Sarcastic Heifer

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Replies

  • DanaLash
    DanaLash Posts: 59 Member
    Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

    Wait.

    Your three kids forced you to eat at a calorie surplus and then continue to eat at a higher maintenance level over an extended period of time? I'm pretty sure children don't actually have this ability.

    I already addressed this.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I think my issue is that I'm an instant gratification kind of person. Like, "Hey, I just ran a mile, I'm gonna go weigh myself...Wait...I didn't lose any weight running that mile?!?! What the hell?!?!"

    That's why I'm jealous of the adipex. Because it expedites the process. I want immediate results with minimum work, ya' know?

    Losing weight too fast, results in loose skin.
  • chadya07
    chadya07 Posts: 627 Member
    I think my issue is that I'm an instant gratification kind of person. Like, "Hey, I just ran a mile, I'm gonna go weigh myself...Wait...I didn't lose any weight running that mile?!?! What the hell?!?!"

    That's why I'm jealous of the adipex. Because it expedites the process. I want immediate results with minimum work, ya' know?

    oh yea, you gotta get over that. running a mile hardly even burns any calories really... but it makes you feel great... after its over.
    results come from your diet, not your exersize as much. and slowly if you are doing it right, in a non-starvation, healthy kind of way. one where you can even have a serving of doritos sometimes.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!


    Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

    This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

    *adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    No, no, no...ok, here is the deal. You misunderstand completely. First of all, whoever made the hyberbole dig. I dig it. I dig it MORE THAN ANYONE HAS EVER DUG ANYTHING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING. Really, it was hilarious.

    I believe I made it clear right from the jump that I'm not a touchy feely kind of person. Like, didn't I say that immediately? Yeah, I did. But, allow me to explain since everyone wants to jump my ****.

    1. When I said my kids trashed my body, I did not mean that my kids made me fat. I made me fat. Not that it is any of your business but apparently I need to explain because otherwise I'll be thrown to the MFP wolves up in this *****. I mean that my second child caused massive health issues. And then when I went to have the surgery to treat said health issues, I found out I was pregnant with my third. I spent my third pregnancy on complete bedrest. After my third was born, I had a very complicated and scary hysterectomy. By trashed my body, I meant that in the literal sense. So, suck it.

    2. My friend who was prescribed adipex DOES have a leg up on me. She has an amphetamine coursing through her veins giving her energy everyday. Can I just go buy some meth? No, no I cannot. I don't care what you say. I openly admit, I have zero will power. I am a mother of three tiny energy thieves and I am tired ALL OF THE TIME. You can tell me that I just have to find the motivation myself. Well, no ****, Sherlock. Why do you think I'm on this site to begin with?

    3. I didn't ask for people to give me reassuring lovey messages or advice, did I? I didn't ask for judgement, correct? All I said was, if any other people who just occasionally need a kick in the *kitten* wanna get in on this thing together, let me know. That was it.

    *****es be crazy.

    In regards to number 2, all I hear are excuses.

    ^Ditto this. Anybody can buy meth.
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
    Hey Ya'll,


    I think your funny, Hi5
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I love how this thread is so neatly polarizing MFP members into two very separate and distinct groups.

    I would label each of these groups, but I doubt I could keep the bias of my own personal perspective from showing through. I only wish that MFP would spin off two separate sites so the group I'm not in wouldn't have to be so offended by how I choose to conduct myself here.
  • krisbeaver
    krisbeaver Posts: 41 Member
    You can do it! But first you have to think about yourself and what losing weight will do for you. In your post, you mention your best friend and your husband...they have nothing to do with your weight loss. If you want it bad enough the outside influences will not make a difference. I swear the mental aspect of losing weight is the toughest!
  • jrline
    jrline Posts: 2,353 Member
    Good Luck on your Journey

    29509743.png
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
    So you're doing everything, EXCEPT holding yourself accountable for your actions.

    Got it.

    +1
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!


    Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

    This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

    *adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

    This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

    I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.
  • CupcakeCrusoe
    CupcakeCrusoe Posts: 1,424 Member
    No, no, no...ok, here is the deal. You misunderstand completely. First of all, whoever made the hyberbole dig. I dig it. I dig it MORE THAN ANYONE HAS EVER DUG ANYTHING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING. Really, it was hilarious.

    I believe I made it clear right from the jump that I'm not a touchy feely kind of person. Like, didn't I say that immediately? Yeah, I did. But, allow me to explain since everyone wants to jump my ****.

    1. When I said my kids trashed my body, I did not mean that my kids made me fat. I made me fat. Not that it is any of your business but apparently I need to explain because otherwise I'll be thrown to the MFP wolves up in this *****. I mean that my second child caused massive health issues. And then when I went to have the surgery to treat said health issues, I found out I was pregnant with my third. I spent my third pregnancy on complete bedrest. After my third was born, I had a very complicated and scary hysterectomy. By trashed my body, I meant that in the literal sense. So, suck it.

    2. My friend who was prescribed adipex DOES have a leg up on me. She has an amphetamine coursing through her veins giving her energy everyday. Can I just go buy some meth? No, no I cannot. I don't care what you say. I openly admit, I have zero will power. I am a mother of three tiny energy thieves and I am tired ALL OF THE TIME. You can tell me that I just have to find the motivation myself. Well, no ****, Sherlock. Why do you think I'm on this site to begin with?

    3. I didn't ask for people to give me reassuring lovey messages or advice, did I? I didn't ask for judgement, correct? All I said was, if any other people who just occasionally need a kick in the *kitten* wanna get in on this thing together, let me know. That was it.

    *****es be crazy.

    In regards to number 2, all I hear are excuses.

    ^Ditto this. Anybody can buy meth.

    QFT!

    OP, I wish you the best, but...welcome to the forums. If you come in with a notion that is wrong, you will hear about it. Multiple times.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I think my issue is that I'm an instant gratification kind of person. Like, "Hey, I just ran a mile, I'm gonna go weigh myself...Wait...I didn't lose any weight running that mile?!?! What the hell?!?!"

    That's why I'm jealous of the adipex. Because it expedites the process. I want immediate results with minimum work, ya' know?

    But medications have side effects that can affect health in other ways. You should be happy you don't have an ailment that requires meds.

    To your latter point, you are just going to have to get over it and learn how to enjoy the journey.
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    If you need friends that can try to help you stay accountable...by maintaining that accountability themselves then feel free to add me....Im kind of a no excuses girl if you eat it then you pay the price and the consequence I really don't want to hear whining about it ...for heavens sake I want cake and crap too most days..lol....as far as the apidex goes let it go...jealousy ruins friendships you should be happy for your friend and her weight loss however she achieves it under a Physicians guidance...for every 10lbs she loses your 5lbs isn't anything to scoff at...people do things differently.....Food will always be around you...EAT what your body needs and treat yourself to what you crave once in a while...don't blame others or use it as a crutch....when you see those Dortioz in the pantry ..go for a 30min walk outside daily and treat yourself to one serving per week for meeting that goal..I wanted to edit to say pills are not an easy thing to be glued to daily I have to take several for medical issues....its not always as easy as crackin open a bottle and taking a pill.....don't wish it..be very happy you can just work out and lose weight
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!


    Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

    This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

    *adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

    This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

    I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

    Seriously. Someone just stole this idea and sold it to a chip company. And if not......*goes off to do a patent search*
  • trm68
    trm68 Posts: 55 Member
    Hey now,, you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm 68 and do a lite tae bo, a 3 mile walk on you tube with Leslie sansone, and a 2 mile walk outside a few days a week,,and it really makes you feel good and its only 9 months to bathing suit season,,,now get out there and sweat....Tim
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
    Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.



    I always hate it when people say their children trashed their body.......Ummmmm, no they didn't YOU did that with a bad diet and little to no exercise. Don't blame your children for YOUR choices!
  • Timelordlady85
    Timelordlady85 Posts: 797 Member
    Hey Ya'll,

    Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

    I hate it when women say this crap. Your kids didn't trash anything, you chose to get pregnant and have children.

    :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: yup couldn't have said it better!
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

    Wait.

    Your three kids forced you to eat at a calorie surplus and then continue to eat at a higher maintenance level over an extended period of time? I'm pretty sure children don't actually have this ability.

    You've obviously never met my kids...
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!


    Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

    This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

    *adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

    This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

    I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

    Seriously. Someone just stole this idea and sold it to a chip company. And if not......*goes off to do a patent search*

    As long as we're making all of my childhood dreams come true...

    ...I want to be able to buy a box of just the marshmallows from Lucky Charms...

    ...and just the candy sticks from the Lik-m-aid.



    Oh, and flying cars. We were all but promised flying cars by now...

    ...but if I have to choose, give me the marshmallows and candy sticks before the flying car.
  • I think my issue is that I'm an instant gratification kind of person. Like, "Hey, I just ran a mile, I'm gonna go weigh myself...Wait...I didn't lose any weight running that mile?!?! What the hell?!?!"

    That's why I'm jealous of the adipex. Because it expedites the process. I want immediate results with minimum work, ya' know?

    just get the gastric sleeve done?? But, you will have to work to keep the weight coming off after....
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

    Wait.

    Your three kids forced you to eat at a calorie surplus and then continue to eat at a higher maintenance level over an extended period of time? I'm pretty sure children don't actually have this ability.

    You've obviously never met my kids...

    If they can make a grown adult consistently eat thousands of calories more than they want to, I don't think I want to meet them.

    When I do this, it's because I've chosen to do it myself.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

    Wait.

    Your three kids forced you to eat at a calorie surplus and then continue to eat at a higher maintenance level over an extended period of time? I'm pretty sure children don't actually have this ability.

    You've obviously never met my kids...

    If they can make a grown adult consistently eat thousands of calories more than they want to, I don't think I want to meet them.

    When I do this, it's because I've chosen to do it myself.

    My kids drove me to drink.

    And I didn't even have the decency to thank them...
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!


    Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

    This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

    *adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

    This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

    I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

    Seriously. Someone just stole this idea and sold it to a chip company. And if not......*goes off to do a patent search*

    As long as we're making all of my childhood dreams come true...

    ...I want to be able to buy a box of just the marshmallows from Lucky Charms...

    ...and just the candy sticks from the Lik-m-aid.



    Oh, and flying cars. We were all but promised flying cars by now...

    ...but if I have to choose, give me the marshmallows and candy sticks before the flying car.

    AND A HOVERBOARD!
  • _sirenofthesea_
    _sirenofthesea_ Posts: 117 Member
    While I know it was not the OP intent - this thread has completely made me laugh out loud today - both her witty posts - and all of the snarky comments intermingled with people's opinions and now lucky charms marshmallows and doritos in a pixie stick....


    Welcome to MFP

    :) Nic
  • DanaLash
    DanaLash Posts: 59 Member
    No, no, no...ok, here is the deal. You misunderstand completely. First of all, whoever made the hyberbole dig. I dig it. I dig it MORE THAN ANYONE HAS EVER DUG ANYTHING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING. Really, it was hilarious.

    I believe I made it clear right from the jump that I'm not a touchy feely kind of person. Like, didn't I say that immediately? Yeah, I did. But, allow me to explain since everyone wants to jump my ****.

    1. When I said my kids trashed my body, I did not mean that my kids made me fat. I made me fat. Not that it is any of your business but apparently I need to explain because otherwise I'll be thrown to the MFP wolves up in this *****. I mean that my second child caused massive health issues. And then when I went to have the surgery to treat said health issues, I found out I was pregnant with my third. I spent my third pregnancy on complete bedrest. After my third was born, I had a very complicated and scary hysterectomy. By trashed my body, I meant that in the literal sense. So, suck it.

    2. My friend who was prescribed adipex DOES have a leg up on me. She has an amphetamine coursing through her veins giving her energy everyday. Can I just go buy some meth? No, no I cannot. I don't care what you say. I openly admit, I have zero will power. I am a mother of three tiny energy thieves and I am tired ALL OF THE TIME. You can tell me that I just have to find the motivation myself. Well, no ****, Sherlock. Why do you think I'm on this site to begin with?

    3. I didn't ask for people to give me reassuring lovey messages or advice, did I? I didn't ask for judgement, correct? All I said was, if any other people who just occasionally need a kick in the *kitten* wanna get in on this thing together, let me know. That was it.

    *****es be crazy.

    In regards to number 2, all I hear are excuses.

    ^Ditto this. Anybody can buy meth.

    QFT!

    OP, I wish you the best, but...welcome to the forums. If you come in with a notion that is wrong, you will hear about it. Multiple times.

    So, I'm sure this will be seen as combative, but what the hell...who are any of you to decide which of my notions are wrong?

    Also, most of the people giving me "advice" are on this site for the same reason I am...you're out of shape. Hey Pot, this is Kettle. You're black. Also, shut up.
  • casmithis
    casmithis Posts: 216 Member
    Thanks for the laugh everyone. If only that burned more calories.

    I get the "kicking the husband in the throat" part. My husband tries to put on weight. why can't we just ransfer wieght like an organ. Geesh, why do I have to come up with all the answers!!????
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!


    Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

    This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

    *adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

    This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

    I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

    Seriously. Someone just stole this idea and sold it to a chip company. And if not......*goes off to do a patent search*

    As long as we're making all of my childhood dreams come true...

    ...I want to be able to buy a box of just the marshmallows from Lucky Charms...

    ...and just the candy sticks from the Lik-m-aid.



    Oh, and flying cars. We were all but promised flying cars by now...

    ...but if I have to choose, give me the marshmallows and candy sticks before the flying car.

    Oh jof….

    http://www.amazon.com/Discount-Herbals-DH-8-Cereal-Marshmallows/dp/B001PM0KRU
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    So, I'm sure this will be seen as combative, but what the hell...who are any of you to decide which of my notions are wrong?

    Also, most of the people giving me "advice" are on this site for the same reason I am...you're out of shape. Hey Pot, this is Kettle. You're black. Also, shut up.

    post-25067-And-Here-We-Go-Joker-gif-Imgur-x71M.gif
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    Oh no she di'int.
This discussion has been closed.