Not tonight honey, a Friends re-run is on....

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  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
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    Well a woman making her husband feel like he has to beg for it, completely disturbs his ability to feel respected and appreciated by his partner. The spreadsheet was not most likely a whim, but probably came from years of this rejection. The premise that both people need time sometimes is total bunk in this situation as the spreadsheet chronicles his pursuit of his wife and rejection over and over again.
    In a marriage couples belong to each other, it is when they start thinking of themselves and forget the other person in the relationship that pain like this comes out. No one remembers who threw the first punch, but both are bloody and beat by the end of the fight.
  • cowbellsandcoffee
    cowbellsandcoffee Posts: 2,975 Member
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    ...and now there is another spreadsheet going around... :laugh:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/24/spreadsheet_0_n_5618005.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

    original_zpsd7cfb0ce.jpg~original
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
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    :laugh:Wow, for a moment I thought it said HE wore a teddy to bed and was wondering why someone had the spreadsheet about my ex.
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
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    About 10 minutes in.


    Come on folks that is funny!
    aRQvyE5_460sa_v1.gif
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    :laugh:Wow, for a moment I thought it said HE wore a teddy to bed and was wondering why someone had the spreadsheet about my ex.

    Hahaha
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    My spreadsheet would be so boring.

    He initiated, we had super hot time, every, single, day.

    Except Wednesdays. We don't spend the night together on Wednesdays.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    Being passive-aggressive is never the answer. How did he think this was going to help the situation in the first place?

    It's called C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N. & this isn't it.

    Really? I think he probably took this measure because she probably denied how often she said no in the past. He decided to make a sheet to prove his point. It's not passive aggressive.

    Btw, this guy doesn't seem entitled to me. She seems to be. Reaps all the benefits of marriage without holding up her end of the bargain. He's a husband propositioning his wife for sex. Perfectly well within reason, imo. You don't need to do it every night but three times in six weeks?! You don't need to actually have sex either. If you feel gross, tell him, then offer to do something else. It works (and to men, counts as sex) and isn't a lot of effort.

    This woman is a real b*tch for posting their private info online. What did she hope to accomplish?

    You might want to read up on the definition of passive aggressive there, dear. Because what he did here fits the description perfectly.

    I do agree that the woman is nuts for posting it online. That will and did help nothing. That was a punitive move-nothing more-and a poor one at that, because it so obviously blew up in her face. Both parties are very much at fault here, and they seem to be incompetent communicators.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
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    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201401/how-spot-and-deal-passive-aggressive-people

    The NYU Medical Center defines a passive-aggressive individual as someone who "may appear to comply or act appropriately, but actually behaves negatively and passively resists." Passive- aggressive actions can range from the relatively mild, such as making excuses for not getting together, to the very serious, such as sabotaging someone’s well-being and success.

    Most chronically passive-aggressive individuals have four common characteristics: They’re unreasonable to deal with, they’re uncomfortable to experience, they rarely express their hostility directly, and they repeat their subterfuge behavior over time. Passive aggressiveness may be directed towards a person or a group.
  • MikeCrazy
    MikeCrazy Posts: 2,716 Member
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    My spreadsheet would be so boring.

    He initiated, we had super hot time, every, single, day.

    Except Wednesdays. We don't spend the night together on Wednesdays.

    Jelly - ugh...
  • patrickblo13
    patrickblo13 Posts: 831 Member
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    Did my wife really release our spreadsheet?!?!? She is in big trouble when I get home
  • HardyGirl4Ever
    HardyGirl4Ever Posts: 1,017 Member
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    Some women are just insecure and also sometimes they are not that sexual. I don't think the wife is horrible for feeling gross. Maybe they should go to a relationship counselor or sex therapist. I've seen on tv that that can help.
  • MikeCrazy
    MikeCrazy Posts: 2,716 Member
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    Some women are just insecure and also sometimes they are not that sexual. I don't think the wife is horrible for feeling gross. Maybe they should go to a relationship counselor or sex therapist. I've seen on tv that that can help.

    Me and me wife are going ot a sex therapist....so far, it's good. She can say things there that she can't seem to say at home...weird.
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
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    My spreadsheet would be so boring.

    He initiated, we had super hot time, every, single, day.

    Except Wednesdays. We don't spend the night together on Wednesdays.

    Jelly - ugh...
    No doubt. Could she rub that in any harder?!




    No seriously, just a little harder please.
  • Ms_Chai
    Ms_Chai Posts: 86 Member
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    Well a woman making her husband feel like he has to beg for it, completely disturbs his ability to feel respected and appreciated by his partner. The spreadsheet was not most likely a whim, but probably came from years of this rejection. The premise that both people need time sometimes is total bunk in this situation as the spreadsheet chronicles his pursuit of his wife and rejection over and over again.
    In a marriage couples belong to each other, it is when they start thinking of themselves and forget the other person in the relationship that pain like this comes out. No one remembers who threw the first punch, but both are bloody and beat by the end of the fight.

    Sure....it is clearly chronicled that the wife is rejecting her husband "over and over again" for 6 WEEKS. In a marriage, that will hopefully last many, many years, a 6 week period is practically nothing. At some point, the husband may not be as interested for a 6 week time period. Would the wife then have reason to cheat, or to imply that her husband's only worth is how he performs sexually? My issue is with his presentation of his problems with her, and the people in this thread implying that he now has some "right" or reason to cheat.
  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
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    My only question is, how long does he have to put himself out there before his anger is justified?
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    My spreadsheet would be so boring.

    He initiated, we had super hot time, every, single, day.

    Except Wednesdays. We don't spend the night together on Wednesdays.

    Yeah.. ok :laugh:
  • Ms_Chai
    Ms_Chai Posts: 86 Member
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    My only question is, how long does he have to put himself out there before his anger is justified?

    There is no point in which his anger would be justified. In my opinion he doesn't have a right to be angry if she doesn't want to have sex. If she isn't into sex, then she isn't into sex. People change. If he is unhappy with the relationship and actual efforts (therapy, seeing what she wants sexually, etc) have not worked, then he should get out...and I wouldn't blame him for that one bit. Just as I wouldn't blame him for being dissatisfied with the relationship due to the lack of sex. But, insulting her and attempting to coerce/guilt her into sex isn't the way to go to solve a problem like that.
  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
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    My honest opinion is he is still in love with her, or why would he even care about taking the time. Women really mess us guys up and we can't just go complain to our girlfriends. Usually we feel bad about bashing our woman to anyone, wish the ladies felt the same.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Oh boy. I would never bash my husband to anyone. And if I did, it would just make me look bad. I could never do that. He is so wonderful. Any issues I have would be my own, not because of him.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,022 Member
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    Basically this: ladies, please your man or I'm going to come along and do it for you.

    Lots of women simply don't get this but its true. There is always some woman willing to take up the slack.

    If a woman doesn't want to have sex with her husband she becomes just a room mate. We men don't even consider it cheating if its on a room mate!

    If a GF doesn't want sex as often as we do we will cheat on her. Fact.

    If the relationship is on the rocks the rocks are in the bed.

    I don't think this is a gender issue either, it works both ways.

    Bottom line, find someone who is sexually compatible with you. Life is too short to go without.

    In a long term relationship, there will likely be periods of time when partners are not sexually compatible - ie one would like it more often than the other due to many many reasons - having a baby, stress, exhaustion, illness etc .

    Hopefully most people can accept this and try to compromise because they love each other - not just leave because life is too short to go without at all.

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