Can a Fit, Sexy Girl Like a Fat Guy?

As an overweight guy I can tell you I have never had an issue getting attractive women and I would say its 90% confidence. I talk to all people as if they are normal human beings I don't see anyone as better or worse than anyone else until they prove to me they are. I would probably not date an overweight gal despite being obese myself and many would view this as shallow but quite honestly its only shallow if you would say/think "I wont be friends with you because you are fat". You cannot help what you are attracted to best example of this is one of my best looking male friends who also has a great personality is only attracted to fatties he does the typical male thing of commenting on hot gals etc but when it comes down to it he only ends up dating overweight gals because its what he ultimately sees as attractive which of course isnt socially acceptable so he is slightly conflicted about it. My fiance is about 100lbs and I am 320lbs, I know she is super super happy with being with me. I think overall girls have an easier time of overlooking physical appearance and are willing to give anyone a fair shake and would rather be with someone who treats them right than someone who is only good looking. And as we all know if someone has only been good looking their entire life their personality probably sucks as they have never needed to develop it.

Also for all you overweight guys that want a hot gal here is a big tip for you.. if a girl is super hot guys will never approach her because they don't think they have a chance so why bother. So if you walk up and talk to her she will be so thrilled that anyone wanted to start a conversation with her that's not a total ****head she will be totally into having a conversation.

Edit: One more thing I thought of after posting this is that while my fiance finds me attractive as have many women who know ME they still find the muscular type guy sexy.. keep in mind sexy and attractive are two different things. If I was to post an ad on Craiglist NSA section titled "Overweight guy with great personality looking for NSA sex" i doubt id get to many responses as someone who just wants sex is looking for sexy not attractive.

YES. My husband and I have had some rough patches along the way, one of which was because we needed help to get pregnant. I remember reading a book that talked about the idea that my husband didn't marry me based on whether or not I could have children - on whether or not my reproductive parts worked. There was more that went into the equation than that.

Just like being fat. That's not the only part other people (who are worth being around) see. Intelligence, confidence, generousity, kindness, sensitivity, having courage, being brave, the way you approach issues that arise - it all plays a part.

I won't date someone if I'm not physically attracted to them, no matter how great their personality is. My boyfriend has an amazing body that he works hard on and that's an attractive quality to me.

But some women like chub, just like some men like big women. Everyone has different preferences.

I know for a fact that it is possible for an overweight guy to date a woman who is physically fit. Of women I have dated over the years the vast majority have been very attractive (not just to me; which they were), physically fit, and very desirable to others.

I think the secret to heavier men attracting beautiful woman is a combination of things.

1.) Dress with confidence: I think the mistake that most guys my size is that they try to hide themselves in big baggy clothing that doesn’t appear attractive on anyone. I’m not saying wear skin tight clothing, nobody wins when we do that kind of thing, but wear clothes that actually fit. Over the years I found that when I go on a first date dressing more ‘business casual’ works best for me. I can wear a blazer or a jacket and it helps draw attention away from my stomach.

2.) Have something to say and listen to what she says: If you are just going to sit there and be silent then that is going to lead to the most awkward date in the world. Not to mention she is not going to find out either how funny you are, or at least think you are in your own mind. She is not going to enjoy herself; which I think is the key to getting the second date.

3.) Just be yourself: Don’t try to be somebody your not. If you are ‘nerdy guy’ its ok to be a ‘nerdy guy’. I know for a fact that I am a nerdy guy. I play the cello, I like science fiction movies, and I am a complete and total bibliophile ( It is rare that I don’t have some kind of book I am working on). Knowing this about myself I don’t hide the fact that I like to do these things. While I am try not to come off as the creepy guy living in his parents basement. I still own my nerdy identity. Humor is a great way to break the ice on a date, and I don’t generally mean self-deprecating humor. Just be relaxed and if yourself it will work out.

4.) Be confident in your place at the table: I think the mistake most guys make is that we try to figure out exactly why she said ‘yes’ when she could have said ‘no’. The fact is that she did say ‘yes’ just accept that you are in fact good enough, and stop over analyzing why she is there with you. If you just enjoy the moment things will work out much better for you.

5.) Finally don’t be a pushover: You matter and just because she is beautiful doesn’t mean she can walk all over you. Personally, that is the mistake that I think most of us bigger guys make is that we finally get the “hot girlfriend” and we are so excited that we don’t want to ruin it, and will allow her to get away with absolute murder. Trust me I went through this phase, and it took me awhile to finally figure it out. If I got one “hot girlfriend” I can most definitely get another. I think if you live by the words “…do onto others as you would have them do onto you”. You are more likely to enjoy dating, and hopefully find someone to be your ‘partner-in-crime’.

Oh and by the way for those who automatically assume overweight guys aren’t physically active. You can be overweight and still active. I am currently overweight, but go the gym like it’s a religion. I also recently ran a 5K. Sometimes things happen in life its how we deal with it that is important.

exactly what the fella above said, I'm not massive anymore, but confidence is key.

But never ever fake it. be happy with yourself because if you fake confidence, your faking who you are to the ladies.

I always think you should love yourself before you love another.

good luck my mate (Y)

I've seen it happen before, it's all about confidence!

But I'll be the ***** and say that I wouldn't date someone who is fat. But my definition of "fat" and someone else's definition of "fat" may be different.

-shrug-

I'm not "fit" and I'm not sure if I'm what you'd consider "sexy", but I'm known to be hard on myself. I'm normal weight. Working towards the lower end of it for them abs (and to save my weakened knee for when I finally rehab it enough to go full-force back into martial arts and running).

I can like a fat guy, but I don't know if I can love him.

My boyfriend and I were pretty chubby (him skinnyfat, me just fat) when we started dating. Since April of last year, I've been making a serious effort to lose weight and have become pretty thin. He was inspired by my action and has started trying to "recomp" - frankly, he's sabotaging himself, but he's happy with what he's doing and he is making progress, so I'm not about to try to "correct" him. He likes what he does and it's working, albeit slowly.

I love that he and I are working on our bodies together. It means a lot of fun activities for us in the future. Hiking? Oh yeah. Climbing? Yes. Powerlifting competitions? Heck. Yes. Going on mud runs together? Yes. Biking through the volcanoes in Hawaii? Absolutely. Snorkeling/Diving? Sign me up, just forget about the damn boat (seasickness is a *****).

It also means that my kids will be healthier, and happier. My dad was fat when I was born and growing up. His lack of activity and bad diet - and my mother's terrible influence on both - made for me to become the chubster I did. Pizza every week, ice cream every day, very few vegetables, white rice in abundance. It took me years to break those and build better habits. I still struggle with that. Not only that, but he has chronic hypertension (some of which is health-related, some of which is environmental). I worry about him, I stress about him - he's more likely to kick it early than not, and I DO NOT want that.

For me, I can like a fat guy. Heck, I hang out with a good number of 'em! They're fun, they're loving and they know how to have a good time. We have a lot in common.

But I couldn't be in a long-term relationship with one. At least not one who displays no intention of changing.

A fat person with no intention of changing is likely to be a negative influence in my life, as well as an insufficient partner. Not that they won't love me or provide for me (in most senses), it's more that I couldn't consider them to be my soulmate if they can't or won't participate in activities I find enjoyable. I want to go for a run, so I want my partner to be game to come out for a run with me. Or a bike ride. Or a long, long walk. Or to go try out that new gym that just opened and has this awesome lifting platform. A fat partner (once more, with no intention of changing), will be limited in how much they can enjoy these activities - "healthy" or not.

Not only this, but how will they enjoy my kids? I don't want to be the only parent able to keep up with my kidlets. I want to be able to take a break every now and again and know that my partner will be able to run around and keep up with them. To tire them out. I also don't want my kids thinking that fat is a good thing. I don't need them to have a phobia or a hate of fat people, but I don't want them to think it's "good" and "normal". It is not, and it will not be healthy for them. I want them to have constant good role models. I can't control the outside world, or my partner, but I can at least try to make sure that the home environment is as good as it can be. I can't see a fat partner being a part of my good example.

Finally, I want a soulmate and I want him for as long as I can have him. A fat person will have more health problems later in life, and will end up being taken from me sooner than he needs to. I don't want that pain. I will fight my boyfriend - my soulmate - tooth and nail and drag him kicking, screaming and ugly crying into the gym and into a dietitian's office if he lets himself go completely. I will cook all his food for him and not allow him to buy any on his own if it comes to that. Fortunately, he's proving to me - and most importantly to himself - that he has the discipline and drive to do this on his own.

A fit partner (or someone in progress to that end) like my current boyfriend is what I could marry and love for the rest of my life. He's establishing healthy habits that will impart well on our children, he's getting strong so that later in life he'll still be able to be active, he's learning to enjoy being active and having fun outside of the TV and video games, and he's getting more and more physically attractive.

Let's delve into vanity for a moment, here, too - I want to be the hot chick in the bikini at the pool (we don't have beaches where I am) and I want to make all the girls jealous of me. I also want to draw the eyes of all the boys. Then I want to walk up to my (by-then built as ****) boyfriend and snuggle him close. I want the both of us to make everyone else jealous. I want to be someone my boyfriend is proud enough of to show off (yes, yes, ladies, I know I don't need this, but I want it and if anyone is misandric enough to insist that I don't, then kindly **** off); by equal exchange, I want him to be someone I'm proud enough of to show off. I want to swat swooning girls off him (and intimidate them with my awesome arms) and I want us to look amazing.

TL;DR - I can like a fat guy, but I cannot love him.