An open letter...

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  • bsoxluvr
    bsoxluvr Posts: 183 Member
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    Dear Selfish Neighbors,

    Please stop parking in front of my house! If you look really closely you will notice you not only have space in front of your own house, but unlike us, you also have a driveway!! I realize it takes a lot to walk across the street and move your car after the street sweeper has come, so imagine how fun it is for me to have to park 2 houses down because you leave your car in same spot all week. Please stop being lazy and move your damn car!

    Yours Truly,
    Move It Before I Move It For You
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    Hola Senior and Senora,

    I am so happy you had a good time on Thanksgiving with your family and friends. But did you really have to play that same mariachi tape over and over for 10 hours at the highest volume on your boom box?

    By the way........I TOO was having a dinner with family and friends and had to close all my windows and turn on the AC on a beautiful Autumn day.

    Signed,

    Next time I call the cops:angry:
  • SafariLara
    SafariLara Posts: 172
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    Dear Lady at the post office-

    I don't care that you've worked here for the last 40 years, you can still be nice to me when I want to get my locks changed.

    Love,

    The girl who now goes to the OTHER post office
  • mikeheil13
    mikeheil13 Posts: 9
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    Dear Weight,
    We've had some good times together, you and me. We have enjoyed all the spoils that life has to offer, and it's been a fun ride. But the time has come for us to part ways. I know your gonna wanna hang on and cling to me, but it's ok to let go. I'll be fine. Please go willingly, because you don't have a say anymore.
    Warmest regards and adios!!!
    The new me


    LOVE IT!! and Ditto btw =)
  • ksproston
    ksproston Posts: 6,929 Member
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    Dear Hubs,

    What crawled up your *kitten*?

    Love,
    Your annoyed wife
  • frankborelli
    frankborelli Posts: 218 Member
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    Oh, I am SO glad I'm not "hubs" right now... :-)
  • MISTTIMG
    MISTTIMG Posts: 136
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    Oh, I am SO glad I'm not "hubs" right now... :-)

    That's funny! no dog house for you! lol
  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
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    Oh, I am SO glad I'm not "hubs" right now... :-)

    Me, too!
  • amie1979
    amie1979 Posts: 19
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    dear life,
    is it too much to ask that you dont drop everything on me at once? if you havent noticed, there are 12 months in a year. can we space out the bs to one, maybe two (and thats pushing it) a month? or are we trying to hit a quota of crap before the year is out?
    amie


    dear two year old,
    there is no need to lick the carpet. just because i run the vaccum everyday does not mean you have to taste it and see if its clean. thanks.
    mom



    dear mom,
    yes, i heard you. yes, i heard you. YES, I HEARD YOU.
    your loving daughter



    dear work,
    enough already, ok? thanks.
    employee 715241
  • msbanana
    msbanana Posts: 793 Member
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    Dear Crazy Lady on the Treadmill,

    It' was 6am. Everyone was at the gym to do work and then go to work. WHY, WHY must you yell about the president and sports and any other damn thing that comes on the TV?? If you can yell that loud you CLEARLY aren't running hard enough. I realize you have the flight crew head phones on and can't hear yourself but let me tell you YOU'RE LOUD AS HELL!!! I can't turn my music player up enough to drown your nutty *kitten* out. Did I mention It was S-I-X AM?!? I don't like mornings and my patience is especially thin when I haven't had coffee or breakfast. All I wanted was to plug in to some crappy 80's music and run. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO your crazy *kitten* has to scream and yell about things not a soul in the gym cared about at that moment. So, when I told you to shut the *kitten* up. I meant it. Feel fortunate I supressed the first impulse which was to hold down the UP button until you flew off the back of the treadmill. Calling me a b*tch in the locker room? You're lucky I didn't eat your face. Just sayin. NEXT TIME you're yelling and screaming at the top of your lungs about that bs first thing in the morning I PROMISE I'm going to "drop" my water bottle on your treadmill and trip you. Even if I have to lob it across the gym. You CRAZY HEFFER.

    LOVE,
    The b*tch that told you to shut the *kitten* up
  • msbanana
    msbanana Posts: 793 Member
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    Dearest Kitty,
    I love you . More than ANYTHING in the world. You're my girl and you're my BEST friend. You love me fat or thin, smelly or clean. I know we have good talks all the time but WHY are you sitting here YOWLING at me? I know for a fact you've got food, I just cleaned and refilled your water dish, I've offered you my lap for snuggles, I've rubbed your tummy.. what gives? Are you trying to make me crazy? I love you to peices but I want to choke you. SHUT UP!!

    Love,
    Your adoring mom
    ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Dear Self,

    Damn you're hostile today. Chill the eff out. Why is everything on your nerve so bad?

    Love
    you.
  • Wendybirduk
    Wendybirduk Posts: 92 Member
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    Dearest Kitty,
    I love you . More than ANYTHING in the world. You're my girl and you're my BEST friend. You love me fat or thin, smelly or clean. I know we have good talks all the time but WHY are you sitting here YOWLING at me? I know for a fact you've got food, I just cleaned and refilled your water dish, I've offered you my lap for snuggles, I've rubbed your tummy.. what gives? Are you trying to make me crazy? I love you to peices but I want to choke you. SHUT UP!!

    Love,
    Your adoring mom

    Dear Adoring mom

    I'm a cat! It's my job.

    Love your adoring Kittie

    ps: I can't remember where I left my half eaten mouse. Have you seen it?
  • TwiFan5
    TwiFan5 Posts: 419 Member
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    Dear Mum

    I know that you have such a hard life with all the stress at work and with my 3 younger brothers but I am not here to look after them all the time, I have a life and don't need to take care of 3 boys that don't listen to me because I'm not their MOTHER.

    Love your cranky daughter.

    Dear Boyfriend

    I know that you have a tendency to never be on time but please remember that when you say that you will be here at a certain time then I usually rearrange what I have planned so that I can be on time but you never are so please make an effort to be on time.

    Love your punctual girlfriend

    Dear Step mum

    I love that you worry about me and are worried about why I have been so exhausted lately but I am fine and there is no way in hell that I can be pregnant so don't stress and i it turns out that I am then I know that I have your support and my dads.

    Love your step daughter that worries you so much. :)

    I will probably have some more but these are what I came up with so far.
  • pauldbarnhart
    pauldbarnhart Posts: 5,999 Member
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    Dear boss,

    Please stop dropping by my desk when I'm playing on MFP.

    Sincerely,

    I work 10+ hours a day, and you stop in for the 20 minutes I'm goofing off?
  • KendalBeee
    KendalBeee Posts: 2,269 Member
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    Dear gym,

    You have a "No One Under 13 Years Old Allowed" rule. Please enforce it.

    Sincerely,
    a paying customer
  • LJK100
    LJK100 Posts: 39 Member
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    Dear 60s plus woman,


    That mini skirt and "do-me" shoes shouldn't be seen in public on a woman your age. I think it's fantastic if your husband finds you attractive and sexy when you are dressed that way, but I don't. Keep it at home, please.

    Also....that Dolly Parton wig is laughable. You might want to find something a little less over the top.

    Signed,

    Nauseated at the grocery store.
  • LJK100
    LJK100 Posts: 39 Member
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    Dear 60s plus woman,


    That mini skirt and "do-me" shoes shouldn't be seen in public on a woman your age. I think it's fantastic if your husband finds you attractive and sexy when you are dressed that way, but I don't. Keep it at home, please.

    Also....that Dolly Parton wig is laughable. You might want to find something a little less over the top.

    Signed,

    Nauseated at the grocery store.

    DO ME SHOES!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAAH! TOOOOOO FUNNY.....
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    Dear son,

    I know it's very exciting to know you're father is home. He does leave you for a week to go to work, and then comes home for a week. But why the minute your father comes through that door, do you become a raging jerk? You are such an angel when he's gone. You're helpful and calm, not snotty in any way. You get your homework done the best of your ability, you read like you've been reading forever! The teachers all comment on what an awesome job you're doing at school, everything is beautiful...until your father gets home. I don't understand, he's the enforcer, he's the one you worry about when you have bad days (why i'm not sure, he's a leniant parents). But you become a totally different child. You're defiant, you back talk, you don't do your work without constant b!tching. It makes life really hard, especially since I envisioned a happy family when we're all together, instead of a spoiled little brat. Every day I tell your father how awesome you are, but when he comes home you totally prove me wrong. Something's got to change, because it's causing your father and I to fight too, so please get off your high horse and just do as i ask without the back talking and the snot nose tone of voice. No more arguing and fighting over stupid things, and please please please please talk to me with some respect while you're father is around. I know I'm not your real mom, but that's never been an issue before, show your dad what an awesome, well behaved kid you are PLEASE!

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