Girls do you like a nice guy? You just friendzoned him

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  • katylil
    katylil Posts: 223 Member
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    The thing is I do not believe in male-female friendships. There are really no girls which I like as friend company. Sure, I can go out with some girls I know on friday night with my other company, but they are not my friends. In past I tried to be friends with some girls, but it always turned out that I started to like her in physical way or she started to like me so I just stopped that s*h*i*t all together at once. Other thing is that there is no "guy talk" with girls and things that interests most girls are boring to me so why bother to pretend that I am interested? I am not saying that there are no boring guys, but we can find a lot more thing in common.

    You might be meeting the wrong kind of women. :laugh: I have many more male friends than female friends. Sure, some have tried to date me, and I told them no. Of that portion, some stayed friends, and some were only interested in teh vag. As it is, I'm more open, blunt, and "guy-like" than some of the men that I know. That's actually a large part of why I have so few female friends, but the female friends I do have are just as aggressive, perverted, and blunt as I am, so it's fun.

    This.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Oh god, no. Not the "nice guy" who got "friendzoned".
  • nicolabarratt267
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    I can honestly say that my boyfriend is one of the nice guys, and I mean really nice. He's incredibly supportive of everything in my life such as career, family problems, finances etc. He's understanding and genuine. I trust him 100%. I used to go for the 'bad guys' when I was a teenager, but then I grew up...
  • otter090812
    otter090812 Posts: 380 Member
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    I think this comic sums it up quite nicely (and hilariously):

    "THE FRIENDZONER vs THE NICE GUY"

    https://imgur.com/a/RmAjE

    Love this!

    I found a genuinely 'nice guy' - not one who labelled himself as that in order to deal with a bruised ego - and I married him.
  • vuco1990
    vuco1990 Posts: 29 Member
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    Thing is that I can only see girls as a friend that are not appealing to me in physical way, but than what it happens she makes a move on me. Sure, she can be interesting as a person, but if I do not feel sexual attraction that would be just me forcing myself in something I really do not want. I have to put her in "friendzone" and that just makes me feel bad, because she can be a really good friend, but I am not interested in that kind of way. When that did happened a couple of times I just said no to all this ever again.

    Every woman you know has thrown herself at you, huh?

    Not like that. It can start as a friendship, but always it was me liking her ( and not telling her that) or she liking me (and not telling me that) . Either, I want to stay on friendship level or she wants So, I just stopped with that all together. Generally, in area were I live this attitude is not uncommon. Of course I can be friend with some older neighbor women or something like that, but with girls of my age hardly. No, I am not even that good looking for girls to be "throwing them self on me", but I just have different point of view on male-female relationship and it did showed to be truth for me at least.

    Sadly I can certainly imagine that if you live many places in the US your viewpoints are indeed common. I like giving people new perspectives though, especially when the current social perspectives on male-female friendships are downright sexist and deny women any social power outside of sexual relations with men. So my post was food for thought for you! Never too late to try and change society for the better. It changes all the time. This viewpoint helps back a terrible social assumption that the female gender's entire worth to society is only sexual. By doing that you add to the struggles of 51% of the people on earth. Occasionally you'll meet a person you're attracted to, for you they'll likely be female, but treat other women your age the way you would treat men. With respect, as interesting people, who could potentially be your friend, coworker, superior, or anything else. THAT makes someone a nice person.

    And I highly doubt every girl your age you've met that you're not attracted to has become attracted to you. Unless you're quite young, in which case ridiculous numbers of hormones make teens sexually attracted to all girls, some guys, and sometimes more than that. But even then. Generalizations will not help you in life.

    Nah, I really do not care if I "limit" myself. I got a dozen of male friends from childhood which I have been friends with 10+ years and they proven to be"real" (standing by you when s*h*i*t hits the fan). I really do not feel that I am missing something out.
  • XLombardX
    XLombardX Posts: 23 Member
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    There's a difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy. Here's a reformed Nice Guy talking about the difference: http://www.shakesville.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html

    Why do we talk about girls friendzoning guys, and not guys girlfriendzoning girls? Why doesn't a girl go to her friends and say "I met this guy that I really liked and I thought we'd be good friends, but he totally girlfriendzoned me". assumes
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
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    There's a difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy. Here's a reformed Nice Guy talking about the difference: http://www.shakesville.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html

    That might be the best thing on the internet. Thanks very much for that.
  • randotallguy
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    Totally agree. Great comic and nails it.

    "Nice guy" or not, it's up to a guy that is friends with a girl to be upfront about his feelings. There is nothing wrong with feeling attracted to a female friend and wanting to date her after getting to know her a bit. But do NOT pine for her or keep it this deep, dark secret, or get resentful. Be upfront, accept what she says.

    If she's not interested be honest about if you can still be just friends. Hopefully you can. Don't stay friends and secretly think you can secretly convince her or manipulate her into liking you. The best thing you can do is move on and go for other women.
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
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    Thing is that I can only see girls as a friend that are not appealing to me in physical way, but than what it happens she makes a move on me. Sure, she can be interesting as a person, but if I do not feel sexual attraction that would be just me forcing myself in something I really do not want. I have to put her in "friendzone" and that just makes me feel bad, because she can be a really good friend, but I am not interested in that kind of way. When that did happened a couple of times I just said no to all this ever again.

    Every woman you know has thrown herself at you, huh?

    Not like that. It can start as a friendship, but always it was me liking her ( and not telling her that) or she liking me (and not telling me that) . Either, I want to stay on friendship level or she wants So, I just stopped with that all together. Generally, in area were I live this attitude is not uncommon. Of course I can be friend with some older neighbor women or something like that, but with girls of my age hardly. No, I am not even that good looking for girls to be "throwing them self on me", but I just have different point of view on male-female relationship and it did showed to be truth for me at least.

    Sadly I can certainly imagine that if you live many places in the US your viewpoints are indeed common. I like giving people new perspectives though, especially when the current social perspectives on male-female friendships are downright sexist and deny women any social power outside of sexual relations with men. So my post was food for thought for you! Never too late to try and change society for the better. It changes all the time. This viewpoint helps back a terrible social assumption that the female gender's entire worth to society is only sexual. By doing that you add to the struggles of 51% of the people on earth. Occasionally you'll meet a person you're attracted to, for you they'll likely be female, but treat other women your age the way you would treat men. With respect, as interesting people, who could potentially be your friend, coworker, superior, or anything else. THAT makes someone a nice person.

    And I highly doubt every girl your age you've met that you're not attracted to has become attracted to you. Unless you're quite young, in which case ridiculous numbers of hormones make teens sexually attracted to all girls, some guys, and sometimes more than that. But even then. Generalizations will not help you in life.

    Nah, I really do not care if I "limit" myself. I got a dozen of male friends from childhood which I have been friends with 10+ years and they proven to be"real" (standing by you when s*h*i*t hits the fan). I really do not feel that I am missing something out.


    10+ friends from childhood is good, you're set for life. I would definitely recommend you stop seeking friendships. Especially with women.
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
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    There's a difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy. Here's a reformed Nice Guy talking about the difference: http://www.shakesville.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html

    That might be the best thing on the internet. Thanks very much for that.

    This sums it up. Thread closed most everyone agrees lol.
  • timidunicorn
    timidunicorn Posts: 8 Member
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    the friendzone sounds like a cool place, like chuck e. cheese or something.
    i wanna go to the friendzone i dunno what everyone's complaining about.

    but in all seriousness, imo the friendzone is a myth.
    just because you're nice to a girl doesn't mean she owes you anything.
    and frankly that implication is gross all over.
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
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    All the nice guys friend zone me
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I certainly have not trudged through the whole thread but the reality is that studies have shown that women tend to want nice guys as friends and have sex with the jerks they meet. Of course, a lot of "nice guys" who get rejected by women often overlook "nice girls" while they are chasing after a hot piece of *kitten*. In many respects, there is often hypocrisy on both sides of the issue.
    What studies?
  • vuco1990
    vuco1990 Posts: 29 Member
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    Thing is that I can only see girls as a friend that are not appealing to me in physical way, but than what it happens she makes a move on me. Sure, she can be interesting as a person, but if I do not feel sexual attraction that would be just me forcing myself in something I really do not want. I have to put her in "friendzone" and that just makes me feel bad, because she can be a really good friend, but I am not interested in that kind of way. When that did happened a couple of times I just said no to all this ever again.

    Every woman you know has thrown herself at you, huh?

    Not like that. It can start as a friendship, but always it was me liking her ( and not telling her that) or she liking me (and not telling me that) . Either, I want to stay on friendship level or she wants So, I just stopped with that all together. Generally, in area were I live this attitude is not uncommon. Of course I can be friend with some older neighbor women or something like that, but with girls of my age hardly. No, I am not even that good looking for girls to be "throwing them self on me", but I just have different point of view on male-female relationship and it did showed to be truth for me at least.

    Sadly I can certainly imagine that if you live many places in the US your viewpoints are indeed common. I like giving people new perspectives though, especially when the current social perspectives on male-female friendships are downright sexist and deny women any social power outside of sexual relations with men. So my post was food for thought for you! Never too late to try and change society for the better. It changes all the time. This viewpoint helps back a terrible social assumption that the female gender's entire worth to society is only sexual. By doing that you add to the struggles of 51% of the people on earth. Occasionally you'll meet a person you're attracted to, for you they'll likely be female, but treat other women your age the way you would treat men. With respect, as interesting people, who could potentially be your friend, coworker, superior, or anything else. THAT makes someone a nice person.

    And I highly doubt every girl your age you've met that you're not attracted to has become attracted to you. Unless you're quite young, in which case ridiculous numbers of hormones make teens sexually attracted to all girls, some guys, and sometimes more than that. But even then. Generalizations will not help you in life.

    Nah, I really do not care if I "limit" myself. I got a dozen of male friends from childhood which I have been friends with 10+ years and they proven to be"real" (standing by you when s*h*i*t hits the fan). I really do not feel that I am missing something out.


    10+ friends from childhood is good, you're set for life. I would definitely recommend you stop seeking friendships. Especially with women.

    I do not know if you are trying to be sarcastic or something, but I am happy with quality and number of friends I have. Sure, I have a lot more people that I "know", but they are just that, people I know and will say hi when I see them on the streets.
  • jd1208
    jd1208 Posts: 81 Member
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    My bf is a nice guy without a doubt. He said he used to get friendzoned a fair bit, but he didn't mind. I suppose dumb girls friendzone nice guys. Or girls with low self esteem who want to punish themselves.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    My bf is a nice guy without a doubt. He said he used to get friendzoned a fair bit, but he didn't mind. I suppose dumb girls friendzone nice guys. Or girls with low self esteem who want to punish themselves.
    Or girls who just aren't interested in a particular guy?

    I'm not dumb and my self-esteem is fine, but I have several male friends I am not attracted to. Sometimes there isn't chemistry. Being nice doesn't make you physically attractive to someone.
  • DamianaKitten
    DamianaKitten Posts: 479 Member
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    My bf is a nice guy without a doubt. He said he used to get friendzoned a fair bit, but he didn't mind. I suppose dumb girls friendzone nice guys. Or girls with low self esteem who want to punish themselves.
    Or girls who just aren't interested in a particular guy?

    I'm not dumb and my self-esteem is fine, but I have several male friends I am not attracted to. Sometimes there isn't chemistry. Being nice doesn't make you physically attractive to someone.

    ^^ This
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    I can't speak for all women, but I have no time for guys that are NOT "nice guys". I never was attracted to the bad boy thing. If he's a control freak, a jerk, a macho *kitten*, egotistical, thinks he's god's gift to women, or that he can throw around whatever power he has, then for me, he's nothing.
  • jd1208
    jd1208 Posts: 81 Member
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    My bf is a nice guy without a doubt. He said he used to get friendzoned a fair bit, but he didn't mind. I suppose dumb girls friendzone nice guys. Or girls with low self esteem who want to punish themselves.
    Or girls who just aren't interested in a particular guy?

    I'm not dumb and my self-esteem is fine, but I have several male friends I am not attracted to. Sometimes there isn't chemistry. Being nice doesn't make you physically attractive to someone.

    I suppose what I really meant to say was to friend zone a nice guy in favour of an arsehole. I have plenty of nice guy friends and obviously I don't fancy them all.
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
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    I can't speak for all women, but I have no time for guys that are NOT "nice guys". I never was attracted to the bad boy thing. If he's a control freak, a jerk, a macho *kitten*, egotistical, thinks he's god's gift to women, or that he can throw around whatever power he has, then for me, he's nothing.

    ^this exactly