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Corrupt a Wish

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  • Posts: 106
    Alright, but their song is forever played until you just become sick of them.

    I wish I was in an important position, career wise.
  • Posts: 333 Member
    Wish granted. It turns out you are the lone person immune to aids and cancer. The CDC hired you as a special consultant, but you will now be locked up in a lab, branded dead to everyone who knows you and used as a test rat for the rest of your life. At least you're important though.


    I wish people were made of oreos.
  • Posts: 188 Member
    Granted but you aren't not and the only weather in the world is raining milk - which crumbles everyone so you are left completely lonely on earth forever.

    I wish I could play football at a professional level
  • Posts: 722 Member
    Granted but you aren't not and the only weather in the world is raining milk - which crumbles everyone so you are left completely lonely on earth forever.

    I wish I could play football at a professional level

    Granted, but you tore a ligament.

    I wish I had enough money saved up, so that I could retire at a relatively young age and never have to work again.
  • Posts: 188 Member
    show previous quotes

    Granted, but you tore a ligament.

    I wish I had enough money saved up, so that I could retire at a relatively young age and never have to work again.

    Ouch!

    Granted, but you blow all your money on one night out with Charlie Sheen and somehow managed to lose your house gambling on snail racing.

    I wish I had powers to correctly predict football scores by choice
  • Posts: 633
    Wish granted, but you ended up predicting the winning team and a squirrel interferes with a pass, causing the team to lose and you ending up in the bathroom full of angry people and you getting to know your best friend in a difficult way. Never travel through time via hot tub.

    I wish Eve didn't bite the fruit from the forbidden tree.
  • Posts: 670
    Granted. ......But Eve's daughter came along and bit it later so we ended up in the same boat anyway. I wish I could have a brand new Harley.
  • Posts: 7,436 Member
    Granted. It's a matchbox toys replica that's about 2 inches tall.

    I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time and to anthropological field studies on Homo erectus and other human ancestors.
  • Posts: 1,438 Member
    Granted. But when you set out you don't notice that you've set the controls to instead go into the future. The morlocks get you.

    I wish my pups stayed young forever.
  • Posts: 149
    Granted but as you get older you find that you can no longer keep up with their energy levels and all too soon are unable to take care of them as well as you should. Slowly the role of the aging pet and owner becomes reversed and depression settles in on their puppy likes brains until one day you are no longer there, leaving two sad puppies forever to wander without the man who should have been there to take care of them.

    I wish I had a slightly more cheerful mind this morning!
  • Posts: 408 Member
    Wish Granted: However while you're out being cheerful you find you can't stop and turn into the hateable Pollyanna character.

    I wish someone would work this week for me so I could just stay home with the kids.
  • Posts: 2,437 Member
    Granted. But the person that went to work for you pretended to be you and got slapped with a sexual harrassment allegation. You will need to explain yourself.

    I wish monkeys could talk. English, preferably
  • Posts: 2,528 Member
    Granted. But the person that went to work for you pretended to be you and got slapped with a sexual harrassment allegation. You will need to explain yourself.

    I wish monkeys could talk. English, preferably

    Wish granted. However, now all the monkeys tell everyone all the embarrassing things you did when no one was looking (You did WHAT with your WHAT?).

    I wish pizza grew on trees.
  • Posts: 2,628 Member
    Granted, but the trees are tall and you are afraid of heights.

    I wish I had all the wishes I wanted.
  • Posts: 7,436 Member
    show previous quotes

    Wish granted. However, now all the monkeys tell everyone all the embarrassing things you did when no one was looking (You did WHAT with your WHAT?).

    I wish pizza grew on trees.

    Granted. But all the talking monkeys from the previous wish get a taste for pizza, and eat it all, and there's a big fight between the humans and the talking monkeys, but the talking monkeys win and because they never evolved to be relatively nice like humans (yes I've studied baboon behaviour, they're a kind of monkey and they are evil by human standards) the war and havoc unleashed on the world is a lot worse than it ever was under the humans' regime.

    I wish the air conditioner in my room (in Bahrain!! in July!!) was freaking working because I feel like I'm going to boil to death....
  • Posts: 80
    ooops
  • Posts: 702 Member
    show previous quotes

    Granted. But all the talking monkeys from the previous wish get a taste for pizza, and eat it all, and there's a big fight between the humans and the talking monkeys, but the talking monkeys win and because they never evolved to be relatively nice like humans (yes I've studied baboon behaviour, they're a kind of monkey and they are evil by human standards) the war and havoc unleashed on the world is a lot worse than it ever was under the humans' regime.

    I wish the air conditioner in my room (in Bahrain!! in July!!) was freaking working because I feel like I'm going to boil to death....

    Granted. Your AC works but because it's the only one within miles, everyone has decided your room is the place to be. It now stinks of sweat, farts and bad breath. Enjoy!

    I wish for world peace.
  • Posts: 7,436 Member
    show previous quotes

    Granted. Your AC works but because it's the only one within miles, everyone has decided your room is the place to be. It now stinks of sweat, farts and bad breath. Enjoy!

    I wish for world peace.

    Wish granted. But in order to make that possible, the human race had to go extinct. In a couple of million years, bonobos might evolve enough to start their own civilisation. Maybe they have a better chance at world peace.

    I wish I had a pet unicorn.
  • Posts: 617 Member

    I wish I had a pet unicorn.

    Wish granted, your unicorn wont eat and dies of depression, being the only one of it's species in existence.

    I wish I had a new car
  • Posts: 219 Member
    show previous quotes

    Wish granted, your unicorn won't eat and dies of depression, being the only one of it's species in existence.

    I wish I had a new car

    Wish granted, you now have a Ford Model A! :D

    I wish I could travel to Europe.
  • Posts: 702 Member
    show previous quotes

    Wish granted, your unicorn wont eat and dies of depression, being the only one of it's species in existence.

    I wish I had a new car

    Granted. But you've had your license taken away and now it sits in your driveway, as useless as the piece of plastic in your wallet.

    I wish Vin Diesel weren't gay
  • Posts: 702 Member
    show previous quotes


    Wish granted, you now have a Ford Model A! :D

    I wish I could travel to Europe.


    Granted. You broke your leg coming off the plane and must spend the entire trip laid up in bed =(

    I still wish Vin Diesel weren't gay
  • Posts: 81 Member
    Granted: but he still doesnt like you.


    I wish I could afford to furnish my new flat.
  • Posts: 702 Member
    Granted. Your flat is now beautifully furnished, but you've been evicted and have no money to move.

    I wish for uncorrupted wishes.
  • Posts: 307 Member
    Granted, but you lose the ability to communicate a second later.

    I wish to be a chess grandmaster
  • Posts: 702 Member
    Granted, but the chess board has been knocked over by jocks and now there are several pieces missing.


    I wish conversations about politics and religion didn't always escalate into heated debates.
  • Posts: 520 Member
    Granted, no one is allowed to have opinions anymore.

    I wish I was done with medical school!
  • Posts: 53
    Granted, your now the night time manager at Macdonalds.

    I wish for a method of wishing not including monkeypaw-esque catches :D
  • Posts: 7,436 Member
    granted. here's a genie in a lamp. It does everything you ask, no hidden catches. Then you wake up and find it's all been a dream and the lamp is just a regular oil lamp, and not even one with any antique value because they're two a penny.



    I wish I knew the future results of all sporting events so I can bet on them and make lots of money.
  • Posts: 670
    Granted ! After your first money win you get robbed and beat up, they take all your money and you get amnesia from the beating and forget all of the future sporting results. I wish I could invent something really cool.
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