Corrupt a Wish

Granted. Unfortunately, you realize too late that the unidentified stem and root a neighbor brought you was Hemlock - which you didn't realize until AFTER you touched your tongue with your fingers.

Time to get back on track

I wish it was Autumn.

Granted, but all the people in the northern hemisphere who like summer are really annoyed and find out it was your wish that robbed them of summer, and so they lynched you.

I wish I had a power cage.

Owch! That's a gnarly pulled muscle you made!

Hope you feel better soon.:flowerforyou:

I wish I was already at goal weight.

Granted, but the wish fairies achieved it by adjusting the earth's gravitational field, so you still have the same amount of unwanted fat as before, and are still the same size as before, because your mass hasn't changed, only your weight.

I wish that if my kids will insist on singing the sound track of Frozen at top volume, as they're doing right now, they'd at least learn how to sing it in tune...

Granted, but now they won't stop singing it 24/7 and the neighborhood dogs have joined in, howling along, and your ear drums are bleeding...

I wish my husband would stop dozing off...

Granted, but the wish fairies achieved it by adjusting the earth's gravitational field, so you still have the same amount of unwanted fat as before, and are still the same size as before, because your mass hasn't changed, only your weight.

I wish that if my kids will insist on singing the sound track of Frozen at top volume, as they're doing right now, they'd at least learn how to sing it in tune...

Granted, but now they won't stop singing it 24/7 and the neighborhood dogs have joined in, howling along, and your ear drums are bleeding...

I wish my husband would stop dozing off...

Granted! But he will continue to snore while he is awake now.

I wish Eva Andressa would realize that she's in love with me.

Wish granted! But you've come to find out that she likes to use the people she loves as punching bags for kickboxing practice.

I wish I was done with nursing school already.

I wish Eva Andressa would realize that she's in love with me.

Granted, except she's not Eva Andressa the Brazilian model. It's the recently undergone a sex change operation patient Eva Andressa, formerly known as Saul Andressa, from Yucca, AZ.

I wish I had a pet monkey in a cowboy hat.

Wish granted. But now you work in a nursing home and one of your patients is paranoid that you're out to get him and he pees in his bed every day to make your life more difficult.

I wish I was done with my summer courses.

Ha! Peeing the bed isn't even something I'd have to deal with. The aides get to change him!

Wish granted! You're done with your summer courses but only because you've flunked out of them.

I wish I wasn't at work today.

Wish granted, but you also won't collect a paycheck.

I wish the world leaders actually gave a crap about their people and well-being, instead of themselves and what they can gain.

Wish granted, but as you're on your way out of the bank to go spend all your riches, you slip on a penny that is unlucky side up, drop all your $ and the police throw you in the clink. The irony!

I wish I could eat chocolate 24/7 and not get fat.

Wish granted, but you liked the role so much you become gender confused and try to get ready to go out for the evening in 5 minutes.

I wish I could have all the wishes I wanted.

Granted. But a fly gets into the teleporter at the last minute, and when you come out of the other side, you have a fly's head and forearm and somewhere, a fly has your head, but it flies off. Your significant other has to kill you to safe him or herself (because you have the brain of a fly) and then crushes the fly's head and arm in a machine and confesses to your murder. He or she spends the rest of his or her life in a mental institution, and after he or she kills him or herself, a fly with your head and arm visits his or her grave.

Sorry George Langelaan, it's too early in the morning to be original!

I wish I could observe life on another planet and learn how it evolved.

I wish I could stop forgetting words and having those annoying tip-of-the-tongue moments, not to mention forgetting where I put small items like my pen.

Wishes granted, but now you are bombarded with too many thoughts and you now can't remember where you put "large items" (like your car)...

I wish I had no scars on my body.

Granted, you are now in Elizabethan England faced with poverty as a vagabond.

I wish I won $1million dollars tax free in a lottery.

Granted, but since you are your own bed, you are so comfortable that you end up sleeping your life away.

I wish I had a boyfriend.

Wish granted, but you've become extremely obsessed with exercising to maintain the perfect weight.

I wish The Mighty Mighty Bosstones would make a huge comeback and put the other artists out of the music business.