Chivalry is dead?

Options
1…5681011…17

Replies

  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,404 Member
    Options
    Manners are the grease of society - helps people not rub others the wrong way. It says, "i don't know you, but I respect you, bacause you are a fellow member of society." Or something like that. :happy:
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
    Options
    It does seem that people are less and less 'outwardly' nice, fewer 'thank you's and 'sir's.

    By most quantitative metrics, however, we are more genuinely nice. Violent crime is lower in most countries than in the past, warfare is less widespread than ever before in our history as a species and confrontation in general is less and less socially acceptable.

    All in all, it seems like a good trade-off.

    As for chivalry in the knightly/medieval sense of the term, I have argued before that its modern descendant is the Geneva Convention.
  • TNStuart
    TNStuart Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    I say "No Sir" to my dog... I don't think I could date someone who didn't let me open there door.
  • Beautiful_disaster40
    Beautiful_disaster40 Posts: 154
    Options
    It's sad, I was raised by a real man and its shocking that so many men are just downright rude and disrespectful, inconsiderate and generally just weak human beings ( women too) but I know there's still good guys out there. Just have to focus on that and try to raise my boys to be good men.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,520 Member
    Options
    My kids have impeccable manners around other adults and strangers. They smart-mouth me all of the time at home. Sigh...at least other people think I am a good parent.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Options
    I hold doors for people. If I ever need to take an elevator, I always look around and hold it for people approaching, especially if they need it for physical reasons. I offer my seat to others on the train. I say thank you.
  • sixout
    sixout Posts: 3,128 Member
    Options
    One time dude held a door open for me. His girlfriend went crazy, saying "I'm gettin' real tired of yo ole friendly *kitten*!"
  • nancy10272004
    nancy10272004 Posts: 277 Member
    Options
    Confession: I didn't read all the replies so this has probably been covered.

    Can someone tell me why I need special help opening a door just because I'm a woman?

    The whole 'woman" part of chivalry should be dead. It's 2014, not 1414.
  • sixout
    sixout Posts: 3,128 Member
    Options
    Confession: I didn't read all the replies so this has probably been covered.

    Can someone tell me why I need special help opening a door just because I'm a woman?

    The whole 'woman" part of chivalry should be dead. It's 2014, not 1414.

    it's not about need. it's about the whole "do something to make their life easier, even if it's a tiny gesture such as opening a door."

    people thinking it's a knock on women are the reason that others stopped doing it. so stop complaining and learn to enjoy the little things in life.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    Options
    Confession: I didn't read all the replies so this has probably been covered.

    Can someone tell me why I need special help opening a door just because I'm a woman?

    The whole 'woman" part of chivalry should be dead. It's 2014, not 1414.

    Who says anyone needs help? I hold doors open all the time, not because I think that person is incapable, but because the door is in my hand and it doesn't hurt me to be kind.

    I do have to say, if someone ever smarted off to me about it, I would drop the door like a hot cake, even if it hits the person.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
    Options
    Hmm. I tok my kids to Chick-fil-a last night. Hope it wasn't their bad behavior you area speaking of.

    I grew up in the Northeast (New York/New Jersey) and while I don't think we had poor manners, I don't remember ever hearing kids say "yes m'am" or "no sir". But now that I live in the South (and in an area with a large military presence) I hear that all the time from children the age of my own boys. So while my kids do know to say please and thank you, and generally have good manners, the whole sir and m'am thing just feels unnatural to me...as does referring to adults as "Miss" or "Mister" Firstname.

    I'm from the South (Louisiana) and now live in the Northeast (Buffalo). I refer to most strangers as ma'am/sir. 18yo kid asking me if I want him to double bag the heavy items, "Yes sir, thank you". The 20yo waitress asking me if I want a refill of my drink, "No thank you, ma'am". I get a lot of strange looks up here for sure, but none as strange as the driver waiting to get out in traffic and I leave space between me and the car in front of me.....that person looks at me like I just sneezed on him. :laugh: It's a Southern thing for sure.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
    Options
    Confession: I didn't read all the replies so this has probably been covered.

    Can someone tell me why I need special help opening a door just because I'm a woman?

    The whole 'woman" part of chivalry should be dead. It's 2014, not 1414.

    Who says I'm "helping" you? I hold the door open for men and women because it's courteous. If you feel less empowered or something because someone is being nice to you, you're doing it wrong.
  • 1HappyRedhead
    1HappyRedhead Posts: 413 Member
    Options
    We live in a world where kindness and manners are so scarce, it is often confused with bad intentions. This is sad...

    Raised a southern gentleman. It was expected that you use good manners. If not discipline was handed out as a matter of fact. Whether it was from our family or another adult. You were taught respect and courtesy. From the time I could use my body weight and hold open a door it was expected. As was taking care of any younger than you, looking out for them, and teaching them the same. One thing I remember in particular was all of the adults that passed through the door I held praised me in some way. When someone is praised or given attention for doing something it reinforces that trait. Be it positive or negative. Attention is attention.

    I have not only noticed but also been quite put off by the lack of kindness and almost constant confusion about being courteous. People being angered you opened a door for them as if they are too weak or incapable of doing so. Opening a door for a family and getting the creeper stare as if you will kidnap the children and assault the women. Also the lack of the use of 'thank you' going around. Some do not even give you the courtesy of eye contact. You open the door, smile, and they parade through avoiding all eye contact without even a thank you. These are usually the same one who let the door fall on everyone else.

    Yes, it irks me. When I do see someone being courteous and using manners I go out of my way. I especially love to see how it throws many of the younger crowd when you give them respect and praise where they deserve it. Many are not used to it. Want to see a young man puff up and a young lady preen. Praise them. Thank them. It makes a world of difference.


    THIS^

    Common courtesy and common sense are misnomers.... neither are common anymore!

    I'm from TN, but lived in AZ for several years and can tell you that yes, generally speaking, there is a difference in regional manners as well. NOT to say that they're aren't polite and rude people everywhere, but just as a whole, noticably different.

    I'm proud to say that I received an email today praising my son for his manners (he's 24) and telling me how proud I should be of him, which needless to say, I am! :happy:
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Options
    It's easy to teach men to be chivarous. Just stand at the door and smile sweetly. Try it, it works.

    oh no.
    Please don't tell me you do this.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Options
    Confession: I didn't read all the replies so this has probably been covered.

    Can someone tell me why I need special help opening a door just because I'm a woman?

    The whole 'woman" part of chivalry should be dead. It's 2014, not 1414.

    If I arrive at the door first, I am going to open it and step aside. For you or anyone alse. Man or Woman. I'm sorry that you might take offense to a polite gesture.

    Yes, I was a Marine too, but those manners were instilled in me by my Father. He did not sit me down and teach me these things. I had them demonstrated to me by the way he treated my Mother, Sisters and those he came in contact with. He was also a Marine, but he learned from his Father, as well.

    At 59, I don't think I am going to change, nor do I want to. I treat my wife and daughters in the same manner and, I hope, they expect it from the gentlemen that enter their lives.

    I don't consider chivalry to be a sexist act.

    By the way, if I open the door for you, you have two choices. Step through it or bypass it, because I'll stand there with the door in my hand for as long as it takes.

    It is 2014 and not 1414. You should be glad. In 1414, a woman wasn't considered much more than property.
  • Derp_Diggler
    Derp_Diggler Posts: 1,456 Member
    Options
    Confession: I didn't read all the replies so this has probably been covered.

    Can someone tell me why I need special help opening a door just because I'm a woman?

    The whole 'woman" part of chivalry should be dead. It's 2014, not 1414.

    I don't hold the door for you because you need my help. I do it to get a better look at your *kitten*.
  • RushBabe_214
    RushBabe_214 Posts: 115
    Options
    Confession: I didn't read all the replies so this has probably been covered.

    Can someone tell me why I need special help opening a door just because I'm a woman?

    The whole 'woman" part of chivalry should be dead. It's 2014, not 1414.

    I don't hold the door for you because you need my help. I do it to get a better look at your *kitten*.

    Love this answer!
  • sixout
    sixout Posts: 3,128 Member
    Options
    It's easy to teach men to be chivarous. Just stand at the door and smile sweetly. Try it, it works.

    oh no.
    Please don't tell me you do this.

    yea, that just screams "I'm probably going to murder you later!"
  • 1HappyRedhead
    1HappyRedhead Posts: 413 Member
    Options
    Confession: I didn't read all the replies so this has probably been covered.

    Can someone tell me why I need special help opening a door just because I'm a woman?

    The whole 'woman" part of chivalry should be dead. It's 2014, not 1414.

    I don't hold the door for you because you need my help. I do it to get a better look at your *kitten*.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • EddieHaskell97
    EddieHaskell97 Posts: 2,227 Member
    Options
    do-the-evolution-laughing-skeleton-pilot.gif

    Damn right it's dead. Now get in the kitchen and make me some pie!

Categories