How to tell vegan friends to back off?!

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gajidas85
gajidas85 Posts: 10 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I get it family and friends who are vegan have their views but they always try to push it on me or others, it's like solicitors that come door to door trying to get you to take their pamphlets or switch to their internet provider. I respect their choice and so make sure to include meals they can eat during a get together. But I don't push them to eat animal products.

And I've already heard "well if you tried it you'll like it or feel better". Yeah I was vegan for over a year before but it wasn't for me. At the time I was rowing and competing in regattas which meant I was training in the gym 5 days and on the water 4 days of the week. Perhaps it was the timing but I could never get enough calories or protein from alternative sources. I felt weaker and was always tired.

I already don't eat most dairy products and during the week include vegan meals but I just like meat.

Simply saying "no thank you" or even explaining what I just did here doesn't seem to work. Anyone else experience this? What do you do?
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Replies

  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
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    I get it family and friends who are vegan have their views but they always try to push it on me or others, it's like solicitors that come door to door trying to get you to take their pamphlets or switch to their internet provider. I respect their choice and so make sure to include meals they can eat during a get together. But I don't push them to eat animal products.

    And I've already heard "well if you tried it you'll like it or feel better". Yeah I was vegan for over a year before but it wasn't for me. At the time I was rowing and competing in regattas which meant I was training in the gym 5 days and on the water 4 days of the week. Perhaps it was the timing but I could never get enough calories or protein from alternative sources. I felt weaker and was always tired.

    I already don't eat most dairy products and during the week include vegan meals but I just like meat.

    Simply saying "no thank you" or even explaining what I just did here doesn't seem to work. Anyone else experience this? What do you do?

    Carry cubed chunks of chicken in your pocket at all times and whenever one of them approaches you to advise you about how you should adopt their specific eating habits just calmly reach into your pocket, retrieve the cubed meat and while listening to them begin to throw the meat at them until they stop. Guaranteed to work.

    Now if in addition you want to keep these friends you could alternatively just ask them to stop doing that in a much more assertive and directed manner rather than "oh....no thank you" which is rather passive.
  • andylowry
    andylowry Posts: 89
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    I've found that a shotgun usually works.
  • rosehips60
    rosehips60 Posts: 1,030 Member
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    "No other animal drinks milk into adulthood!"


    "That's because no other animal is smart enough to figure out how to milk a cow."
    lol
  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    "No other animal drinks milk into adulthood!"


    "That's because no other animal is smart enough to figure out how to milk a cow."
    lol

    Actually a surprisingly solid argument lol. I haven't had this, but I assume loud cursing may be more effective. Sometimes people don't respond to simple manners.
  • PriscillaLaine
    PriscillaLaine Posts: 124 Member
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    Carry cubed chunks of chicken in your pocket at all times and whenever one of them approaches you to advise you about how you should adopt their specific eating habits just calmly reach into your pocket, retrieve the cubed meat and while listening to them begin to throw the meat at them until they stop. Guaranteed to work.

    Although I know (hope) this was a joke, as a vegan I've had a friend smoosh a ham sandwich in my face, I was utterly appalled. (I'm not one for forcing my views down people's throats either, he just thought it would be hilarious. apparently everyone else there thought it was as well.)

    You could consider saying something along the lines of although you appreciate their view on the matter, after being vegan yourself, you found the life style not best suited to your needs, and you find their constant pushing a strain on your relationship with them.
  • lisaabenjamin
    lisaabenjamin Posts: 665 Member
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    If we weren't meant to eat meat, we wouldn't have omnivorous teeth. Screw em, they're entitled to an opinion, but so are you. Vegan food can actually be really yummy, and I could even be vegetarian (though I love fish and lamb too much!) but it's the lack of dairy....ugh I LOVE cheese. And EGSS! I'm sure it is possible to be a healthy vegan, but I have never seen one!
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
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    Tell them to back off. Also humans are omnivores, they are biologically designed to eat meat....we even have extra organs left over from when we ate raw meat. You could also look up protein deficiency and tell them about all of the awful symptoms. Personally I would stick with "I didn't ask and I have made an informed decision for myself" if they can't respect that, it may be time for new "friends" that respect your right to have your own opinions.
  • gajidas85
    gajidas85 Posts: 10 Member
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    "No" or even "no thank you" should be enough but the problem is a lot of folks can't take no for an answer. No means convince me? I don't think so.

    Being polite isn't being passive. In my case it means not going instant rage because anger (thanks "mom").

    I understand if the cousin's insistence comes from concern of a history of diabetes and heavy family members.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
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    "No" or even "no thank you" should be enough but the problem is a lot of folks can't take no for an answer. No means convince me? I don't think so.

    Being polite isn't being passive. In my case it means not going instant rage because anger (thanks "mom").

    I understand if the cousin's insistence comes from concern of a history of diabetes and heavy family members.

    Sometimes politeness doesn't get the strength of your desire for them to stop across as you seem to be experiencing. If you want them to stop I would drop the "thank you" and just tell them no and tell them very directly why you don't want to hear it anymore. Clearly "no thank you" hasn't worked yet so not sure why it would start to work now.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
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    Carry cubed chunks of chicken in your pocket at all times and whenever one of them approaches you to advise you about how you should adopt their specific eating habits just calmly reach into your pocket, retrieve the cubed meat and while listening to them begin to throw the meat at them until they stop. Guaranteed to work.

    Although I know (hope) this was a joke, as a vegan I've had a friend smoosh a ham sandwich in my face, I was utterly appalled. (I'm not one for forcing my views down people's throats either, he just thought it would be hilarious. apparently everyone else there thought it was as well.)

    You could consider saying something along the lines of although you appreciate their view on the matter, after being vegan yourself, you found the life style not best suited to your needs, and you find their constant pushing a strain on your relationship with them.

    Yes I was joking I don't think she should throw meat products at her friends. I do think however people who find passion and conviction based simply on what they choose to eat need to lighten up a bit.
  • weird_me2
    weird_me2 Posts: 716 Member
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    If the polite responses don't work, try some reverse propaganda. Start going on and on about how good meat is for you and why they should eat it and how delicious your steak was the other night with the blood dripping from it and wait for them to ask you to stop. When they do, point out that you would like the same respect. I've found that this technique usually works with the hard headed when nothing else does.
  • ravenmiss
    ravenmiss Posts: 384 Member
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    This isn't to do with them being vegan it's about being stubborn and disrespectful.

    If being polite isn't working then it's time to evaluate who you have in your life. If it's family you can't get away from then a firm "leave me alone!" may suffice.

    They're not respecting your choices, so don't accept their actions and very strongly tell them to stop.
  • LadyGhostDuchess
    LadyGhostDuchess Posts: 894 Member
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    I have a friend that is doing that to me too, but it is for another thing. I just ignore it - or as much as I can
  • AwesomeGuy37
    AwesomeGuy37 Posts: 436 Member
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    I've always wondered what the family of these people have to put up with. I would agree with the shotgun comment.
  • PennyVonDread
    PennyVonDread Posts: 432 Member
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    All relationships, of any kind, need to discuss boundaries and consent to remain mutually respectful and supportive. It's okay to agree to disagree and set some topics as off-limits, or change your hangout activities to be less food-centric. Tell them straight up where you draw the line, and that if your companionship matters, that they need to respect your agency over your body and what you use to fuel it.

    But if you are hanging out with people who can't, and I mean CANNOT accept you as you are, then you may need to reconsider those friendships. Toxic friends are not good for personal growth, happiness, or progress.
  • Bernadette60614
    Bernadette60614 Posts: 707 Member
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    You mentioned that they say: You'll feel better. Are you perhaps giving them some indication that you are not feeling well?

    I'm a vegan and I have the same problem with my nonvegan friends. I've simply said: We'll have to agree to disagree. Let's talk about something else...

    I think people mean well, so if they are responding to your comments about health, you can take it as a sign of concern.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
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    On a side note I can understand being vegan for some ethical or moral reasons with regards to the treatment of animals (not my bag but I can understand it). If you are vegan for health reasons though I think you are pretty misguided.
  • Rose6300
    Rose6300 Posts: 232 Member
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    Adults have the right to make their own choices.

    Actually, I think this would be a perfect response. Repeated as many times as necessary, in a bland repetitive tone. At some point, it will hopefully sink in that they're being rude. And even if it doesn't, you'll deaden your own emotional response to their intrusive behavior.
  • becki1815
    becki1815 Posts: 51 Member
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    I'd carry a no-soliciting sign in my pocket and pull it out when they get going. They'll get the picture. Tell them they're being pushy, I wouldn't worry about being rude since apparently they don't worry about it.

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