Can a man and woman be good friends without...?

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Replies

  • I have always preferred male company to female company & most of my close friends are male; to me there is so much less drama with blokes.... Most woman I'm friends with talk about make-up, fashion, hair & soap operas, and think bodily functions are disgusting; whereas when I'm with my male friends we talk about muscles, tattoos & cars and we have belching contests & laugh at one another's farts; on the whole, I have more in common with blokes, despite me being a wife & mother....

    So in my opinion, yes male & female can be friends, without sexual feelings; I love my male friends like brothers, but I love my hubby with every inch of my being; I have never & could never think of another man in the intimate way I think about my hubby....

    Unless Jessie Pavelka was one of my friends.... Now that would be a whole different ball game....!!
  • Heather032190
    Heather032190 Posts: 138 Member
    Let me clarify a little because there seems to be some misunderstandings here. Of course men and women can be good friends. But just know, at least from a guy perspective, that he has probably at least imagined you naked. My wife always asks me "Do you think this guy or that guy is thinking about me naked?" I always say "Yes." Every time she seems surprised.

    I imagine most people naked at least once. And I'm not the only woman that does this.

    ^^This!!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    Sure. If the two people are truly committed to their SO's, then I can't see why not. I am great friends with 2 female trainers at work who are both married. We've all shared personal stories with each other.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    My best friend is a man (my husband is also my best friend). We've been friends for almost 22 years. He's like a brother to me. What makes it easy is that he's also best friends with my husband. We call ourselves the 3 Muskateers.

    Frankly, I prefer male friends for hanging out. I'm not super girly or a flirt, and I just find it easier to connect more with a man than I do with most women. The very few close female friends I have are like me, with more male friends than female friends.

    I think because I don't flirt and am not all that attractive (just being honest, hey), men feel more comfortable around me.
  • Heather032190
    Heather032190 Posts: 138 Member
    Sure. If the two people are truly committed to their SO's, then I can't see why not. I am great friends with 2 female trainers at work who are both married. We've all shared personal stories with each other.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I agree with this also...I am pretty close with one of my co-workers and he is married, I am in a relationship and we share stories and talk alot but only while at work. We do not communicate outside of work and I do believe in some way that helps this situation from getting physical. I will admit that personally yes I thought about him naked or sexually but they are just thoughts.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    I mean a big cucumber can give me "sexual thoughts".

    Well don't try to eat RAW then. You won't make it through a meal without consequences.
  • ElyseL1
    ElyseL1 Posts: 504 Member
    Once upon a time I thought you could but I learned better when my now husband and I got serious. All of my straight male friends dropped me. Didnt really understand why at the time since I never flirted with any one them and they all knew abt my husband. Since then a lot of my male friends have ended up being through him and I can honestly say I wont go out of my way to make lunch plans with them.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    No, they really can't.
    You're not a horn dog, you are just normal. And women have just as strong of a drive, they just approach sex differently (and it's often totally missed/misunderstood by men).
  • MariaChele85
    MariaChele85 Posts: 267 Member
    Without actions? Possibly.

    Without thoughts? No.
    ^ EXACTLY. I have plenty of close guy friends. It doesnt mean I dont have thoughts.
  • tmpecus78
    tmpecus78 Posts: 1,206 Member
    My best friend of 16 years is a straight dude. We've never put the P in the V or even kissed.

    He's thought about it.

    QFT
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    Only with set boundaries
  • Molly08
    Molly08 Posts: 153 Member
    I have a couple guy friends with zero sexual tension or thoughts but they are also seeing some of my closest friends and I love them like brothers. If you are both single then no dice. One or the other (or both!) is definitely thinking/wanting things to go further. I've learned this the hard way.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
    Yes. But as mentioned before, with set boundaries.
  • MuscleAndMascara
    MuscleAndMascara Posts: 1,260 Member
    It depends on the mind set or the friendship I would say.

    It's possible yes. I have my male best friends of 5 years and this poor guy would take care of me on our bar nights when I had a few too many. Even put me in the shower one time without a stare of sexualy touch. (Free shots from scretchy guys across the bar) I thank my lucky stars for him. He was even my room mate in a 2 bed room apt. for a year. He would go out with his girl friends and I would go on my dates.

    I am married now and he is still my best friend. The three of us even hang out.

    It just depends I guess.
  • Yes. All I had was guy friends growing up. I had 3 friends that were girls but mostly male. I hangout with my husband's friends because their wives/girlfriends don't want nothing to do with me. I have been invited to places but told not to come by the women themselves. I had that problem ever since I was little. I never had a sexual towards my guy friends and also the other way around I was consider one of the guys for them to.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    There's a very good chance that if you're a guy friend of mine that I want to (at the very least) make-out. But then again, I have very few guy friends because a lot of guys just rub me the wrong way, so if I keep you around, there's something about you that is attractive to me.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    LOLOL. No.
  • IslandLaydi
    IslandLaydi Posts: 7 Member
    Yes anything is possible...but know even if is not on your mind it will cross his...lol
  • kdb247
    kdb247 Posts: 326 Member
    Unfortunately, I don’t have any “Good Friends” that are males.

    To answer your question based on the males I do know, NOPE!:noway:
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    My best friend of 16 years is a straight dude. We've never put the P in the V or even kissed.

    He's thought about it.

    The same as mine, honestly. He's not on MFP to ask but after this long --- if those feelings were hiding for either of us, we would have said something by now.


    ETA: I had lots of dudes I was friends with and the relationship included sex or interest. This is totally different.
  • DjinnMarie
    DjinnMarie Posts: 1,297 Member
    No :angry:
  • MissSaturday
    MissSaturday Posts: 784 Member
    Just No
  • Possibly but unlikely.
  • DjinnMarie
    DjinnMarie Posts: 1,297 Member
    There's a very good chance that if you're a guy friend of mine that I want to (at the very least) make-out. But then again, I have very few guy friends because a lot of guys just rub me the wrong way, so if I keep you around, there's something about you that is attractive to me.

    At least you are getting rubbed.

    :laugh:
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    No.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    I would think most of us have those type of thoughts cross our mind even with women who are not our close friends. As some have mentioned, do we act on them? I certainly hope not. There too is the question of whether it is a fleeting thought that we bring into the subjection to our sense of morality OR is it a thought that we choose to dwell upon? It is those type thoughts that will eventually lead to action if we don't exercise self control. As the old saying goes, you can't control the bird flying over your head but you don't have to let him roost.
  • stanleypoobrick
    stanleypoobrick Posts: 71 Member
    if you believe that, then surely you think that people who are interested in people of all genders can't have any friends. I'm not attracted to every single person I meet and have plenty of platonic friends.
  • TheLadyBane
    TheLadyBane Posts: 299 Member
    Geez, this is a question I have never, ever understood. I have tons and tons of male friends who I have absolutely no attraction to or sexual interest in and they feel the same towards me. I'm talking about friendships that have lasted over a decade. I readily admit more than a few of these guys are amazing and funny friends but would be awful love interests, lol.
  • tattygun
    tattygun Posts: 447 Member
    Yeah completely possible. In fact people who think it's not possible and think if you're talking to a woman and getting on, having a laugh etc that it must be leading somewhere or that one of us has other intentions.... well, those people get on my my tits!