BOYFRIEND HELP!!!!! THINKS ABOUT HIS EX

You've been together only two months. They were together 7 years. If it was recent, then maybe he's rebounding.

ETA: Are you living together after only 2 months?

I'm going to forego my usual snark and give you a real answer.

I spent 12 years with my ex. I don't want to be with him and I'm not in love with him, but it's hard to block out the last 12 years of my life and not think of him at all. To ask your bf to do that is unfair. Of course he's going to think about her; he gave her 7 years of his life.

I think you're just really insecure and you need to fix that.

lol, i think about past bfs fondly. its part of who i am. doesn't take a single thing away from who i am with or how i feel about them. the heart is plenty big enough to care about more than one person.


edit: past not passed (they aren't dead)

It's interesting that he decided to tell you that. You've only been together for two months, and it doesn't seem like a dealbreaker that he'd think about his ex; as long as he isn't trying to get back with her or something. The fact that he told you makes me think he trusts you, and you should trust him back unless he really gives you reason to think otherwise. Perhaps talking about his past love experiences and how it's affecting him will bring you closer.

When I got with my boyfriend, he also mentioned his ex and was very sensitive about her for the first few months of our relationship. She really hurt him and it took a long time for him to "trust in love" again, and that is why he would talk about her to me; and it helped me to understand where he was coming from. After about a year together, he seemed to get over a lot of that heartache thru our relationship and that's been a wonderful thing. Honesty and openness is a great to have in a relationship.

You need to be more specific (or he does) If by "thinks about his ex" you mean he's wishing she was still part of his life, or that he wants to get back together with her, yes, that's a problem. But if he's just saying the thought of her crosses his mind occasionally, so what? She was part of his life for 7 years, of course he's going to think about her sometimes.

Looks like you are insecure.

He was being open and honest with you, something that is important in relationships. If you react immaturely and jealous when he does it, he will stop doing it.

Basically you need to figure out if you want to be jealous of her or be thankful he is honest with you. Basically break up or get over it.

PS: I was in a horrible and abusive relationship before I met my husband. After we broke up, I still thought about him, it did not mean I wanted him back or that I loved him. It just happened.

It depends on what kind of "thinking" he is doing. In seven years... There are many memories that you cant erase. I have been in serious relationships and a certain song would come on the radio and I would instantly think of someone else. So I mean, that might not be all that bad. Do you still think about one of your ex's? Be honest with yourself.

Now... call me an emotional brick wall having broad, but there is no way you are in love after two months! Lol! And yall are living together too??? Idk. It is strange to me. This is the thing, when you start dating someone, you are dating a representative of that person (Most of the time). Very few people show there flaws right from the start. There are people that are together for years and BAM see a charcteristic in their spouse that they have never seen before. Yall dont know each other... Unless you have been friends for years.

I dont know mama.. If you get booku comments on what you should and shouldn't do (Including mine)... Dont stress over it... Do what your heart says. None of us gotta sleep in the bed with him at night. You do. All that matters is when you lay your head on your pillow at night, YOU are happy.

Good luck....

Oh, sweetie. You are so young. He is being honest with you, just about the best thing you could ask for in a relationship. I've lived for 32 years with a man who couldn't tell the truth to save his life.

I think about the service all the time, but I sure as Hell don't ever want to go back to it. It was years of very intense good/bad experiences. You can't just flip a switch and banish it. Give the dude a break, after seven years he's going to have to let the associations work themselves out. It also sounds like he really trusts you to tell you that in the first place.

It's totally normal to think about exes. I think about my exes (at least the ones with whom I had longer relationships of years) and my wife thinks about hers too. Sometimes we share stories about them, both happy and sad. Neither of us long to be with anyone but each other, but we respect that we each have a history of relationships prior to meeting. Those experiences made us better partners for each other.

My advice to you would be to work on some of the insecurities that get you up and packing when a fellow you care about says he thinks about his ex. Know what you bring to the table. A confident woman knows her worth in the world, not just in a relationship (and that goes for men too).

If he and his ex are very recently separated, ask him if he needs some time to process that relationship before starting another one. If he's hung up on his ex, do yourself a favor and get out of there. But if he's just thinking of his ex? Just thinking of some good times, or some sad ones? Good. He's human.

Love is a strong word to use after 2 months.

Did he leave her or did she leave him? In what ways is he thinking about her? If he was with her for 7 years they have history and there's nothing you can do to change that.

All you can do is go into this relationship hoping for the best. Your relationship will end real quick if you are constantly stressing on this. You have to just trust him. Only time will tell. Don't waste the time you do have on something that is out of your control. I'd say do the best you can to make this relationship a wonderful one. The happier you two are the less he'll need or want to think about the past.

However, if he isn't over her then he's not ready for another relationship just yet. Some people don't know how to be alone.

People are always going to think about past memories in their lives, especially ones that left a mark. Not a day goes by I don't think about people who used to be in my life, but are no longer an active part of it. You have to either accept that or find someone who has no past.

I think about my exes all the time, that doesn't mean I yearn for them.

I second this and people who are together for 7 years most likely were friends first and its easy to think about a friend you miss.

wtf? lay down the law. tell him he is not allowed to think about anyone. EVER!