A question for dads in the dating world

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  • IPAkiller
    IPAkiller Posts: 711 Member
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    Hello wonderful fathers of the world, I have a question for you!
    The Facts:
    Come Father's Day this year, my boyfriend will have been together just shy of a year,
    He's 38 and has the most beautiful 8 year old girl,
    I'm 22 and have no children,
    Though we plan on building a life together, we never plan on having kids together - I don't want kids, and he doesn't want any more,
    We finally decided about a month ago that it was time for me to meet his little one, and her and I are getting to know each other,
    I think my boyfriend is an amazing, committed, loving father - honestly one of the best dads I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
    Alright - the question:
    Is it appropriate to get him a gift for Fathers Day?
    If I do, I was thinking of getting him something he could do with his daughter - gift cards for them to go to the movies and get ice cream, or something of that nature. Your thoughts?
    I'm a single father and it's completely acceptable to get a little gift. It's also very sweet for you to give a gift "they" can use, while you respect the boundaries of the "Father/Daughter" relationship. If they feel it's time to include you, he will likely invite you. If not, it's cool, give it time. By the time it will be acceptable for you to do things as a "family", you won’t have to ask what is and isn't appropriate anymore. It will just be.
    Good luck
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    am i the only person who thinks it's a tad bizarre that a 37 year old man got into a relationship with a 21 year old girl?

    Seems like she's far more mature than some older people posting in the thread.

    qft
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    The number of people projecting their own shade of crazy on this woman is astounding.



    jurassic-park-o.gif
    yep
  • BattleTaxi
    BattleTaxi Posts: 752 Member
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    am i the only person who thinks it's a tad bizarre that a 37 year old man got into a relationship with a 21 year old girl?

    Seems like she's far more mature than some older people posting in the thread.

    Seconded.


    Also this thread once again proves there is no topic a woman does not feel qualified to give her advice on.

    "Hi, I have a question for dads who are dating.."

    "Well I'm a single, childless female, let me tell you what I think."

    QFT
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,068 Member
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    lol going out saying im not a nice person is VERY far fetched.. you also do not know me... you do not know what i have accomplished in life. you do not know how many good-or bad deeds i have done... i do know.. that this 38 year old man is with a 22 year old who has no kids.. no experience to relate to... no experience to even handle this situation. she might have had brothers or sisters but that is no where the same... as raising a child.. taking in a child as your own... i am looking at this from the opposite perspective. the side that no one is looking at... so if im wrong for pointing out a side that no one likes to see than i don't see how its my problem... because its true... i may have put it harshly... but i am not the first one who thought this... im just the first one who said something..
    how do you know if she has no experience? maybe she has neices or nephews, she couldve worked with children before. there are alot of people who have children much earlier than 22, i think she'l be just fine.
    you say we no nothing of you, but you know nothing about the billions of men in this world. shut your mouth before you embarrass yourself even more, your clearly just pissed off at your own childs father, which sucks, but its the fault of him, not every other guy in the world or this one girl, who judging by this post is a very considerate person. the same cannot be said about you
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    User deactivated - Astonishing.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Hello wonderful fathers of the world, I have a question for you!
    The Facts:
    Come Father's Day this year, my boyfriend will have been together just shy of a year,
    He's 38 and has the most beautiful 8 year old girl,
    I'm 22 and have no children,
    Though we plan on building a life together, we never plan on having kids together - I don't want kids, and he doesn't want any more,
    We finally decided about a month ago that it was time for me to meet his little one, and her and I are getting to know each other,
    I think my boyfriend is an amazing, committed, loving father - honestly one of the best dads I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
    Alright - the question:
    Is it appropriate to get him a gift for Fathers Day?
    If I do, I was thinking of getting him something he could do with his daughter - gift cards for them to go to the movies and get ice cream, or something of that nature. Your thoughts?
    I'm a single father and it's completely acceptable to get a little gift. It's also very sweet for you to give a gift "they" can use, while you respect the boundaries of the "Father/Daughter" relationship. If they feel it's time to include you, he will likely invite you. If not, it's cool, give it time. By the time it will be acceptable for you to do things as a "family", you won’t have to ask what is and isn't appropriate anymore. It will just be.
    Good luck

    Just tell me what you want already :wink:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    User deactivated - Astonishing.
    That makes me kind of sad. This was entertaining.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Hello wonderful fathers of the world, I have a question for you!
    The Facts:
    Come Father's Day this year, my boyfriend will have been together just shy of a year,
    He's 38 and has the most beautiful 8 year old girl,
    I'm 22 and have no children,
    Though we plan on building a life together, we never plan on having kids together - I don't want kids, and he doesn't want any more,
    We finally decided about a month ago that it was time for me to meet his little one, and her and I are getting to know each other,
    I think my boyfriend is an amazing, committed, loving father - honestly one of the best dads I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
    Alright - the question:
    Is it appropriate to get him a gift for Fathers Day?
    If I do, I was thinking of getting him something he could do with his daughter - gift cards for them to go to the movies and get ice cream, or something of that nature. Your thoughts?
    I'm a single father and it's completely acceptable to get a little gift. It's also very sweet for you to give a gift "they" can use, while you respect the boundaries of the "Father/Daughter" relationship. If they feel it's time to include you, he will likely invite you. If not, it's cool, give it time. By the time it will be acceptable for you to do things as a "family", you won’t have to ask what is and isn't appropriate anymore. It will just be.
    Good luck

    Just tell me what you want already :wink:
    He posted it on your wall ...
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    Hello wonderful fathers of the world, I have a question for you!
    The Facts:
    Come Father's Day this year, my boyfriend will have been together just shy of a year,
    He's 38 and has the most beautiful 8 year old girl,
    I'm 22 and have no children,
    Though we plan on building a life together, we never plan on having kids together - I don't want kids, and he doesn't want any more,
    We finally decided about a month ago that it was time for me to meet his little one, and her and I are getting to know each other,
    I think my boyfriend is an amazing, committed, loving father - honestly one of the best dads I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
    Alright - the question:
    Is it appropriate to get him a gift for Fathers Day?
    If I do, I was thinking of getting him something he could do with his daughter - gift cards for them to go to the movies and get ice cream, or something of that nature. Your thoughts?
    I'm a single father and it's completely acceptable to get a little gift. It's also very sweet for you to give a gift "they" can use, while you respect the boundaries of the "Father/Daughter" relationship. If they feel it's time to include you, he will likely invite you. If not, it's cool, give it time. By the time it will be acceptable for you to do things as a "family", you won’t have to ask what is and isn't appropriate anymore. It will just be.
    Good luck

    Just tell me what you want already :wink:
    He posted it on your wall ...

    *snicker* True story.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    Wow. That's some serious man-hating. I've been with my wife for 16+ years. She's blessed me with three beautiful children and I will spend my entire life making her happy. I'm sorry this world has jaded your opinions on relationships.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,642 Member
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    Since I'm a nerd and in safety in my company, I must say that some people on this thread and in life need to have better procedures in place for their permit required confined space entry...
  • anj1030
    anj1030 Posts: 153 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...


    I really debated on commenting...like for hours now...but I can't shuddup now that I've seen this.

    I'm a girlfriend to a guy who has two amazing sons. And yes, although he is rare...he wants nothing more than to be with his children EVERY SINGLE DAY, but his exes literally will email him the court documents when he requests to pick them up an hour earlier than the time allotted...or asks if he can have them on a night that he is not scheduled to do so. Please do not stereotype all men that they have it "easy". His ex wife uses his children as pawns, and literally, as a paycheck. Will give the boys "messages" to their father that he is a "POS" Thank GOD the youngest doesn't know what that means.

    This is absolutely revolting...as is your statement that because she is so young...she is a gold-digger. I too was classified as such...and I'm 34 and he's 42. I am not a gold-digger...I was just really lucky to find a MATURE ADULT MAN that takes responsibility for his actions (in caring for his children financially, emotionally, and physically) as opposed to my ex-boyfriend who hasn't spoken to his son in three months, and hasn't seen him since last summer. NOT ALL MEN/PEOPLE ARE THE SAME. I would recommend you find yourself a little support for your anger and hostility towards human beings that you do not know. For all you know, this young lady is far more mature than her age may state...she may have experienced more in her short life, than you have in your LONG life. Do not judge a person before you walk a mile in their shoes.

    I'm very VERY sorry if I have offended anyone with this post...I'm not one for confrontation...but this one hit a little to close to home today. :flowerforyou:
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
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    I'm not touching all the drama in this but as everyone intelligently already said a gift for the daughter and father to enjoy would be best. If you and the daughter are just starting to bond it may be a good opportunity to help. I like the idea of movie tickets/treats another idea would be Putt Putt. I would also have the daughter pick out/make a card.

    Edit just grrr: I've spent more money/time in divorce fees/lawyers to fight for custody of my son. I don't think men get it easy at all at least not the ones that try and stay in their child's life.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    Last year I bought my boyfriend a Father's day present. He is NOT the father of my children, but he is the father of 2 children that he adores and that he is an amazing father to. I respect this highly, especially because MY children's father is a "barely there" Dad. I celebrate all Father's who are actively involved in their children's lives.

    I bought him things he could do with his kids. Gift cards for the movies, DQ, restaurants. I wrote him a letter in a card, then I also bought him things that he enjoyed for himself, to celebrate him as both a father for the kids, and an amazing man turned father.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I am not a dad. Nor am I in the dating world. Therefore I will refrain from answering. Plus odus pretty much already said it all, and does have nice jugs.

    OP! Duck!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I am not a dad. Nor am I in the dating world. Therefore I will refrain from answering. Plus odus pretty much already said it all, and does have nice jugs.

    OP! Duck!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    *blushing*


    Well thanks! They may be lopsided, but that's just extra personality :) They like to keep it interesting.
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
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    lol going out saying im not a nice person is VERY far fetched.. you also do not know me... you do not know what i have accomplished in life. you do not know how many good-or bad deeds i have done... i do know.. that this 38 year old man is with a 22 year old who has no kids.. no experience to relate to... no experience to even handle this situation. she might have had brothers or sisters but that is no where the same... as raising a child.. taking in a child as your own... i am looking at this from the opposite perspective. the side that no one is looking at... so if im wrong for pointing out a side that no one likes to see than i don't see how its my problem... because its true... i may have put it harshly... but i am not the first one who thought this... im just the first one who said something..

    Hi there, I really see where you're coming from. It's something I've considered long and hard before even deciding to enter into a relationship with my boyfriend. It's a big age gap, certainly. And I do feel for his ex. No, under no circumstance did he leave her for me. I didn't even meet him until after their relationship had ended. But even still, I'm sure, though I can't fully understand, that it must be hard on his ex to see us together. All I can do is show her as much respect as possible, accept her role in his life, and continue to think the world of them for getting along so well to raise their daughter as a united front - I honestly think the world of both of them in this regard. Without spouting a sob story, I've been supporting myself since I was 14, raised my little sister (yes, bought her groceries, clothes, school supplies, did her homework with her) I know she's not my daughter, but I, by far, had the biggest hand in raising her, as well as taking care of myself.My boyfriend and I just work together - though the age gap may make that hard to believe. We share a lot of the same interest, and indulge each other in the interests we don't share. We have very similar communication styles, and want the same things out of life. I can't make myself older, or him younger, nor would I want to. We love each other for being exactly who we are. I've come to accept the looks some people shoot me in public for holding his hand, it's just going to be part of life. As long as we all value his and his ex's daughter's quality of life, I'm sure we can maintain a happy, healthy, loving household where we can all feel comfortable. Ultimately, I want to say that I see where you're coming from. I do. But my boyfriend is an amazing dad (has his daughter four nights a week, so more than half the time) is super involved in her life. He would never abandon her to run away with some vapid, barely legal kid.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    What's the matter with a weird fetish thing?????

    Funny enough, that was my first thought when I read this post.

    Oh, and IN because I smelled something crazy.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...


    Between the crazy, the grammar, and punctuation: dear god I can't even think.
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