    Rob
  • badgerdh
    badgerdh Posts: 179 Member
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zywIR_ZFLts

    This^^^
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Without sexual thoughts? Probably not. I mean a big cucumber can give me "sexual thoughts".

    Without sexual acts? Most definitely.
  • Erin_goBrahScience
    Erin_goBrahScience Posts: 1,215 Member
    There isn't a one size fits all answer to this question. For some yes, others no.

    For me a prime example is a guy I have known since I was 15. I met my husband at his wedding. While he and I are great friends our chats via phone became more brief when he met his now wife. She and I are great friends and out of respect for the boundaries of their relationship I stepped back. We would have brief phone calls but after a while they all but stopped. Now when we chat and catch up it's usually when we all get together. It's not that there is anything between us or ever will be; but it just wasn't appropriate to call him all the time when he was in a serious relationship. Again this is just my opinion.

    I don't have close emotional friendships with men anymore (aside from my SO). There was a time when I did but it seems that when everyone in my group of friends settled down some we just stopped texting and chatting. Mostly I get the occasional comment on FB but that's the extent of it.
  • farfalla2015
    farfalla2015 Posts: 44
    I've never really had a good, close friend that was a woman. And in reading a recent post, I was wondering, 'Can a man and a woman be good friends without some sort of sexual thoughts or actions getting in the way?' The answer for me, is probably no. I'm too much of a horn dog. I'm probably missing out on some meaningful relationships, but that's just me. Sometimes II kind of wish I had a close female friend, but such is life. Thoughts.

    No.
  • EddieHaskell97
    EddieHaskell97 Posts: 2,227 Member
    Certainly. Some of my best friends are women, and I can honestly say I've never had a sexy thought about them.
  • sad_kitty
    sad_kitty Posts: 84 Member
    Absolutely they can be friends. One of my best friends is a guy. We've been friends for almost 20 years now. The awesome part is that we both have the same name (different spellings). It confuses things in a funny way when we're out with our other friends and significant others. It was even funnier when we lived together and someone would phone for one of us.
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
    I have definitely had close male friends who I've genuinely never thought about sexually.
  • PatheticNoetic
    PatheticNoetic Posts: 905 Member
    I sure as h3ll hope so. I hate it when that *kitten* gets in the way.
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453 Member
    I think it's possible. I have many male friends. Yes, some of them find me attractive and have tried to date me, but for the most part we have a normal friendship. I have to hope it's possible. My boyfriend has mainly female friends. Of course there are guys who only befriend women to try to sleep with them.
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    One of my best friends is a man. We did have a period where we "talked" (or whatever you want to call it), but I was the awful person that friend-zoned him. It took a while of him not talking to me, but now we talk about everything. I ask for his advice for all sorts of things, as does he. He and his girlfriend are very happy and we have an excellent platonic relationship.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    Probably not. I mean a big cucumber can give me "sexual thoughts".

    :drinker: :drinker: :laugh:
  • moment_to_arise
    moment_to_arise Posts: 207 Member
    i have WAY more guy friends than girl friends...and i have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and never had issues with any of them. i guess its just a matter of what kind of person you are.
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    Can they just be friends..,,, yes it can happen but seldom doesnt if u r spending alot of time together and sharing secrets and such usually sex comes into play eventually...

    this is why people always say it just happened ....just my opinion
  • tmpecus78
    tmpecus78 Posts: 1,206 Member
    Single friends, I don't know. Sometimes, I guess. I can't say I ever had a guy friend that was single and attractive, and I was single, that there wasn't some sort of thought, if not necessarily action. If there's no attraction, then yes, I suppose.

    I did/do have lots of couples friends though, where I'm friends with the wife, ex is friends with the husband, and we all hung out together without any thoughts or actions.

    But I think hanging out with a guy one on one, if there was attraction, I'd probably act on it, thereby making the whole friend thing moot.

    who you doin'? :flowerforyou:
  • ajmaupin
    ajmaupin Posts: 44
    Without sexual thoughts? Probably not. I mean a big cucumber can give me "sexual thoughts".

    Without sexual acts? Most definitely.

    I second this. People can have thoughts like "what if?" but its whether you act on them. Being married and having too much respect for my husband and my friendship with male friends, I don't act.
  • TwinMamma09
    TwinMamma09 Posts: 140
    i tend to gravitate toward men... we all know that women including me can be as catty as all get out... the men are up front about stuff. i like that. and it doesnt hurt to be built like i am ... cuz i tend to scare them!!!! LOL

    This 100%
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    My best friend of 16 years is a straight dude. We've never put the P in the V or even kissed.
  • Unknown
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  • bonkers1224
    bonkers1224 Posts: 80 Member
    Without actions? Possibly.

    Without thoughts? No.

    This.

    +1

    challenge accepted!
  • ddixon503
    ddixon503 Posts: 119 Member
    Without sexual 'thought'? Probably not. Without sexual 'contact'? Yup.
  • dlionsmane
    dlionsmane Posts: 674 Member
    I feel like men and women will have different answers to this question.

    As a woman who has had (what I thought were) several good male friends in my life. I can tell you this, just about every (if not every) one of them would have been very, very happy to have been 'un-friend-zoned'. I usually found out too late!
  • Ransom_G
    Ransom_G Posts: 2,068 Member
    My best friend of 16 years is a straight dude. We've never put the P in the V or even kissed.

    He's thought about it.
  • Thewatcher_66
    Thewatcher_66 Posts: 1,643 Member
    I think it's possible and there's nothing wrong with having those thoughts because she could very well be feeling the same way.
  • Followingsea
    Followingsea Posts: 407 Member
    One of my best friends is a dude. We used to go out for dinner at least once a week, until I moved 90 minutes away and it got harder to do.

    We've been friends for over a decade and there's never been any sexual tension / flirting, anything.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Without actions? Possibly.

    Without thoughts? No.

    Yup.

    Unless the thoughts are "TRUE LOVE" or "I HAVE TO BONE YOU!" you'd probably be able to get along fine.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Let me clarify a little because there seems to be some misunderstandings here. Of course men and women can be good friends. But just know, at least from a guy perspective, that he has probably at least imagined you naked. My wife always asks me "Do you think this guy or that guy is thinking about me naked?" I always say "Yes." Every time she seems surprised.

    I imagine most people naked at least once. And I'm not the only woman that does this.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Let me clarify a little because there seems to be some misunderstandings here. Of course men and women can be good friends. But just know, at least from a guy perspective, that he has probably at least imagined you naked. My wife always asks me "Do you think this guy or that guy is thinking about me naked?" I always say "Yes." Every time she seems surprised.

    I imagine most people naked at least once. And I'm not the only woman that does this.

    *nods appreciatively*

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