Not tonight honey, a Friends re-run is on....
Replies
-
I think there is definitely fault on both sides. I do have to say that I do not see anything wrong with the spreadsheet. From the looks of it he needed data to back up his claim, it was how he presented said data that was wrong. Also, in all fairness... he DID communicate with her by sharing that with her. It was the wrong approach but that is still communication. She also needed to communicate with him that she just isn't feeling sexy or is too tired and come up with ways to fix it. It is her body to use as she pleases but that is also what causes husbands to stray. There are compromises. Feel tired well come up with date nights with your husband. Feel like there is not enough sex? Discuss it with your wife and see what the underlying problem is and what you can do to remedy it.
Seriously though... i kind of dig the spreadsheet...I should use that for dating or for fun... I can list age, weight, height, background, length, width, and a rating. Also have a seperate section for notes of special abilities.0 -
The only thing we know this guy did wrong (any speculation about what caused her to turn him down is just that, speculation) is to try to hurt her with the way he delivered the spreadsheet. The "I won't miss you" and refusing to speak to her was petty and simply an attempt to hurt her. But the spreadsheet was a perfectly valid way to prove his claim had merit.
Hell, when I was married and fought about money constantly, my ex would ALWAY claim I was exagerating and she didn't spend that much. Until I provided her with evidince (bank statements with all her spendings highlighted and added up). Of course, the argument then changed from "that is so much money, there is no way I spent that much" to "that's a perfectly acceptable amount of money to spend." But I digress. Providing proof of your claims is not insensitive, even though it may be seen that way to the person being proven wrong.0 -
He communicated that fact using emperical data to prove his case, and that it is not an exageration. And there are plenty of women in this very thread delusional enough to say that is insensitive. Bull. Crap. At least he is communicating.
Here is the thing about how he chose to communicate his concern. He emailed it to her while she was on a business trip, and added a very spiteful comment.
The spreadsheet is not the issue. He could have shown her the spreadsheet in person and opened up a conversation about it. Instead, he chose to show it by email, where she could not instantly communicate a response, and while she was away from home, and made a point to say that she would not be missed, leaving an open-ended indication that he MIGHT cheat while she is away.
It was disrespectful to say the least, and intended to inspire feelings of suspicion and mistrust. Not exactly the most productive way to seduce your wife.
Of course, I don't condone her behavior either. Strangers should not even have the opportunity to discuss their marriage on the internet... but here it is anyway, and that is her fault!0 -
He communicated that fact using emperical data to prove his case, and that it is not an exageration. And there are plenty of women in this very thread delusional enough to say that is insensitive. Bull. Crap. At least he is communicating.
Here is the thing about how he chose to communicate his concern. He emailed it to her while she was on a business trip, and added a very spiteful comment.
The spreadsheet is not the issue. He could have shown her the spreadsheet in person and opened up a conversation about it. Instead, he chose to show it by email, where she could not instantly communicate a response, and while she was away from home, and made a point to say that she would not be missed, leaving an open-ended indication that he MIGHT cheat while she is away.
It was disrespectful to say the least, and intended to inspire feelings of suspicion and mistrust. Not exactly the most productive way to seduce your wife.
Of course, I don't condone her behavior either. Strangers should not even have the opportunity to discuss their marriage on the internet... but here it is anyway, and that is her fault!
Look up one post from yours.0 -
He communicated that fact using emperical data to prove his case, and that it is not an exageration. And there are plenty of women in this very thread delusional enough to say that is insensitive. Bull. Crap. At least he is communicating.
Here is the thing about how he chose to communicate his concern. He emailed it to her while she was on a business trip, and added a very spiteful comment.
The spreadsheet is not the issue. He could have shown her the spreadsheet in person and opened up a conversation about it. Instead, he chose to show it by email, where she could not instantly communicate a response, and while she was away from home, and made a point to say that she would not be missed, leaving an open-ended indication that he MIGHT cheat while she is away.
It was disrespectful to say the least, and intended to inspire feelings of suspicion and mistrust. Not exactly the most productive way to seduce your wife.
Of course, I don't condone her behavior either. Strangers should not even have the opportunity to discuss their marriage on the internet... but here it is anyway, and that is her fault!
But since it's only one side of the story, we don't know if he tried to talk to her about it before and she shut him down.0 -
Isn't the goal to have a happy marriage??? That means keepin each other happy.My real question to everyone is why does a woman owe her husband sex? Not being in the mood is reason enough to not have sex.
never been married, but I have been in a couple of LTRs and I have (more often than not) acquiesced to sex when I wasn't really feeling it, to no great detriment to either myself or my partner. suppose I ask my bf to do the dishes and he doesn't really feel like it but does it anyway because he loves and respects me and wants me to be happy--it's like that. let me be clear: i'm not advocating anyone submit to sex against their wishes. i'm just pointing out that 'the mood' does not have to be perfect for the job to get done...0 -
Whether he was wrong or not is purely a matter of opinion.
Let's say he TRIED to talk to her about it and she said " You're exaggerating. I don't say no THAT often."
He proceeds to make spreadsheet.
While I can make no excuse for her posting it publicly to gain support and prove "she's the one who's right" here, if she has indeed had her life kicked into ludicrous speed, then maybe just relaxing in front of the tv with Friends is all she really wanted to do.
We've all had our days we just didn't want to be touched ( and if not, you're lucky *kitten*) but to judge either of them without knowing the facts seems a bit harsh to me. All we have is HER side of the story and if her hectic life is legit, I can understand some of it.
The only "wrong" I see here is the public posting. Your bedroom affairs should stay in the bedroom, not be posted online to be flounced about for likes and upvotes.0 -
He communicated that fact using emperical data to prove his case, and that it is not an exageration. And there are plenty of women in this very thread delusional enough to say that is insensitive. Bull. Crap. At least he is communicating.
Here is the thing about how he chose to communicate his concern. He emailed it to her while she was on a business trip, and added a very spiteful comment.
The spreadsheet is not the issue. He could have shown her the spreadsheet in person and opened up a conversation about it. Instead, he chose to show it by email, where she could not instantly communicate a response, and while she was away from home, and made a point to say that she would not be missed, leaving an open-ended indication that he MIGHT cheat while she is away.
It was disrespectful to say the least, and intended to inspire feelings of suspicion and mistrust. Not exactly the most productive way to seduce your wife.
Of course, I don't condone her behavior either. Strangers should not even have the opportunity to discuss their marriage on the internet... but here it is anyway, and that is her fault!
Look up one post from yours.
Yeah, I saw it. But you still didn't address the fact that he emailed her the spreadsheet while she was out of town as opposed to showing it to her in person.0 -
Typical woman.0
-
Whether he was wrong or not is purely a matter of opinion.
Let's say he TRIED to talk to her about it and she said " You're exaggerating. I don't say no THAT often."
He proceeds to make spreadsheet.
While I can make no excuse for her posting it publicly to gain support and prove "she's the one who's right" here, if she has indeed had her life kicked into ludicrous speed, then maybe just relaxing in front of the tv with Friends is all she really wanted to do.
We've all had our days we just didn't want to be touched ( and if not, you're lucky *kitten*) but to judge either of them without knowing the facts seems a bit harsh to me. All we have is HER side of the story and if her hectic life is legit, I can understand some of it.
The only "wrong" I see here is the public posting. Your bedroom affairs should stay in the bedroom, not be posted online to be flounced about for likes and upvotes.
The fact that we ONLY have HER side of the story and she still looks like the wrong party speaks volumes.0 -
He communicated that fact using emperical data to prove his case, and that it is not an exageration. And there are plenty of women in this very thread delusional enough to say that is insensitive. Bull. Crap. At least he is communicating.
Here is the thing about how he chose to communicate his concern. He emailed it to her while she was on a business trip, and added a very spiteful comment.
The spreadsheet is not the issue. He could have shown her the spreadsheet in person and opened up a conversation about it. Instead, he chose to show it by email, where she could not instantly communicate a response, and while she was away from home, and made a point to say that she would not be missed, leaving an open-ended indication that he MIGHT cheat while she is away.
It was disrespectful to say the least, and intended to inspire feelings of suspicion and mistrust. Not exactly the most productive way to seduce your wife.
Of course, I don't condone her behavior either. Strangers should not even have the opportunity to discuss their marriage on the internet... but here it is anyway, and that is her fault!
Look up one post from yours.
Yeah, I saw it. But you still didn't address the fact that he emailed her the spreadsheet while she was out of town as opposed to showing it to her in person.
Seems like a good way to give her time to reflect on the issue rather than just starting a fight about it.0 -
He communicated that fact using emperical data to prove his case, and that it is not an exageration. And there are plenty of women in this very thread delusional enough to say that is insensitive. Bull. Crap. At least he is communicating.
Here is the thing about how he chose to communicate his concern. He emailed it to her while she was on a business trip, and added a very spiteful comment.
The spreadsheet is not the issue. He could have shown her the spreadsheet in person and opened up a conversation about it. Instead, he chose to show it by email, where she could not instantly communicate a response, and while she was away from home, and made a point to say that she would not be missed, leaving an open-ended indication that he MIGHT cheat while she is away.
It was disrespectful to say the least, and intended to inspire feelings of suspicion and mistrust. Not exactly the most productive way to seduce your wife.
Of course, I don't condone her behavior either. Strangers should not even have the opportunity to discuss their marriage on the internet... but here it is anyway, and that is her fault!
But since it's only one side of the story, we don't know if he tried to talk to her about it before and she shut him down.
Communication and willingness to work is the key to any relationship. If one person is refusing to communicate, there were other more productive outlets he could have pursued. Instead, he chose to be cold and petty. I don't really see how there is any justification in his behavior (hers either).0 -
Isn't the goal to have a happy marriage??? That means keepin each other happy.My real question to everyone is why does a woman owe her husband sex? Not being in the mood is reason enough to not have sex.
never been married, but I have been in a couple of LTRs and I have (more often than not) acquiesced to sex when I wasn't really feeling it, to no great detriment to either myself or my partner. suppose I ask my bf to do the dishes and he doesn't really feel like it but does it anyway because he loves and respects me and wants me to be happy--it's like that. let me be clear: i'm not advocating anyone submit to sex against their wishes. i'm just pointing out that 'the mood' does not have to be perfect for the job to get done...
Yes yes yes..
and..as a woman..I can find at times I wont feel 100% "in the mood"..but I find myself gradually more into the mood as things progress. aw yes, there was a time..in the past..where I was in the same boat as this woman in the article (minus the spreadsheet)...sure wish I could smack myself in the head sometimes I way I acted..0 -
This is going to be long winded and angry because quite frankly the responses in this thread have me annoyed as all freaking get out.
1. Women are NOT always the one who turns the partner down. This is a myth that has to die. NOW. I know plenty of women who happen to feel like the turned down party. Women who are beautiful, women who try things. Women who are HURT by this.
And what's more hurtful is threads like this where every idiot man and woman is coming to the consensus that it's always this way.
How do you think the often turned down woman feels when she is told by society that men ALWAYS want it and women ALWAYS turn it down . They wonder why they aren't wanted.
2. Relationships have ebbs and flows. From what I have gathered in recent experience the more you bring up the fact that it's not happening between the sheets, the more the partner not putting out refuses. Constantly bringing it up doesn't help. Spreadsheets won't help. All it's going to do is make you feel like you are married to an insensitive man/woman.
3. The man not getting attention = memes about men not getting any and cheating? Let's reverse this. A woman only gets it four times a month makes a spreadsheet then cheats or leaves .Chances are a lot more excuses will be made for the man and a lot of people will call the woman dirty things.
4. Relationships are supposed to be a good thing. But sex is NOT an obligation. A woman should not feel "lucky" her partner wants her. A m,an should not feel "lucky" that his partner wants him. The two should feel fortunate to have a wonderful partnership that sometimes leads to some hot banging.
Best friggin post E V E R !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
He communicated that fact using emperical data to prove his case, and that it is not an exageration. And there are plenty of women in this very thread delusional enough to say that is insensitive. Bull. Crap. At least he is communicating.
Here is the thing about how he chose to communicate his concern. He emailed it to her while she was on a business trip, and added a very spiteful comment.
The spreadsheet is not the issue. He could have shown her the spreadsheet in person and opened up a conversation about it. Instead, he chose to show it by email, where she could not instantly communicate a response, and while she was away from home, and made a point to say that she would not be missed, leaving an open-ended indication that he MIGHT cheat while she is away.
It was disrespectful to say the least, and intended to inspire feelings of suspicion and mistrust. Not exactly the most productive way to seduce your wife.
Of course, I don't condone her behavior either. Strangers should not even have the opportunity to discuss their marriage on the internet... but here it is anyway, and that is her fault!
Look up one post from yours.
Yeah, I saw it. But you still didn't address the fact that he emailed her the spreadsheet while she was out of town as opposed to showing it to her in person.
Seems like a good way to give her time to reflect on the issue rather than just starting a fight about it.
Fine. Then you email your wife and say "I put this together. I would really like to discuss this when you come home. The issue is important to me." That is how you effectively communicate.
Saying "you won't be missed" is harsh, cold, and petty. I really don't think he said that in an effort to avoid an argument. Do you really think saying that to your wife wouldn't lead to an argument?0 -
He communicated that fact using emperical data to prove his case, and that it is not an exageration. And there are plenty of women in this very thread delusional enough to say that is insensitive. Bull. Crap. At least he is communicating.
Here is the thing about how he chose to communicate his concern. He emailed it to her while she was on a business trip, and added a very spiteful comment.
The spreadsheet is not the issue. He could have shown her the spreadsheet in person and opened up a conversation about it. Instead, he chose to show it by email, where she could not instantly communicate a response, and while she was away from home, and made a point to say that she would not be missed, leaving an open-ended indication that he MIGHT cheat while she is away.
It was disrespectful to say the least, and intended to inspire feelings of suspicion and mistrust. Not exactly the most productive way to seduce your wife.
Of course, I don't condone her behavior either. Strangers should not even have the opportunity to discuss their marriage on the internet... but here it is anyway, and that is her fault!
But since it's only one side of the story, we don't know if he tried to talk to her about it before and she shut him down.
Actually, the story states (not saying it's all true) that the wife tried calling the husband when she received the emailed spreadsheet, but he refused to take her calls.
Again. Both of these people just need to grow up. Both of them are acting completely childish and will have no hope for their marriage unless they make some strides both personally, and in their partnership.0 -
What a fascinating Rorschach test this thread has proven to be.
The vast majority of the responses here are from people taking a handful of facts and then fleshing them out with their own biases.
We know very little about the situation. Far too little to come to any real conclusions at all. And that's assuming the few "facts" we have are actually facts.
But don't let that get in the way of some internet judgement.
0 -
If he is this immature to make a spreadsheet,I can only wonder how exactly he tries to initiate sex. She is probably sickened by him.0
-
Extrapolate that spreadsheet out over a four year period, but remove the three "yes" marks, and you have the last 4 years of my marriage. Withholding physical love of all types is a pretty effective way to drive someone who loves you away.0
-
What a fascinating Rorschach test this thread has proven to be.
The vast majority of the responses here are from people taking a handful of facts and then fleshing them out with their own biases.
We know very little about the situation. Far too little to come to any real conclusions at all. And that's assuming the few "facts" we have are actually facts.
But don't let that get in the way of some internet judgement.
Thank you.0 -
He communicated that fact using emperical data to prove his case, and that it is not an exageration. And there are plenty of women in this very thread delusional enough to say that is insensitive. Bull. Crap. At least he is communicating.
Here is the thing about how he chose to communicate his concern. He emailed it to her while she was on a business trip, and added a very spiteful comment.
The spreadsheet is not the issue. He could have shown her the spreadsheet in person and opened up a conversation about it. Instead, he chose to show it by email, where she could not instantly communicate a response, and while she was away from home, and made a point to say that she would not be missed, leaving an open-ended indication that he MIGHT cheat while she is away.
It was disrespectful to say the least, and intended to inspire feelings of suspicion and mistrust. Not exactly the most productive way to seduce your wife.
Of course, I don't condone her behavior either. Strangers should not even have the opportunity to discuss their marriage on the internet... but here it is anyway, and that is her fault!
Look up one post from yours.
Yeah, I saw it. But you still didn't address the fact that he emailed her the spreadsheet while she was out of town as opposed to showing it to her in person.
Seems like a good way to give her time to reflect on the issue rather than just starting a fight about it.
Fine. Then you email your wife and say "I put this together. I would really like to discuss this when you come home. The issue is important to me." That is how you effectively communicate.
Saying "you won't be missed" is harsh, cold, and petty. I really don't think he said that in an effort to avoid an argument. Do you really think saying that to your wife wouldn't lead to an argument?
So what you are saying is that you didn't read the previous post of mine that you said you read, but that it didn't address the issue of him emailing her when she was going out of town. Because if you did, you wouldn't have made your assinine last paragraph, as that was addressed.
Otherwise, you have presented a strawman argument. Which is a logical fallacy most often employed when ones argument has no logical merit, and as such, is wrong.0 -
What a fascinating Rorschach test this thread has proven to be.
The vast majority of the responses here are from people taking a handful of facts and then fleshing them out with their own biases.
We know very little about the situation. Far too little to come to any real conclusions at all. And that's assuming the few "facts" we have are actually facts.
But don't let that get in the way of some internet judgement.
Well yeah, duh! That is what we do best!0 -
I hate to be the one to say it (not really), but it's seriously no wonder guys cheat. Withholding sex from your man for that long while just making lame excuses is no better. Personally I don't believe his actions were wrong if he had previously tried to discuss things before many times to no avail. And if she put it on the net, so be it. In my eyes, she's the jerk and it only validates that.
^^ 100% agree. You said everything I would have!0 -
I wrote it on a pocket calendar for a month one time to prove a point. My husband says I always turn him down, I think he turns me down more often. What I discovered (besides our communication skills suck) is that the times I turned him down, I was unable to participate. For example, while passing kidney stones...bad timing. He turned me down because he was usually too tired. I tried giving him a heads up (so to speak) earlier in the day so we could maybe plan to go to bed earlier, but then those nights he'd stay up late gaming and by the time he did come to bed, I was passed out. There were also many nights neither one of us initiated, which makes me wonder if he asked every single night?
As for posting a day by day account for everyone to see? Ummm...no.0 -
I refuse to have sex this week. Just so everyone knows before they try to put something in me.0
-
I refuse to have sex this week. Just so everyone knows before they try to put something in me.
the TOM thread is <---that way...0 -
Was it the The One With Chandler In A Box episode. If so, I totally agree with not having sex during that one!!!0
-
I refuse to have sex this week. Just so everyone knows before they try to put something in me.
the TOM thread is <---that way...
Pfffft.... TOM is for the youngins. I'm old, dry, and don't do that anymore.0 -
Was it the The One With Chandler In A Box episode. If so, I totally agree with not having sex during that one!!!
in... for double entendre in episode title!0 -
Was it the The One With Chandler In A Box episode. If so, I totally agree with not having sex during that one!!!
in... for double entendre in episode title!
I was wondering if anyone would catch that!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions