Is it okay to "flaunt"?
Replies
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Holy moly there's some catty people in here. I am incredibly grateful to live in a society where "appropriate" dress is for job interviews and funerals only, and the rest of the time everyone wears what they want no matter what age or weight.
As for age appropriate OP you are only 29 this is young. One day you will be 80. Are you going to look back to this time with a grin because you wore what you wanted and looked smoking, or with regret because you hid your body in case strangers judged you?
Oh, she's only 29. Wow, people! Stop telling the gal to be an old lady! Maybe I should start wearing a shall, orthotic shoes and a bun.
I wore midriffs at 29 and never thought twice about it. I don't now because, like I said, 41. Short shorts? Absolutely. I worked very hard for my legs, and they look perfectly appropriate on me. People are projecting their own insecurities all over the place. Women my age wear shorts here. Most of them wear shorts that are between 3 and 5 inch inseam. Obviously, most of us aren't wearing the butt hugging ones that you buy in the Junior's department, but they're still short. 29 is a tricky age because it's too young to start dressing in tablecloth fabrics, and it's deemed too old to dress in Juniors.0 -
Holy moly there's some catty people in here. I am incredibly grateful to live in a society where "appropriate" dress is for job interviews and funerals only, and the rest of the time everyone wears what they want no matter what age or weight.
As for age appropriate OP you are only 29 this is young. One day you will be 80. Are you going to look back to this time with a grin because you wore what you wanted and looked smoking, or with regret because you hid your body in case strangers judged you?
I'm looking forward turning 80 so I can wear Daisy Dukes and a crop top just to spite the awful people in this thread. Oh yeah, my wrinkly belly will be so glorious and everyone will be able to see it. I probably won't even shave my legs. THE HORROR!
:laugh: :drinker:
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I dont want to sound rude but I think if you feel good and want to show it off than you should. Maybe you could be an inspiration to someone. Talking about all your weight loss around that person bragging and drawing unnecessary attention to yourself is flaunting not putting something on that makes you proud of your accompliments.0
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Clothing is a personal choice of self expression. It is not a mechanism to shame sensitive people for their own insecurities (personal problems). It is not an invitation for flirting or sex if your behaviour and dialog indicates that it not what you want. Period. It's not for your husband or anyone to police. Even if you wanted to be naked, depending on whether or not that's legal in your country/state, that's your choice. It's your body. I don't believe in policing other people's life choices if they don't harm anyone around them. Choosing to be aggressive or violent might interfere with another's safety. Choosing booty shorts? They don't have to look, you aren't harming anyone. If you feel it, flaunt it. If you want to cover up, cover up. It's expressing how you feel in the moment, and it's not like you can't bring layers if you decide you might want to change it up through out the day- on your own terms.0
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If you don't care about what people think about you, you can wear whatever you want.
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Not just yes, but HELL YES. Flaunt away.0
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I always thought the Dukes of Hazzard was a silly show, and I would think it was hysterical, regardless of what you think, I haven't seen women walking around dressed like that for a long, long time, not in my neck of the woods...you don't really get what I would find so funny about it, so I won't bother.Sad and pathetic is, interestingly enough, how I feel about your post. Someone who has to resort to "Well, I'm not the ONLY one who feels this way" as justification for a negative practice or who "laughs outright" at someone for what they wear? Doesn't strike me as a happy and confident person.
Again, I am not the only one who feels this way was about people I personally know, and I heard what other people I personally know say...things like oh, she dresses ridiculous, but she is a really nice person. Not absolutely terrible things, but it definitely affects the way people perceive you.
I don't care what you wear, but she came on here and asked opinions, and I gave an honest one, which you obviously do not like, did I hit a nerve or something?
I am sorry, but as women age they should think about it a little more. It is probable that if you are 30 or 40 something and you are trying to dress like a teenager, it might embarrass your kids, husband, etc., so unless you are single, you should be considerate of how your family feels too. My son would have been mortified if I picked him up at school like that when I was in my 30's.
This woman's husband had class to say something about it. My husband would sure as the sun rises say something to me in a situation like that.
Don't tell me I have to think it is alright, I feel the same way when I see a guy with jeans hanging down past his underwear line, it looks ridiculous.
I assume you likewise won't tell me I have to think what you said is alright and that I'm allowed to think you're ridiculous?
I am actually laughing at her post.
Pointing and laughing.
I'm mostly laughing at the idea of letting my husband have a say in my wardrobe. If he had his way I'd be dressed like a cat girl or like this
All the time.
IN!
Actually, before I leave the house I text my husband a picture, just to make sure that it meets with his approval.
:laugh:
LOLNOWAY0 -
you should be wearing mom jeans.
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He is just being judgemental...meh.I can't believe this hasn't been posted.
And now out, because a subject that leads to women calling other women pathetic is just never my idea of a fun time.
I am just being honest.
If you don't like pathetic, pick another word...how about sad...but I was just being honest about what I think of women I know who are like this, not the op, I said it was what I think of women I know like this...and it is not just me.
About the OP, If I was at a party somewhere and I saw a 30-something woman dressed like Daisy Duke I can tell you exactly what I would do, I would laugh, I would have to turn the other way because I would be laughing too hard to look at her.
That speaks volumes about your personality. Don't get upset though, that's me "just being honest".0 -
I always thought the Dukes of Hazzard was a silly show, and I would think it was hysterical, regardless of what you think, I haven't seen women walking around dressed like that for a long, long time, not in my neck of the woods...you don't really get what I would find so funny about it, so I won't bother.Sad and pathetic is, interestingly enough, how I feel about your post. Someone who has to resort to "Well, I'm not the ONLY one who feels this way" as justification for a negative practice or who "laughs outright" at someone for what they wear? Doesn't strike me as a happy and confident person.
Again, I am not the only one who feels this way was about people I personally know, and I heard what other people I personally know say...things like oh, she dresses ridiculous, but she is a really nice person. Not absolutely terrible things, but it definitely affects the way people perceive you.
I don't care what you wear, but she came on here and asked opinions, and I gave an honest one, which you obviously do not like, did I hit a nerve or something?
I am sorry, but as women age they should think about it a little more. It is probable that if you are 30 or 40 something and you are trying to dress like a teenager, it might embarrass your kids, husband, etc., so unless you are single, you should be considerate of how your family feels too. My son would have been mortified if I picked him up at school like that when I was in my 30's.
This woman's husband had class to say something about it. My husband would sure as the sun rises say something to me in a situation like that.
Don't tell me I have to think it is alright, I feel the same way when I see a guy with jeans hanging down past his underwear line, it looks ridiculous.
I assume you likewise won't tell me I have to think what you said is alright and that I'm allowed to think you're ridiculous?
I am actually laughing at her post.
Pointing and laughing.
I'm mostly laughing at the idea of letting my husband have a say in my wardrobe. If he had his way I'd be dressed like a cat girl or like this
All the time.
IN!
Actually, before I leave the house I text my husband a picture, just to make sure that it meets with his approval.
:laugh:
LOLNOWAY
My face progression over these four short lines:
:happy:
:huh: :noway:
:happy:
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I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.0
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If your fitness and body makes other people who are not as fit as you uncomfortable....I'd venture to say that's actually an issue they need to work through (by getting over it or changing it). I wouldn't wear the outfit you described to my Grandma's bday party, but you and I are the same age and I wouldn't hesitate to wear it to a cookout or something at a friend's house.
If this is actually your husband's way of saying HE is uncomfortable with it, then maybe y'all need to have a talk about that.
Eta: all bets are off in bars. If they'll let you in wearing it, it's appropriate.0 -
I always thought the Dukes of Hazzard was a silly show, and I would think it was hysterical, regardless of what you think, I haven't seen women walking around dressed like that for a long, long time, not in my neck of the woods...you don't really get what I would find so funny about it, so I won't bother.Sad and pathetic is, interestingly enough, how I feel about your post. Someone who has to resort to "Well, I'm not the ONLY one who feels this way" as justification for a negative practice or who "laughs outright" at someone for what they wear? Doesn't strike me as a happy and confident person.
Again, I am not the only one who feels this way was about people I personally know, and I heard what other people I personally know say...things like oh, she dresses ridiculous, but she is a really nice person. Not absolutely terrible things, but it definitely affects the way people perceive you.
I don't care what you wear, but she came on here and asked opinions, and I gave an honest one, which you obviously do not like, did I hit a nerve or something?
I am sorry, but as women age they should think about it a little more. It is probable that if you are 30 or 40 something and you are trying to dress like a teenager, it might embarrass your kids, husband, etc., so unless you are single, you should be considerate of how your family feels too. My son would have been mortified if I picked him up at school like that when I was in my 30's.
This woman's husband had class to say something about it. My husband would sure as the sun rises say something to me in a situation like that.
Don't tell me I have to think it is alright, I feel the same way when I see a guy with jeans hanging down past his underwear line, it looks ridiculous.
I assume you likewise won't tell me I have to think what you said is alright and that I'm allowed to think you're ridiculous?
I am actually laughing at her post.
Pointing and laughing.
I'm mostly laughing at the idea of letting my husband have a say in my wardrobe. If he had his way I'd be dressed like a cat girl or like this
All the time.
IN!
Actually, before I leave the house I text my husband a picture, just to make sure that it meets with his approval.
:laugh:
LOLNOWAY
My face progression over these four short lines:
:happy:
:huh: :noway:
:happy:
HA!
If I REALLY did that, his response would generally be along the lines of "don't ask me about fashion, you know I'm terrible" (he really is) or "is that too big?" which roughly translates to: not tight enough over the *kitten*, or not nearly enough cleavage.
My husband is NOT allowed to dress me.0 -
I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
....
Well. That's alarming.0 -
Okay I will not wear short shorts, because It would expose the stretchmarks on my inner thighs that extend half way to my knee. My husband on the other hand would encourage me to wear them, and tell me how great and sexy they look. He brags about my success with his friends and several of them (both male/female) find me attractive and flirt with me or whatever. Its harmless and I flirt back a bit too, but nothing ever comes of it. My husband does not get jealous ever, and he knows I am his only and would never leave him. So OP to answer your question, "If ya got it flaunt it!" Show off that sexy body and have fun, life is too short not too!0
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I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
....
Well. That's alarming.
What's really alarming is that she apparently sees nothing wrong with it.
I'm beginning to think that I got REALLY lucky with my husband. Imma' go give that man a hug.0 -
I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
....
Well. That's alarming.
On so many levels0 -
I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
....
Well. That's alarming.
What's really alarming is that she apparently sees nothing wrong with it.
I'm beginning to think that I got REALLY lucky with my husband. Imma' go give that man a hug.
With his explicit permission, of course.0 -
I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
....
Well. That's alarming.
What's really alarming is that she apparently sees nothing wrong with it.
I'm beginning to think that I got REALLY lucky with my husband. Imma' go give that man a hug.
With his explicit permission, of course.
Well, duh!0 -
Absolutely flaunt it!0
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I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
....
Well. That's alarming.
Agreed! I'm so glad my boyfriend loves when I dress sexy. My ex was the jealous type and well he's an ex. :laugh:0 -
I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
....
Well. That's alarming.
What's really alarming is that she apparently sees nothing wrong with it.
I'm beginning to think that I got REALLY lucky with my husband. Imma' go give that man a hug.
Indeed I think the husband and his willingness to go outside with me be I in a tshirt and jeans, a crop top and a skirt, or short shorts and a cami have earned some...educational pictures.0 -
Here's something I haven't had to deal with in a long time, but hear me out please..
In high school (late 90's-early 00's for me), I was fit and happy. I wore the 'trendy' styles that I liked such as bare midriffs and daisy dukes and never thought twice about it. I was 5'3" and 118lbs in high school. Currently I'm 5'3" and 100-102lbs.
This weekend proved to have top notch weather, so I went out and bought a pair of short shorts from Target. For the record, these shorts don't show crack or butt, though they are short. I put them on and popped on a top that showed about an inch of midriff. Sadly, this was met with disapproval by my husband. I love my husband and he is a good person with good intentions. The situation was that we were going to go walking downtown and hit up a bar or two with patios. We were then going to go to a party being thrown by a friend of his and that friend's wife. He informed me that he thought it would look like I was 'showing off' and that it could make his friend's wife jealous. That being said, I now feel iffy about what I should or shouldn't wear around people. Does it just come off cocky or rude to dress in a skimpy fashion in the summer months? To be a little more specific.. when dressing that way around friends who may not be in as good of shape as you make you an insensitive jerk?
I'm not trying to throw my husband under the bus or anything. I think he may have a point and I don't want to upset anyone or make them feel less confident. I also want to enjoy my own rediscovered confidence though..
I really don't care what type of clothes you wear, but what concerns me is that you are at least 10 pounds and a little bit underweight if you have a very slight bone structure and about 20 pounds plus if you have an average frame. I am 4'11 " and a tiny git and 100-103 pounds is my ideal weight.0 -
Very interesting thread....a female friend of mine and I have had discussions over this topic on a few occasions. Think I'll share this thread with her.0
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I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
:huh: so much is wrong with this.0 -
I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
Keep looking for Amy, Amy... She's somewhere buried under a tyrannical relationship.0 -
I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
I see where you're coming from but you still need to be your own person. For example, I have been showing off my belly ever since I was confident enough to do it. I first started out only wearing a sports bra to my Zumba classes then I started going shopping for crop tops because of my confidence and fashion trends. My bf and I have been dating for 8 months and recently I started to pull out my summer clothes. At first he didn't feel comfortable with me wearing them then I told him I do. If people stare or guys look that's on them, I do not react to it. I don't like it when people stare and think "she's hot" because I want someone to respect me for who I am as a person rather than I look. I just told him to trust me and that everything will be fine. So far we are doing good, and he likes the way I look. lol I always bring a small jacket with me as well in case I get cold or in case I am in a setting where it is inappropriate to wear those clothes. Like in case we go to dinner and I'll put a jacket on in respect of the children around and stuff depending on how short my shirt is. I say it's all about being confident in yourself and knowing your boundaries on wearing those kind of clothes. You wouldn't obviously wear them to work.0 -
I love that last outfit!
My own personal opinion - unless you are in high school nix the crop top and super short shorts. It's great that you are confident enough to flaunt your body, but your husband is obviously not comfortable with it for whatever reason.
The rule I live by is to either flaunt the top half or the bottom half but never both at the same time. So if you want to wear the short shorts, wear a nice top that doesn't show too much cleavage or midriff, paired with a pair of super high heels. If you want to show cleavage then wear jeans or tailored pants. You can still flaunt your hot bod without showing too much skin, and IMO way sexier and classier.
And you know that if you show up to their house wearing barely anything your husband's friend is going to be imagining you and his wife pillow fighting nekkid or something. Do you really want that?
Edit: I wish I still had the legs to wear short shorts :sad:0 -
I don't know about it being "cocky" but the word inappropriate does come to mind. Save it for the beach or a walk at the park or around your house. A husband wants a lady he can show off. Other men have no problem checking women out even if they are right next to their husbands so it is best to not put him in that situation. As far as being around other women, if they aren't dressed down that way then it isn't really the place. I know your dilemma, when I lost weight before and could pull of the belly top I wanted to show it off everywhere I went. My husband hated it and I heard about it every chance he got. Even now, I get told to "dress down" so I don't cause too much attention. I only wear t shirt and jeans but apparently "too many men check me out". I am going to guess you are in your early to mid thirties around about so yeah, it sucks but midriff tops are not okay in most situations. Hey at least you can pull it off, good for you.
Just break up.0 -
Not wearing shorts to prevent others from feeling bad about themselves is like cutting your long hair off in case someone with short hair gets offended. Do what you want and don't worry about how others feel about the way you look. It's your body, don't cover yourself up. If other people are really that easily offended by your body, they can go blog about it. Not your problem.
Exactly how I feel about it.
If you genuinely don't want to "offend" anyone with your body (which you worked hard for and should enjoy!) then sure, wear something to please others.
But personally, I stopped caring about what others think I should wear in my teens and it hasn't changed since.
It's your life, your body. it comes down to whether you care about what others think or not in terms of your appearance, husband included.
Either way, well done on reaching a healthy goal and enjoy that longer healthier life. =]0
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