Girls do you like a nice guy? You just friendzoned him

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Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Cliches are never good -- in writing or in people.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    i have to be sexually attracted to every guy who's nice to me and shows interest? GTFO. :angry:
    You're not???
  • bumblebreezy91
    bumblebreezy91 Posts: 520 Member
    I don't even understand where this "chicks love jerks" myth comes from. Is it that American stereotype of college girls falling for the quarterback or something?

    Yeah this. My husband is the nicest guy I know.

    Yeah. My fiancé, his father, his brother, and my brother are all the sweetest men I have ever known and they're reaping the benefits of being legitimately nice. They certainly aren't friendzoned. My brother is the only single person in that list and he's single by choice so he can focus on school.

    I'm an American and I don't understand where this whole "women want the bad guy and are super-bi*ches to nice guys" thing comes from. I'm sure it happens and that's horrible that some women will use nice guys and lead them on, but I think it's ultimately an overused excuse so "bad" guys can say "I guess I was too nice for her and she friendzoned me" without putting any blame on themselves. I know women who do this too - "he didn't want me, I'm clearly too nice" when the reality is opposite. It's not just guys.

    I'm marrying a nice guy. Legitimately nice girls are not hard for legitimately nice guys to find at all (and vice versa).
  • rjmwx81
    rjmwx81 Posts: 259 Member
    i have to be sexually attracted to every guy who's nice to me and shows interest? GTFO. :angry:

    Of course not. The friendzone is not just a matter of "Oh, I'm not interested, sorry." It's more a matter of "I'm not interested but I'm going to let you continue to dote upon me while you labor under the delusion that if you just make the right kind gesture it would spark my interest after all."
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
    Not always true at all!
  • DamianaKitten
    DamianaKitten Posts: 479 Member
    i have to be sexually attracted to every guy who's nice to me and shows interest? GTFO. :angry:

    Of course not. The friendzone is not just a matter of "Oh, I'm not interested, sorry." It's more a matter of "I'm not interested but I'm going to let you continue to dote upon me while you labor under the delusion that if you just make the right kind gesture it would spark my interest after all."

    So, the friend zone isn't about guys you pity themselves because they're nice and just have a female as a friend. It's about manipulative women who take advantage of men? That's a different issue all together.

    It's interesting to me that men and women have such different views on what the "friend zone" is.

    In my experience, the term "friend zone" is used by men who feel that being a "nice guy" is enough, and that women should fall all over them. So, those men are nice simply to "get the girl." A genuinely nice person doesn't give a damn one way or the other, because they're nice. There is no motive other than "being a decent human" behind their actions.
  • MartialPanda
    MartialPanda Posts: 919 Member
    "Nice guy" = entitled man with poor social skills who believes that women owe him sex (or a relationship if he's the type who insists that it's not about sex) if he displays the bare minimum of being (or pretending to be) a decent human being.

    ^THIS

    Also............Check your privilege dear god.
  • DamianaKitten
    DamianaKitten Posts: 479 Member
    i have to be sexually attracted to every guy who's nice to me and shows interest? GTFO. :angry:

    Of course not. The friendzone is not just a matter of "Oh, I'm not interested, sorry." It's more a matter of "I'm not interested but I'm going to let you continue to dote upon me while you labor under the delusion that if you just make the right kind gesture it would spark my interest after all."

    I have another comment on this.

    If a woman says "I'm not interested in a relationship, I just want to be friends" (or anything along those lines) and the man continues to pursue her anyways, what is the woman supposed to do? Please note this is different from women who don't actually tell a man she's not interested, and intentionally leads him on.

    I've had men who I have informed I that I wasn't interested, and they continued to act as though I hadn't said it at all. So, it's my fault? :huh: Explain that to me.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    patriarchal bull**** and how it taints almost every single thing in society/life ...yea I have an astonishingly low opinion of *men*

    however I know and thankfully get to spend some of my time with amazing individuals who happen to be men . I have very high opinions of them because they as human beings are amazing and deserve all my respect

    You kinda scare me a bit.
  • mikejholmes
    mikejholmes Posts: 291 Member
    Everyone has good points :)

    Strong first post.

    th?id=H.4607062375531172&pid=15.1

    And nobody caught the clever bit about the zombie thread..... makes me sad....
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    i have to be sexually attracted to every guy who's nice to me and shows interest? GTFO. :angry:

    Of course not. The friendzone is not just a matter of "Oh, I'm not interested, sorry." It's more a matter of "I'm not interested but I'm going to let you continue to dote upon me while you labor under the delusion that if you just make the right kind gesture it would spark my interest after all."
    Why would you keep going out of your way for a woman who is clearly not interested in you if your only goal is to get into her pants? She's wrong for "letting" you keep doing nice things when she knows you aren't going to get anywhere?

    Stop doing that, then. Or be a truly nice guy and do things because you're a nice guy.

    My fiance takes really good care of my single friends -- fixes their cars, pays for drinks and dinners sometimes and helps out with things around their houses. He does those things because he IS a nice guy. He has no interest in anything other than a thank you from them.

    My best friend lives a couple hours away and she just bought a house. Every time we visit her, he fixes one thing or another for her or mows her lawn. Because, again, he's a nice person who enjoys doing nice things for people.
  • ajfrench
    ajfrench Posts: 323 Member
    Nice guys. Love 'em. But, you have to have something a little more than just being "nice." Most of the time this is used as code for boring and dull. I know plenty of nice guys who get the girl - they usually are interesting and fun as well.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    dFGW2.jpg
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Everyone has good points :)

    Strong first post.

    th?id=H.4607062375531172&pid=15.1

    And nobody caught the clever bit about the zombie thread..... makes me sad....
    i did.


    i must be old

    to me a nice guy is simply a guy who is nice.

    some of the definitions here are weird:indifferent:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Please note this is different from women who don't actually tell a man she's not interested, and intentionally leads him on.

    I think at some point, no matter what she says, if a woman isn't interested it's pretty obvious and if the guy continues pursuiing her it's as much on him as it is on her.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Everyone has good points :)

    Strong first post.

    th?id=H.4607062375531172&pid=15.1

    And nobody caught the clever bit about the zombie thread..... makes me sad....

    Oh my god! Make it right!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    "You're such a nice guy." That has always been the kiss of death.

    I was relegated to the "nice guy" status so many times by gals I liked. Only to watch them get shlt on by some bad boy. I remember being hurt by that several times when I was younger. Now that I have had some years to reflect, I am so happy I found a woman that was looking for a "nice guy". Someone she could depend on.

    I am also happy that some of those women I wanted, but could never have, finally did find a "nice guy". I am just sorry that they had to go through some of the disapointment that they went through first.

    I can also say, proudly, that my own daughters were paying attention to they way I treated their mother, and they have set their standards high.

    Don't get me wrong. I can be a very bad boy. Just not with the people I care about.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I was relegated to the "nice guy" status so many times by gals I liked. Only to watch them get shlt on by some bad boy.

    Haven't you said several times, though, that you cheated on every woman you dated AND your ex-wife? That your current wife is the only woman you have been faithful to in your entire life?

    I don't think that's the definiteion of a nice guy. At least not mine.
  • Samby_v1
    Samby_v1 Posts: 202 Member
    My thoughts, if it hasn't already been posted...

    http://imgur.com/gallery/RmAjE
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Games suck.
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    It's interesting to me that men and women have such different views on what the "friend zone" is.

    i have always had more male friends than female. we'll hang out, watch movies, play games, hike, go for dinner, beers, whatever. want to hang out with me? great, let's do it. want to hang out with me (after i have made it perfectly clear that i am not 'available') because you hope you'll one day get more out of me than hanging out? *kitten* off, that's manipulation. i'm not flirting with or leading on these friends. i'm not letting them buy me stuff. i'm not giving them any kind of false hope. i'm focused on enjoying movies, games, dinners, and beers with people. as long as they keep their hands to themselves and their lips zipped with the 'friendzone' bs, i'm cool. i'm not responsible for whatever delusions they come up with in their own heads. i'm not the one putting them there. and yes, i have distanced myself from male 'friends' who couldn't keep their attraction in check.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I :heart: these threads.

    They're magnets for stereotypes, bitterness, *kitten* hats, and anti-social personalities.

    So . . . In.
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
    i like nice people.

    that's it.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I :heart: these threads.

    They're magnets for stereotypes, bitterness, *kitten* hats, and anti-social personalities.

    So . . . In.

    IKR? So many hateful women in here.

    I still hold that finding a great woman is harder than finding a great man.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I was relegated to the "nice guy" status so many times by gals I liked. Only to watch them get shlt on by some bad boy.

    Haven't you said several times, though, that you cheated on every woman you dated AND your ex-wife? That your current wife is the only woman you have been faithful to in your entire life?

    I don't think that's the definiteion of a nice guy. At least not mine.

    I sure did. I guess I am not a nice guy. Never mind.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I :heart: these threads.

    They're magnets for stereotypes, bitterness, *kitten* hats, and anti-social personalities.

    So . . . In.

    IKR? So many hateful women in here.

    I still hold that finding a great woman is harder than finding a great man.

    I don't know about how common either good men or good women are, but I know I got lucky.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    "Nice guy" = entitled man with poor social skills who believes that women owe him sex (or a relationship if he's the type who insists that it's not about sex) if he displays the bare minimum of being (or pretending to be) a decent human being.
    Not quite. I've been the nice guy more times than I'd like to admit and I have a few friends who are still the nice guy. Nice guys don't always have poor social skills or expect anyone to have sex with them just for being nice. Basically, they just lack confidence when it comes to women.

    Women like guys with confidence, and they need to feel like they're pretty and desirable. Nice guys get put into the friendzone because they don't have the balls to make a move and they fear rejection, so they just act overly nice towards the girls they like in hopes that they'll make the move instead. Women write this off as a turnoff or a lack of interest and that's where the friendzone comes in. And then the nice guy gets confused when the girl falls for the guy with confidence even though he treats her like crap.
  • SGM_Adonis
    SGM_Adonis Posts: 1,565 Member
    spotniceguy.gif
  • just_Jennie1
    just_Jennie1 Posts: 1,233
    "Nice guy" = entitled man with poor social skills who believes that women owe him sex (or a relationship if he's the type who insists that it's not about sex) if he displays the bare minimum of being (or pretending to be) a decent human being.

    Huh.

    My husband is a very nice guy. He is also owns a business and is a professional electrical engineer. He has awesome social skills and we are constantly meeting new people and making friends every time we go out. I also have plenty of friends who are nice guys and none of them fit into the little box that you painted. In fact they're all professionals, well-educated and have social skills, which are the reasons why they are my friends.

    So . .not sure where your idea of what a nice guy comes from. To me your description fits the definition of an *kitten*.

    ETA: Then again maybe my definition of "nice guy" is different than everyone elses.

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